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Uh oh. I'm so photo-shy that I even managed to keep my photo off my firm's website. Shh.Date: 7/22/2008 11:55:15 PM
Author: Linda W
Yes she is TG, I also saw that picture. Harriet is adorable!!!!!!!! We remember that picture dear Harriet.She is tiny and petite. OK Harriet, I spilled the beans on you. tee hee
Linda
I wish I were petite, but I'm not. That photo was misleading because FI is 6"2.
TravelingGal
Super_Ideal_Rock
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There are some on the mommy thread in the Family forum (which are easier to find than the ones on the preggo thread, if only because the mommy thread is shorter).
Hm..not sure if I can pinky swear that you WILL be fine, but speaking only for myself, I was seriously ill at the thought of being tied down forever and once the ceremony was over, I was fine. Been fine ever since. Probably a lot like the way guys are (most seem cool with it once it''s done and over with...it''s the engagement part that is the problem.)
purrfectpear
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You could always take a few of us along you know. Purely in the interest of keeping you calm, I volunteer to take one for the team
Nice try, but I wouldn''t be surprised if my ILs tried to come along.Date: 7/23/2008 7:43:54 PM
Author: purrfectpear
You could always take a few of us along you know. Purely in the interest of keeping you calm, I volunteer to take one for the team
diamondfan
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Harriet dear, when can you safely travel and when is your leave til at work?
I would make sure my health is under control before my honeymoon, or you won''t be able to eat all of that delicious food and wine on your trip!
Tell the in laws your cruise is a family free zone. I would not allow that, I know you are joking but my in laws would have done that if we had let them.
I would make sure my health is under control before my honeymoon, or you won''t be able to eat all of that delicious food and wine on your trip!
Tell the in laws your cruise is a family free zone. I would not allow that, I know you are joking but my in laws would have done that if we had let them.
diamondfan
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Well, do you feel better? That is usually a good indication. I know three people who just had abdominal cat scans and endoscopies. The stomach stuff is rampant. I need to get to the bottom of mine. I am sure you are on the mend.
Beth
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It may be time for an intervention at the Day Spa Ladies.
Harriet....you can get through this. It is a very scary time but it is worth it in the end. I think you need a treat. I may have to book you in myself. Seriously - get a four handed massage and a hydrating body wrap, a microdermabrasion facial, mani pedi, and a deep conditioning treatement for your hair with a very light trim, and whatever waxing etc you may want done. Sit in the sauna and drink peppermint tea. Don't make me have to fly across the world to straighten you out. Then you get on with what needs getting done - pronto which includes venue and photographer and a cake. And also a man to come over and do your hair at home the day of. And make sure he is gay. lol. Preferably named Pierre. You may not go to your new husband in drip dried hair. That is a spanking offense. Break the to do's down into manageable tasks and schedule when to do them. Try to accomplish something each day and that will give you something to focus on rather than this overwhelming fear of the unknown. It is okay to be a scardey cat. It is actually normal and a good sign. You are taking this seriously.
I adore you and am here if you need to scream or want some phone calls made or a particular flower found etc. I've got your back and I owe you one from when you helped me last Christmas and I pay my social debts..... ANYTHING....... Beth
Harriet....you can get through this. It is a very scary time but it is worth it in the end. I think you need a treat. I may have to book you in myself. Seriously - get a four handed massage and a hydrating body wrap, a microdermabrasion facial, mani pedi, and a deep conditioning treatement for your hair with a very light trim, and whatever waxing etc you may want done. Sit in the sauna and drink peppermint tea. Don't make me have to fly across the world to straighten you out. Then you get on with what needs getting done - pronto which includes venue and photographer and a cake. And also a man to come over and do your hair at home the day of. And make sure he is gay. lol. Preferably named Pierre. You may not go to your new husband in drip dried hair. That is a spanking offense. Break the to do's down into manageable tasks and schedule when to do them. Try to accomplish something each day and that will give you something to focus on rather than this overwhelming fear of the unknown. It is okay to be a scardey cat. It is actually normal and a good sign. You are taking this seriously.
I adore you and am here if you need to scream or want some phone calls made or a particular flower found etc. I've got your back and I owe you one from when you helped me last Christmas and I pay my social debts..... ANYTHING....... Beth
Oh Beth, you darling.
I know I can get through this. It''s this darn weekend with the ILs that I have to survive. I hope that doesn''t cause a rupture between FI and myself.
I had a hair cut yesterday. I''m off for a facial and massage today. I might get my hair highlighted next week. Plus a mani-pedi. You know what would be even better? A week down under!
Ugh. No cake, officiant, photorapher or venue yet.
No debt, ok? I did what I did because I wanted to.
I''m venting yet again. Please excuse me.
We just realised that MIL has shown next to no interest in our wedding (and this is while we were on good terms). All she''s asked is whether her siblings were invited, to book them a hotel, and for the restaurant''s website. She''s not asked if we were ready (my mum has been calling to see if we are, emotionally and logistically); what we would be wearing; if she could help; what we would like as a wedding gift; if they could contribute financially (we don''t need them to, but the gesture would have been nice). Even though our wedding has been whittled down to a quiet ceremony, they''ve not suggested flying 2 hours to see their son get married either! FI is furious as well.
I don''t think it''d be healthy for me to deal with them this close to our wedding. FI agrees, but has not offered to let me off the hook for this weekend.
I love him dearly (and vice versa), but we shouldn''t be dealing with their crap two weeks before our big day.
We just realised that MIL has shown next to no interest in our wedding (and this is while we were on good terms). All she''s asked is whether her siblings were invited, to book them a hotel, and for the restaurant''s website. She''s not asked if we were ready (my mum has been calling to see if we are, emotionally and logistically); what we would be wearing; if she could help; what we would like as a wedding gift; if they could contribute financially (we don''t need them to, but the gesture would have been nice). Even though our wedding has been whittled down to a quiet ceremony, they''ve not suggested flying 2 hours to see their son get married either! FI is furious as well.
I don''t think it''d be healthy for me to deal with them this close to our wedding. FI agrees, but has not offered to let me off the hook for this weekend.
I love him dearly (and vice versa), but we shouldn''t be dealing with their crap two weeks before our big day.
diamondfan
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Harriet, I need to say a couple of things to you so you might be able to put this into perspective. I get how you feel, trust me no one despised their in laws more than me, and my mother in law is just beyond awful.
You are 33 years old and have the finances to have this wedding. At 33, knowing that you two are fine financially, I would not expect nor want my in laws, whom I dislike, to have any financial involvement in my wedding. That is a path I would not go down, because you are opening yourself to more problems. Even if you know you do not want the money, or would not take it, it is just not needed for them to ask. Let them give you a lovely gift for your new home or whatnot, but other than that they should keep their wallets away from your wedding.
Also, you do not want them there. For hubby''s sake I get it, but you are having a small intimate ceremony and I would say that you will be so much happier to not have them that I think it is best to be thankful and move on from it.
I might say also that I personally would have found it odd for our parents to be asking if we were emotionally ready to wed, especially at 33 and 6 years together. To me, you are adults, you live together, and have made a decision to spend your lives together. Just not helpful to me to have that input, but maybe you feel differently. It would seem a bit provocative to me.
They will NEVER be what you want them to be. You must, for your sake, your hubby to be''s sake, and your marriage, accept this. Deal with them as minimally as you can, and ignore the rest. If you do not want to go see them and feel this is not a good time, do not go. You are on a medical leave from work. This visit, so close to your wedding, is inappropriate if you are unwell. All you should be doing is getting well. It seems like your reflux is pretty severe to warrant a leave and I would make sure that anything that stressed me was eliminated if possible. There should be no more pressure or unreasonable expectations on you. If your hubby to be wants to go, let him. End of story.
You are 33 years old and have the finances to have this wedding. At 33, knowing that you two are fine financially, I would not expect nor want my in laws, whom I dislike, to have any financial involvement in my wedding. That is a path I would not go down, because you are opening yourself to more problems. Even if you know you do not want the money, or would not take it, it is just not needed for them to ask. Let them give you a lovely gift for your new home or whatnot, but other than that they should keep their wallets away from your wedding.
Also, you do not want them there. For hubby''s sake I get it, but you are having a small intimate ceremony and I would say that you will be so much happier to not have them that I think it is best to be thankful and move on from it.
I might say also that I personally would have found it odd for our parents to be asking if we were emotionally ready to wed, especially at 33 and 6 years together. To me, you are adults, you live together, and have made a decision to spend your lives together. Just not helpful to me to have that input, but maybe you feel differently. It would seem a bit provocative to me.
They will NEVER be what you want them to be. You must, for your sake, your hubby to be''s sake, and your marriage, accept this. Deal with them as minimally as you can, and ignore the rest. If you do not want to go see them and feel this is not a good time, do not go. You are on a medical leave from work. This visit, so close to your wedding, is inappropriate if you are unwell. All you should be doing is getting well. It seems like your reflux is pretty severe to warrant a leave and I would make sure that anything that stressed me was eliminated if possible. There should be no more pressure or unreasonable expectations on you. If your hubby to be wants to go, let him. End of story.
I just spoke with my doctor. He said that, because of the stress it''s causing me, I should NOT go. I reported that to FI. FI said that the consequences to him of my not going are worse than those to me!Date: 7/24/2008 3:22:59 PM
Author: Ellen
Then simply ask him nicely to ''let you off the hook''.
purrfectpear
Ideal_Rock
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What a bunch of un-needed drama. I''m so bummed for you that this can''t just be a time to chill and look forward to the wedding
I agree with a lot of what Diamondfan said, but I do think it strange that they haven''t even mentioned "what would you two like for a wedding gift". It''s just rudeness and total self absorbtion on their part IMO.
Do I understand that they are not planning on attending their son''s wedding
If that''s the case, keep your buns home and tell FI that you shouldn''t even have to discuss why you have no familial obligation to them. They are the ones who tuned you both out and are ignoring this significant event.
Besides, not only are you stressed, but you DO have planning to do (and you''d better get moving on it kiddo).
I agree with a lot of what Diamondfan said, but I do think it strange that they haven''t even mentioned "what would you two like for a wedding gift". It''s just rudeness and total self absorbtion on their part IMO.
Do I understand that they are not planning on attending their son''s wedding
If that''s the case, keep your buns home and tell FI that you shouldn''t even have to discuss why you have no familial obligation to them. They are the ones who tuned you both out and are ignoring this significant event.
Besides, not only are you stressed, but you DO have planning to do (and you''d better get moving on it kiddo).
Thanks for the sympathy, purr (may I call you that?).Date: 7/24/2008 3:59:30 PM
Author: purrfectpear
What a bunch of un-needed drama. I''m so bummed for you that this can''t just be a time to chill and look forward to the wedding
I agree with a lot of what Diamondfan said, but I do think it strange that they haven''t even mentioned ''what would you two like for a wedding gift''. It''s just rudeness and total self absorbtion on their part IMO.
Do I understand that they are not planning on attending their son''s wedding
If that''s the case, keep your buns home and tell FI that you shouldn''t even have to discuss why you have no familial obligation to them. They are the ones who tuned you both out and are ignoring this significant event.
Besides, not only are you stressed, but you DO have planning to do (and you''d better get moving on it kiddo).
Is that the "selfishness" of which he stand accused?
You understand correctly. Now that FIL had that surgery, he can''t. But, they weren''t planning too even before that! Like Caroline said, it''s for the better!
Planning? What''s that?
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