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STRMRDR - A decade old update / plea

danny0927

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
56
15 years ago I lurked here for 4-5 months and then posted a thread praising a user named "STRMRDR" and asking for help. I intended to propose to a girl. It was 2008. I had determined a user named STRMRDR was well intentioned and hoped she or he (turned out to be a "he") would help me. The thread is here:


The last day I posted was end of February 2008. My gf at the time was coming to visit from abroad. She'd been to American over a dozen times, never overstayed a visa, never had an issue, we didn't even think about it. When she came end of February 2008 she was stopped and questioned entering the USA. She was denied entry by the random agent at the desk, her visa voided, and she was sent back on "suspicion of intention to immigrate." It was nonsense, she had been to the USA months prior, if she wanted to break the rules we simply could have got married and she would have been allowed to stay.

It was a mess. I moved to far away to be with her. I gave up my career. I never saw family. We were POOR. We scratched out $100 a week. We got married. My mom gave my wife her first ring, I couldn't afford one. She got pregnant and we had a baby in 2012. We moved back to America after her 5-year penalty finished and we got a visa. We had two little girls. After many tough times, my career got better, I tried hard and had some luck. Things got much better financially.

But I never got her a ring, much less one she deserved. Now I'm old and it haunts me.

If STRMRDR is still around, now, 15 years later, I need help again. I need to finally buy my wife of 14 years the ring she deserves (or that I can afford). But I know nothing and forgot what I learned in 2008. I want her to be cry and know I didn't forget. I have ~$9000 to spend. I want a round solitaire, maybe with a halo, if those are still cool, no need if they aren't. I'd be grateful for someone's help as it's a daunting process and I have paralysis by analysis even thinking about starting to think about finding a ring. I appreciate your time.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
27,239
Strmdr is still here on PS ❤️ He joined the trade, created a brand new diamond shape called the Octavia, and now participates as @Karl_K.

What a lovely end to a long journey! Congratulations on all that you and your wife have accomplished together and I’m looking forward to seeing what you choose to celebrate your fifteen years with ::)
 

breanne

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 7, 2016
Messages
508
I don't want to hijack your thread to suggest a labgrown diamond over a earth mined diamond, but things have progressed a lot over the years. You can get a huge diamond with incredible specifications with 9k for a lab. I just did, I was very skeptical at first, maybe consider this avenue as well!
 

MissGotRocks

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 23, 2005
Messages
16,266
He is now considered in the trade so he probably can’t recommend diamonds for you. He can, however, comment on ones you post. Many here will be happy to help you find a diamond though and he can always give his stamp of approval.

Your story is so wonderful and a true testament of love! So glad that you both made it back stateside and want you to find that magnificent diamond for her. Do you have any thoughts about size or color?
 

Karl_K

Super_Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
14,627
WOW!!!! Welcome back, amazing story!!
Bravo!!!!!
I am now in the trade so I can not link specific stones however there are some awesome prosumers here who can.
I can answer technical questions once they find you some options!
Halos are still popular as is going with a larger main stone and a simple setting.
Man made diamonds are also now an option.
Look around at the mmd forum and the show me the ring forum here at PS for help deciding on a starting point.

Welcome back! and Congrates!!!!
 

DejaWiz

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 23, 2021
Messages
5,945
What an amazing love story - and welcome back to PriceScope!
What carat/diameter, color range, and clarity realm are you hoping to target for your budget?
 

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 31, 2014
Messages
18,014
What an amazing love story - and welcome back to PriceScope!
What carat/diameter, color range, and clarity realm are you hoping to target for your budget?

This!! We would be happy to help!
 

Lookinagain

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 15, 2014
Messages
4,410
Wow, what a wonderful, heartwarming story you have. Before you start on your journey, check with your wife about whether she prefers earth mined or lab crated diamonds. No sense spending time on both if she prefers one over the other. Then answer the questions about size, clarity, color. That would be my starting point since you already know that the shape will be round. Best of luck. Many here will help, whatever you decide.
 

Bron357

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
6,532
Welcome back.
what a lovely story, congrats to you both for weathering many storms and thriving.
If your wife wouldn’t be fussed one way or the other and you want as big as possible, definitely go with lab grown. They are real diamonds just grown, isnt technology wonderful, and prices are very competitive now.
If you want to keep it a surprise, stick with round. Does she have any other rings so you can judge her taste. I mean would she like a halo (I LOVE me a halo) or more simple, just a solitaire on a plain band. If there’s a way to find out what she’d really really love, that would be a big bonus.
 

Ella

Brilliant_Rock
Staff member
Premium
Joined
Jan 18, 2010
Messages
1,621
Folks, a gentle reminder that this isn’t the place to steer users to lab or natural unless they ask for those thoughts. Please keep lab discussions in the correct forum.
 

diamondyes

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 16, 2020
Messages
1,689
Awwwwww welcome back :)
 

danny0927

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
56
Thank you all, your messages feel really good. Karl, thanks for responding, really cool you are here! Undertaking this mission sort of brought me back to 2008 in my mind, really unexpected tough time, crazy what life brings. Sad and scary, but it's over. On questions, I don't know that I have many answers, but here goes:

1. My wife won't have a preference about whether a mined or grown stone. I kind of prefer grown, but only because I have a perception of diamond mining being an industry hard on vulnerable people that I don't even know is accurate. Either way, if they are the same, seems best to go with man-made if they are less expensive. But I'm up for anything.

2. On color, clarity, etc. I have no idea. I vaguely remember someone telling me here the "cut" mattered most, not sure if that is still true. On color, I want it to be "nice," I don't want it to look yellow. On clarity, I don't want it to be obviously flawed. I tried to go back and see what I was looking at in 2008, but I no longer remember what the terms mean, like vvs etc. The one I liked (and STRM approved) in 2008 had these "specs" and I don't even remember what "hearts and arrows" means (I'd be looking for something bigger now if I can afford it):

Carat: 0.67
Color: I
Clarity: VS1
Measurements: 5.69 x 5.70 - 3.47
Girdle: TN - M /P (1.2 - 3.3%)
Depth %: 61.0
Table %: 56
Culet: P
Polish: I
Symmetry: I
Fluorescence: N.
Crown Angle: 34.1
Crown Height: 14.9
Pavilion Angle: 41.0
Pavilion Depth: 43.3
Lab Comments: None
Price: $2,495


3. On size, I have no idea what anything costs. I was hoping to get at least 1 carrot, but I only have ~$9k, so I have no idea if that is just a dream.

4. My wife is frustratingly easy to please. She has almost no jewelry, she's not into it. She doesn't even have her ears pierced. If it matters, she's quite small, and her fingers are small. And she chases around a 3 year old, so I think more than anything while she'll be really happy about all this I also think she'll initially stress that she has something nice. That's just her. But she'll be super happy to show it to our family, etc.

Can I ask a question:

1. If someone helps me find a diamond, can Karl or whomever then turn it into like the whole ring?


Karl, thanks for pointing me to those forums for ideas. I looked a bit when she went to bed and will look again today from my office beyond her prying eyes. Very happy to reconnect, and very grateful for all the kind words for each of you, thank you.
 

anon34985

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
275
is your budget for the entire ring, or just the diamond?

This looks super nice and a good size for $8,600 wire, and you could get a classic 4 or 6 prong solitaire for $350 (both links below). You would purchase this all through whiteflash, they would assemble the ring, and send it out! You really couldn't go wrong with something like this, in my opinion!

(diamond) https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-di...olor-si1-clarity-round-ideal-cut-sku-a3466460

(setting) https://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/6-prong-solitaire-engagement-ring-582.htm
 

anon34985

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
275
This diamond is slightly less expensive, for a touch more size- it is expert selection instead of a cut above. They are both eligible for the upgrade program. Someone more versed in diamonds could tell you if expert selection is okay!

 

Karl_K

Super_Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
14,627
@danny0927
To answer some of your questions.
You have the budget for over 1ct in mined diamonds.
H/I VSx and careful vetted eyeclean si1 stones are a good choice unless one of you is really color sensitive. Some examples have been linked above.
In a mmd you have the funds to go D-F vvs and a lot over 1ct or stay in the 1ct range and not spend the entire amount even with a real nice setting.
To discuss mmd options you need to start a new thread here:

I do not directly sell diamonds or settings.
In general its a good idea to get the setting from the place you buy the diamond unless you want a complicated custom setting.
There are also a few sellers who do complex custom settings and well cut diamonds, in other cases people have had a separate specialist do the setting.
In the case of the custom settings the prosumers here can guide you well.
 

Ibrakeforpossums

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 21, 2019
Messages
2,485
If your wife is not a jewelry girl and minds a toddler, I think something bezel-set and low profile would be good. No prongs to catch the little one. It sounds like she would be most comfortable with something understated, maybe something that looks like it's been in the family for a long time.
 

dk168

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 7, 2013
Messages
12,491
If your wife is not a jewelry girl and minds a toddler, I think something bezel-set and low profile would be good. No prongs to catch the little one. It sounds like she would be most comfortable with something understated, maybe something that looks like it's been in the family for a long time.

I second bezel-set and low profile.

DK :))
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
19,199
This is such a cool update! Happy hunting, I hope you find the ring that makes her weep with joy—you both deserve it after such struggles.
 

anon34985

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 19, 2019
Messages
275
If your wife is not a jewelry girl and minds a toddler, I think something bezel-set and low profile would be good. No prongs to catch the little one. It sounds like she would be most comfortable with something understated, maybe something that looks like it's been in the family for a long time.

Just want to add, I also have a toddler and a 6 prong solitaire! Don't be scared away of a pronged solitaire, a lot of mothers have them without issue :)

I do love the look of a bezel though :kiss2:
 

DejaWiz

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 23, 2021
Messages
5,945
danny0927 here is a fantastic option for EGD:

Tiny table, huge crown height, colorless range, no clarity concerns:

Popular Valoria Petite in six prong platinum flavor:

Please start a thread over at the LGD section... Whiteflash also sells fully vetted lab grown, so any of there settings can by chosen for that,as well. There are also some great LGD sellers that we can point you to.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
27,195
I just saw this in the pre-loved section. Its very pretty and made by Victor Canera. May be a little too much ring for your
wife because it is a haloed 3-stone but thought I would post anyway.

 

MissGotRocks

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 23, 2005
Messages
16,266

danny0927

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
56
Thank you so much. I need some time to look up some of the terms ya'll are familiar with and to figure out where to post properly etc. but wanted to again say thanks to you all for helping me.
 

Karl_K

Super_Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
14,627
wanted to again say thanks to you all for helping me.
Your welcome!
That's what we do around here! Then and now.
It is really amazing as so many forums have folded or turned nasty that PS still remains super helpful and nice.

I understand about the INS stuff, my Wifey4ever is from Canada.
We got lucky and the INS approval went through in what our attorney called record time of under 3 months.
Some friends of ours, they gave up after a couple years of rejections and he went to Canada instead of her to the states.
Its strange how life works sometimes.
Your story goes to show, love wins over the government bureaucrats.
 

LilAlex

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 3, 2018
Messages
3,585
OK, tbh, after reading the first 2/3 of the OP, I was half-expecting a link to a GoFundMe...pleasantly surprised!

What a story! I'm glad you were able to make a go of it -- and best of luck on the hunt! There is some amazing talent already on this thread. They helped me with diamond re-cut questions, etc.
 

Wink

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
May 24, 2021
Messages
814
Welcome to PriceScope. It is always sad to read how much misplaced power some paper pushing agents have. Glad to hear you overcame the abuse and are now living happily with your wife.

I have enjoyed reading of your journey and your search, and I am confident you will find a very nice ring for your wife with the help of the friendly people of PriceScope.
 

danny0927

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
56
I'm a bit lost on where to properly post, so I apologize if I'm doing this wrong. I took Karl's advice and looked at "settings" and some diamonds but really I'm completely unqualified and forget what small amount I learned in 2007-08. Here's what I know and I wondered can someone take this info and help be like, "Yeah, we can get you that," pointing me to a diamond (that I'll unabashedly ask if Karl approves of lol) and I hand over the money and they send the ring, I feel incapable of buying a loose diamond and then matching it with a place that sells settings. Anyway:

1. I want a lab grown stone, whatever the right term for that is. Looks like ~2-2.75 carat is what I can afford. I want the "cut" to something you nerds (said with affection) would approve of and clarity and color to be in sort of upper class range but doesn't have to be perfect.
2. I like these settings but the odd thing to me is a lot of places don't let you see what the ring looks like under the stone, I think I saw a diagram calling it the "basket." I want that part to be simple, like petite if that's a proper word. Some rings I like don't show that bit so I'm unsure. But what I do think I know is:

- I like settings that have 6 prongs. I don't know why, I just like em. For example:


- I like when they have diamonds running down the side, I think that's called "pave".

https://www.adiamor.com/Top-Engagement-Ring-Styles (the very top photo, the one of the girl's hand, that ring on her hand, I like it.)


3. I'm trying not to confuse myself, but I think I might also like "pear" and "oval" shapes, though I don't know if that's like a "don't get too cute, pal" type of thing for a wedding ring for a middle classer like me.

4. I think I like the gold rings, they seem both classic and modern to me. If girls don't like them, please let me know.


Again, thank you all so much for the kindness. I'm happy to pay someone to help me but only if they get a letter of recommendation from Karl.:lol-2:

Any advice given the above? Again, my budget is ~$9500ish, for the whole ring, like the diamond and the setting.
 

Karl_K

Super_Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
14,627
Hi Dan lab diamond questions go here:

Just copy/paste your above post in a new thread there and a lot of people will be glad to help.
I will follow along and give a stamp of approval.
No need to pay someone to do it! other than a story and pictures after you give it to her! :}
 
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