So spill! How many times have you upgraded/will you upgrade?

[iluvcarats]

Date: 8/24/2008 6:00:07 PM
Author: bebe
I am about to make the plunge. 30 yrs. I don''t even wear my original ER and Bands. I bought a Tiffany band about 5yrs. ago and added 2 Facets/Signed Pieces Eternity bands.

In Sept., we are going to NYC and I''m keeping my fingers crossed my search comes to an end. Only problem, like a true PS''er, I can''t make up my mind what I want.

OOOH! A project! Let us know if we can help!!!
Please?

 

[UCLABelle]

New projects are always fun! Still working on finding a mounting for my blue topaz

On a side-note, I am still shocked at how a "fun" thread turns into something that seems so judgmental?! I almost feel as though these boards are no longer fun, and educational. My husband and I just finished reading the whole thread, and are laughing at the transition...I do not mind occasional opinions by all people, but the "occasional" opinions are becoming excessive.

And even though I respect the posts that are "probably" directed at me (never 100% sure), I think I am officially done here.

Whatever happened to "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"???? Or is that just what we tell kids...and the older you get, the less inclined you are to believe in that statement?

 

[nclrgirl]

Date: 8/24/2008 6:07:19 PM
Author: coatimundi
Once--shape change...and bigger stone. And I may do it again. I like big stones--well big for me anyway. (size 4 finger)

For me and hubby, the sentimentality is in the ring finger being occupied, not the ring itself. I''m not sentimental about the ring as an object. I also have a 3 stone ring that I wear as an alternate ring with a wedding band. And, I''m in the process of planning another colored stone ring

(heh heh)--this will also be worn on that finger with a wedding band.

I don''t wear rings on my right hand, so ALL of my rings are/will be wedding/erings whatevah.

Some people are indecisive. I''m one of them. If I had to choose a single style for an ering to wear for the rest of my life, I''d be waiting...the rest of my life.

I like options, and I don''t like rules!

Ha! I love this quote!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

i feel you belle, i feel you...

 

[Miranda]

Date: 8/22/2008 8:29:29 AM
Author: HollyS
To serial upgraders,(and that isn''t everyone who weighed in here), my husband''s comment about this thread was:

''How do you ignore the importance and significance of the rings you were married with, only to replace them with set after set, year after year? How can you replace sentimentality and something so sacred with just another piece of jewelry -- no matter how nice?''

I have a feeling quite a few men feel that way.

Here''s how I feel...How can I place material importance on the vows and promises made while making the most important commitment of my entire life? To me, a wedding band or engagement ring is a thing. Things are meaningless to me. They''re fun to have, but, I am not defined by things. My marriage is not defined or symbolized by a thing. My wedding vows and the promises made to my husband live everyday in my heart.

 

[luvmyhalo]

Date: 8/24/2008 7:52:28 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 8/22/2008 8:29:29 AM
Author: HollyS
To serial upgraders,(and that isn''t everyone who weighed in here), my husband''s comment about this thread was:

''How do you ignore the importance and significance of the rings you were married with, only to replace them with set after set, year after year? How can you replace sentimentality and something so sacred with just another piece of jewelry -- no matter how nice?''

I have a feeling quite a few men feel that way.

Here''s how I feel...How can I place material importance on the vows and promises made while making the most important commitment of my entire life? To me, a wedding band or engagement ring is a thing. Things are meaningless to me. They''re fun to have, but, I am not defined by things. My marriage is not defined or symbolized by a thing. My wedding vows and the promises made to my husband live everyday in my heart.

Well said Miranda! I couldn''t agree more!!!!!

 

[decodelighted]

I''ve been married for 2 yrs after being engaged for one ... and haven''t changed my stone at all (nor would I want to) ... but I did make a functional adjustment of my original setting -- changing prongs is the easiest way to explain it. It wasn''t a style issue as much as it was a function issue -- prongs were pointy with diamonds on them & were impossible to press down enough when the center stone kept coming loose. Though I do like the *look* of the finished product more I suppose. Its still not perfectly symmetrical. But sometimes its does more harm than good to continue to tinker. I''d never want to risk my stone in order to achieve the elusive "perfection".

I''ll admit that there are many rings I see that I love immensely. And earrings & pendants etc etc. Right now my priorities don''t include a lot of bling purchases (sadly

) so I admire from afar.

Practicality is a great check against shopping spree regret! I''m sure if I was more fast & easy with the $$$ that I''d end up regretting a lot more purchases ... or 2nd guessing myself more. But by the time I get a new beauty its almost for sure that I''ve been crushing on it for at least a year ... if not TWENTY years. Seriously.

 

[Ava15]

I totally agree with Miranda.

My husband lost his wedding ring two or three years ago. I don''t know if it will ever turn up. But it''s love and commitment that we have for each other that lives on regardless of whether there is a band of gold...or platinum...on our fingers. What if we couldn''t afford such a ring...or my recent upgrade? They are symbols but they are not what guarantees a happy, long marriage.

 

[luvmyhalo]

Date: 8/24/2008 7:17:07 PM
Author: UCLABelle
New projects are always fun! Still working on finding a mounting for my blue topaz

On a side-note, I am still shocked at how a ''fun'' thread turns into something that seems so judgmental?! I almost feel as though these boards are no longer fun, and educational. My husband and I just finished reading the whole thread, and are laughing at the transition...I do not mind occasional opinions by all people, but the ''occasional'' opinions are becoming excessive.

And even though I respect the posts that are ''probably'' directed at me (never 100% sure), I think I am officially done here.

Whatever happened to ''if you don''t have something nice to say, don''t say anything at all''???? Or is that just what we tell kids...and the older you get, the less inclined you are to believe in that statement?

I hear ya! I''ve been on PS for about 9 months and I often refrain from posting on certain threads because so many of them turn into personal attacks. Who the heck wants that from a diamond forum? Life is difficult enough, can''t we just enjoy looking a sparklies??!!

 

[Miranda]

Seriously! Ditto Belle! I responded a few minutes ago when I got to Holly''s question because she and her DH seemed interested. *sigh* I see that was not the intent after reading further.

To answer the question (if this thread is still on track) I upgraded my setting at 5 years. At 10 years, I sold the old setting, set the old stone into an earring (and obviously bought a matching one), and bought a larger stone and new setting. This is my current ring. I will upgrade again...In fact I was just doing a bit of shopping earlier today!!!!!

 

[Miranda]

Date: 8/24/2008 7:58:50 PM
Author: Ava15
I totally agree with Miranda.

My husband lost his wedding ring two or three years ago. I don''t know if it will ever turn up. But it''s love and commitment that we have for each other that lives on regardless of whether there is a band of gold...or platinum...on our fingers. What if we couldn''t afford such a ring...or my recent upgrade? They are symbols but they are not what guarantees a happy, long marriage.

Haha Ava! I''d be a mess if I placed a lot of symbolism in DH''s wedding band! He''s lost a few!

 

[UCLABelle]

Deco-I would NEVER change your asscher either....it is so beautiful. Haven''t seen recent pics of it lately....perhaps an new thread update is due?! It is one of my top 5 rings on PS!

Miranda and Luvmyhalo- I am glad I am not the only one who has these feelings....

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 8/24/2008 8:00:55 PM
Author: luvmyhalo

Date: 8/24/2008 7:17:07 PM
Author: UCLABelle
New projects are always fun! Still working on finding a mounting for my blue topaz

On a side-note, I am still shocked at how a ''fun'' thread turns into something that seems so judgmental?! I almost feel as though these boards are no longer fun, and educational. My husband and I just finished reading the whole thread, and are laughing at the transition...I do not mind occasional opinions by all people, but the ''occasional'' opinions are becoming excessive.

And even though I respect the posts that are ''probably'' directed at me (never 100% sure), I think I am officially done here.

Whatever happened to ''if you don''t have something nice to say, don''t say anything at all''???? Or is that just what we tell kids...and the older you get, the less inclined you are to believe in that statement?

I hear ya! I''ve been on PS for about 9 months and I often refrain from posting on certain threads because so many of them turn into personal attacks. Who the heck wants that from a diamond forum? Life is difficult enough, can''t we just enjoy looking a sparklies??!!

Ditto, thritto!!

I just want to look at and talk abt sparklies!

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 8/24/2008 3:23:14 PM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/24/2008 10:27:36 AM
Author: arjunajane

Date: 8/24/2008 9:30:58 AM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/24/2008 9:12:49 AM
Author: rob09
''The judgements and assumptions being made by some in this thread make me sad.. ''

I think that we have had many balanced posts here - maybe you can point out what bothers you instead of alluding to something???

There will always be those who dislike the ''judgements and assumptions'' of others, while proving they are fully capable of making their own ''judgements and assumptions''. And believing, for some reason, that they are taking the high road. Uh huh. How many times lately have we heard the phrase, ''it makes me sad''? Please. while

I think the gal who said she finds herself buying diamonds ''when she has the urge, and later regrets the purchase'',(the paraphrasing is mine), more than proves any assumption or judgement I''ve been accused of making about ''upgrade fever''. For some, it is the ''desire to acquire'' that sparks their constant left hand changes. Which is all I''ve ever really ''alluded'' to in my own posts.

HollyS, I will quote yourself from earlier in this thread

''Here are my assumptions: I assume that people who were married prior to having any real money may want to upgrade at a certain point. I assume that if the guy did a ''surprise!'' engagement, and is okay with the gal changing the setting, etc, they will pick a different ring. I assume that a couple who have been married umpteen years will want to celebrate that, and sometimes they both get a new ring(s). I assume that if a diamond or the setting becomes damaged in some way, that might translate to an upgrade. I assume that if you have 4 or 5 rings in 4 or 5 years; or you''ve simply just changed your mind more than once while engaged . . . well, I assume there are bigger issues at play. ''

Now, puh-lease, point out to me anywhere in my original post is there a judgement or assumption?

Both yourself and Rob09 - whom I was of course referring to, but did not quote or name - felt the need to jump to your defence and attack me. If you are so confident in the intention of your posts, why the need for personal attacks. ?
I fail to see how expressing my opinion constitutes ''taking the high road''..

I have no intention of entering a slinging match with yourself and Rob09, as it has no bearing to the original question of this thread, and neither do your ''analysis'' of other posters'' personal lives..Perhaps it is time for some personal reflection on why the practice of women upgrading seems to offend you so, hmm?

Uh, I don''t believe I personally called you out. Like you just did with me. I was respondiing to rob09.

You were responding to Rob09 quoting me - pls read it more carefully.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 8/24/2008 5:00:42 PM
Author: rob09
''I think for anybody reading this thread it will be clear, but for you and HollyS I will point it out, seeing as you are the only two that felt the need to respond to my post in a defensive matter.
Yes, the fact we can''t have a fun discussion without judgements being passed about people whom neither of you know anything about does make me sad. It is not in the spirit nor intention of PS, full stop''

This is the biggest b*shit I have heard in a while. It is disrespectful and dishonest (You want a judgment? You got one). If you don''t bother reading the posts, then please don''t comment. I have been on this forum for quite a while and I pride myself on posting balanced views, respecting other people''s values, attitudes and behaviors, whether those correspond to mine or not. So much for the PS spirit. Pathetic.

In case you have not read my last post (where I am clearly offended I guess) - here it is:

''People choose to spend their money on all sorts of things - any choices may seem pathetic/frivolous to others if they do not value the same things. If both partners are OK with it - I am going to be the last one to criticize. That also goes for the assumption that people associate special feelings with their first e-ring - that may or may not be true. No rights or wrongs - just differences in preferences and attitudes. So ... happy upgrading !!!''

Rob, you can pick and choose which of your comments to re hash to support yourself and your attack on me, but your other posts are still there, such as (and I highlight where you have passed judgement on people you know nothing about):

"Honestly, if by "upgrade" we mean a bigger diamond, I am not sure what "the situation" could be when people choose to upgrade while they are still engaged. Changing the setting is a different matter I think. And I do concur with PP: if a woman upgrades several times while engaged, then that is probably a good indicator of things to come after marriage. If the guy is not OK with it and fails to address it early enough (or indeed run for the hills), then he certainly bears some of the "blame".

Why am I dishonest? This is your post, no? If you have changed this opinion in the last couple pages, good for you.

Whatevs, I''m done with this thread.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 8/24/2008 7:17:07 PM
Author: UCLABelle
New projects are always fun! Still working on finding a mounting for my blue topaz

On a side-note, I am still shocked at how a ''fun'' thread turns into something that seems so judgmental?! I almost feel as though these boards are no longer fun, and educational. My husband and I just finished reading the whole thread, and are laughing at the transition...I do not mind occasional opinions by all people, but the ''occasional'' opinions are becoming excessive.

And even though I respect the posts that are ''probably'' directed at me (never 100% sure), I think I am officially done here.

Whatever happened to ''if you don''t have something nice to say, don''t say anything at all''???? Or is that just what we tell kids...and the older you get, the less inclined you are to believe in that statement?

I hope you don''t leave. I would miss you a lot.

I am happy for you, love your ring, loved seeing your wedding pics, etc... I just wish we could have met while you were here. Stick around, please..

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 8/24/2008 11:39:23 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 8/24/2008 7:17:07 PM
Author: UCLABelle
New projects are always fun! Still working on finding a mounting for my blue topaz

On a side-note, I am still shocked at how a 'fun' thread turns into something that seems so judgmental?! I almost feel as though these boards are no longer fun, and educational. My husband and I just finished reading the whole thread, and are laughing at the transition...I do not mind occasional opinions by all people, but the 'occasional' opinions are becoming excessive.

And even though I respect the posts that are 'probably' directed at me (never 100% sure), I think I am officially done here.

Whatever happened to 'if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all'???? Or is that just what we tell kids...and the older you get, the less inclined you are to believe in that statement?

I hope you don't leave. I would miss you a lot.

I am happy for you, love your ring, loved seeing your wedding pics, etc... I just wish we could have met while you were here. Stick around, please..

Absolutely, pls don't let this influence you to leave UCLA.belle.

I'm sorry if my posts in this thread in any way contributed to that, I know I went off topic and I apologize to anybody whom this annoyed.
I just agree 110% , which was my original point - it was disappointing to see all the judgements in what would otherwise just have been a fun thread.

And if anybody wants to say I'm "taking the high road" etc by pointing this out, then no worries, I'll stay up here thanks !

 

[UCLABelle]

Oh no I meant leave the thread, and any other threads that are (or I would create) that may cause similar posts So sweet of you two gals though!!!! Arjunajane---has nothing to do with your posts

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/24/2008 11:49:51 PM
Author: arjunajane

Date: 8/24/2008 11:39:23 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 8/24/2008 7:17:07 PM
Author: UCLABelle
New projects are always fun! Still working on finding a mounting for my blue topaz

On a side-note, I am still shocked at how a ''fun'' thread turns into something that seems so judgmental?! I almost feel as though these boards are no longer fun, and educational. My husband and I just finished reading the whole thread, and are laughing at the transition...I do not mind occasional opinions by all people, but the ''occasional'' opinions are becoming excessive.

And even though I respect the posts that are ''probably'' directed at me (never 100% sure), I think I am officially done here.

Whatever happened to ''if you don''t have something nice to say, don''t say anything at all''???? Or is that just what we tell kids...and the older you get, the less inclined you are to believe in that statement?

I hope you don''t leave. I would miss you a lot.

I am happy for you, love your ring, loved seeing your wedding pics, etc... I just wish we could have met while you were here. Stick around, please..

Absolutely, pls don''t let this influence you to leave UCLA.belle.

I''m sorry if my posts in this thread in any way contributed to that, I know I went off topic and I apologize to anybody whom this annoyed.
I just agree 110% , which was my original point - it was disappointing to see all the judgements in what would otherwise just have been a fun thread.

And if anybody wants to say I''m ''taking the high road'' etc by pointing this out, then no worries, I''ll stay up here thanks !

Well, if I have to be lumped with anyone, I''ll certainly take rob09. He seems reasonable, and lacking in BS.

You know, . . . .oh forget it. I might as well be the stick figure in TGal''s avatar. It''s become pointless to ask a question and expect a reasonable, considered response. Once more a thread has been hijacked by people who make it all about them, and how pissed they are at those who dare question. As if you, personally, were the focus, ever, of anyone''s viewpoint.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 8/24/2008 11:54:21 PM
Author: UCLABelle
Oh no I meant leave the thread, and any other threads that are (or I would create) that may cause similar posts So sweet of you two gals though!!!! Arjunajane---has nothing to do with your posts

Oh ok ! good to know - I think that sounds like a good idea...

 

[Ali]

Please make sure your responses are to the original question. There is no need to judge/analyze/evaluate anyone here. Keep it on track.

 

[minebender]

Quote from coatimundi:

Once--shape change...and bigger stone. And I may do it again. I like big stones--well big for me anyway. (size 4 finger)

For me and hubby, the sentimentality is in the ring finger being occupied, not the ring itself. I'm not sentimental about the ring as an object. I also have a 3 stone ring that I wear as an alternate ring with a wedding band. And, I'm in the process of planning another colored stone ring

(heh heh)--this will also be worn on that finger with a wedding band.

I don't wear rings on my right hand, so ALL of my rings are/will be wedding/erings whatevah.

Some people are indecisive. I'm one of them. If I had to choose a single style for an ering to wear for the rest of my life, I'd be waiting...the rest of my life.

I like options, and I don't like rules!

Great post!

I especially agree with the last line...my philosophy is to live and let live.

I'm also looking for a colored e-ring..I think I'll probably end up with a half a dozen e-rings by the time I'm finished.

 

[BrownEyedCountryGirl75]

I can''t imagine ever "upgrading" or changing my ring... I absolutely love it...

However, I can totally see "bling" for all occassions !!!

 

[westjenn]

Date: 8/22/2008 6:12:31 PM
Author: justjulia
I love it, ''serial upgraders.'' That made my day.

Well, we''re old married folks who have been through a whole lot of life experiences together. Jewelry is just another way we provide pleasure for each other. I like ''serial pleasure exchangers.'' How about that?

JustJulia: I LOVE how you put this! I agree 110%!!

 

[ericad]

Upgraded the diamond and ring 3 times. Plan on keeping the DH for awhile though - sort of sentimentally attached to him...

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Well, I upgraded my e-ring once . . . when I upgraded my HUSBAND!!! Does that count???

Seriously, though, I have not upgraded yet. I only had one e-ring during my first marriage, and I''ve only had one so far during this (my second) marriage. DH and I fully intend to upgrade my e-ring for our fifth anniversary, though. When we do, my current e-ring will NOT go away, but will become a RHR. I will keep my current wedding band, hopefully forever, unless it gets damaged or lost somehow . . . in which case we would get me a new one. DH may also get me an anniversary band (or two!) at some point in the future, which I would stack with my e-ring and wedding band.

We do plan to purchase my fifth anniversary upgrade from WF, since they did such a great job on my studs and since they have a wonderful upgrade policy. That way, if we want to trade my stone for a larger one, maybe for our tenth/fifteenth/twentieth/etc., we can do so pretty easily. Again, my original e-ring will stay firmly planted as a RHR on my right ring finger, and my current wedding band will stay exactly where it is.

 

[CrookedRock]

No upgrading for me! That was our deal when we bought my stone. Fine by me... I get really sentimentally attached to these things anyway.
What I wouldn''t mind though.... A downgrade. Yup, a downgrade!

I don''t wear my ring all the time bc of its size and how fragile it is... I would love a 2ct Asscher set really low for more everyday wear. Probably a few years away though...

 

[sparkleys]

One upgrade for me, unfortunately not planned, I ripped up my original set getting it caught on a door knob...and went from a .25 center .50ctw to a 1.5 center stone 2.ctw.

oh my goodness, i just got caught reading this by my husband after explaing to him what this particular thread was about, I''ve just been informed it will be my last. good thing i have lots of door knobs in my house

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/25/2008 3:54:03 PM
Author: CrookedRock
No upgrading for me! That was our deal when we bought my stone. Fine by me... I get really sentimentally attached to these things anyway.
What I wouldn''t mind though.... A downgrade. Yup, a downgrade!

I don''t wear my ring all the time bc of its size and how fragile it is... I would love a 2ct Asscher set really low for more everyday wear. Probably a few years away though...

That''s actually kind of funny! I''ve thought the same thing, but mine is at least a couple of carats smaller than yours!

Well, you know, when it has its own zip code . . . .
And I imagine the eye strain from all that flash and fire. . . .
And heavy; I''ll bet your hand is hard to hold up after awhile . . .

 

[justjulia]

Date: 8/25/2008 1:47:29 PM
Author: westjenn

Date: 8/22/2008 6:12:31 PM
Author: justjulia
I love it, ''serial upgraders.'' That made my day.

Well, we''re old married folks who have been through a whole lot of life experiences together. Jewelry is just another way we provide pleasure for each other. I like ''serial pleasure exchangers.'' How about that?

JustJulia: I LOVE how you put this! I agree 110%!!

Tee hee. What can I say? I mean, he likes fresh water fish and coffee making gadgets, and those get upgraded from time to time...