The Official TTC Thread!

[Steel]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

KTF: Thank you for the update. You will heal from this physically and in time, both you and your husband will heal emotionally. I don't presume to understand the pain you have felt this year but I do understand this decision. You are so well respected here you already know that we want this for you and will be wishing you peace and may I say, closure? Again, I am very sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts. Not goodbye, au revoir.

 

[moxie.moo]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

KTF- sad to see you leave, but it sounds like you're being really conscious of what you guys want and what works best for you right now. Wishing you all the best!!!

Steal- Hi! Thanks for checking in. I'm good. Sounds like you're a little down and out. Totally get it. Feeling you on the whatever... Hang in there.

What's Old- I am a late-ish ovulator, and I still get a little anxious by about CD15...16...17...

Modern- How is your 2WW? Hanging in there?

DreamerD- I think we might be in a similar field by your comments... although you're way ahead of me. Thanks for the pointers! Totally had a glass of wine once I felt like you and others gave me permission.

CDN- thanks for the tips. I may give the SI a go next month seeing as how I'm trying to beat fate.

DCG- How are you holding up? Fingers and toes are crossed for you!

Bella- any adoption updates? You could be the next to get good news here! So exciting!

Lili- sorry to hear your news--I'll certainly miss you.

Parrot- sounds like you're in a really frustrating place and you need some good solid support. All my best to you and your DH.

NEL- I feel like we have similar approaches in trying to prep as much as possible. I tried temping a few months ago, but I very rarely sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time, so I failed miserably at it. Plus to be honest, it stressed me out having to think of it first thing every day even when I wasn't TTC--I can't imagine it would be less stressful now, when I'm already thinking about it ALL THE TIME. Hope to see more of you around here!

To anyone I missed, hi! How are YOU doing?

Over here I'm doing my best to keep the crazy at bay in the 2ww. I do not have a good feeling about this month for some reason, but I am still stealthily looking for symptoms whenever I can and then talking myself out of them again. Examples: peeing frequently? It's not the 96 oz. of water I drank, it's fake baby! Really tired and feeling achy? It's not the fact that I'm sleeping 4 hours a night and squeezing in a 5 miler every other morning, it's fake baby! Fake baby is now an omnipresent and beloved member of our household and is often blamed for not emptying the dishwasher. He/She is also already thinking about what to wear to my sister's wedding next fall--she just got engaged 10.10.10. See? It's out of control... I'm trying to not test unless I'm late, but we'll see... It was tough seeing those negatives last month especially because I THOUGHT I was late, and I'm sick of the promises from clearblue easy and first response to tell me 6 days and 14 minutes BEFORE my missed period that I'm most likely not pregnant... (Full disclosure: I almost bought two tests at Target today but then talked myself out of it.) Alright, I'm going to make it a Blockbuster night... Someone please come back with a + stat to make my weekend.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

haha Moxie, your post cracked me up. I am a psych prof now, after waaaaay too long in grad school and on a post doc and moving accross country twice. Totally worth it, but its a long haul. Hang in there if you are in the thick of it now!

KTF I'm glad you are doing better now, wishing you all the best and you heal.

Steal

 

[Steel]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Moxie: I love it- funny post! The 2weekwait sucks big time. ***dust***

OK. I'm posting this but I want you guys to promise me something. DO NOT COMMENT. I don't believe it for a hot second. AF is likely due tomorrow and after the crap that went down last month I need you guys to be calm with me. I believe this is a false positive. I beg of you, do not mention it. I couldn't bear it, really I couldn't. So I'm gonna test again on Sunday if AF hasn't arrived by then. So no mention-ies, please.

ETA: It is half 2 in the morning here and I tested at about midnight. Thankfully DH is working. I'm not going to tell him either - I really won't believe it until AF stays away and can't bear the disappointment. I have been looking up false positives on the net since midnight and am sure this is my progression: From evap lines last month to a teasing false pos this month. Thanks for listening but please do as I ask .

ETA2: But I would love some general PS'er baby dust if it is going spare. ModernS I take what I said earlier back - dust me!

 

[brightlight]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Steal, sending you lots of extra special dust!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I ain't saying nuthin' about nuthin' but I am sending you extra special dust and love. I think you should go find an all night drug store and get a FRER or another more sensitive and convincing test. As for evaps, they are not pink And they take ages and hours to show up. And false positives are very rare. And did I mention I love you? Dust sister.



But I am super duper excited even though you said not to be

 

[CDNinNYC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Ack! I'm really trying not to comment here, Cherry, but I've never seen a pink evap line. Sending you lot's of love and dust, dust, DUST!

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Eeeek, ummmm, so how's the weather where you guys are? Nice, I hope?




This is me, trying not to comment, but sending sticky dust like crazy. To no one in particular.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

KTF--You know I adore you and I think this is such a well-thought-out and healthy decision for you. And I'm a little bit excited that we migh be TTC a the same time.

Steal--I'm keeping my mouth shut, but keeping everything else crossed for you. Eee

 

[CDNinNYC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

^^ LOL It's pretty gusty where I'm at but at least no rain!

So.... Cherry, what exactly is that on the background of your photos? Inquiring minds (me) wanna know.

 

[Steel]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I just want to cry...

But thank you so much Brightlight, Dreamer, CDN, LTP & NEL. CDN- that is the WF calendar in the background. Just quick info, the cheapie test before that one was negative and negative again this morning. That was the only positive I got and while faint was pink. I just knew it was too good to be true....and I felt all fancy with my Clearblue test which I ran out to get this morning. I thought last month was bad but this takes the whole box of biscuits. ETA: I actually am sobbing now - I keep looking at the test to se if it will change its' mind...

Stupid know-it-all test .

Now I'm off to to find a hole to crawl into and die.

 

[modernsparkler]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Oh Steal I am so so sorry, I was hoping that this would be the BFP you and your DH deserve. My heart goes out to you.

 

[moxie.moo]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Steal- sending you a million virtual hugs. What a roller coaster. Thinking of you.

 

[CDNinNYC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Oh Steal, honey, I'm absolutely gutted for you. I'm so sorry.

 

[Laila619]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

(((((Huge hugs Steal)))))



I have so been there, believe me.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Steal, my heart aches for you. I'm so sorry

 

[CatLuver]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm sorry Steal

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm sorry Steal... It is not over until the fat lady sings though. The digital tests need about 100units of the HCG to get a positive whereas the FRER and other dye tests are much more sensitive and can detect as little as 25 units. With a faint pink line it is highly possible you don't have enough HCG for the digital. I am still hopeful for you because that is how I am. But big HUGS, I am so so sorry for your pain.

 

[kennedy]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I agree with Dreamer. I'm mostly a lurker, but I wanted to come here and offer you my support. In case it's at all helpful, here is a quote from peeonastick.com regarding conflicting pregnancy tests:

10. I took several tests and got both negatives and positives. What gives? See FAQ 9 above; there are many variables-- concentration of urine, sensitivity of the test. Since true false positives are pretty rare, if you get at least one positive HPT, you are probably pregnant. Wait a couple of days and test again or try another brand if you are suspect. If you suspect you have a true false positive (meaning you did not conceive and still got a positive), please share with us so we can let other women know about that brand!

 

[WhatsOldisNew]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Oh Steal, my heart is just breaking for you!
But I'm still not convinced that the party is over. So, even if you don't have the strength right now to keep your hopes up, I (and everyone else here) will do it for you. Big hugs for you!

 

[LadyBlue]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Steal, I'm here crossing all my fingers and send you as much dust as I can. This is not over, until AF shows up. I would test again tomorrow again. Hugs your way!!!

 

[charbie]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm also offering up some virtual hugs over here for you, Steal, and sending over some dust as well bc I also believe your fancy schmancy CBE test might not be sensitive enough. I think the plan to test again on Sunday is a good one. Xoxoxoxo

 

[missjaxon]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hello Ladies- I just got home from our wedding/honeymoon and haven't had time to catch up with everyone yet. I just wanted to quickly let Steal know I am sending OODLES of hugs and still holding out hope with every finger and toe crossed for you. There isn't anything I can say to make you feel better but I do know that this journey isn't an easy one in the least and I am hoping for nothing but great things for you. *BIG HUGS* and *DUST DUST DUST x infinity*. Hang in there sweetie!

 

[Po10472]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Blimey Charlie I have a lot to catch up on......

Steal - Sooooooo anything happening with you of late, hmm? Nothing okaaay, moving on............but just to here to say that the CB digical may be too sensitive, wait a few more days then test hon, Kennedy/WOiN/Gaby/Charbie are saying the same thing too. I've got everything crossed for you [[[[UBER-HUGS]]]]

DC- I have everything crossed for you that this is your month and the iui is a winner.

KTF - Hope all went well with your surgery and you're doing ok flower.

RyanClaire - I hear ya about the enthusiasm at the start of the TTC journey and how it starts to wain the longer it goes on. I am in touch with that emotion and find that I'm happy to lurk but reticent to post at times. That shred of hope is enough to keep us all going tho and we're all here together.

Dragonfly - any joy with the acupuncturist?

Lili and ParrotTulip - Taking a break can be cathartic and gives you room to breath a little easier if for a short time and you'll be missed.

CDN - Love the emoticons, really cute and here's hoping you'll get an early Chrimbo pressie this year.

Gaby / WOiN - Hope O comes soon for both of you.

ModernSparkler - When are you testing? Any further symptoms?

Moxie - You've got the 2WW madness and night sweats hon. It happens to us all, this must be what it feels like to be insane. I find I have a split personality during the 2ww, it's like I have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other it's a nightmare. I hope that it goes quickly and has a positive outcome for you.

Dreamer - Have you a plan in mind to lose those lbs? I'm in the process of trying to lose as much weight as I can, so far I've dropped 50lbs so if you need some suggestions for a good plan, let me know.

Bella - I think what you are doing is inspiring and I hope that the process goes smoothly and that you'll have a large brood very soon and we'll be calling you the Jolie-Pitts of PS.

LTP - weather here is pretty meh, typical Autumn (Fall) weather.

MissJaxon - hope you had a wonderful time?

To all the lurkers, hey and if I've missed anyone, apologies.

We had a wonderful trip to Paris, the hotel was amazing and only a 2min walk from the Arc de Triomphe. We did all the touristy things and ate in some lovely restaurants. The first was lunch at Cafe Marly which overlooks the Louvre then on Saturday night we ate in Bon, a Philippe Starck designed restaurant that was Pan-Asian. Both were good but the winner was the fresh bread and croissants in the restaurant for breakfast and the chocolate crepes in the Latin Quarter. We met up with some friends for lunch who were over from Australia who we hadn't seen in years which was lovely. We had such a lovely time enjoying each others company and spending time together. It was fashion week in Paris and I saw Kate Moss and her entourage and Justin Timberlake and David Fincher and other members of the movie Social Networking on the Champs Elysees. It was extremely funny hearing all the French girls shouting Justeen.

Unfortunately af came early last month so I ov'd before going to Paris and af arrived on schedule again this month. So no Paris baba for us sadly. However I'm currently on CD10 and 3rd high so I should be ov'ing in the next 3/4 days me thinks. Since increasing my exercise regimen over the last few months and with the weightloss my cycles are shorter by 2 days for some reason so I'm trying to get used to the timings. I don't normally ov til CD15/16 but I'm certain I'm going to ov earlier this month so DH is on red alert. Hoping and praying for a bfp before the end of the year as it would be amazing to end this tough year on a high. Christmas is going to be sad as it is after DH losing his father suddenly in May so it would be wonderful to have that wee ray of hope and the best present ever to be under the tree.

 

[Steel]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

***crawling out from under her rock****

Short version:
Thanks to all, but BFN .

Long version:
Again thanks to Brightlight, Dreamer, CDN, LTP & NEL for their support yesterday. Also to ModernS, Moxie, Laila, Catluver, Kennedy, WON, Gaby, Charbie, MissJ, PO and to CDN & NEL for coming back to offer yet more support. Plus all you lurkers that wished me well. I cannot tell you ladies how much your comments and thoughts meant to me. Dreamer – I couldn’t have felt more support from you if you were right here with me - bless you for that. After my post I did have a little breakdown yesterday. Thankfully DH was amazing and let me sleep it off; when I awoke there was a full roast chicken dinner on the table. Bless his cotton socks.

So here is the blow by blow:
I really didn’t think anything unusual of this cycle. I have learned my lesson about deciphering twinges, pinches, sore boobs, CF etc and this cycle I really was too cool for school and did not test because I believed that I would not be getting pregnant any time soon; I hadn’t in the months to date so why think this month would be any different? – that was my mantra. After my POAS OPK marathon I believe I O’d on Saturday (CD14) so was expecting AF on Friday/Saturday sometime. When I didn’t even feel a twinge of cramping on Friday night but my (*)(*) felt amazingly pert, very heavy, full and like big fat monkeys had been swinging off my nipples for the day, I broke and POAS, I got the stick I posted earlier: A faint but clear pink faded at the edge line which was there in less than 5 mins (guess), a short time anyway. So I freaked out and posted here. I still felt that it would not happen for me and this must be a false positive so I was going to wait until this morning to buy the digital. But DH was away at work so I had the perfect opportunity to nip out on Saturday, buy the test, get back and pee on it before he got home (I want to surprise him with our BFP if at all posssible) Then it was negative and I was so very sad. I think I had let too many happy pregnant thoughts creep in plus I had only fallen asleep at about 5am – getting up at 8am to get the test. So I was overtired and drained and I lost it a little bit (a lot). DH completely understood and I went to bed. Oh, I had done another cheapie test and there was another faint pink line but it was less than half the density of the 1st test. Today there is nothing- not even a pink whisper.
The first test posted above is on the top and the next test with barely a pink line is below it - the next test had nothing at all:


If I am wrong in my thinking I suppose it would be better to correct me. But I am getting though today believing that there might have been something. If there might have been something then DH and I work . I would at least love that to be true. What do you think ladies; Dreamer can you weigh in on this please?
I have lots of POAS pictures of a deconstructed clearblue digital which I would love to post for reference to others – I’ll see if I can make them small.

So being a hands on girl - I couldnt just throw this €7 strip in the bin. So I took it apart to find the wizard... This is the 'insides' from the front - being the digital display area. Who knew there was a 3v battery in there? Handy!


Same unit from behind = this is the pee strip area, but I pulled off the dipstick and the feeder dip sticks in some hope of hygiene, BTW the test strips are backwards in the unit - I peeled them off and turned them around for the next picture:


These are the two strips that feed from the sample. The darker line is the one which is under the red light. Apparently the 3 lines need to be as dark as the control to be the 3+weeks pregnant and this was a negative (or insignificant - who knows?) If you are looking the sample is to the right of the control and directly above that for the strip above. It is hard to show faint lines on camera...


As of now – 3pm on Sunday I am officially 1/2 days late, but the 10miu line has gone and I believe in my heart there is nothing there – if there was. Oh I read on line (ha) that the clearblue can be as much as 100miu. Anyway, I am just waiting for AF now. I wonder could the delay of AF be simply down to my SI and extra B vitamins – and nothing to do with any HCG?
I feel a little like a fraud – was something there –wasn’t something there. A fraud and very sad. And more sad that I am feeling sorry for myself when you ladies have real losses, I don’t know if I could bear an ectopic or m/s and feel very selfish hogging this support when that is unequivocally the real sadness. Never mind losing a birthed child. .So please don’t think badly of me for being sad – I don’t presume to know what that kind of loss is like.
_______________________________________________________________


MissJ: It is lovely to see you again, and now you are a MRS! I hope you had a wonderful wedding and honeymoon.

PO: Great to have you back here. Well done on your keep fit – I have heard it said that the fitter you are the more fertile you can become so I suppose it is yeah to shorter cycles! Wow on your celeb spotting! I would have been delighted to meet you there never mind Justeeen! I would be like – Oh there is PO! From PS….OMGOMG Glad you guys had a nice time- well deserved. I am sorry about your and your husbands loss, it would be an extra special blessing to have a bun in the over at your house this Christmas. I hope you get it. Happy egg hunting.

Please don’t miss KTF’s update which was on the bottom of page 501; I don’t want it to get lost in all my space hogging.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I dunno, Steal, two positives means something. I am still hopeful until AF comes. If she comes But time will tell. Chin up missy. Life throws you all sorts of curves and whether you are pg or not this month, the feelings you have now will be gone in a few moments, hours, or days, and you will feel something new! Hopefully better. This too shall pass, that is my mantra when I am freaking out.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

These are the two strips that feed from the sample. The darker line is the one which is under the red light. Apparently the 3 lines need to be as dark as the control to be the 3+weeks pregnant and this was a negative (or insignificant - who knows?) If you are looking the sample is to the right of the control and directly above that for the strip above. It is hard to show faint lines on camera...

And here the two test lines look a little blue too... what does that mean?

 

[moxie.moo]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm with Dreamer--it's not over until it's over. I have everything crossed for you. And if you have leftovers of that roast chicken, I would love some.

 

[Steel]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Dreamer: Means something = there might have been something ? As I said I am just happy now to think that one of DH's swimmers at least dry humped an egg; even if it didn't go further than that or was abnormal. About the blue lines - yeah they were there but after a very long t'internet search it seems that clearblue would have you believe that, that could be LH or Hcg. Not that that makes sense but the bottom line is that they do not want nuts taking apart the test and trying to read lines - like that worked .

Moxie: Thank you for the support! Sorry, we had leftovers tonight. White bread from the bread-maker; chicken and stuffing sandwiches . But they didn't mean anything and I thought of you the whole time.....

AFM: Still no AF: almost 8pm. CM is not tinged pink. Cramping like Af wants to come though.... We will see.
What I learned last month was to ignore all symptoms of except of course for a child emerging from my lady parts - which is unlikely.
This month I think I am going to throw away all remaining preggo pee sticks - they are the work of the devil.

 

[moxie.moo]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Steal, you harlot. My mouth is now watering... Grrr.... Do you think that thinking about me the whole time makes your betrayal feel better? Wrong, so wrong.

In all seriousness, it sounds to me like you might still be in the game this month... Perhaps your DH's sperm did more than dry-hump the egg (which made me snort, p.s.) Only time will tell. But if you're anything like me you're thinking "Screw you, time. And the horse you rode in on."

I know it's not any comfort necessarily, but I'm over here in the same boat as you with cramping and whatnot and working hard to not over-think the twinges and inevitably misleading signs that seem to pop up. Let's do our best to distract ourselves in the interim... Perhaps with a ritual burning of sticks. Although that could lead to noxious fumes which may hurt fake baby...

E.T. correct my HORRENDOUS GRAMMAR. OMG, I might be losing my mind with the waiting, seeing as how I can't use a contraction properly.