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The deadline has come and gone

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Erin

Ideal_Rock
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Nov 24, 2004
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2,783
So boyfriend and I celebrated two years of dating last night and we went back to our first date location and had a blast. The alcohol was flowing so I said, You remember that tonight is your deadline? He says, And I thought you might forget that. yeah right

I shouldn''t have been drinking because he said all these wonderful things about me and then said I''ve had three things to decide.
1. Can I learn to love again after my wife left me - yes
2. Can my two children accept a new woman in their lives - it appears they can
3. Am I willing and able to have a child

This is where I should have paid attention more. Of course he was drinking, too so it may have been half his fault for talking in circles but it was something about priorities and what someone really wants out of life when they''re in love and sometimes it isn''t just about whether you love someone but also about sharing the same goals and wanting the same things blah blah blah.

In conclusion he asked for 72 more hours. I asked him, what on earth could change between now and then? He only repeated, I need 3 more days.

 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
Heart to hearts are never good to have while inebriated! 72 hours is really, really, really soon though so I''m sending lots of dust your way and looking forward to reading your posts on Friday!!!!
 

EyeElle

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 24, 2008
Messages
251
I know all to well what you are going through. Its so hard to deal and understand. But I do have to say that 3 days is a good amount, better then 3 months or 3 years! He just needs last minute thoughts before it happens, think of his life and make sure things are ready for the proposal and to share your life together.
By the sound of it, it seems to be positive, and as hard as it may be, try not to let it consume you. Wishing you all the best!
For as long as I live, I will never understand the male mind lol
 

Erin

Ideal_Rock
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Nov 24, 2004
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2,783
I know but the turkey left the third question open ended, which is no surprise because we''ve known all along this was our point of contention. He also said he understands that sometimes love isn''t enough - you have to want the same things.

Oh my mind is going back and forth not knowing if he even leaned one way or another. I''m not going to think about it much because 3 days, well, 48 hours will come soon enough. Right? Won''t it?
 

NewEnglandLady

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2007
Messages
6,299
My gut tells me he needs the 72 hours for logistic reasons because he seems like too good of a man to actually NEED the 72 hours to decide, you know? The fact that he is mature enough to know that love is not enough and can clearly articulate exactly what your needs are makes me believe that this is something he''s give a lot of thought to and he isn''t just dragging his feet for another few days. I''m really excited for both of you and am keeping my fingers crossed for you over the next couple of days!
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
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11,534
Maybe he''s preggers?? Waiting for results?? Oh okay ... bad joke. Hum. Might he be checking on his fertility status? i.e. -- "able"? Or maybe it really is just a logistics thing where he was waiting for the ring or wanted to propose on a weekend or something.

DUST DUST DUST (if this is what you want ... is it?)
 

CrookedRock

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
1,738
Date: 3/4/2009 6:16:23 PM
Author: decodelighted
Maybe he''s preggers?? Waiting for results?? Oh okay ... bad joke. Hum. Might he be checking on his fertility status? i.e. -- ''able''? Or maybe it really is just a logistics thing where he was waiting for the ring or wanted to propose on a weekend or something.

DUST DUST DUST (if this is what you want ... is it?)
Hysterical!
I was thinking the same thing.. Maybe he''s trying to throw you off. Hopefully you''ll really know the deal when the 72 is up. If I were you I would decide what you really want either way. What if he comes back and says he needs more time. You have to decide for you. But I''m pulling for the best for ya!
 

freudianflip

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2009
Messages
91
Starset- I also thought maybe the 3-additional-days request was for logistical purposes, i.e. finalizing the ring/proposal. I mean, 72 hours is such a specific request....

Either way, in 3 days you''ll have your answer, and I truly hope it is the answer that you desire!
Keep us posted!

*DUST*

-FF
 

neatfreak

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2007
Messages
14,167
It has to be a proposal/ring logistical thing...I can''t see any other reason why he would postpone it otherwise! Lots of dust!!
 

Sharon101

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
919
Good luck. I think he is really unsettled by the idea of another child. Men can be like that especially when they already have what they think is enough children to take care of.

My own husband was against a third so I know what you are feeling.

I hope he sees the light and that you are worth this happy sacrifice, which will end up a joy for him also.
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
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1,247
Date: 3/4/2009 6:10:27 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
My gut tells me he needs the 72 hours for logistic reasons because he seems like too good of a man to actually NEED the 72 hours to decide, you know? The fact that he is mature enough to know that love is not enough and can clearly articulate exactly what your needs are makes me believe that this is something he''s give a lot of thought to and he isn''t just dragging his feet for another few days. I''m really excited for both of you and am keeping my fingers crossed for you over the next couple of days!
Ditto to this. By reading your post, it never even crossed my mind that he needed 72 hours to come up with a negative decision...
 

icekid

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 17, 2004
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7,470
Date: 3/4/2009 7:13:27 PM
Author: neatfreak
It has to be a proposal/ring logistical thing...I can''t see any other reason why he would postpone it otherwise! Lots of dust!!
I hope so! You deserve all of the best, Erin!
 

Erin

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
Messages
2,783
Thanks for all the dust Ladies!!! I''m slathering myself with every particle

You know, another thing I thought of, damn I shouldn''t have had that third glass of wine last night... He mentioned that we''d be having a fun weekend with the kick off of watching Illini playing Penn State Thursday (we''re enthusiastic Big Ten fans) and the whole weekend ahead of us to...to... I wish I could remember what word he used. It was like ''party'' but not in the sense of you know, drinking. I just remember thinking, well good, he plans on having a fun weekend which would mean, still together and in a good mood.

At the ripe age of 33 I''m excited about the possibility of this finally happening in my life. But I''m also cautious enough to realize that life is what it is and it can''t be forced.

Sigh. Cheers!
 

Definitely. Maybe

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Messages
582
Just from that last comment alone I would definitely say it''s gotta be happening this weekend. He is looking into the future (and with you still in it). Hopefully he was just trying to throw you off.

Even if it doesn''t I think it is great that he is really being logical about this and really thinking it through and not just getting it done by the ''deadline.'' Ya know?

I''ll be sure to be sending tons of **Dust** your way, just in case!!
 

Clairitek

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
4,881
Date: 3/4/2009 7:13:27 PM
Author: neatfreak
It has to be a proposal/ring logistical thing...I can''t see any other reason why he would postpone it otherwise! Lots of dust!!
I agree with Neat and others who think its logisitical. Dust for you!
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
72 more hours.

and then a ring?

THAT''s COOL!

DUST DUST DUST!!!!!!!
 

misskitty

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
1,691
Date: 3/4/2009 7:13:27 PM
Author: neatfreak
It has to be a proposal/ring logistical thing...I can''t see any other reason why he would postpone it otherwise! Lots of dust!!
Count me in on this boat. Lots and lots of dust to you, and please keep us posted!!
 

ckrickett

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 26, 2008
Messages
5,348
Logistical seems to be the popular idea, and I coudln''t agree more.
You get LOADS of dust from me!
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
Starset, just wanted to let you know I''m sending truck loads of dust your way.
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,673
He may be buying the ring in the next couple of days, and proposing over the weekend! Good luck hun!
 

Erin

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
Messages
2,783
You gotta love horoscopes

Your Lovescope - Tomorrow, March 6, 2009
Someone may be trying to get you to see something about a relationship that you don''t want to. The astral configuration means you are swinging between despair and blind faith, and yet what you need right now, more than anything, is to confront what is before you, and not be afraid to understand what is really happening. Have courage, as this is the path to true healing.
 

janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
3,689
SP: I''ve been following your story here and there, and hope this is it for you! It certainly seems like he is smitten with you and you guys had a great time, which speaks volumes (rather than having a night filled with tensions and arguments about missed deadlines).

Do you think your BF remembers everything from last night? Was he coy when he threw out that 72 hr deadline? This is pretty exciting and I can''t wait to find out the conclusion, keep us posted!!

PS the kids question is a big one though...if he didn''t not say "no", I''m guessing he''s scared about the prospect (based on his past hurt), but open to it. Which is huge in my book.
 

Italiahaircolor

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,184
Thats a very specific request...I hope it all works out...dust, dust, dust
 

gwendolyn

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 4, 2007
Messages
6,770
Date: 3/4/2009 7:13:27 PM
Author: neatfreak
It has to be a proposal/ring logistical thing...I can''t see any other reason why he would postpone it otherwise! Lots of dust!!
Ditto, especially by such a specific amount of time! Tons and TONS of dust, SP!!!
 

Erin

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
Messages
2,783
Okay, the only thing he has said so far is that he wants to go hang out in his hometown Saturday night (which is only 45 mintues away) so he was looking online at what bands were playing at our favorite establishment. This isn''t out of the ordinary because we try to go there once a month. So at least that''s one day past tomorrow night...
 

neatfreak

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2007
Messages
14,167
Date: 3/5/2009 2:55:50 PM
Author: Starset Princess
Okay, the only thing he has said so far is that he wants to go hang out in his hometown Saturday night (which is only 45 mintues away) so he was looking online at what bands were playing at our favorite establishment. This isn''t out of the ordinary because we try to go there once a month. So at least that''s one day past tomorrow night...
Engagement party maybe?
 

Still_Waiting

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2008
Messages
612
Well, of course I don''t know your BF at all, but I hope it''s because he''s still waiting for the ring!!! So, I send you lots and lots of ***dust***!!!
 

Erin

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
Messages
2,783
So last night as we''re crawling into bed he asks, what do you want to do tomorrow night? I replied, I don''t know, I''m more interested in why you needed 72 hours. He says, 72 hours? What are you talking about? I said, You don''t remember saying you needed 72 hours Tuesday? He said, Did I say that on the way home in the car? Yes.

Oh, well. I don''t remember saying that.

That''s either horrible lying or the signal to me that he''s not taking this deadline seriously. Okay, no more speculation. It''s only a few hours away.
 
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