Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird about?

[pearaffair]

I'm shopping around, and dreaming about diamonds. Wondering which size RBC would look good on my 4.5 finger (probably 1-2ct!!). I'm also enjoying all the photos of nice big rocks on PS! But in my part of Canada, in my social circles, NOBODY has more than 1ct, and most people have between 0.15-0.65 size diamonds in their ring. We all know that size doesn't matter, it's how you use it . And I love all rings, big and small. That being said - I am dreaming of a nice big bauble! Especially since I know how to get a good price on one (thanks to PSers! ).

But even if I tracked down a good price on a lovely 1-2ct, I know I'd never wear it. Or rarely wear it. Why? Not wanting my peers to feel weird, or people to judge me, or people to want to rob me! I worry about the story a big diamond tells, and whether or not that fits with who I am and how I see myself. And then, the other side of me says, screw what people think, if I like it I'll wear it!

I'm hoping to start a discussion:

In your social circles, what is the average diamond size? (Add your geographical location if you want.)
What size diamond would you feel weird about wearing in your daily life? Why?
Have you run into examples of this already?

Thanks!

 

[foxinsox]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I'm in New Zealand and here it's uncommon to see large solitaires. There's quite a few halos and 3-stones but the bigger stones are not common except on older wealthy women.
I've got a 1.08ct OEC which faces up like a 1.3-1.4 ct (shallow as hell but somehow it works and is also super sparkly) and is quite a bit larger than any of my friends rings and I do sometimes feel self conscious about it if anyone comments.
But most of the time I look at it and think it looks about right on my size 6.5 finger and I could probably go bigger with no problem! (isn't that always the way?)

 

[AprilBaby]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I think sometimes it comes down to stage in life. What I would wear now is not what I would have worn 30 years ago. Buy your big diamond now because what you want in 30 years might be twice the price. Who cares what others wear? Chicago area: 1-2 ct
Rock what you love!

 

[kenny]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Since you asked ... it's not very important to me to be similar to people around me.
I do, wear, & say what I want.

People who only like people similar to them are probably not around me.

One reason I'd not wear too large of a stone is feeling less safe in certain places.
For that reason I'm more comfy wearing my 1.5 ct Octavia asscher than I was when I wore a 2.26 ct asscher.

Except now I'm wearing a July 4th fireworks show.
I'm waiting to be sued for giving someone whiplash.

 

[pearaffair]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

"I'm waiting to be sued for giving someone whiplash. "

LOL!!!!!!! Haha you make me laugh!!!

 

[pearaffair]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I think sometimes it comes down to stage in life. What I would wear now is not what I would have worn 30 years ago. Buy your big diamond now because what you want in 30 years might be twice the price. Who cares what others wear? Chicago area: 1-2 ct
Rock what you love!

What would you have worn thirty years ago? Smaller?

 

[solgen]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Wear what you want! If people feel bad and ostracize you then so be it. Just ignore their jealousy.

Around here it seems that bigger is better even if it's come horrendously ugly I2-I3 rock. 2ct is quite common but anything from 1.5-2.5 is normal.

 

[MollyMalone]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Social circles, no. But my work has had an impact on the jewelry I wear on a daily basis. As a prosecutor and, since then, as someone employed by nonprofit organizations, I've wanted jurors, witnesses, clients, etc. to really focus on what's being said, not eyeballing my jewelry.

Plus, I grew up in a Midwestern WASP household where "showiness" or otherwise drawing attention to yourself was greatly frowned upon, and even now, I'm more comfortable with being understated in my jewelry. So my idea of "splashing out" for special occasions is probably a lot less bling than most PSers... and your mileage is very likely to vary from mine

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Avg E-ring center stone.

avg in the U.S. is....1ct
avg here on PS is....1.27ct
avg NYC is....2.63ct
avg No.Cal & So.Cal is.....2.31ct
avg in Florida & Texas is... 2.47ct
avg in the midwest is....68.ct

 

[Snowdrop13]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I live in the UK where diamonds are relatively more expensive and there are fewer good online retailers. Most of the women I know who are my age (late 40's) either don't have a "proper" engagement ring or if they do it's composed of very small stones. My 3 stone 1.36 ctw is tiny by PS standards, but is easily the biggest among my friends and family. I have an OEC 1ct RHR that I find I hardly wear, mostly as I do not want to attract any attention!

I do think attitudes are changing and there are definite signs among my younger colleagues at work that they want bigger solitaires and are becoming more educated about diamonds. More than about 1.25ct would still be extremely unusual, though. It's mostly budget related, I'd say, houses here tend to be very expensive and a young couple will probably prioritise that.

 

[Tourmaline]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

It runs the gamut in my town. It's a rural place that tourists like to visit. Most people who live here don't wear engagement rings (just wedding bands), and those who do regularly usually have one around 1ct. There are exceptions, of course, and most of the exceptions are very stylish women. I find a few nice shirts and pants that fit me well, and then I wear them until they have holes in them, haha! Casual, but not disrepectful - that's what I'd call my usual style. And I wear drab colors like muted brown and gray. I don't wear makeup, but I do brush my hair, haha. My 5ct diamond is a total anomaly in my physical presentation. We have a house that is nicer than the way I dress (and I dress for comfort, but I don't wear bright colors or things with pictures, or sweats), but most people don't come to my house. So I assume most people are confused by my diamond. They might assume it was fake, but I am not glitzy, so I think it would surprise them more if it were fake than if it's real. Very few people I know have said anything to me about it, probably because it confuses them. I get compliments from strangers. I live in a safe area, so I don't worry about being harmed. Basically, I rock my diamond and I love it and it brings me joy, so the rest doesn't matter. I spend most of my time with my kids, though, rather than a social circle.

 

[partgypsy]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Social circles, no. But my work has had an impact on the jewelry I wear on a daily basis. As a prosecutor and, since then, as someone employed by nonprofit organizations, I've wanted jurors, witnesses, clients, etc. to really focus on what's being said, not eyeballing my jewelry.

Plus, I grew up in a Midwestern WASP household where "showiness" or otherwise drawing attention to yourself was greatly frowned upon, and even now, I'm more comfortable with being understated in my jewelry. So my idea of "splashing out" for special occasions is probably a lot less bling than most PSers... and your mileage is very likely to vary from mine

I also grew up in the Midwest and people showed their wealth or status by their house or their purebred dog, NOT in large pieces of jewelry. Though at the time my family was doing well my mother continued to wear her original engagement ring (no idea size, half a carat or less? in simple platinum setting). I've heard it can be the same on the east coast as well.

When I visit now, I do see some of my relatives wearing larger stones, but that is a younger generation.

The people I work with, a number with .75-2 carat rings. People through school yes some larger rings there. But my smaller circle of friends either no diamond or very modest ring, and my MIL still has her original engagement stone which is also on smaller side, so it may be frowned upon to get anything too large. I do feel people should do whatever they want, if they can afford it. But because of my circle I would feel strange rocking anything more than .75-1 carat? I probably could rock a larger colored stone, since most people assume they are not very expensive or a simulant .

 

[AdaBeta27]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

...grew up in a Midwestern WASP household where "showiness" or otherwise drawing attention to yourself was greatly frowned upon...

(and also in reply to what PartGypsy said...)

Yes, Midwest seems to be a bit weird if not sometimes downright "Amish" about women's jewelry. My dad thinks my 6mm RB everyday ring is a "BIG!" diamond. But, he gave my mother a .25ct when they got engaged, and never even considered any anniversary upgrade after that. Fortunately, my aunt willed my mother a spectacular diamond ring. And after 30 yrs, my sister still has only the same .33ct diamond she got engaged with, which she doesn't even wear anymore since the original mounting broke. She wears her battered old yellow gold wedding band.
When I lived down South, I bought myself a big H&A diamond and an estate diamond that's just short of 2ct. Urban professional women all had nice showy diamond rings and wore them every day. I can't wear those here. I got a pawn shop diamond for an everyday ring because all my good stones were too far outside the norms for small town life.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

The diamonds of my friends and family average around 1 ct. and I live in the southeast US in a smaller town outside a larger city. I wore a 1 ct diamond for around 30 years before getting a new anniversary diamond ring. I went from 1.6 cts to a 2.3 ct AVR, and I do feel like my diamond is over the top in certain places. I think I should have not gone over 2 cts, to be honest. The thing is, every single person I know wears their original diamond rings from the time of getting married mostly in their early 20's. I have no desire to stand out or show off. So it would be more comfortable to me to have more than one smaller diamond ring that one huge one.

 

[AdaBeta27]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Avg E-ring center stone.

avg in the U.S. is....1ct
avg here on PS is....1.27ct
avg NYC is....2.63ct
avg No.Cal & So.Cal is.....2.31ct
avg in Florida & Texas is... 2.47ct
avg in the midwest is....68.ct

And that's what I like about the South.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

To be honest, as much as I like diamonds, I don't go around inspecting everyone's rings, so I don't really know how big their rocks are. I would guess that many in my social circle are above average carat size, but again, unless a ring is very dynamic in some way, I'm not really paying much attention. I don't know that I'd feel "weird" about a giant rock in my social circle because I wouldn't buy it to please them - I'd buy it/wear it to please me.

 

[pearaffair]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Such an interesting thread! I'm fascinated by these sorts of things.

 

[kb1gra]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

6mm is my sweet spot.

I work with people a lot older than I am who might have a 1/2ct at the most. My friends are all in the 1/2 to 3/4ct mall store ring zone.

I have a 1.71 center 3 stone and it is a whopper. I almost never wear it, but I wear my 1.01 cushion every day or sometimes my .88 round solitaire. I just feel a lot more "normal" with my smaller rings on and I really like the size.

Working on a 6mm dimensions radiant fancy yellow now

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Avg E-ring center stone.

avg in the U.S. is....1ct
avg here on PS is....1.27ct
avg NYC is....2.63ct
avg No.Cal & So.Cal is.....2.31ct
avg in Florida & Texas is... 2.47ct
avg in the midwest is....68.ct

And that's what I like about the South.

Everything is bigger in Texas...

 

[kenny]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

To be honest, as much as I like diamonds, I don't go around inspecting everyone's rings, so I don't really know how big their rocks are.

I don't "go around inspecting everyone's ring" either.
I also don't walk up to them and pull out my calipers to measure the diameter.
Neither do I unmount the diamonds and place them on a scale.

But at a glance we can guess approximate size.
That's all we're talking about here.

 

[Queenie60]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I live in a small upscale suburb in Northern California. Most of the women here have 2 carat and up - last night I had dinner with an older women ( 70 ish), very stylish and she was wearing a whopping 10 carat center stone with smaller (i would guess 1 carat each) stones on the sides. She allowed me to try it on!!! Wow! I wouldn't go that large but certainly love to admire. 2 carat plus, plus seems to be the norm around here now that I think about it. And all of the ladies wear their diamonds very well I must say! Love this thread, very interesting.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

To be honest, as much as I like diamonds, I don't go around inspecting everyone's rings, so I don't really know how big their rocks are.

I don't "go around inspecting everyone's ring" either.
I also don't walk up to them and pull out my calipers to measure the diameter.
Neither do I unmount the diamonds and place them on a scale.

But at a glance we can guess approximate size.
That's all we're talking about here.

I didn't mean that in the literal sense, kenny and I understood that this thread was about approximate sizes/general observations
My point was that unless a ring is dynamic in some way, I usually don't notice it. Sure, I could take a guess at a size, but again, unless someone is doing something that makes me notice their ring (talking with their hands, holding up a glass of wine, etc.), I probably might not even see their ring. I couldn't even tell you what the rings look like of the majority of women in my social circle. I have one friend that wears a 4 carat solitaire - that one I notice!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Under a carat is the norm, but that's not me Mine is a smidge over 1ct in a halo and I wear it with a 5ct eternity. No shame and I would wear a lot larger if I could afford it!

 

[packrat]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I'm hugely curious (cough*nosey*cough) about others' jewelry, especially rings, so I always look, even if it's just a glance. I don't see many large diamonds here..or what *I* would consider to be large anyway. The center of my three stone is .71, and by some standards that's probably large, but not to me. The vast majority that I see around here are .25 or less. And the less would be like..a bit bigger than chip-ish. I had a teensy little chip as my first ering, and I would say a lot that I see are a little bigger than my first. Some of them, if they're bigger, they're not cut very well so they look like flat nothings, no sparkle, nothing is "thrown" from the stone. And, there's been some that flaunt large 2ct solitaires and I think ohhh honey, you have 6 kids and don't work, your husbands in prison, just stahp. There are two women I can think of off the top of my head who have large rings-both wives of business owners I worked for..and I know one for sure has two solitaires-one for each hand, right being original left upgrade-but I'm pretty sure they both have two solitaires, and beautiful. Mostly the women I think would have kick ass rings, don't. The wife of the former NFL player has a small super duper understated diamond.

My three stone is 1.68 and I'd not think a thing to have it be 2 ct total. I have a chrysoberyl that is 7.1 or 7.2mm's and I would be fine w/a diamond solitaire that size. Totally not the norm for here, but I'd wear it regardless b/c I like it.

 

[Laila619]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I wear whatever I like and whatever makes me happy. I don't worry about what other people in my social circle have or don't have. That said, my comfort zone is around .75 to 1 carat or so.

 

[Two4MeTy]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

Interesting reading! I will add though, in my area there is no norm! I just have a super mixed bag of friends, but it goes from just plain bands (that they often don't even wear) to Cartier showstoppers lol. But that's the countryside around dc...you can have the social climber in the financed supercar at the stoplight next to the billionaire in her 20 year old dualie pickup truck with farm use tags. The homes are where that gets sorted out.

I feel like federal/defense folks are issued a well cut .75 solitaire upon hire...so many of my girlfriends have indistinguishable ones! I'm not being ugly, they're beautiful just so very similar! Maybe that's because I don't know a lot of people who've upgraded their engagement ring. They will go with super expensive pearls and kicka$$ diamond studs though! Inherited and purchased.

I still love my 1ct, blingy band, and blingy setting but when my kids are 5 minutes older and I don't feel guilty, I will grab myself the biggest old cut I can and rock it 24/7. Tragically the sales clerk at Safeway probably won't even notice...but it'll tickle me pink. My mom used to walk the dogs in her mink, I guess it just runs in the family

 

[Boo247]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I’m in the UK and I think the average e ring diamond size ‘officially’ is 0.4ct. That’s around what I see here although some ladies have bigger. Of course whoppers are seen in particularly wealthy circles or ‘old money’.

Mines 2.4ct OMC centre, and with the baguettes a tad under 3ct. So i count it as ‘big’ but not by PS standards. Also amoras, moissys etc are the choice for more brides in America it seems but they still seem pretty rare in the UK. I wonder as they get more popular here, if we will see bigger stones as the norm.

And anything over 1.5cts get my attention but I’ve coo’d over much smaller diamonds before as they’re gorgeous. a friend has a super sparkly 0.5ct pendant that I adore – it really stands out! So I've realised size ain’t everything.

 

[pearaffair]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

To be honest, as much as I like diamonds, I don't go around inspecting everyone's rings, so I don't really know how big their rocks are.

I don't "go around inspecting everyone's ring" either.
I also don't walk up to them and pull out my calipers to measure the diameter.
Neither do I unmount the diamonds and place them on a scale.

But at a glance we can guess approximate size.
That's all we're talking about here.

To be honest... I do! I go around and inspect everyone's rings! Haha ok not inspect, but I definitely notice. I just love jewellery and so I really pay attention.

 

[pearaffair]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

I wear whatever I like and whatever makes me happy. I don't worry about what other people in my social circle have or don't have. That said, my comfort zone is around .75 to 1 carat or so.

Is this due to visual balance on your hand? Just curious which other factors are at play here; if not social circles, what creates your comfort zone? Practicality? I imagine a 3 carat ring might get in the way!

 

[kenny]

Re: Social circles: what size stone would you feel weird abo

To be honest, as much as I like diamonds, I don't go around inspecting everyone's rings, so I don't really know how big their rocks are.

To be honest... I do! I go around and inspect everyone's rings! Haha ok not inspect, but I definitely notice. I just love jewellery and so I really pay attention.

OMG!
You and momhappy vary!