The April LIW small talk thread

[misskitty]

LP, any luck with that sweater today?

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 4/2/2009 6:53:54 PM
Author: misskitty
LP, any luck with that sweater today?

It''s out of the wash, but I haven''t looked yet. I''ve been too preoccupied with the house!

 

[somegirl932]

Two pieces of news for anyone interested...

I just finalized my topic for my senior thesis! (paperwork needs to be turned in, but that''s it) At my school, undergrad CS majors have to do a final senior project, and writing a thesis is the "least" time-consuming choice. It probably takes the most work, but since it''s a "work on your own time" sort of thing, it can be finished in one semester, and I want to graduate!

Other piece of news is that the boy is continuing to be suspicious and drop hints, and I''m even more sure that he''s at least ordered the ring, though I don''t think it''s in yet.

 

[Bia]

Date: 4/3/2009 1:42:33 PM
Author: somegirl932
Two pieces of news for anyone interested...

I just finalized my topic for my senior thesis! (paperwork needs to be turned in, but that''s it) At my school, undergrad CS majors have to do a final senior project, and writing a thesis is the ''least'' time-consuming choice. It probably takes the most work, but since it''s a ''work on your own time'' sort of thing, it can be finished in one semester, and I want to graduate!

Other piece of news is that the boy is continuing to be suspicious and drop hints, and I''m even more sure that he''s at least ordered the ring, though I don''t think it''s in yet.

Yay! and Yay! (crossing fingers for the second part

)

 

[misskitty]

Date: 4/3/2009 1:42:33 PM
Author: somegirl932
Two pieces of news for anyone interested...


I just finalized my topic for my senior thesis! (paperwork needs to be turned in, but that''s it) At my school, undergrad CS majors have to do a final senior project, and writing a thesis is the ''least'' time-consuming choice. It probably takes the most work, but since it''s a ''work on your own time'' sort of thing, it can be finished in one semester, and I want to graduate!


Other piece of news is that the boy is continuing to be suspicious and drop hints, and I''m even more sure that he''s at least ordered the ring, though I don''t think it''s in yet.

Yay x2!

Also, because I''m a software geek, what''s your topic?

 

[somegirl932]

Date: 4/3/2009 3:05:26 PM
Author: misskitty
Also, because I''m a software geek, what''s your topic?

More information than you asked for:

I''m doing a senior project in Bioengineering right now that is really a software project, so that''s a image segmentation program. We''re segmenting MR/CT images to pull out what''s fat, bone, different muscles, etc. And then I wrote a GUI for it because the client wanted it. This was all in MATLAB (client request!)

My thesis is basically developing a framework to input cancer patient data, partition them into ''bins'' based on "factors that matter" and then find the "factors that matter" within each of those bins to predict the progression of a patient''s cancer. Besides developing the framework, but job is to determine what exactly those "factors that matter" are. This will probably be done in IDL, but maybe C.

Annnnd finally, in my free time, I choose to do Natural Language Processing stuff, and think my current personal preferences for languages are C# and python.

 

[Jessie702]

Hey everyone, just wanted to introduce myself, since im new. I have been peeking at the forum for awhile but decide to finally sign up. HaHa, i need to talk to someone else about my wedding blues. Just some quick info, im a college student, 2nd year, more really a 3rd year, but i slacked off my first and am making up for it now. Double major of communications and psychology, currently work at a funeral home, scary,i know. SO is 45, and the love of my life. I hate writing stuff about myself, but really like the forum. So now that you know info about me, you wont be wondering whos the girl lurcking around. LoL.....ooo and im a big 80''s Metal fan!!!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Welcome, Jessie!

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 4/3/2009 4:10:24 PM
Author: somegirl932

Date: 4/3/2009 3:05:26 PM
Author: misskitty
Also, because I''m a software geek, what''s your topic?

More information than you asked for:

I''m doing a senior project in Bioengineering right now that is really a software project, so that''s a image segmentation program. We''re segmenting MR/CT images to pull out what''s fat, bone, different muscles, etc. And then I wrote a GUI for it because the client wanted it. This was all in MATLAB (client request!)

My thesis is basically developing a framework to input cancer patient data, partition them into ''bins'' based on ''factors that matter'' and then find the ''factors that matter'' within each of those bins to predict the progression of a patient''s cancer. Besides developing the framework, but job is to determine what exactly those ''factors that matter'' are. This will probably be done in IDL, but maybe C.

Annnnd finally, in my free time, I choose to do Natural Language Processing stuff, and think my current personal preferences for languages are C# and python.

(watching all that fly over my head).... WOOOSH!

But really, congrats! from what i can gather, it sounds pretty intense!

 

[misskitty]

Date: 4/3/2009 4:10:24 PM
Author: somegirl932

Date: 4/3/2009 3:05:26 PM

Author: misskitty

Also, because I''m a software geek, what''s your topic?

More information than you asked for:


I''m doing a senior project in Bioengineering right now that is really a software project, so that''s a image segmentation program. We''re segmenting MR/CT images to pull out what''s fat, bone, different muscles, etc. And then I wrote a GUI for it because the client wanted it. This was all in MATLAB (client request!)


My thesis is basically developing a framework to input cancer patient data, partition them into ''bins'' based on ''factors that matter'' and then find the ''factors that matter'' within each of those bins to predict the progression of a patient''s cancer. Besides developing the framework, but job is to determine what exactly those ''factors that matter'' are. This will probably be done in IDL, but maybe C.


Annnnd finally, in my free time, I choose to do Natural Language Processing stuff, and think my current personal preferences for languages are C# and python.

Nice nice! Your projects sound awesome. I lean towards Java and C/C++ but I haven''t done much with python, so I can''t form a strong opinion on it.

 

[somegirl932]

Date: 4/3/2009 8:34:52 PM
Author: misskitty
Nice nice! Your projects sound awesome. I lean towards Java and C/C++ but I haven''t done much with python, so I can''t form a strong opinion on it.

I started in Java... I think 6 years ago. Since my introductory classes, no class has done Java programming though. However, I find a lot of similarities between Java and C#. C/C++ kill me because memory management just doesn''t come naturally to me... stupid pointers.

Python is fun. I mostly use it for just fun, quick stuff.

(Whoo for threadjacking to be nerds)

 

[misskitty]

I started out in C++, but had to learn Java for my classes -- almost all of them require it (except systems, which was all C). Funny how different schools focus on different languages.

 

[somegirl932]

Date: 4/3/2009 11:21:05 PM
Author: misskitty
I started out in C++, but had to learn Java for my classes -- almost all of them require it (except systems, which was all C). Funny how different schools focus on different languages.

Our systems class was also in C. But hmmm... this semester, for classes, I''ve had to do:

-OCaml & APL in our programming languages & compilers class
-MATLAB for numerical methods
-python, C, and C# in programming studio.

At least there''s no assembly like last semester...

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

whats up with posters getting frustrated with the LIW forum? Its been these same topics here in LIW for as long as I've been here (which granted isnt even a year yet, but I doubt there was a big shift in topic at some point in the past few years). I understand that maybe compared to SMTR that LIW, BWW, and proposal ideas arent nearly as technical or consumer oriented or professional but if thats a problem shouldnt pricescope just do away with all 3 forums? Its like one sarcastic post after another. Now people cant freely complain about their relationships online? Pricescope is a breeze compared to the whining and relationship drama on facebook and myspace

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

Sorry that I havent replied to any other posts this month here - I dont get this Java talk but I''m reading it none the less.

i love our small talk.

 

[somegirl932]

haha, sorry sailorsweet! we could talk about the coffee sort of java instead!

and yea, i''m not sure what''s up with the LIW bashing.

I''m just excited to have people to share my excitement and also to vent to on occasion. though i''m not actually sure if I found LIW in time for real venting... things seems to be going amazingly recently.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I dont really vent that much either SG - only in "waves" if you will. My real venting forum is my SO''s email address

I think we''re fortunate to have found LIW at a point where we''re not worried about IF but just waiting for WHEN.

And YEA we can talk about JAVA - is it a rumor that caffeine slows metabolism or is that a legitimate reason to try and shed my coffee habit?

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 4/4/2009 11:41:47 PM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
whats up with posters getting frustrated with the LIW forum? Its been these same topics here in LIW for as long as I''ve been here (which granted isnt even a year yet, but I doubt there was a big shift in topic at some point in the past few years). I understand that maybe compared to SMTR that LIW, BWW, and proposal ideas arent nearly as technical or consumer oriented or professional but if thats a problem shouldnt pricescope just do away with all 3 forums? Its like one sarcastic post after another. Now people cant freely complain about their relationships online? Pricescope is a breeze compared to the whining and relationship drama on facebook and myspace

LIW has changed drastically since I first joined around a year and a half ago. Actually it''s changed even more since I *left* in December. It was a lot more realistic, and we had posters like HollyS, Deco, Purrrfect, TGal, etc around to give us smacks upside the head with a dose of reality. No one was afraid to post, or if they were, we didn''t hear any talk of it. It has always been an uncomfortable area of the forum (for a while I retreated to Colored Stones, but that also had to do with my engagement ring search) because it is almost entirely female, and often females under a lot of emotional stress.

My first real dose of LIW came when I had just joined and was still lurking a lot...if you go look up BeckyP''s story you''ll see that posters who do come to LIW care and are just calling the situations as they see them. After reading those threads (horrendously sad but ultimately uplifting btw), I really came to realize that LIW isn''t a safe haven, but more of a reality check/sounding board. It''s only recently that the LIW board has become this "delusional echo chamber" or as I think of it, the "no dose of reality needed" subforum.

Some people (including myself at one point) seem to think that it is their own personal playground and what they say goes, but it isn''t. The only people making rules are the mods. And where would we be if we couldn''t hear all sides of the story? I always love/d talking to/reading about posters like LP, Gwendolyn, Galateia, Elledizzy, trillionaire, Bia, fieryred, EM1, news_girl, sunnyd etc, because they were more realistic and laidback about their engagements. Plus it helps that they are awesome ladies!

So, I wouldn''t consider it bashing. The LIW forum is often filled with only one type of person-often those who are younger, female, waiting to get engaged. The demographics across the rest of the forum have people of all ages, in all kinds of relationship stages, and even a few men! So when none of those older/married/divorced/jaded/male/separated/wizened people drop by the forum enough, the LIW sort of get this tunnel vision with only "supportive" comments, and have an uproar when the various demographics come back to create "negativity"/reality. A good sign of this is when DancingFire comes to LIW to "play"/stir up controversy. And you will notice he has recently come back...

Sometimes it may seem like no one has your best interests at heart, but there are a few things to keep in mind--we only know what is posted, no one is posting to intentionally upset anyone and we''re otherwise subjective. Plus, some of us can be brutally honest (like myself).

The LIW forum is a great resource, and a great place to vent. You just have to remember that there are hundreds-thousands of people reading what you write, and only a small percentage of them are actually compelled to comment, and no matter what forum you''re posting on, we should (here''s my kumbaya moment) be thankful that someone took time out of their day to think about and post about what we have posted. I know, that even while posting while crying my eyes out (nothing to do with being a LIW ironically enough) at the situation I was in, or the comments posted (this happened a LOT when I was reading the posts to me when my mom died) that 99% of them were written with kindness and caring in mind. Sometimes it was hard to think that though while reading what the other person said, but just because it wasn''t what you were wanting to hear, or hoping to hear, doesn''t mean it was said from a malicious place.

It took me a while to learn that...

 

[sammyj]

Date: 4/4/2009 11:41:47 PM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
whats up with posters getting frustrated with the LIW forum? Its been these same topics here in LIW for as long as I''ve been here (which granted isnt even a year yet, but I doubt there was a big shift in topic at some point in the past few years). I understand that maybe compared to SMTR that LIW, BWW, and proposal ideas arent nearly as technical or consumer oriented or professional but if thats a problem shouldnt pricescope just do away with all 3 forums? Its like one sarcastic post after another. Now people cant freely complain about their relationships online? Pricescope is a breeze compared to the whining and relationship drama on facebook and myspace

SS, I couldn''t agree more and I actually posted a similar comment in last month''s small talk thread although mine was just a vent!

Hopefully we''re on the same page here but I''m guessing your comment is more about the snarky, passive-aggressive comments rather than people posting stories and getting candid and not-so-positive advice. Yes, most of the people that post the sarcastic comments are known for that, but in a subforum where most posters are already vulnerable and fragile (especially if they''re seeking advice re: relationship woes), does sarcasm really help in this situation?

I''m well known amongst my group of friends as being brutally honest and a complete biatch at times, and I am more than happy to receive similar advice. But, I''m very selective of the words I choose and how they come across, especially if I hope the person will seriously consider my advice. If I didn''t give two poops and wanted to make a mockery of the situation, then I''d say something rude or sarcastic...but that''s not my style so I''d just keep my thoughts to myself.

I think it''s great that older posters want to come on the LIW forum and give constructive criticism and sage advice, but sarcasm, calling people delusional and shallow, and constant tones of mockery don''t really make it a nice place to hang out...

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

Freke I read through your post and I can see where youre coming from. I'm not even a year old here so my perception of the LIW forum is much greener than yours. I wasnt complaining so much about the lack of a completely supportive environment - in fact I stay away from most posts here that involve relationship trauma and "is he, will he, why wont he" because most of the time I feel even my honest opinion of the post would go in one ear and out the other. I probably would enjoy the posts more and read through more threads if I knew honest opinions were going to be more along the lines of reality or atleast what I was thinking in my head as a response. Im sure you think of me as one of the young posters and not a large contributor to anything significant but I still appreciate the forum regardless of how much I post or how immature some of my posts may be. I was more annoyed with the things that sammy pointed out for the most part. Sarcastic, snarky posts that have no relation to LIW other than to belittle the term and all the posters here as a whole. Perhaps those posters were doing it simply to get a rise out of us and AGAIN I look green and immature for biting at the bait but its just obnoxious I feel.

I do not have a large number of older adults in my life to go to for advice and I more than welcome comments from women AND men who've been there and done that and can say "hey, are you reading what youre writing here?". And although the forum may be whiney and superficial at this point compared to what it was a couple years ago I assume that it goes through phases and will eventually come back around to a more laid back place once a few more posters who arent anxious or questioning their engagement appear.

The bottom line is I'm not an 8 year old idiot, I can obviously read, and the sarcasm and mockery arent that hard to pick up on - even in text - especially with smilies attached. Thats obviously the intention of these posts the past month or so and it hurts to see that unprovoked intention surface.

 

[Bia]

Hello my beautiful ladies. Happy Sunday!

Just to comment on the recent posts about the LIW forum as of late. I've said it over and over again, I love LIW. For me, it was a haven of sorts--Freke, it really was, because I had NO ONE who understood what I was feeling IRL. I met all these wonderful ladies, and they welcomed me with open arms, it was really awesome, and that's why LIW has a special place in my heart. What started out as finding a place to lurk, just looking for my dream ring, turned out to be a place where friendships were made for me. However, my time here was not always happy. There were times that I needed my friends to help me see that it was okay to feel how I was feeling, or when I needed to grow up and see HIS side. Had I not had PS, I don't know how smoothly those 8 months as a LIW would have gone, I shutter really to think LOL.

Anyway, I agree that it doesn't help when posters are overly sarcastic, or calling other members delusional, or whatever. Sometimes you're not seeing things clearly and you need the outside take on it, but to hear that you're crazy probably isn't the best thing to hear. BUT, I also think that people shouldn't join LIW expecting to be passified. If you are putting it out there, then expect to have it given back in all different sorts of ways. It's not always going to be what you want to hear, that's life. Not everyone is the same. I'm the poster that tries to be a little more sensitive because, personally, I'm of the more emotional variety.That doesn't mean I won't tell it like it is--I'll just try to say it as nicely as possible LOL. AND believe it, I had my feelings hurt a few times, and I had to lick my wounds and see that what I was being told may not be nice, but it was true. Some people can't take being told things aside from what they want to hear, and others can. If you're (I mean anyone, no one specifically) the type that can't, then let it be a lesson to you--don't put your personal business out there, because this is a forum, not a place full of people just like you.

ETA: Almost forgot, Freke. thanks for the shot out mama. *smooch* My sentiments exactly

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

 

[Bia]

Hmmmm...I guess I'm not sure which posts you're referring to. I agree that making fun of the people here is definitely not acceptable. And in those cases, they should be reported to the mods.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I think I''m just going to let it go and not take it personally. I chose to post here and with that Im putting myself in the grouping LIW which can be made fun of.

Sorry bia I was trying and reword what I was writing above when you quoted it.

 

[Bia]

No worries sweets

 

[Lauren8211]

Can I throw in my two cents?

In 99.999999% of situations, the responses that might be viewed as underhanded, or sarcastic, are usually given to posters who have a history of negative behavior on the boards. The throwing of temper tantrums in LIW is what gives us a "bad name." Those temper tantrums are not endearing, cute, mature, or conducive to any sort of real discussion on LIW.

Most long time posters know and realize a lot of LIWs are hurting and a bit emotional. Just because they''re blunt doesn''t mean they''re mean. I''ve yet to see a long time poster tell a new LIW on her first post that she''s an idiot for staying with the guy, and then throwing a bunch of

emoties at her.

If you''re confused as to why some posters illicit specific responses, I''d check their history of topics. Although, a lot of times those threads get deleted.

I''ve said it before, and I''ll say it again. I''ve learned SO MUCH from posters in all areas of PS. The number 1 lesson I''ll take with me when leaving this board (Should that day come!) is how to take an honest response. It will benefit you more than you know if you''re willing and ready to accept.

I urge everyone to come to LIW and PS in general with an open mind. That being said, if you seriously feel like someone is being unfairly attacked, message the mods. That is what they''re there for.

I find that PS has a way of weeding out the people who aren''t up for the strong minds and opinions on this board. It''s unfortunate, because they really are mostly in good faith.

Love,
The girl who is spending nearly 2 years in LIW waiting for her lazy boyfriend to get his shiz together.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I cant speak for Sammy and what set her off last month on the small talk thread, but I'd just like to reiterate that I have no problem with honesty and straight forward answers on this form, I have a problem with dancing fire's post which was pointed out as sexist and was a slap in the face to anyone who's ever posted on LIW including everyone who's been responding to my thread here. I know he has a history of stirring things up but it was for no reason at all and thats just asinine.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 4/5/2009 12:52:13 PM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
I cant speak for Sammy and what set her off last month on the small talk thread, but I''d just like to reiterate that I have no problem with honesty and straight forward answers on this form, I have a problem with dancing fire''s post which was pointed out as sexist and was a slap in the face to anyone who''s ever posted on LIW including everyone who''s been responding to my thread here. I know he has a history of stirring things up but it was for no reason at all and thats just assanine.

I hear ya, SS. DF is a trouble maker, and I never take anything he says seriously.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 4/5/2009 11:44:44 AM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
I think I''m just going to let it go and not take it personally. I chose to post here and with that Im putting myself in the grouping LIW which can be made fun of.

Sorry bia I was trying and reword what I was writing above when you quoted it.

You know what SS, I''m not even a LIW anymore and the snarkiness irks me like crazy. Yes, I completely agree that if you can''t take the heat then get out of the kitchen, but it does feel like the ladies in this forum are being made fun of and treated like immature, irrational and petty kids. Perhaps I''m taking this all too seriously, but I don''t deal well with mean and rude people...just not my cup of tea. There are plenty of posters though, who do provide well thought-out, well-written posts that I enjoy reading...and even the snarky PSers write those once in awhile too!

 

[sammyj]

Date: 4/5/2009 12:52:13 PM
Author: SailorsSweet<3
I cant speak for Sammy and what set her off last month on the small talk thread, but I'd just like to reiterate that I have no problem with honesty and straight forward answers on this form, I have a problem with dancing fire's post which was pointed out as sexist and was a slap in the face to anyone who's ever posted on LIW including everyone who's been responding to my thread here. I know he has a history of stirring things up but it was for no reason at all and thats just asinine.

What set me off was when a longtime PSer said that anyone that snoops or even considers snooping is shallow (I'm the furthest thing from a snooper with the exception of shaking my xmas presents FWIW) and then she came on the next day and basically said all LIW were whiny and irrational (in more words or less). It's like they're attaching a stigma with being a LIW and being anxious about getting engaged.

And for me, DF is DF and I ignore most of his threads. Did you see the one in Hangout about how much inheritance you'd leave your sons/daughters?!?!!?