The unexpected wedding band proposal...

[soxfan]

Dear Price Scope community,
I'm hoping for your kind guidance on my unexpected proposal 10 days ago...
But firstly I should admit - I have been secretly eyeing off discussions/jewels on Price Scope for years. This may sound strange, but I find looking at beautiful jewellery really relaxing and uplifting. I am a humanitarian worker in emergencies (Nigeria, Iraq etc) and sometimes after a tough day I find myself zoning out dreaming of owning a beautiful piece of jewellery (even though I know this is totally at odds with the work I do / poverty in the world etc.) My wonderful partner also does quite dangerous humanitarian work in conflict, and I have never admitted to him my secret dream of owning something very special and beautiful.
10 days ago, my partner proposed, with the Van Cleef & Arpels Estelle Wedding Band: https://www.vancleefarpels.com/eu/e...ng-bands/vcarn57o00-estelle-wedding-band.html
I said yes with no hesitation to him, and the ring is obviously lovely, but my heart is sinking a little bit - I don't love it. Because the ring was considerably too big, we put it back in the box to exchange for the correct size, and I feel bad for saying I was a little relieved by taking it off. A few days latter he said "you don't love the ring do you?" I must've hesitated because he smiled saying "I knew the second you saw it and you gave me your professional face". I have no idea what my professional face is (?!) but at least he knows me well. He asked me to try on the ring again because maybe if I saw it for a second time I'd fall in love. He looked so despondent so I said "yes, let's give that a go" and his entire face lit up. As soon as the ring was back on he was beaming and said "it is absolutely perfect. I knew the second I saw it this was you. It's everything I wanted for you".
The situation now is - he now thinks I am madly in love with the ring, would like me to wear it every day for the rest of my life (literally his words), does not want to exchange it, but very sadly said he would sell it and buy something else if my feelings changed. I am torn between fully embracing this wonderful new chapter of our lives by wearing the (correct size) ring and hoping it grows on me, vs knowing we would never spend that type of money on another ring or jewellery and panicking if this is my only chance, do I break his heart?
Any guidance hugely appreciated...

He's kind of strong-arming you. I don't know......I understand that he probably put thought into it, but I feel like he's trying to MAKE you love it.

Everything you write just speaks to making HIM happy- "his entire face lit up," "he was beaming," "he would like me to wear it every day for the rest of my life.."

I'm not trying to be mean, I just think you are feeling bad when you shouldn't.

 

[lydial]

I myself think it is a cool though overly expensive ring but it is your body that needs to wear it. If it fit you may feel differently. So to me from a sensitive standpoint it is probably worth keeping, but spill the beans now about your interest in nice expensive jewelry so he knows you want to research and invest in your own pretty things!

 

[blueMA]

He's kind of strong-arming you. I don't know......I understand that he probably put thought into it, but I feel like he's trying to MAKE you love it.

Everything you write just speaks to making HIM happy- "his entire face lit up," "he was beaming," "he would like me to wear it every day for the rest of my life.."

I'm not trying to be mean, I just think you are feeling bad when you shouldn't.

I'd say the OP was very poker-faced for him to have a chance to mistake that she is "madly in love with the ring"
I know a few Pleasantville southern bells, and it can be tough to read what they really think, until you listen to them gossiping later...

 

[Polished]

What a gesture! And I love the French connection. But why should that connection be a ring you don't care for. I'd definitely be bartering with this company for products you would love and wear. Your engagement ring and wedding ring should be chosen with care and in a style you love. That doesn't mean that a necklace or a pair of earrings from a french company couldn't have a great deal of sentimental meaning between you and your future husband.

 

[luv2sparkle]

@luv2sparkle I can completely understand where you are coming from and I am certain that it is a good place. Nonetheless, I wholeheartedly disagree with the advice that you have given.
1. This is not a trinket or an inexpensive band that OP should just accept and hope that “it will grow on her” one day. It is a $10k purchase, her only expensive jewel, a jewel that she has been secretly dreaming about for so long. This ring should bring her joy, not in 40years, not in 30 or 20, but in this moment, right now.
2. I would like to think that long gone are the times when a man would be deciding for a woman, even if that decision is an engagement ring, and expect that the woman should simply be happy and content, not have an opinion or feelings about it and just accept the decision that their partner has made on their behalf, without consulting, without an approval.
3. Many women do not wish to have children, so bringing potential grandchildren into this conversation is a little presumptuous.
4. While I completely agree that the little, sweet and sentimental things hold much value, this is a very expensive material purchase, not “a little thing”, especially if OP won’t be able to get a new ring in the future. The life that they will build together and all of the moments that they will share will undoubtedly be the most important. Nonetheless, a bad expensive purchase doesn’t become better with time, so I hope that OP is not afraid to speak up and get what she would really love to wear for a long time.

If she really doesn't like it, I hope she is able to get something she loves. But her SO bought this for her with all the right reasons in mind. Not to force her into something that she doesn't like, or to make her wear his choice. It was done, (it seems to me) completely out of love and very sweet sentiments. It seems like he wanted it to have a special meaning behind it. It didn't sound to me like it was 'a man trying to decide anything for a woman', or that she should be happy and content or not have other feelings. I would not suggest any woman do that.
The OP recognized the happiness and joy she saw on his face, and sometimes in a marriage, the other persons happiness takes the greater precedence than our own. On the basis of a 40 year marriage, I can tell you that makes both of you happy, if you can take turns doing it. It might not work for her in this case, I understand that. Just offering a perspective, that sometimes the things you think you don't like now, in the future end up meaning more to you than you ever thought they could. I don't think this ring falls under the category of 'bad, expensive purchase'. It just wasn't what she had in mind. While I have no idea if the OP would ever even like to have children, I can imagine what a wonderful story it would be-because of the reasons that her future husband chose it.
I understand that she or you might not agree at all, and that is way okay with me. Just something to think about.

 

[voce]

When your fiance purchased the ring he would have been asked what size he wanted to order. When he didn't know, and decided to take a guess, the sales person must have told him the ring wasn't sizeable, but he went ahead anyway. His decision to buy the ring at the most expensive jewelry store in the world also bewilders me. It's not like there aren't plenty other jewelry stores in Paris.

All this leads me to believe your fiance might be quite impulsive. At some point he's going to have to learn that, in good marriages, significant decisions are made after discussion and full agreement from both husband and wife. IMHO this would be the perfect time to start getting that message across.

*snaps* to prs' insight

I agree that his romantic gesture seems totally impulsive, and, in the future, you're going to have to start reining him in on these impulsive expensive purchases. I'm very happily engaged myself, and having consumed a lot of relationship TED talks, think that honesty and trust are essential in long-term relationships. By "protecting his feelings" you could be acting irresponsibly, so that if you ever have a disagreement in the future and this gets out, he would be even more hurt you didn't tell him right away, but buried your feelings for years. What he decided to do was financially irresponsible, and I don't think you should let this kind of behavior continue, just because it pains you to refuse a gift now. My DF proposed first, and then let me pick out my own ring. Happy marriages IMO take collaboration and planning. I think in this day and age, to just buy you a ring not even your size and expect you to love it and not exchange it is a rather backward attitude. For something that you care about, you should not let him make the decision on his own. To spend this kind of money, you two should make the decision together. Visit or browse VCA together, and teach him what you like. Exchange it for something else, and throughout the process let him know how much you love him, and that because you love him you had to be honest with yourself and with him.

@luv2sparkle I can completely understand where you are coming from and I am certain that it is a good place. Nonetheless, I wholeheartedly disagree with the advice that you have given.
1. This is not a trinket or an inexpensive band that OP should just accept and hope that “it will grow on her” one day. It is a $10k purchase, her only expensive jewel, a jewel that she has been secretly dreaming about for so long. This ring should bring her joy, not in 40years, not in 30 or 20, but in this moment, right now.
2. I would like to think that long gone are the times when a man would be deciding for a woman, even if that decision is an engagement ring, and expect that the woman should simply be happy and content, not have an opinion or feelings about it and just accept the decision that their partner has made on their behalf, without consulting, without an approval.
3. Many women do not wish to have children, so bringing potential grandchildren into this conversation is a little presumptuous.
4. While I completely agree that the little, sweet and sentimental things hold much value, this is a very expensive material purchase, not “a little thing”, especially if OP won’t be able to get a new ring in the future. The life that they will build together and all of the moments that they will share will undoubtedly be the most important. Nonetheless, a bad expensive purchase doesn’t become better with time, so I hope that OP is not afraid to speak up and get what she would really love to wear for a long time.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. I hope that OP will not bury her own feelings, but go window/online shopping with her DF and pick out something more beautiful together. That the two of you picked out another ring together and compromised instead of having one person decide everything for the other, will be more meaningful and even more sweet than what he did.

 

[mrs-b]

I'm trying to stay away from this thread, because 2 posts *should* have said all I have to say on the matter and I should now shut up!

However, having said that....

Here's the thing. Again - people are talking about all the thought he put into it, and the sentiment that goes along with it (the Paris connection) etc. Well, unless they fell in love IN Van Cleef and Arpels, ANY ring bought in Paris would have done the job. In fact, a band made from French cuts would have been even better! VCA, to me, seems like taking the easy choice. The tiniest bit of research would have revealed literally thousands of options more to the OP's taste that cost a fraction of the money he paid. And of course - VCA will ship - so if it had to be that ring from that store - why not just order either online or over the phone? No - this sounds like an impulsive, emotional purchase to me. Impulsive proposal? No - definitely not. Impulsive purchase? Yup.

And - seriously - it's a piece of jewelry and she doesn't like it. She's not rejecting the man or his proposal. If we have to venerate everything our partners do for us, I had best rush out and re-purchase that selection of kitchen utensils my beloved husband bought for me from Target one Christmas a few years back. He, too, thought he had done something very clever! I remember having a "Look at me...no...look at ME! Does this *really* look like a gift that reflects me and the things I enjoy?" sort of talk with him. Nope - clearly not. But he'd been in Target and he needed something for Christmas and, you know how these things go....

In this situation, I wonder if the hotel was near VCA and OP's fiance wandered into the store with love in his heart and dollars in his pocket. That is one dangerous combo and heady stuff. Definitely a decision better made together.

ETA I'm being quiet now. And my sincerest apologies to OP if any of my comments offended her; that was not my intent. He sounds like a very romantic man, and he obviously loves you - and isn't that what we all want in a husband? Best wishes for a very happy future together!

 

[Bonfire]

Gah, each of us can give our opinions and impressions all day long. @Secretdiamondlover I’d love to see some inspiration rings that are more to your taste. I think that would be helpful to show your partner as well.
I hope that you will find resolution, start with a kind, heartfelt, open dialogue. Good luck. Congratulations on your engagement!

 

[kal2021]

This is SO true, @prs! A number of people have talked about the degree of thought put into this ring, but I have to say, buying a ring from SUCH an expensive jewelry house - without consulting your fiancee-to-be first - is kind of nutty. I mean, that is SO impulsive and shows very little thought, in my opinion! And, let's face it, some women will love that style of ring. But a lot more women would dislike it - a lot! It's a LOT of ring - a very specific style - not easy to stack against and a LONG way away from the classical engagement ring. One thing you need to learn in marriage is that you can't make decisions for your spouse. You can't 'assume' you know what they want - without doing any research, or flat our asking, what they'd like in any given situation. Once you start down that slope ("I'm not gonna ask her because I'm sure I know best and this is my right to choose"), you've started down a very slippery slope indeed.

But - aw hell! I'll say it - I'm still gobsmacked about $9,500 US for a ring with .78 ctw!! If you own EVERY other form of jewelry, if you're a collector, if it HAS to be VCA for some reason - ok. But for a one and only ring??? If it were me, I'd be so disappointed to see so much money go to something so small.

(I'm sorry - I still can't pick my jaw up off the floor about that price...)

Ok now I’m second guessing my own advice to suck it up and keep it and get something you love later because Mrs b makes some great points here! I think it might be different if it wasn’t so expensive. But it is a lot of money to throw at something you don’t love especially knowing you might now not be able to afford something you do love.

 

[Polished]

Mrs-b you make some great points but you're speaking from the point of view of someone who has a great deal of expertise with jewelry. You've helped me with a ring more than you'll ever know. Yes the fiance was impulsive but the sentiment was priceless. The same works the other way round. I've witnessed a few cases where the engagement ring was very modest but the way it was given made the whole getting engaged and the ring very special. It's time to get practical with this ring and work out something different with it but sentiment, the way something was done, is actually more important and determining of future happiness.

 

[mrs-b]

Mrs-b you make some great points but you're speaking from the point of view of someone who has a great deal of expertise with jewelry. You've helped me with a ring more than you'll ever know. Yes the fiance was impulsive but the sentiment was priceless. The same works the other way round. I've witnessed a few cases where the engagement ring was very modest but the way it was given made the whole getting engaged and the ring very special. It's time to get practical with this ring and work out something different with it but sentiment, the way something was done, is actually more important and determining of future happiness.

Nope - speaking as someone who got engaged to the man of my dreams with a $450 ring. I know from sentiment!

 

[soxfan]

"Try on the ring again." "Looking despondent." "Talking about what HE thinks of the ring" I I I I...

HE bought this because he no doubt got suckered into it. He didn't know it "was you," the salesperson said "it was you" based on what he told them about "you."

I can't stand the way he is pushing this on you. Be honest now while you can!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Every woman would love for her intended to purchase a ring for her - and be wise and savvy enough to get the exact ring she dreamed of! However, that is usually just a fantasy. We often caution men here against buying anything without the woman's input and there is good reason for that. The surprises quite often fall flat and leave the woman longing for something else AND feeling guilty for hurting his feelings.

I can appreciate all the love and sentiment that went into choosing that ring for her. It would have been perfect if it had been the ring she wanted. While it might sound harsh and terrible, I would not want to be forced into wearing a ring every day that I did not want. Simple as that. I would be as tender as I could be with the explanation but I would definitely want to exchange it for something else if it couldn't be returned. While his feelings might be hurt, his heart would be happy when he saw her face looking at a ring she loved on her finger. In the grand scheme of life, his intention of putting a ring on her finger is far more important IMO than the ring itself. God knows there are plenty of us here who have replaced or added to engagement rings but the love stood solid and that's what really counts.

 

[NorthernIce]

This is my first post here. As a man currently planning an engagement, I must admit I would feel sad if I picked an engagement ring that was not to my partner's liking. However it would completely break my heart if I realised at a later time that she had been wearing a ring she did not like because she did not trust we could have an honest discussion and figure out a solution together.

 

[Gussie]

I know a few Pleasantville southern bells, and it can be tough to read what they really think, until you listen to them gossiping later...

We can't help it. It's the way we're raised. Passive aggressive becomes an art form!

 

[MissGotRocks]

This is my first post here. As a man currently planning an engagement, I must admit I would feel sad if I picked an engagement ring that was not to my partner's liking. However it would completely break my heart if I realised at a later time that she had been wearing a ring she did not like because she did not trust we could have an honest discussion and figure out a solution together.

Welcome to PS! You are a wise and well grounded man! If we can ever help the two of you find the perfect ring for her, please let us know!

 

[SimoneDi]

If she really doesn't like it, I hope she is able to get something she loves. But her SO bought this for her with all the right reasons in mind. Not to force her into something that she doesn't like, or to make her wear his choice. It was done, (it seems to me) completely out of love and very sweet sentiments. It seems like he wanted it to have a special meaning behind it. It didn't sound to me like it was 'a man trying to decide anything for a woman', or that she should be happy and content or not have other feelings. I would not suggest any woman do that.
The OP recognized the happiness and joy she saw on his face, and sometimes in a marriage, the other persons happiness takes the greater precedence than our own. On the basis of a 40 year marriage, I can tell you that makes both of you happy, if you can take turns doing it. It might not work for her in this case, I understand that. Just offering a perspective, that sometimes the things you think you don't like now, in the future end up meaning more to you than you ever thought they could. I don't think this ring falls under the category of 'bad, expensive purchase'. It just wasn't what she had in mind. While I have no idea if the OP would ever even like to have children, I can imagine what a wonderful story it would be-because of the reasons that her future husband chose it.
I understand that she or you might not agree at all, and that is way okay with me. Just something to think about.

@luv2sparkle I agree with you on many levels and can certainly appreciate your advice based on a 40 year marriage. We will all be lucky if we get to enjoy as many! I also agree that marriage is many times about compromises and taking turns in making one another happy. However, based on reading OPs comments, I couldn’t feel but sad for her. She definitely seems to have had a different idea in mind in terms of what her engagement ring will be and what her fiancée chose is not it, unfortunately. Of course that her SO was sweet to pick a ring for her and of course he had all the right intentions, but he, like many other men, didn’t realize that his intented has a very different vision for what she wants to wear.

I personally have had my husband return/exchange multiple items that he picked for me. Did it make him more hesitant to buy things - sure. Did it hurt his feelings in the moment - maybe. But it also taught us something valuable - that his good intentions can be happily merged with my preferences for myself. Open communication is key to a happy marriage and this is a great place to start.

 

[Laila619]

As someone who DID hide her feelings and accepted a ring I didn't like, I do not recommend going down that road. It's a bad idea and leads to resentment, sadness, and wasted money. If I could go back in time and speak up, you bet I would. So please speak up and switch the ring to one you like.

And congratulations on your engagement!!

 

[GeliL]

I come from a family where sentiment matters so much that even if it's the same ring design if it was not THE exact ring given to you at that point in time then another one looking exactly like it would not hold much sentimental value. They are a superstitious bunch but just something to think about since once it is exchanged for a different size it wouldn't even be the "same" ring as the one before, if you only need a reminder of the memory why not go for something you love instead?

I also agree that it was rather impulsive to purchase something so expensive that's not in your size...I know love can be the momentum of these things but I believe a real romantic gesture lies within what you both find romantic. It shouldn't be one sided.

 

[strawrose]

There will be times you will have to break bad news to your husband. It will be scarier than this. Establishing a level of trust at the beginning is a good thing. Is there anything on the website you like?

 

[eapj]

OP - Congratulations on your engagement! Nearly $10k is a LOT of money. We’re not talking $100. If you don’t love it, be honest with your intended. He’ll get over it and you can find something (I hope) that you like. Great advice on this thread

 

[purplesilk]

@Secretdiamondlover
I've been proposed with an ugly diamond band and I spent a couple of years wearing it upside down because the plain portion looked better than the diamond portion...then I decided it wasn't worth the stress of wearing something I was ashamed of and so I bought my self another ring...just to explain you're not alone, many women got proposed by the right man with the wrong ring.
I think you should ask you fiance to exchange the ring; a ring is a just an object, you're not rejecting the proposal and this little "tragedy" may help you both to know how to approach on bigger decisions/problems.
Online items are very limited, but Van Cleef 's stores have tons of splendid rings so don't hesitate to walk in and find a ring you really love; as far as I know the VCA salespeople are very kind and their aim is to get their customers totally happy.

Within you budget I think you can get a 0.5 ct solitaire or a three stone ring with 0.2/0.3/0.2 ct diamonds.

Best to you,
purplesilk.

 

[Secretdiamondlover]

Dear Team (it feels like a team after receiving all of these supportive & well-reasoned messages)

Thank you for all of the guidance. Another twist to the tale unfolded yesterday... I received a call from the hospital saying my partner was with them & being prepped for surgery. As he walked to work, a car lost control turning a corner on the icy road and knocked him down. Miraculously just a smashed hand (requiring the surgery) and shock resulted. When he woke up, very groggy and sore, he took my hand and said, "What are we going to do about this ring?"

I (obviously!) rolled my eyes saying the ring is the very least of our worries right now! But he said the situation has been playing heavily on his mind. It turns out he consulted half his nearest & dearest on whether or not to do a surprise proposal/purchase. They were split 50/50. He explained he was very torn between a joint ring-pick honouring my "feminist/negotiates with terrorists" side, and the old fashioned surprise given my "knows every song in corny musicals” side (not a trait I generally show in public). In the end, he went with the traditional option, hoping I’d love the intention and acknowledged that he’d never get the chance to do anything like this again because all future decisions would be shared. He articulated this in such a matter of fact way, “going forward we’re a unit”; and really deeply believes in fairness and equality, so this is not an overbearing ‘the guy makes the calls’ situation.

He said he had been window shopping for over a year hoping to strike gold with a “traditional yet unconventional” ring, that he began to realise what an overwhelming world of options there are in jewellery, and given how busy our jobs are/challenging arranging to be in the same country at the same time, thought this was a good thing taking one decision off my plate (shame on me for never previously admitting my jewellery fantasies so he never got to grasp this is something I would have liked a say in).

He (rather bashfully, or maybe the morphine talking) said he thought this ring was like train tracks, with each side representing us on our own side of the track but traveling in the same direction, the diamonds representing the magic of doing this together. And because it has no prongs or anything raised, it will be practical for my active lifestyle. With very downcast eyes said that he knew it was a ridiculous amount of money and hopes I won’t murder him.

I do agree the actual purchase was impulsive (and agree he has been swayed by the sales woman – he’s extoling the virtues of VCA like he’s known about them for decades). I don’t think this was a lack of thoughtfulness – the thoughtfulness was just about different aspects than what I (and other PriceScope posters, or sane humans) would prioritise – value for money, researching options online not just strolling past windows, the practicality of purchasing a forever ring than cannot be resized, etc. When I mentioned this, he burst into laughter and said “****, I got this so wrong, now we’ve got one $10K blinged-out finger train tracks to deal with”.

As some posters have rightly guessed, impulsiveness (or what he’d prefer to call spontaneity is definitely a trait of his). Just usually it involves spontaneous road trips and hiking adventures, not $$$ purchases. I half joked/deadly serious that I will be taking control of the finances from now, he laughed again and agreed.

So thank you to everyone for telling me to lay this all on the (post-op) table. We’ve set Saturday 16th as our visit VCA date day. I might choose something else, but I’m fearing my corny side will get the better of me, and eventually I’ll end up with the correct size train tracks. I really appreciate all of the reflections from so many posters, all of this advice needs to be stored in one handy document!

 

[purplesilk]

Great guy!
Great couple, both trying to please the beloved other!
Best wishes to your fiance for a total and speedy recovery and best wishes to you for the VCA visit... please please please don't let the submissive side of you to take controll, choose something you really like, give a chanche to your partner to know your taste.

 

[Gussie]

I feel a lump in my throat; what a great guy! You are going to have a long, beautiful marriage and I am soooo happy for you both! Please keep us up to date on your choice.

 

[rainydaze]

sdl it sounds like you have an incredible guy and a wonderful relationship! I'm so glad his accident didn't result in more serious injuries, and I wish him a speedy recovery! After that, happy shopping!

 

[MissGotRocks]

So sorry about his accident but glad he is going to be OK. Stuff like that can really put things in perspective!

Good luck to you on the VCA day! He is willing to compromise on the ring so go together, get something you both love, and be happy! He sounds like a wonderful guy and I wish you many happy years together!

Come back and update us on your adventure and no matter what, don't lose your sense of humor about it all!!

 

[missy]

Oh my goodness @Secretdiamondlover, I am so sorry about your FI's accident and may his recovery go well. Sounds like you guys are going to work this ring issue out either way. The true gem here is your dh (and the love you share). Sending you good thoughts and best wishes for a bright and happy and loving and blingy future.

 

[tyty333]

Oh my gosh, poor guy! I hope he is up soon and his hand is feeling better in no time. He had been thinking about it and knew he got it wrong.
Courageous of him to admit to it. My suggestion would be to not keep the ring...it will be a reminder of the uncomfortable situation. I say start
over together and get something you both love. When he sees your face light up with the "right" ring he will be happy. It may be a simple solitaire or a
small 3 stone but it will be closer to your wants/wishes. Give it time and you both will be able to laugh at what happen but in the mean time
you will have a ring that suits you. I wish you both the best of luck...you sound like a really caring person and it sounds like you found a
very thoughtful guy!

 

[mrs-b]

Ooooooh - we LIKE him! Speaking as someone who has been happily married for 34 years, your fiance is already WAY ahead of the curve.

I wish him a speedy recovery, and I hope you can find a ring you love. It's a pity things were (to my mind) out of order here; the ring he bought would have made an AWESOME 1st / 5th / 10th anniversary / first child / etc - eternity right hand ring.

If you decide to keep this ring, I'd encourage you to remember that you'll be shopping together the rest of your lives. Most of us here have far nicer jewelry than we EVER thought we'd have, so there's every chance this is exactly the sort of guy who might surprise you one day with a beautiful solitaire as an anniversary gift. So this is not the end of the road and good things happen. I would suggest, tho, that you get a plain band for a wedding ring; most of us here find that to be the most useful piece of jewelry we own.

And lastly - if you go back to VCA, remember to keep your wits about you; there are MANY stores with beautiful, high quality pieces, and VCA is riiiiiight up the end of the price scale.

And for the love of all things holy - if he decides to surprise you again - tell him to come here and let us help him! We'll assist him in getting some serious bling for his buck. Best wishes to you both - you sound like wonderful people.