I can say this rudely or I can say this nicely, but it still boils down to a sense of entitlement. I see trouble ahead.Date: 7/16/2008 4:11:07 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
so many girls are asking for a 2ct these daysDate: 7/16/2008 12:51:49 PM
Author:prettycushion
My dad educated me about diamonds when I was young and I did extra research about six months ago when my fiance started asking me about what kind of diamonds I liked. I told him I loved cushions and thought that 2ct was the perfect size. He knows I really wanted a great ring because I would have it always, but would be happy with a simple setting and a small wedding.
To give you some background, my finace owns his own business and drives a brand new 911 Porsche. He has a known tendency to be cheap with a lot of things and is always saving money. I think for the most part that is great, but an e-ring is not the place to be cheap, right?!
From what I can tell there''s about $10,000 difference between a 2ct K-L range stone and a F-H range.
I feel like if 2ct was more than he wanted to spend he should have said so. I would have been happier with an average-good stone at a smaller size. I feel like that would have been more honest. It feels like he cheaped out by getting such poor color.
I feel selfish and petty, but at the same time cheated. I''m afraid that he doesn''t value me much or that this illustrates that we have large fundamental differences in the way we view money. That could be a really big problem in a marriage that will hurt us down the road.
I want a stone that I can look at 50 years later and love.
Help me ladies!!!
maybe after buying the Porsche he couldn''t afford a more expensive ring.
you shouldn''t of ask for a 2 ct
selfish...yep!!
Reading it, I'm not so sure it is entitlement as opposed to an assumption or an expectation. Her FI spends money on an expensive car and she knows he has $X in savings, so why not assume he may spend $Y on a ring? I'm not saying it's right, but how many women come here saying they think they know the ball park range but aren't 100% sure? My guess is there's nothing here that is selfish or malicious but rather an expectation that wasn't met, whether it was unrealistic or because of a lack of communication.Date: 7/17/2008 6:57:36 AM
Author: Imdanny
I can say this rudely or I can say this nicely, but it still boils down to a sense of entitlement. I see trouble ahead.Date: 7/16/2008 4:11:07 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
so many girls are asking for a 2ct these daysDate: 7/16/2008 12:51:49 PM
Author:prettycushion
My dad educated me about diamonds when I was young and I did extra research about six months ago when my fiance started asking me about what kind of diamonds I liked. I told him I loved cushions and thought that 2ct was the perfect size. He knows I really wanted a great ring because I would have it always, but would be happy with a simple setting and a small wedding.
To give you some background, my finace owns his own business and drives a brand new 911 Porsche. He has a known tendency to be cheap with a lot of things and is always saving money. I think for the most part that is great, but an e-ring is not the place to be cheap, right?!
From what I can tell there's about $10,000 difference between a 2ct K-L range stone and a F-H range.
I feel like if 2ct was more than he wanted to spend he should have said so. I would have been happier with an average-good stone at a smaller size. I feel like that would have been more honest. It feels like he cheaped out by getting such poor color.
I feel selfish and petty, but at the same time cheated. I'm afraid that he doesn't value me much or that this illustrates that we have large fundamental differences in the way we view money. That could be a really big problem in a marriage that will hurt us down the road.
I want a stone that I can look at 50 years later and love.
Help me ladies!!!
maybe after buying the Porsche he couldn't afford a more expensive ring.
you shouldn't of ask for a 2 ct
selfish...yep!!
she also did not READ what RX was saying either.Date: 7/17/2008 8:52:22 AM
Author: tradergirl
Dear Ms. Disney Bride:
I have no idea who you have me mixed up with but I suffer from no lack of diamonds and never have. The difference is, I buy them myself (other than my wedding ring) and therefore, appreciate the effort that goes into making the large amounts of money that they cost. You might consider that yoruself sometime when you decide to pass judgment on people you know nothing about.
yeah, go make someDate: 7/17/2008 9:06:44 AM
Author: tradergirl
No, I suspect the objections voiced by some of these ''young professionals'' to my viewpoint is that they hold the same expectations as the OP and are not happy being called on it. Whatever. This has just been funny and the market is about to open. Have a good day ya''ll.
Date: 7/16/2008 9:54:35 PM
Author: Skippy123
Prettycushion, count me in the camp of wanting to see pics please and I hope things work out. Is it time for pie?
Date: 7/17/2008 12:17:51 AM
Author: Your Girl
Loooooong time lurker -- former poster (forgot my old p-word so i reregistered)
You know, I don''t think jealousy has much to do with the negativity on here. There are sooooo so so many wonderful rings on here that it''s crazy to think someone would get jealous over any 1 more than the others. For instance, someone had a 5+ ct on SMTR today and nothing but positive comments were present. The OP there just said something like, ''here''s my ring.'' That''s cool -- nobody is going to take offense to that.
Other threads have other things going on. Here the OP and then other posters make comments that make others feel as though they''re being degraded (i.e. K color is crappy). On another recent thread someone with a large ring drew a lot of criticism and I think it was b/c of the way she handled herself on the thread. Basically coming off like a princess and refusing to admit that there was another side to her story. Then when people called the OP out on it, a bunch of ''net nannies'' jumped to her defense and began starting more trouble than there ever should have been. I think by this point a lot of you know I''m talking about crookedrocks thread a while back. I didn''t care one bit about the ring but it made me sick that she felt the need to pass judgment on everyones'' comments whether they were positive or negative.
Sometimes people just annoy you with the way they conduct themselves. I think that''s the reason for negativity rather than mere jealousy. I will say though that jealousy is evident in a lot of posts within these already negative threads.
Just my 2 cents. The net nanny syndrome on here really perplexes me at times... That''s what drives these threads more than negativity
Ditto!Date: 7/17/2008 9:58:02 AM
Author: tberube
Date: 7/17/2008 12:17:51 AM
Author: Your Girl
Loooooong time lurker -- former poster (forgot my old p-word so i reregistered)
You know, I don't think jealousy has much to do with the negativity on here. There are sooooo so so many wonderful rings on here that it's crazy to think someone would get jealous over any 1 more than the others. For instance, someone had a 5+ ct on SMTR today and nothing but positive comments were present. The OP there just said something like, 'here's my ring.' That's cool -- nobody is going to take offense to that.
Other threads have other things going on. Here the OP and then other posters make comments that make others feel as though they're being degraded (i.e. K color is crappy). On another recent thread someone with a large ring drew a lot of criticism and I think it was b/c of the way she handled herself on the thread. Basically coming off like a princess and refusing to admit that there was another side to her story. Then when people called the OP out on it, a bunch of 'net nannies' jumped to her defense and began starting more trouble than there ever should have been. I think by this point a lot of you know I'm talking about crookedrocks thread a while back. I didn't care one bit about the ring but it made me sick that she felt the need to pass judgment on everyones' comments whether they were positive or negative.
Sometimes people just annoy you with the way they conduct themselves. I think that's the reason for negativity rather than mere jealousy. I will say though that jealousy is evident in a lot of posts within these already negative threads.
Just my 2 cents. The net nanny syndrome on here really perplexes me at times... That's what drives these threads more than negativity
I think that's a spot-on observation, your girl.
Date: 7/17/2008 10:09:31 AM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Date: 7/17/2008 9:58:02 AM
Author: tberube
Date: 7/17/2008 12:17:51 AM
Author: Your Girl
Loooooong time lurker -- former poster (forgot my old p-word so i reregistered)
You know, I don''t think jealousy has much to do with the negativity on here. There are sooooo so so many wonderful rings on here that it''s crazy to think someone would get jealous over any 1 more than the others. For instance, someone had a 5+ ct on SMTR today and nothing but positive comments were present. The OP there just said something like, ''here''s my ring.'' That''s cool -- nobody is going to take offense to that.
Other threads have other things going on. Here the OP and then other posters make comments that make others feel as though they''re being degraded (i.e. K color is crappy). On another recent thread someone with a large ring drew a lot of criticism and I think it was b/c of the way she handled herself on the thread. Basically coming off like a princess and refusing to admit that there was another side to her story. Then when people called the OP out on it, a bunch of ''net nannies'' jumped to her defense and began starting more trouble than there ever should have been. I think by this point a lot of you know I''m talking about crookedrocks thread a while back. I didn''t care one bit about the ring but it made me sick that she felt the need to pass judgment on everyones'' comments whether they were positive or negative.
Sometimes people just annoy you with the way they conduct themselves. I think that''s the reason for negativity rather than mere jealousy. I will say though that jealousy is evident in a lot of posts within these already negative threads.
Just my 2 cents. The net nanny syndrome on here really perplexes me at times... That''s what drives these threads more than negativity
I think that''s a spot-on observation, your girl.
Ditto!
I also noticed that a lot of responses are from newish members (I''m a newish member myself) who probably want to add their two cents (I''ve done this many times in the past). I noticed the more veteran members feel less of a need to ''weigh in'' on it. I noticed this myself because when I first read the message I thought to myself ''get a smaller, whiter stone. Boom, done'' and then thought ''that''s weird, I wasn''t judgemental''.
I wonder if the longer you are on PS, the more prone you are to just offer a solution and not give an opinion about the situation? Who knows!
Date: 7/16/2008 9:23:38 PM
Author: pauly1
Well, this was a good one! I need to get a napkin and wipe the popcorn butter off my keyboard.
Date: 7/17/2008 1:00:40 PM
Author: fieryred33143
If seeing the certificate is going to set your mind at ease, then I would ask for it. But understand that if you do, he *may* misconstrue that as you telling him you don’t trust him so you need to be sensitive when asking for it.
Date: 7/17/2008 12:58:53 PM
Author: girlie-girl
I''m really happy to see a post from you after all this thread has been through. I''m also very pleased that you have been able to pick out the advice that was given with good intentions and take a good look at the situation both from your perspective and how it appears from others''. Kudos to you for being honest with your guy even though his original reaction wasn''t the best. I never said so, but I too thought he probably picked out what he thought was the best for what you wanted. It sounds like that was exactly the case so I''m not too surprised with his reaction.
As far as him thinking he got a diamond graded higher than K and you feeling the jeweler''s comment about its color is valid, I''d suggest sending the ring to an independant appraiser to make sure. I don''t suggest that because I feel the ring is lower than what he thought he was getting, but more because I want you both to be paying for the color you''ve received and the only way to know that for sure is to have it appraised (does it have a GIA cert to match it to?).
Hang in there, it sounds like with some more open discussions things will be okay. Keep us posted and thanks for not disappearing on us.
Now, with regard to pics of this ring that has caused so much discussion. Do you feel comfortable sharing pics with us? I''d love to see it!
Have a great day!
Date: 7/17/2008 1:12:25 PM
Author: prettycushion
Thanks