Taking the man''s name

[fire&ice]

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On 10/22/2004 4:21:41 PM quaeritur wrote:

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On 10/21/2004 10:36:34 PM reena wrote:




i][/p]

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This is basically what I was so cryptically trying to say. The atrocities commited in the name of religion.

And, yeah, the Bible can be interpreted (and has in so many different languages) & often not taken literally. While I certainly believe in the history aspect, I think it's written in Parables (sp?)

And, my belief that Faith & Religion are two very different things. I believe Faith is your relationship to God & Religion a man made way of expressing Faith - but just one way.

 

[sumi]

I kept my last name. I wasn't trying to make a political statement, I just don't see the need to change my name. Both my husband and I don't see the big deal in changing last names.

Regardless of what my last name is, it doesn't change our love or commitment to each other. I could care less if others are confused whether we are married or not because of our different last names. The one thing I worry about is if my husband ends up in the hospital (or vice versa......knock on wood). I'm a ad worried that I'll have a hard time proving to hospital staff that I'm his spouse because of our names. I think it's pretty common for women not to change their name, so I don't expect too much of a problem. I don't really know too many women who did change their name.


There are a lot of children who have different last names from their mothers, so I'm really not concerned about that. Think of all the mothers on their second marriage who changed their name, while the children have the their father's last names.

My license to practice law is also under my maiden name, so that would have been a pain to change.


It doesn't bother me if people change their name or keep their name. Why would I care? That's their decision and it has nothing to do with me.

 

[Momoftwo]

Like I said earlier, you can go professionally by your maiden name and privately by your married name. A lot of people do it. You can change is legally for personal reasons, but that doesn't make it change for private reasons. You can publish, practice law, whatever, under whatever name you choose. What I can't stand is women who get offended when you call them Mrs., so and so. I know someone who only responds to Ms. Married name. What is that about???? I personally am very proud to be Mrs. But, if you want to go by your maiden name, do it, just dont' act like it makes you less of a person to take your husband's name. I know more people who don't take the name offended by those taking the name than the opposite. You're not more "enlightened" because you keep your name, it's just a choice. "Feminism" is pretty much a dead topic anyway. Everyone is equal under the law and always have been, and where I work, there's as many women in top positions as men. There are definitely more important topics in a relationship than names. Ask most women who've been married for a few years and they'll tell you, the relationship is built on respect and mutual goals. Once you have children, everyone will call you Mrs. his last name anyway. I've seen it with my childrens' friends parents. It's just easier for everyone, especially your children.

BTW, my faith is that Jesus Christ is the living God and is the saviour of my life. I'm not about religion, but the fact that I'm saved through him.

 

[Camellia]

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On 10/22/2004 11:16:09 PM Momoftwo wrote:

'Feminism' is pretty much a dead topic anyway. Everyone is equal under the law and always have been ----------------

Momoftwo

So you think that everyone has always been equal under the law?

In Australia, Aboriginal people were only given the right to vote in 1967 - something that I find particularly disgraceful for a country that considers itself civilised. When did African-Americans gain the vote? Malcolom X and Martin Luther King were fighting for black rights in the 1960s I believe. And from my recent reading of the state of US politics, the Republicans are actively deterring African-Americans from voting in your upcoming election because they'll vote Democrat.

Australia was the second country in the world to give women the right to vote nationally in 1902 (New Zealand beat us to it). When did women get the vote in the US? The right to vote is a basic tenet of democracy and denying certain groups of society that right is not treating everyone equally and is undemocratic. In Australia women gained the right to equal pay for equal work in 1973 - that is within living memory.

I am fortunate to have lived in Australia in a time in which people are treated reasonably equitably under the law. But given that so many basic human rights have only been provided in the last 50 to 100 years, it is too soon to take equality for granted.

 

[Momoftwo]

Uh, I wasn't referring to Australia. I don't live there. But, I misspoke about always for everything, but that really doesn't matter or apply to now. I just meant that you don't have to keep your name to be the same person. That crap about losing your identity by taking your husband's name is just psychobabble. I just think some women do it as a political statement.

I happen to work with several women in their 20's and 30's who have gotten married in the last 5 years and only one kept her name. The others were extremely proud to become Mrs. I see more women taking their husband's name, just like you see more traditional weddings.

But, as I also said earlier, I know women who have kept their maiden names and their children's friends and others still call them Mrs. married name anyway. And when they do correct someone, they come off as very defensive, like you just insulted them by calling them by their husband's last name. How respectful of their husband to be offended by being called by his last name?

 

[Libster]

Just wanted to add a few things. I already replied that I kept my Maiden name. I didn't do this because I'm some BIG feminist. My Husband had some financial skeletons in his closet, due to a failed business, and it was best to have at least one "clean" financial name for our start in married life. Also, I had already established my name in my work field. Plus, did I mention I'm lazy

Our familes find it frustrating, as they can never seem to find us when we travel...hehehehe....they forget we use both names.

I would NEVER be offended to be called "Mrs Husband's Name", nor is my husband offended when people call and ask him if he is "Mr My Maiden Name". After 15 years it's quite funny. Bottom line, whether you keep your Maiden name or not, it's a personal decison and no ones business but yours