Thoughts on necessity of wedding ring spacer

[Arete03]

Hi All. I'm mostly a behind the scenes lurker to learn from you with so much experience - life experiences and learning from your mistakes and successes...and all your varieties in jewelry. I love this space and what so many of you bring to the table. I have a few things going on with my jewelry (ER/wedding band and studs - will post both separately for your advice). I chose my wedding band and ER after scouring the many, many beautiful photos here shared by all y'all and I'm so grateful! I am a bad PS-er, though, and haven't posted anything about my studs or completion of my ER/wedding band

I'm here today to get your opinion on the use/benefit, or otherwise, of a spacer between ER & wedding bands. I understand their purpose, but I also kinda thought since my ER and wedding band were made with one another and molded around one another, that a spacer wouldn't be needed (my band is curved to more properly fit my ER), however, it seems that one or two of my diamonds in my wedding band rub the center stone prongs around my ER.

I have a 3 stone ER and a 5 stone wedding band in platinum, purchased and set through BGD. I do love it, but the maintenance costs for servicing the set has become astronomical this time around (to me at least!).

I've basically sent my rings in once every two years. The first time...I knew there would need to be repairs because I wore my rings every. day. I was hard on them. My job is very hands on and the rings get banged up (in fact, my original ER got a chip in it, probably bc of how I have to use my hands at work). This time, however, I only wore my rings for about 4 months total out of the 2 years, because I was towards the end of my pregnancy when I sent them in the first time, then breastfeeding, and then by the time I was back down to being able to wear them again, I became pregnant again....and here we are. Despite only wearing them about 4 months and not always wearing my rings to work, the repairs are the same as the first time sending in, but like 3x more expensive!! BGD says the cost of everything has gone up (I know the story), so their labor has increased as well...and then there is also the cost of FedEx insured shipping both ways, too. Regardless, the cost of their "basic repair" option, including shipping, was >$700! ANNNDdd...BGD even gave me a courtesy discount for shipping (appreciated)....so cost would have been even more.

Ultimately, this makes me hesitant to even wear my rings - but IMO, they're made to WEAR! I've also considered that maybe I need to have them reset maybe by someone else...or into something else? I'm not sure what to do. Do you think having a spacer would really even be worth the cost to be made in the long run ---> would it even decrease the cost of maintenance? BGD quoted the spacer to be $600 (platinum). I will include a few glamour shots of my rings so you'll have some understanding of the rings and how they fit together.

For both the maintenances I've had so far, below are what has been repaired in their "basic" repair:
ER:

• Retighten and Retip Prongs of Sidestones
• Refill 3 spots with metal on shank
• Polish/Clean and Recondition Piece back to new

Wedding band:

• Retighten and Retip prongs of 8 diamond melee
• Polish/Clean and Recondition Piece back to new

What thoughts do you seasoned experts have?

 

[jjca]

Hi All. I'm mostly a behind the scenes lurker to learn from you with so much experience - life experiences and learning from your mistakes and successes...and all your varieties in jewelry. I love this space and what so many of you bring to the table. I have a few things going on with my jewelry (ER/wedding band and studs - will post both separately for your advice). I chose my wedding band and ER after scouring the many, many beautiful photos here shared by all y'all and I'm so grateful! I am a bad PS-er, though, and haven't posted anything about my studs or completion of my ER/wedding band

I'm here today to get your opinion on the use/benefit, or otherwise, of a spacer between ER & wedding bands. I understand their purpose, but I also kinda thought since my ER and wedding band were made with one another and molded around one another, that a spacer wouldn't be needed (my band is curved to more properly fit my ER), however, it seems that one or two of my diamonds in my wedding band rub the center stone prongs around my ER.

I have a 3 stone ER and a 5 stone wedding band in platinum, purchased and set through BGD. I do love it, but the maintenance costs for servicing the set has become astronomical this time around (to me at least!).

I've basically sent my rings in once every two years. The first time...I knew there would need to be repairs because I wore my rings every. day. I was hard on them. My job is very hands on and the rings get banged up (in fact, my original ER got a chip in it, probably bc of how I have to use my hands at work). This time, however, I only wore my rings for about 4 months total out of the 2 years, because I was towards the end of my pregnancy when I sent them in the first time, then breastfeeding, and then by the time I was back down to being able to wear them again, I became pregnant again....and here we are. Despite only wearing them about 4 months and not always wearing my rings to work, the repairs are the same as the first time sending in, but like 3x more expensive!! BGD says the cost of everything has gone up (I know the story), so their labor has increased as well...and then there is also the cost of FedEx insured shipping both ways, too. Regardless, the cost of their "basic repair" option, including shipping, was >$700! ANNNDdd...BGD even gave me a courtesy discount for shipping (appreciated)....so cost would have been even more.

Ultimately, this makes me hesitant to even wear my rings - but IMO, they're made to WEAR! I've also considered that maybe I need to have them reset maybe by someone else...or into something else? I'm not sure what to do. Do you think having a spacer would really even be worth the cost to be made in the long run ---> would it even decrease the cost of maintenance? BGD quoted the spacer to be $600 (platinum). I will include a few glamour shots of my rings so you'll have some understanding of the rings and how they fit together.

For both the maintenances I've had so far, below are what has been repaired in their "basic" repair:
ER:

• Retighten and Retip Prongs of Sidestones
• Refill 3 spots with metal on shank
• Polish/Clean and Recondition Piece back to new

Wedding band:

• Retighten and Retip prongs of 8 diamond melee
• Polish/Clean and Recondition Piece back to new

What thoughts do you seasoned experts have?

Beautiful set! That’s a lot of money every 2 years. Last summer DK make me a custom 3 stone setting in platinum for about $800 less than a similar setting BGD quoted me. If you have to spend that much every 2 years, resetting the ER may be more cost effective.
You can definitely get a spacer much cheaper than that - but you’ll have to send it all in no matter what direction you go.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Your rings are beautiful! Did you discuss the rubbing issue with BGD? If a simple spacer would save your ering prongs, I would definitely do that instead of resetting everything. Not sure what your job entails, but maybe a plain wedding band for work would be a better option? Seems that the damage is coming primarily from your job.

 

[tyty333]

What a beautiful set! I would not reset anything either if a simple spacer would resolve the issue. They can make knife-edge spacers that are taller but narrower, so they protect both rings but aren't as obvious.

 

[Arete03]

Beautiful set! That’s a lot of money every 2 years. Last summer DK make me a custom 3 stone setting in platinum for about $800 less than a similar setting BGD quoted me. If you have to spend that much every 2 years, resetting the ER may be more cost effective.
You can definitely get a spacer much cheaper than that - but you’ll have to send it all in no matter what direction you go.

I agree - this is a lot of money, even if I sent it in every 2 years. I have wondered if because the BGD setting is machine made rather than hand forged might play a role in having to tighten the prongs so much, but I'm not sure if it'd be a better situation with a hand forged ring.

@MissGotRocks & @tyty333 thank you so much! @MissGotRocks , I'm a nurse anesthetist, so not like construction work, but just constant use with my hands. From the first time around having my rings serviced, I thought maybe my job was the culprit, but after going back to work after the baby, I only work 1 day a week to keep my skills up and rarely wore my rings to work. That coupled with only having worn my rings for 4 months over the course of 2 years...and they still did the same repairs. Just seems fishy to me and feel like things just don't add up . I did reach out to BGD regarding essentially the same amount of work being done after 2 hard years of wear vs 4 months of barely being worn and they assured me it was "normal" wear, but was outside of their "warranty" servicing. When I asked her if a spacer would mitigate most of the work, she said something along the lines of, "we usually suggest a spacer with rings with higher carat weight as yours," however, this was never suggested to me during the process of ring design/choosing diamonds, etc. She also has just reassured me this is normal wear...but I really can't justify this kind of price tag for regular maintenance.

@tyty333 thank you - I didn't realize they were called knife edge spacers, but I definitely wanted something small and unnoticeable if it ends up being worth having one for decreasing maintenance costs.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I agree - this is a lot of money, even if I sent it in every 2 years. I have wondered if because the BGD setting is machine made rather than hand forged might play a role in having to tighten the prongs so much, but I'm not sure if it'd be a better situation with a hand forged ring.

@MissGotRocks & @tyty333 thank you so much! @MissGotRocks , I'm a nurse anesthetist, so not like construction work, but just constant use with my hands. From the first time around having my rings serviced, I thought maybe my job was the culprit, but after going back to work after the baby, I only work 1 day a week to keep my skills up and rarely wore my rings to work. That coupled with only having worn my rings for 4 months over the course of 2 years...and they still did the same repairs. Just seems fishy to me and feel like things just don't add up . I did reach out to BGD regarding essentially the same amount of work being done after 2 hard years of wear vs 4 months of barely being worn and they assured me it was "normal" wear, but was outside of their "warranty" servicing. When I asked her if a spacer would mitigate most of the work, she said something along the lines of, "we usually suggest a spacer with rings with higher carat weight as yours," however, this was never suggested to me during the process of ring design/choosing diamonds, etc. She also has just reassured me this is normal wear...but I really can't justify this kind of price tag for regular maintenance.

@tyty333 thank you - I didn't realize they were called knife edge spacers, but I definitely wanted something small and unnoticeable if it ends up being worth having one for decreasing maintenance costs.

Their cost for maintenance sounds very high! I would try to find a reputable jeweler near you that could address any further issues with your set. Deleting the shipping costs would be a plus! I think most reputable jewelers would check your rings for damage and recommend work if it needed to be done. Not sure why prongs needed to be retipped - are the rings platinum? Just all sounds a bit exaggerated to me - particularly the price!
Can you share the specs of your rings with us? They are very beautiful!!

 

[Lookinagain]

When I asked her if a spacer would mitigate most of the work, she said something along the lines of, "we usually suggest a spacer with rings with higher carat weight as yours,"

I honestly don't understand this comment of theirs at all.

I agree, find a local jeweler to check your rings and advise if you need any repairs. They can certainly polish and clean them, and honestly most will clean them for free. The prongs shouldn't need retipping after the 4 moths of wear. And yes, the price seems high.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Yeah time to find a local jeweler you trust is a first step. That is a high price and also it surprises me that prongs would need retipping so soon, but then again I am very gentle in my rings. I’ve worn my three stone for 6 years and haven’t needed any repairs. I guess if you are trying to make them “like new” there could be things to do, but that certainly seems unnecessary to me. Can you see the damage with your eyes or a loupe?

I suppose a tall knife edge spacer could help but I don’t personally like that look. The set is gorgeous. I would personally rather invest in an alternate wedding set for work. Something hardy. There are many beautiful styles. You could get a flush set three stone with a bit of curve so you could still wear the wb with it for example.

Another option is wearing the rings with a silicone sizer wrapping both shanks. That might keep them together better so there isn’t rubbing damage (though I am skeptical this is such a huge issue).

 

[Dreamer_D]

I honestly don't understand this comment of theirs at all.

.

A larger diamond would weigh more and slide around more?

 

[Lookinagain]

A larger diamond would weigh more and slide around more?

Perhaps, but it would seem to me that if the setting are made so that the stones rub the prongs, the size of the stones wouldn't matter that much. And it looks like her stones are a nice size. Not small.

 

[WillyDiamond]

My wife uses a spacer between he ER (halo) and full eternity WB so the WB does not hit the uprights (cathedral?) holding the center stone..

 

[freddyboston]

we use a small "skinny ring" ($100 @ ETSY in 950 PT) ~ provides just enough buffer to keep them from rubbing but pretty much invisible....

View Platinum rings by TheLoveKnotShop on Etsy

Shop Rose Gold Wedding Bands, Love Knots, Jewelry Supplies by TheLoveKnotShop located in Weedville, Pennsylvania. Smooth shipping! Has a history of shipping on time with tracking. Speedy replies! Has a history of replying to messages quickly. Rave reviews! Average review rating is 4.8 or higher

www.etsy.com

 

[TXwidow]

if your wedding bands are curved the spacer might not 'fit' well. If that is the route you take perhaps purchase a very inexpensive sterling silver band first to try the fit?

That shipping cost was horrible; I would try to find a local jeweler (ask your local folks for recommendations) where they would have an excellent bench to do the work.

I assume the value of the set exceeds what the USPS will insure?

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

i think the jeweller is having you on with these costs
and why didnt they suggest the spacer to start with

i agree, find a local jeweller you can trust


i like the inexpensive idea of trying out sterling silver spacer rings to see if a spacer would work and to see if you like it

 

[tyty333]

For a spacer...I don't think you can just buy any spacer off Etsy. I think you'll need to have one made that
speciffically fits the curves of your set. I think a jeweler is going to need your set to make the spacer (or maybe the
CADS for it).

 

[Rfisher]

Is soldering small-ish bumpers (or a rail?) to the side of the curve d band - to perform the same function as a separate spacer ring- an option ?
I think I’d prefer the ‘bumpers’ over soldering the two together, but unsure if I’d prefer it over a third spacer ring. Does stacking that third, even if super thin, change ring size needs?

Doesn’t address retightening nor retipping melee tho. I’d assume that need would continue on.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

why did the prongs need remadial work after only 3/4 months wear ?
is their a design flaw
or is the jeweller just taking the micky ?

 

[Arete03]

Hi All! So sorry for the delay in responses. Was a whirlwind of a week!

@Lookinagain, @Dreamer_D, @TXwidow, and @Daisys and Diamonds, I do agree with finding a local jeweler. I think the only reason I wasn't doing this was bc I thought I remembered they have a policy voiding warranty of their rings if work is done on the rings outside of BG. However, after thinking on this (and this high expense - even if it's only been every 2y so far), I think I can at least find a good and trusted local jeweler to at least check the rings for significant damage or loose prongs, etc and then maybe if work needs to be done, to have it sent to BG.

I @Daisys and Diamonds & @Dreamer_D - I have considered your thoughts on why prongs needed to be retipped and/or retightened so soon and was why I brought up to them that they did the same work 2.5 y ago this time with considerablely less wear. I mean, light wear - taking care of a baby and occasionally wearing to work - and then even only wearing just the wedding band! I also wondered if they're needing to do this much work with this little wear, maybe there was a design issue. This was why I considered maybe needing to re-design my ring if this is an issue.

@Dreamer_D and @Lookinagain - there wasn't really "damage" per se. I could see one spot on the 12 o'clock and 6 o'clock prongs of ER where WB rubbed against the WB, but even after the two years where I was HARD on my rings, it wasn't significant. I could just see a line there. And..in that instance, I could see maybe filling in the metal and needing to retip the few prongs of nearby diamonds in WB there...but they have never told me any of the diamonds were necessarily loose. And I do agree - I don't love the look of the spacer, and IMO, would change aesthetics of my ring. I know some like to see the individual diamonds and like their large stone to be the thriller of the show, but I think my set kinda all blends together, which is what I like. With a spacer, even a nice custom knife edge, would slightly change aesthetics. Which brings up the next issue of if they thought this might be an "issue" why didnt' they suggest it to me when I bought it (I definitely would have thought twice before this purchase then, bc I didn't want a spacer). I do remember actually discussing this with them and they suggested that the set is made for one another and that rubbing wouldn't be an issue. I honestly felt this time like it was almost a $$ racket with the custom spacer. I agree with @tyty333 and @TXwidow that a standard shaped spacer definitely would not work well with this set since the WB is curved to fit the ER - and I will admit - it does really hug it well. Regarding rings potentially sliding around bc of center stone weight....when I wear these together, they are solid in place on my finger. No noticeable moving and I feel they almost seem soldered together when they're on the finger together. Ehhh, maybe sometimes when my hands get super cold they might jiggle by one another a tiny bit, but in general, when one moves, the other follows. In general though, these rings when worn together don't really move much!

@TXwidow regarding shipping, yes, they said I could ship USPS, but it would not be fully insured d/t USPS insurance limits.

@Rfisher this doesn't sound like a terrible idea! I am with you, though, on the issue with the diamond melee and retightening/retipping prongs, etc, which is why I was even wondering if the spacer deal was even really an issue.

AND SOOOO. Since it has taken me so long to respond - given your input and thoughts and after talking with BG, I did decide not to do a spacer, to find a local jeweler who can at least inspect the ring to ensure integrity, and then to reach out to BG if something needs to be done. I DID speak to them again and they did actually suggest that maybe I didn't need to send them in for inspection even every 2 years. They also, I feel like, agreed the spacer ultimately wouldnt' make that big of a difference because a spacer is also a metal and can cause damage, too.

I would like to thank you all for your helpful thoughts and insights and taking the time to respond here.

I also feel like I should share the obligatory photos/video of the rings when I did receive them back the other day. They always look so PRISTINE and somehow more shiny than I could ever make them. How is this possible, ha?! Forgive the swollen hands ---> results of heat + pregnancy, ha! I'm also not great at capturing the sparkle that great, but you can certainly see the brilliance in the videos

Oh! Also @MissGotRocks - thank you for the compliment. To share the specs:
ER:
Metal: Platinum
Center stone: 2.12 G VVS2 Black by BG
2 Side stones: Both 0.538 G VS2 Signature round
BGD signature melee

​

WB:
Metal: Platinum
5 stones ranging from 0.21 - 0.214 G VS2 Signature rounds
BGD signature melee matching to same point as on ER.
2 Surprise stones inside with alexandrite (husband birth stone) and blue topaz (my birth stone) and inscription

Indoor store lighting:

Outdoor:

 

[MissGotRocks]

Your rings are just gorgeous! Thanks so much for sharing the video. BGD clearly repolished the platinum - which we can’t do at home - and the rings shine like new money! I totally concur with your decision to find a local jeweler. Sending the rings in every two years just because is both costly and possibly even unnecessary. Jewelers will generally be happy to check prongs, etc. for you, and some recommend doing so every six months. You can determine how frequently you think is necessary. I would also double check about the length of BDG’s warranty on the setting. I am guessing it is not for a lifetime and therefore may not be necessary to only consider sending them back to BGD for repair. However, do whatever feels more comfortable to you.
Meanwhile, they are cleaned and polished and repaired so enjoy them to the fullest!!

 

[Lookinagain]

. I would also double check about the length of BDG’s warranty on the setting. I am guessing it is not for a lifetime and

I was going to say the same regarding the warranty. How long does it last?

I think you are making the right decision regarding a local jeweler. If they inspect it and find damage then you can decide if you want to send it back to BG or if you trust a local jeweler to do any repair needed. Make sure you see their work before you let them work on your rings. But I kind of think that you will not need as much work as what you've been getting if you aren't wearing your rings much. Honestly, even if you wear them everyday, I don't think two years would generally warrant much work other than perhaps a polishing if you like to keep them shiny. Investigate what jeweler you choose and good luck.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I don’t think warranties are all that useful. They don’t usually cover wear and tear and if you have insurance other big issues would be covered anyway. All that shipping back and forth! Forget it.

I’d just wear the rings and enjoy. Have them checked every couple years locally. Maybe invest in a loupe and learn to examine it yourself! Otherwise I just don’t see the need for so much servicing. I have never had my rings serviced lol

 

[Lookinagain]

I have never had my rings serviced lol

Me neither. I once found a ring with a prong that broke and I had it repaired. And another ring that "broke". Had DK repair that too. That's about it in many many years. I check them out myself occasionally. I think that is fairly easy to do. But I also don't care about polishing them. That would require more "servicing" I guess.

 

[purplesilk]

I don't know if it has been already suggested: I'd ask BGD to solder together the e-ring and the wedding band; then I'd wear a plain band for working days.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Me neither. I once found a ring with a prong that broke and I had it repaired. And another ring that "broke". Had DK repair that too. That's about it in many many years. I check them out myself occasionally. I think that is fairly easy to do. But I also don't care about polishing them. That would require more "servicing" I guess.

Yes I examine my rings regularly and check the prongs (see if diamonds move). Never had a polish either! I don’t have any fully platinum rings but I would want the patina. I like when rings show age.

I have never owned pave though. Maybe that needs more attention…

 

[Lookinagain]

I like the patina too. I do have pave. But so far no issues.