The unexpected wedding band proposal...

[pearaffair]

I’m just happy that if you DO exchange, it will be at a store that is world-famous and has quality. We’ve seen other guys spend lots of money on crap... and the idea of an exchange is just sad.

I think you have a wonderful relationship, you two already have a sense of humour about this! Keep us posted.

 

[pearaffair]

Ooooooh - we LIKE him! Speaking as someone who has been happily married for 34 years, your fiance is already WAY ahead of the curve.

I wish him a speedy recovery, and I hope you can find a ring you love. It's a pity things were (to my mind) out of order here; the ring he bought would have made an AWESOME 1st / 5th / 10th anniversary / first child / etc - eternity right hand ring.

If you decide to keep this ring, I'd encourage you to remember that you'll be shopping together the rest of your lives. Most of us here have far nicer jewelry than we EVER thought we'd have, so there's every chance this is exactly the sort of guy who might surprise you one day with a beautiful solitaire as an anniversary gift. So this is not the end of the road and good things happen. I would suggest, tho, that you get a plain band for a wedding ring; most of us here find that to be the most useful piece of jewelry we own.

And lastly - if you go back to VCA, remember to keep your wits about you; there are MANY stores with beautiful, high quality pieces, and VCA is riiiiiight up the end of the price scale.

And for the love of all things holy - if he decides to surprise you again - tell him to come here and let us help him! We'll assist him in getting some serious bling for his buck. Best wishes to you both - you sound like wonderful people.

Mrs-B is right! Jewellery is a journey and I am one of those that has ended up with jewellery way nicer than I had ever dreamed. But it certainly didn’t start out that way!

 

[pearaffair]

PS- I’m so glad your guy is mostly ok and I hope he has a speedy recovery!!!

 

[Snowdrop13]

Oh gosh, I hope your boy is ok and recovering well! What a rollercoaster life is.

I only wanted to add that I’m a little bit appalled by the VCA sales tactics, what was the SA thinking, allowing a solitary man to buy a ring that absolutely needs to be the correct size?? Anyway, I’d echo the advice above, keep cool when you go back there and don’t let them talk you into anything!

 

[Bonfire]

This story gets better and better! (I love how you tell it) You are both so darn cute! Wishing him a speedy recovery! If you want, please come back and tell us about your VC date day! All the best to you both.

 

[blueMA]

Your post got me emotional because the post reminded me of a situation that happened to my sweet husband and myself. Such grave situation always puts things in perspective and re-prioritize. I'm so relieved that he's OK! You sound like a real level-headed pragmatic woman, and no doubt your fiance knows he's so lucky to be with a remarkable lady to share the rest of your lives.

I wish you a great luck on the VCA visit day. You said it yourself that the eternity band is NOT sizable, so I do hope you exchange the train wrack (oh wait, track!) ring for something else, if not for the both of you to share - a pair of wedding bands that'll need to be purchased anyhow. White at it, have him try on a diamond studded band and see how he reacts.
You can later source a bigger rock elsewhere for better bang for your buck than getting limited by VCA offerings as your finance opens up.

Please do come back and update us. We're all rooting for you!

 

[whitewave]

Oh boy!!!

Good luck with this. I’m out,.

Y’all have a nice day.

 

[lovedogs]

I'm so happy he's ok, and that you guys are going to VCA together. Good for you to be honest with him, and good for him that he recognizes and validates your feelings about this. The fact that he's willing to admit he didn't quite get this right is awesome. Enjoy all the lovely VCA eye candy, and hopefully you can find something you love!

 

[strawrose]

I hope for a speedy recovery soon!

It’s great that things worked out. I hope you find a lovely ring that suits you and makes you both happy.

 

[JPie]

You guys got this.

 

[bludiva]

You guys got this.

This. However it ends up, this is a story to tell for years to come.

 

[voce]

sorry to hear about his accident, and hope he makes a relatively speedy recovery.

I'm happy that you got to have this candid talk with him. I do love the sentiment and thoughtfulness behind the train tracks.

Even if you get the right sized train tracks from VCA, that's still an improvement over the wrong size train tracks .

Hope he's out of the hospital soon, and hope you have lots of fun at VCA, with your joint shopping!

 

[foxinsox]

Omg you two sound like the loveliest pair and what a total keeper he is to admit his mistake and be totally cool and grownup about fixing it. I loved reading your reply tho not that he got hurt in an accident! I hope he heals up quickly and you both have a really fun day at VCA.

 

[msop04]

METROLOGICA306031586583

We can't help it. It's the way we're raised. Passive aggressive becomes an art form!

#truth

 

[prs]

This is like a fairy tale ending. Your fiance thought about your reaction to the ring, knew he'd made a mistake, and decided he needed to fix it. I agree with @foxinsox he's a keeper!!

I'm not sure I buy into the train track story, I suspect this might just be the male mind trying to justify how he screwed up so badly! Enjoy your visit to VCA and please remember; the main purpose of the ring is to make YOU happy, so pick out something YOU will love for the rest of your life!!

I'm sure as time goes by you both will laugh over this little adventure. Also, looking on the bright side, I bet you'll be the only girl on your block with a Van Cleef & Arpels ring on her finger!!!

 

[Polished]

Thank you for the update. I was thinking there was most probably more nuance to this story than came across in your first posts. Hoping for a speedy recovery for your fiance and a fun shopping expedition for you both. I'd also caution about getting a ring, that symbolizes a special event in your lives that can't be re-sized. Recently, after thirty years of marriage, I had to take all my rings in to be made larger as my knuckles had grown.

 

[beardog]

I understand you were upset, but pushing him in front of a moving vehicle sounds a bit excessive
Sorry just kidding but glad he's ok & that everything worked out

 

[LaylaR]

Best wishes for a swift recovery. And I think you guys are going to be much stronger after this experience. I look forward to further updates in the thread about your final decision on the ring.

 

[luv2sparkle]

@Secretdiamondlover, I am so sorry for his accident and thankful he will be okay. He sounds wonderful, and I am sure you will have a long and happy marriage. If you decide to keep the band, for all his sweet intentions, I have not a single doubt that before too long you will have the ring of your dreams, and one that will be exactly what you had in mind. He sounds like a man who wants to make you happy. I think the ring is beautiful, but it is probably not what I would have picked either, but it comes with a pedigree. That doesn't usually mean anything to me, but in this case it adds to the charm. It may not have come out perfectly, but his intentions were spot on. Congratulations! I hope you come back and tell us how it all worked out.

 

[motownmama]

Speedy recovery to your guy. Please promise you’ll come back with the resolution to this story. I don’t think I can stand not knowing!! Good luck and good health!!!! (A few years ago I fell and broke my pelvis in 4 places; does put things in perspective).

 

[cmd2014]

Sounds like a happy ending (minus the accident of course - wishing him full and speedy recovery there). It's amazing how honest conversations (even about mess ups) can build relationships and make them stronger when both people are willing to listen and set ego aside. He might be a keeper!!!

 

[tigertales]

Dear Lord, is the hand that was hurt the ring finger hand? The irony.

In my thoughts for a quick recovery and a proper mend.

 

[AV_]

Just a note:

If you wold think that 10K is crazy for a mere diamond band, I'd say that it depends where & what:
I'd expect a series like this to be about that on a good day - whether graduated or otherwise WWW); then, diamond bands for either wedding or engagement seem to be a more European thing - which might have colored the VCA Paris attitude too.

Fingers crossed! I am joining the choir here to say that you seem to have the essentials for a great wedding all set & never mind the ring (OK, relatively speaking... ,-)

 

[Tophat1]

Just catching up on this thread now. For what it’s worth, I love the Estelle band. I looked at getting one for my wedding band but the price was just too high to justify for something not resizable (and it was only $8K back then). I also don’t think it paired well with my solitaire but it was spectacular on its own

 

[Dmndsr4evr11]

Dear Team (it feels like a team after receiving all of these supportive & well-reasoned messages)

Thank you for all of the guidance. Another twist to the tale unfolded yesterday... I received a call from the hospital saying my partner was with them & being prepped for surgery. As he walked to work, a car lost control turning a corner on the icy road and knocked him down. Miraculously just a smashed hand (requiring the surgery) and shock resulted. When he woke up, very groggy and sore, he took my hand and said, "What are we going to do about this ring?"

I (obviously!) rolled my eyes saying the ring is the very least of our worries right now! But he said the situation has been playing heavily on his mind. It turns out he consulted half his nearest & dearest on whether or not to do a surprise proposal/purchase. They were split 50/50. He explained he was very torn between a joint ring-pick honouring my "feminist/negotiates with terrorists" side, and the old fashioned surprise given my "knows every song in corny musicals” side (not a trait I generally show in public). In the end, he went with the traditional option, hoping I’d love the intention and acknowledged that he’d never get the chance to do anything like this again because all future decisions would be shared. He articulated this in such a matter of fact way, “going forward we’re a unit”; and really deeply believes in fairness and equality, so this is not an overbearing ‘the guy makes the calls’ situation.

He said he had been window shopping for over a year hoping to strike gold with a “traditional yet unconventional” ring, that he began to realise what an overwhelming world of options there are in jewellery, and given how busy our jobs are/challenging arranging to be in the same country at the same time, thought this was a good thing taking one decision off my plate (shame on me for never previously admitting my jewellery fantasies so he never got to grasp this is something I would have liked a say in).

He (rather bashfully, or maybe the morphine talking) said he thought this ring was like train tracks, with each side representing us on our own side of the track but traveling in the same direction, the diamonds representing the magic of doing this together. And because it has no prongs or anything raised, it will be practical for my active lifestyle. With very downcast eyes said that he knew it was a ridiculous amount of money and hopes I won’t murder him.

I do agree the actual purchase was impulsive (and agree he has been swayed by the sales woman – he’s extoling the virtues of VCA like he’s known about them for decades). I don’t think this was a lack of thoughtfulness – the thoughtfulness was just about different aspects than what I (and other PriceScope posters, or sane humans) would prioritise – value for money, researching options online not just strolling past windows, the practicality of purchasing a forever ring than cannot be resized, etc. When I mentioned this, he burst into laughter and said “****, I got this so wrong, now we’ve got one $10K blinged-out finger train tracks to deal with”.

As some posters have rightly guessed, impulsiveness (or what he’d prefer to call spontaneity is definitely a trait of his). Just usually it involves spontaneous road trips and hiking adventures, not $$$ purchases. I half joked/deadly serious that I will be taking control of the finances from now, he laughed again and agreed.

So thank you to everyone for telling me to lay this all on the (post-op) table. We’ve set Saturday 16th as our visit VCA date day. I might choose something else, but I’m fearing my corny side will get the better of me, and eventually I’ll end up with the correct size train tracks. I really appreciate all of the reflections from so many posters, all of this advice needs to be stored in one handy document!

I’ve been following your story. So very sweet. I’m glad your partner is ok and I wish you the best in picking out THE ring.

 

[xxxxxx]

@Secretdiamondlover Is there a happy ending to your story?