The Gift of Tact

[Julian]

The gift of tact -- something my cousin TOTALLY lacks.

This weekend he came to visit. We are not close, but he stayed at my house. When he saw my engagement ring he asked if it were fake! When I said no, he grabbed my hand and yanked it up to his eye-level, rotating my hand to the side and staring through the prongs for a very uncomfortable 60 seconds or more. Trust me, it felt like an eternity. And he also made other really rude comments to me as well.

What is his problem?!?!! What is he looking for -- inclusions? He's not going to find any without a loupe.

And this is the weird thing. He's not the only one who does this. Lots of ring admirers grab my hand and turn it to the side, then peer through the prongs VERY closely.

Can anyone clue me into this weird behavior so I can be more understanding and more gracious about it? Some people are so snarky!!!! Only the ones who ask if it's fake do this. Are they looking for flaws or is the side view of my diamond THAT interesting?

Can anyone demystify this?

 

[alexah]

Over a month later & folks are still grabbing your hand?

Your ring must be stunning!

LINK to previous post
...would luv to see pics!

 

[Julian]

Hey Alexah!

It's nice, but not as spectacular as some I've seen on this board!

Maybe I just hang out with people who like to grab shiny things, I don't know!

I love your ring, too! But can you explain the peering through the diamond phenomenon? Do you get that, too?

I promise to post pics once I get around to buying a digital camera or working a scanner properly. Thanks again for the kind words!

 

[headlight]

You don't need to become "more understanding and gracious" because they are plain RUDE!

 

[alexah]

----------------
On 10/24/2004 6:48:17 PM Julian wrote:

But can you explain the peering through the diamond phenomenon? Do you get that, too?
----------------

Well.... no. But I work in NYC and nobody grabs anything of mine unless I wanna be grabbed

I think the gals are maybe used to seeing larger stones & play it cool...?
I actually got more oogling from the guys who'd recently bought e-rings - they seemed v interested & impressed

 

[Julian]

Alexah -- this is true! Hahahaha. Grabbing strangers' hands seems dangerous in New York! Though, I'm sure your ring is very impressive even by NYC standards.

Headlight -- your setting is what I aspire to own one day!

I love the lovely, classic RB set off by trillions!

Where did you come up with that design? I sent a picture of your ring to my jeweler to see if he can re-create it for me (but on a smaller scale for my FH's budget!)

I also love Jennifer's ring set! Decisions, decisions.

I'll bet you ladies have to fend off more hand-grabbing than I do.

Do you know why they peer through the side of the diamond? It is the oddest phenomena.

 

[headlight]

You are so sweet! My jeweler had suggested it and my DH liked it and I was hesitant at first but saw a completed piece for another customer and loved it.


Yes, I love Jennifer's, too -- would like to have one of each!


I don't understand the side view fascination -- very bizarre. But, the way my ring was made, you can't even really see anything from the side view on mine!

 

[canuk-gal]

----------------
On 10/24/2004 7:13:40 PM Julian wrote:











Do you know why they peer through the side of the diamond? It is the oddest phenomena.

Myopia perhaps??

I once had a boss who, in front of a group of my peers, asked me if my wedding rings were "real" to which I replied, "well they arn't a figment of your imagination,, but if you are interested in whether or not they are genuine...sadly they are." After that she did the hand grabby thingie again, but after time her attention to the same waned. People!!!!

cheers

Sharon

 

[Kaili]

Julian,


After reading your two posts on rude, rude, rude people... I'm curious to see this stunner, so I can drool (not be rude)

do you have it posted on the boards, so we can admire?

 

[treysar]

First of all, I love the word "snarky" it's just A PERFECT way to describe some people!

I have had the same thing happen to me, people turn the ring sideways, look at it from all angles - it's so weird, I wanna say, GET OFF! But I can't, as they are usually related to my FI, or something like that.

Weirdos.

 

[ame]

WOW, that's not really tactless that's ignorant and rude!

*I* am tactless

but I don't ever go grabbing at anyones hand and check it out.

 

[Diamond Angel]

when it comes to the guys they are probably just stealth-groping you...

 

[rosy]

----------------
On 10/24/2004 5:01:30 PM Julian wrote:

The gift of tact -- something my cousin TOTALLY lacks.

This weekend he came to visit. We are not close, but he stayed at my house. When he saw my engagement ring he asked if it were fake! When I said no, he grabbed my hand and yanked it up to his eye-level, rotating my hand to the side and staring through the prongs for a very uncomfortable 60 seconds or more. Trust me, it felt like an eternity. And he also made other really rude comments to me as well.

What is his problem?!?!! What is he looking for -- inclusions? He's not going to find any without a loupe.

And this is the weird thing. He's not the only one who does this. Lots of ring admirers grab my hand and turn it to the side, then peer through the prongs VERY closely.

Can anyone clue me into this weird behavior so I can be more understanding and more gracious about it? Some people are so snarky!!!! Only the ones who ask if it's fake do this. Are they looking for flaws or is the side view of my diamond THAT interesting?

Can anyone demystify this?----------------

Hi,
May I ask where you purchased your ring from & what size it is? I too am looking to buy a hearts & arrows but do not want this type of reaction from people.
Thanks

 

[Julian]

Sure, but you can get an even prettier stone than mine. Now that I'm more educated on diamonds, thanks to PriceScope... I have to say my dear man overpaid for qualities my eye is never going to appreciate.

My fiancé bought my ring from Tiffany & Co. -- it is an E, VVS2 RB. But I'd be happy with an F, eye-clean SI2 because my friend has one from 8* and it is just as pretty. And I'm sure her FH didn't get cleaned out for the blue box.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my e-ring. It's spectacular. I'm just saying you can get a comparable, or even superior stone without paying the 300% mark-up! I'm a lucky girl, but next time I'm sending my FH to PS vendors. Happy hunting!

 

[headlight]

JULIAN--


Now I know EXACTLY what your cousin was doing...


He was looking to see if you ring was, in fact, a genuine Tiffany!


I had a lady at the estate jeweler Kentshire Galleries locale inside Bergdorff Goodman do that to me when I had my ring in a 6-prong Stuller solitaire. She saw my 3+ carat stone from the top view but then practically herniated a disk trying to see the SIDE view to ascertain if it was the "real deal" (of which it was not).


I subsequently re-set my stone in a three-stone mounting with trills as pictured in my avatar.


I GUARANTEE you that was what he was doing!


Wow -- a T & Co E color, VVS stone -- you are one LUCKY girl!!!


Well, my father-in-law's wife (the one with the 5 carat diamond!) always told me, "Living well is the best revenge!"

 

[Julian]

That is hilarious, Headlight!

And by the way -- your ring is stunning.

Stop making me drool at work!

The funny thing is, I don't tell *anyone* it's a Tiffany unless they ask. Of course on PS, we're all fascinated with diamonds so it's the norm here to spout stats.

But in the offline world, I don't tell anyone where it's from. It's kind of like not telling people you overpaid for a commodity. Each diamond is unique, but let's face it. They're a commodity!

 

[Iceman]

He was use to seeing the quality at WalMart. Yours looked so nice it had to be fake to him

Maybe to him if the diamond does not look like fried monkey spit its not a real diamond?

Enjoy the attention of a nice diamond.

The Iceman

 

[Diamond Angel]

(sigh)...still waiting for mine.

 

[NYCbride]

I get the same comments about mine also, people are so rude. I was at the post office signing something and the woman working there said, "OMG, is that real", Im like yesss... it's my enagament ring, very annoying

Oh and then I went w/ my mother to get her nails done and her manicurist kept saying, "Oh I love it, I love it" then she proceeded to grab my hand and stare right into it very closely and inspecting it. That is so rude!!!!!