To Sell or To Trade "Up".....with a LM setting leftover?

[starryeyed]

HELP! You are the ONLY friends I can turn to!

Remember my 2.47 F IF Asscher set in a Leon Mege split-shank? Well, I never told my now-husband about the ring. I've never worn it! I feel totally guilty about having another solitaire ring besides my e-ring. It's such a shame to let the ring sit, so I want to DO something.

I can't find the original thread with pictures since the PS format change, so I'm attaching an image.

So do you think I should sell the ring, or trade in for another diamond that I can maybe use as a pendant? If I do that, I have the gorgeous Leon Mege setting left over. I like the setting for a diamond, but not for a colored stone, so what do I do with it??

I'm not sure how much luck I would have trying to sell either the ring or just the setting.

HELP! What should I do?? Wearing the ring for all to see would be the toughest and I'd rather not go that route.

 

[Amandine]

Oh, starryeyed, I love your ring! Your setting is what I really wanted for my engagement ring--but couldn't make work for my budget. Its my dream ring. Sigh, some day!

I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know that I think your ring is just gorgeous...I don't think you will have trouble selling it, but I am a bit biased. Too bad it would still be outside my budget! I know you said you wouldn't like it for a colored stone, but what about a very pale colored stone? Something in an icy, pale, pale, blue?

 

[missydebby]

If you really can't stand to wear it as your other solitaire, this is what I would do.

IF YOU WANT TO KEEP (but yu should do this first anyways )
Call Leon and tell him your issue. Ask if he could make the asscher into a pendant or even into a bracelet. Then I would ask him his thoughts on placing a colored stone into the setting. He has the best asthetics in the world and would tell you honestly what would work in it. Perhaps, he would even take the ring back to reuse the setting himself and give you some sort of credit towards making your new project with the asscher.

IF YOU WANT TO SELL
I think I'd consign either the setting or whole ring to the girls at Jewels By Erica Grace. I recall that they sold in the recent past a plain Leon cathedral setting. They can take the hassle of "marketing" and dealing with the public and getting the money and they are very honest fair dealers. I also know that Pearlman's does consignments. Me myself, with an item of this value, I would not feel good about being my own dealer on ebay or another forum.... just too much at stake.

All my best, Debs

 

[Circe]

Hey, Starry - here's your original post. https://www.pricescope.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=62768

These days, when I want to search for something on PS, I just use Google. It's sad, but it works.

As for your dilemma ... I'm a little puzzled. Why don't you just tell your husband about the ring? What do you feel guilty about - spending your own money?

You'd lose money on any trade or sale, and, well, while I don't wanna be finger-shakey ... won't you just feel worse hiding an additional thing? If I'm remembering aright, you have that gorgeous pear necklace of similar carat weight, so you're in good shape for a pendant. Anything else on your wishlist? Because, even if there is, doesn't that run the same risk for discussion?

I think your best bet would probably be consigning it through Leon, if you don't want to go the "mentioning it to your husband and wearing it as a RHR" route. You'd probably get a fair-ish price for it, and maybe Leon would be willing to work something out between his commission and a new piece ....

 

[tyty333]

Can you tradein the stone and get the full value out of it? Then I'd buy a fancy buttery light yellow and put it in that beautiful
setting. It will still be a solitare but more like a RHR with the yellow stone.

Its a gorgeous ring...what are you wearing for an ering right now? I'd love to see!!!

 

[Nashville]

Wear it as a RHR and tell your husband you bought it. What's the point in hiding it if you love it? Certainly it wasn't cheap, so if you try to sell it don't expect to get all of that money back. There's no sense in wasting that beautiful setting just because you want to hide the purchase from your husband.

 

[mrscushion]

I don't have much good advice here, except that I would first follow missydebby's advice and call Leon to see what, if anything, he'd be willing to trade in. I just wanted to say that it's a real shame you can't wear that ring because it is just incredibly gorgeous. Are you sure you can't wear it as a right-hand ring? Why do you think your hubs would mind so much?

 

[tigian]

Why, oh why, would you have to hide such a perfect ring? I'm a little bit confused on that aspect, especially if you are contemplating keeping the setting and getting a new stone for it. Is your DH ok with a colored stone? I would be afraid that the re-set wouldn't compare to the original. If I were you, I would consign the whole ring to Jewels by EG or Pearlman's.

 

[TravelingGal]

OMG, you are going to make me cry. PLEASE wear that ring.

OK, that's not what you asked. If you don't care that you may not get what you paid for it back, I vote sell it whole. It would be horrible to take that thing apart.

I'll buy it. Just send it US post so I can rip it apart and say it was stolen in transit...

 

[tigian]

OMG, you are going to make me cry. PLEASE wear that ring.

OK, that's not what you asked. If you don't care that you may not get what you paid for it back, I vote sell it whole. It would be horrible to take that thing apart.

I'll buy it. Just send it US post so I can rip it apart and say it was stolen in transit...

 

[TooPatient]

What do you feel guilty about?

I don't see that having another solitaire is anything bad. The rings are different from each other so it isn't like you have a duplicate that is identical but larger.

If your guilt is because you bought something that cost a fair amount and didn't tell your FI (now DH) about it then you won't feel any better if you sell it (or trade it) and get something different. You'll either have to tell him you're working at a new project (and he'll probably ask how you plan to pay for a 2-1/2 ct diamond...) or you'll be in this same place over again just with a different piece that he doesn't know about.

I just read your original thread showing the ring -- it is STUNNING!! You obviously really liked the ring and were excited to wear it. Don't give it up.
Wear the ring and enjoy it. If your DH notices and asks about it, tell him honestly what happened. (you bought it before you two married and haven't really worn it since then). You could also ask his feelings about you having 2 solitaires. If he thinks it is strange then you can suggest trading the setting in and using the diamond in a new project.

You've got to get it out in the open though. You'll feel a lot better (and get to wear a beautiful ring that you clearly were thrilled about -- or get to design something new).


(Before you decide anything with it, you should read back through your old thread -- all 5 pages of it)

 

[Dreamer_D]

I am appalled at the idea of taking that ring apart. And selling it seems insane since it must have cost a pretty penny. And having it sit in your drawer is also blasphemy.

I too don't know why you cannot tell your husband about it? It is hard to give advice here without knowing the story. I would personally wear it and enjoy it.

 

[rosetta]

Yowza.

I'll take it off your hands for free.

No need to thank me.

 

[yennyfire]

I second (or third) Debby's good advice about calling Leon. That ring is just stunning. I'm sad that you feel that you can't tell your husband about it (however, it's obviously something you feel strongly about) and if you're not going to wear it, you might as well get something that you're proud to wear.

 

[starryeyed]

Ok, I know you guys all think I'm nuts.

DreamerD - you nailed my conundrum exactly. Blasphemy is right!

Too Patient - I know it sounds crazy, but it would not make me feel better to "get it out in the open". For me it's emotionally confusing. My in-laws are part of the problem, pre- and post-recession mindsets, my husband's feelings that I have another sizable solitaire. I'm thinking about trading for a pendant that I can wear regularly.

Traveling Gal -

Nashville - My husband is sensitive. The ring he gave me is equally, if not more, gorgeous. I just don't want to rub it in his face that I am able to buy my own solitaire. These aren't easy times for anyone. I can just tell it would not go over well, even though he'd accept it.

Tyty and Amandine - REALLY good idea, BUT I like diamond sidestones with any colored stone.

Circe - Thanks for the link! You are right - the pear! Love it, but it's not an everyday necklace for me. I called Leon - he offered to trade me a colored stone pendant he is making right now, but I don't think it's for me. We didn't get much further. He's so polite and considerate - I don't want to make a PIA of myself.

MissDebby - Thanks for the tip about Jewels by EG. I know what you mean about the hassle.

Whiteflash is wonderful and will do a trade for a RB. I'm thinking that if I go for a smaller ACA (as a push present to myself), it won't be as painful a "reveal" for my husband. I know the pendant will be tough, but not as bad as a solitaire ring. So maybe I can sell the setting? How likely is that??

The other thing would be to re-set the asscher with sidestones I suppose, but that's a big cash outlay. And I'm still faced with the problem of what to do with the original setting. I just think I'd get more use out of a simple solitaire pendant, and there wouldn't be such a financial hit trying to sell the entire ring. It does seem wrong to take the ring apart, but is it worth the hit? My sister-in-law wears a pendant all the time (albeit frozen spit), so it's easier politically.

 

[Dreamer_D]

How does setting it in a pendant change anything regarding the impression of wealth in "these times"? It is a honkin big rick no matter how you slice it. Tell people it is fake if you are worried. Iwold rock it and not care one iota. But if you are concerned, then sell it and be done and free up some cash. I bet you could consign it with someone good.

But still, the money is spent, coming out in the open does not acutally change anything except that people will know. I think being authentic and honest is always the best policy. Or if you are going to lie, lie big. Tell everyone you inherited it

 

[starryeyed]

How does setting it in a pendant change anything regarding the impression of wealth in "these times"? It is a honkin big rick no matter how you slice it. Tell people it is fake if you are worried. Iwold rock it and not care one iota. But if you are concerned, then sell it and be done and free up some cash. I bet you could consign it with someone good.

But still, the money is spent, coming out in the open does not acutally change anything except that people will know. I think being authentic and honest is always the best policy. Or if you are going to lie, lie big. Tell everyone you inherited it

The sister-in-law angle is key. I just really want a more wearable piece at the end of the day, while being financially responsible about the cost of the original piece. I would agree that honesty is the best policy, except when you have my in-laws!

 

[Nashville]

I agree with Dreamer, it's still a huge flippin diamond! You and your husband have a combined income I assume? Is this a pride issue? It's great that you want to spare his feelings, but would he really notice or care as much as you think? Just say it's costume jewelry and enjoy it! Chances are he's not going to go find an appraiser while you're out of the house.

I'm sorry, I just cringe at the thought of that magnificent ring being taken apart! Like watching a baby bird get eaten on the Discovery Channel!

 

[starryeyed]

yennyfire - I tried chatting with Leon, who then connected me with Perry. He said he'd call me back, but then I never heard back. The whole thing may be too confusing - they are busy people.

Rosette - you are too kind!

 

[starryeyed]

I agree with Dreamer, it's still a huge flippin diamond! You and your husband have a combined income I assume? Is this a pride issue? It's great that you want to spare his feelings, but would he really notice or care as much as you think? Just say it's costume jewelry and enjoy it! Chances are he's not going to go find an appraiser while you're out of the house.

I'm sorry, I just cringe at the thought of that magnificent ring being taken apart! Like watching a baby bird get eaten on the Discovery Channel!

I know - it's a shame. I can't help but think this ring would make some girl VERY happy. It's not 2007 though and from what I understand of these times, not many people are willing to come up with the money right now. I want something I can use myself regularly.

There's no way he would believe it's costume!

We have our own separate incomes. I bought the ring myself in 2007 before we were married.

 

[Circe]

Ok, I know you guys all think I'm nuts.
... My husband is sensitive. The ring he gave me is equally, if not more, gorgeous. I just don't want to rub it in his face that I am able to buy my own solitaire. These aren't easy times for anyone. I can just tell it would not go over well, even though he'd accept it.

I snipped your reply to Nashville, since it seemed like the pertinent bit. Starry, are you telling me your husband *isn't* thrilled to be married to a self-sufficient woman who can provide - and provide amply! - for herself? I dunno, my first thought is that you might not be giving him enough credit. This is, sadly, not a problem that my husband will ever be faced with (English professor over here), but if I pulled in that sort of cash, I think he'd be delighted! Whatever you decide, maybe discussing it with him might be a good start?

Btw, I do not think this should be any of your in-laws business. AT ALL. It doesn't concern them, and if they judge you for being successful ... well.



On the more practical note of wearability ... I will admit, I don't wear my other rings nearly as much as I used to now that the wedding set is present in perpetuity. I do wear my pendant 24/7 ... but I'm not dealing with a little one day-in-and-day-out. Judging by my SIL's babies, they loooooooove to grab at shiny things. And then they love to put them in their mouths. For the sake of baby and diamond alike, this seems like sort of a bad plan. Perhaps earrings might be a better way to go? I would go through WF for the trade, I think, and see if there are any colored stones worth considering for the Leon setting. Your baby's birthstone, perhaps?

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Oh my Goodness! Starryeyed, I clearly remember that 2.47 IF and I have always adored it.

I so appreciate that you're trying to be sensitive to others during this economic climate, but I think hiding it from your DH seems a bit off. Do you have a real reason to be concerned that his pride would be damaged? Couldn't you just whip it out, and explain the situation to him, and suggest that it would make you impossibly happy to wear it as your RHR as your push present?

I'm just trying to think of a situation where your DH might hold his own pride in higher regard than your happiness. It pains me to see that you're considering taking that amazing ring apart when your own joy over receiving it was so apparent in it's debut thread.

 

[iheartscience]

Oh my Goodness! Starryeyed, I clearly remember that 2.47 IF and I have always adored it.

I so appreciate that you're trying to be sensitive to others during this economic climate, but I think hiding it from your DH seems a bit off. Do you have a real reason to be concerned that his pride would be damaged? Couldn't you just whip it out, and explain the situation to him, and suggest that it would make you impossibly happy to wear it as your RHR as your push present?

I'm just trying to think of a situation where your DH might hold his own pride in higher regard than your happiness. It pains me to see that you're considering taking that amazing ring apart when your own joy over receiving it was so apparent in it's debut thread.

Ditto this.

 

[starryeyed]

I'm so fickle I guess! I just moved into a new house and I'm ready for the next one. Seriously.

I think it's a gorgeous thing for sure, but there's no meaning behind it - it was not given to me, nor does it represent a milestone. It was impulsive - I had to have it.

Lauren & thing2of2 - I wish things were so clear cut. Wearability is important to me. I have several other rings for my right hand that I wear occasionally, so this would get even less airtime, even if I came out of the closet about it. Let's just hope in 3 years, I'm not writing about what to do with my fabulous pendant that I never wear!

Circe - everyone, it seems, has ideas about what I should be doing with my own money. People have perceptions about family, civic, and charitable obligations and I try to be sensitive. "Discussing" is usually an option, but in this case, I'm not comfortable, nor do I think I have much to gain.

I know you guys really want to help me figure this out and I'm so glad you are here for me. I'll spare you though - I'm not going to get into all the bloody gory details of in-laws, finances, the relationship with my husband because it's just too much of a bear. I live in a complicated web.

So I want a pendant, I don't want to come out of pocket a ton, I have a ring that I don't wear. I can sell it or trade it. The setting could get left over. I guess I feel clear about that - just not sure about the second-hand market vs. trade-in. Have I mentioned how wonderful the folks at WF are?

 

[lyra]

Yes, you should trade in the diamond for a pendant that you will wear all the time. Either consign the mounting (you will not get nearly as much as you paid for it) or have a coloured stone mounted in it. Win-win.

 

[asscher_girl]

I would trade the diamond in and reset it in a pendant, and sell the setting. BTW - what are the dim's of your asscher? I'd love to take that setting off your hands

 

[starryeyed]

Lyra, you wonderful enabler you! It's horrible to think about sacrificing a LM, but maybe that's what I'll have to do....

Any favorite pendant settings?? I'm very bail-averse and bezel averse. I'm concerned about a few things - the diamond flipping, my baby tugging on it and a link giving way, and/or the clasp always winding up in the front. I'm a 17" kind-of-gal.

Hi Asscher girl! Another enabler. The dim's are 7.5 x 7.6 mm. The setting is magnificent for sure - such incredible detailing.....

 

[Dee*Jay]

Starry, do you maybe have some sort of even coming up that you can celebrate by "getting something new" and this could be it? Does that make any sense? E.g., if you're going to graduate from some program, have a big birthday, something like that? I am also trying to figure out if the ring itself is the problem or if it's because it's been behind the scenes for so long, or both. (Probably both, but I'm just thinking trying to think this through... )

 

[Dreamer_D]

OK, I accept that you won't wear this ring.

I would have a gem put in the setting, WF can do it for you, then it becomes a lovely cocktail ring for the right hand.

A necklace is only impractical when you are at home with bebe. As soon as you are back to work you can wear what you like. Will you be a SAHM? I presume not from the income comments. So get a nice necklace you love and wear the heck out of it as soon as you are back in the adult world.

You are bezel averse? I admit I adore Circes bezel -- thick and delish -- on a long chain. YUMMM! You can either keep the asscher or trade. I think a trade is a good plan as an asscher is not the best stone for a necklace in my opinion.... though with a halo of rbs I might change my mind

 

[Lula]

The ring is gorgeous. But it seems to symbolize something you're not comfortable with. I do wonder, though, will selling/trading in the ring help you be more comfortable with what you're uncomfortable with (and I don't think it's the ring per se). I don't expect you to answer that question here -- just something for you to think about so you don't make a decision you might regret.

Your in-laws won't live forever; have you considered saving this ring for your future children?

If you really have tired of the ring, or if the size/style is just not right for who you are now -- well, that happens, and you certainly shouldn't feel obligated to keep it because a bunch of jewelry nuts on PS are alarmed about the thought of destroying a Leon! But if it's truly not a piece that you treasure, then, in that case, I'd either work with Whiteflash to trade in the stone for something you'd wear more often (and be prepared to take a large loss on the setting or keep the setting and set a colored gem in it). Or, I'd leave the ring intact and sell it through Jewels by Erica Grace -- that's the vendor who would most likely be able to sell it for a price anywhere near what it's worth. Or perhaps Erica and Grace would have something in their inventory that you could trade your ring for.

Just don't do anything rash in an attempt to make yourself feel better about issues beyond your control (your in-laws' attitudes about money; spending, etc.).