So spill! How many times have you upgraded/will you upgrade?

[Dee*Jay]

I'm on my third diamond and my second setting after 9-1/2 years of marriage. I'm probably done given that this setting was made to fit the specific stone, but you... never... can... tell...

 

[HollyS]

UCLAbelle:

I'm not judging you, then or now. I was originally concerned that you just couldn't seem to be happy with your choice(s). Then I realized that, indeed, you are a perfectionist; and it will be a long process for you.

Actually I do care that you find YOUR RING. I certainly hope that you will, and I promise to rejoice with you when you do. But if you send the next one back, I may just respond with a

 

[Octavia]

I can't imagine ever getting rid of my original e-ring, so if I ever "upgrade" it will just be getting a different ring to swap in and out with my e-ring. I also don't care about getting a bigger diamond, but I really prefer the look of an eternity band with a plain platinum wedding band (which mine will be). I'm hoping for a 1/2 or 3/4 eternity anniversary ring, or maybe if I'm really lucky, an "anniversary of our engagement" ring

, so I can eventually mix and match and stack the diamond rings with my w-band. But that will probably be it for me.

 

[UCLABelle]

HollyS-We can rejoice together!!!!!

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 8/22/2008 10:11:08 PM
Author: UCLABelle
HollyS-We can rejoice together!!!!!

I would love to see someone good at Photoshop put your gorgeous EC in a Legacy type setting. One, because I''m curious to see a step cut in that setting, and two, because I wonder if it wouldn''t be the best of both worlds? You love the EC stone, it meets all your criteria...but you love the Legacy. It would be so cool if the EC worked in that setting

 

[UCLABelle]

Purrfectpear-That would be cool, only problem is that Tiffany won''t set a non-legacy in that setting; and I do not want my diamond mounted in a non-Tiffany setting

However, Tiffany is brining in a few 1.5 emerald cuts with baguettes for me to see (but this only fixes the trilliant issue, not lack of bling one---so is more for curiosity).

 

[Jelly]

I have upgraded once and that was before my wedding. I think i''m sentimental about my set and would rather spend my diamond cravings on other blingy jewelry pieces!

 

[MMT]

After 12 years of marriage this is my first and hopefully only upgrade. I wanted to go from yellow gold and white gold. I also want a little bigger. If I get bored down the road I will just change the setting.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/22/2008 11:59:16 PM
Author: UCLABelle
Purrfectpear-That would be cool, only problem is that Tiffany won''t set a non-legacy in that setting; and I do not want my diamond mounted in a non-Tiffany setting

However, Tiffany is brining in a few 1.5 emerald cuts with baguettes for me to see (but this only fixes the trilliant issue, not lack of bling one---so is more for curiosity).

Do you see a pattern here? You''re going to go look at something you don''t really want. Again. I would encourage you not to make a change until you are sure.

 

[Nocturnius]

Well, my original engagement ring didn't have a diamond at all; it was just a plain white gold band because that was what my husband could afford. So I guess I've already upgraded once.

My problem is this: I don't get attached to jewelry. A diamond is just a diamond to me, and as I said before, he didn't propose with a diamond in the first place. So I have no actual emotional attachment to the ring itself. I also read a lot of, "but I'll have plenty of other diamond rings", which is absolutely wonderful for some, but I'm one of those kinds of people that I prefer one or two really amazing, pricey pieces, as opposed to several smaller pieces. A good example is an old professor of mine, who had at least two diamond rings on every finger of her hand. She probably wore somewhere between $100k to $120k worth of rings. It works for her. But me, I would rather have one really amazing $120k wedding set than have twenty rings that come to that same price.

I know at our five-year anniversary, he wants to give me a diamond eternity band. My dream wedding set is actually a solitaire and a diamond band, and he would like for me to have that one of these days. However, the solitaires we've been eyeing are of a pretty steep price tag, so what we will probably do is get the eternity band at our five-year anniversary and the solitaire at a later date.

So I guess we plan on upgrading my set two more times, first my wedding band and then the solitaire.

 

[minebender]

Quote:

The ring is just a ring though. The love and commitment is the foundation of the relationship, not a piece of jewelry. So I don''t see changing the setting of an engagement ring to be that big of a deal. You''re still just as married, whether you have the original rings, new rings, or no rings! I think most men just want their women to be happy with their rings! So if a change is in order, then so be it.

ITA!

The ring is only the symbol of a couple''s love and commitment to their marriage...it isn''t the marriage, so when I exchange my ring for another, it isn''t a lessening of what we have, it''s just another piece of jewelry.

In my case, I just like having choices. Perhaps that''s why UCLABelle is also working on multiple sets (rather than just being a perfectionist). While I do like RBs, my favorite is a cushion cut..however, I love step cuts as well. I want one of each! If my husband is ok with it, why not?

 

[UCLABelle]

HollyS-Again, thanks for the parenting. I am just looking, to settle that option. Mostly just curious.

 

[Lynn B]

One e-ring stone upgrade, from original 1.53 RB to my current 2.36 RB.

Have changed settings 3 times.

Upgraded studs (original size .90 tcw) once, to the current 1.50 tcw.

Would LOVE to upgrade the studs some day to about 2.25 - 2.5 tcw -AND- the e-ring stone to a 3 - 3.5 or so

, but with skyrocketing diamond prices and the HUGE (INSANE!) price jump at 3 carats, well... realistically -- that probably just ain't EVER gonna happen.

 

[motownmama]

I''m in the camp of NEVER upgrading my ER - but I do love change and my hubby has bought 5 stacking bands for me for special occasions and I''ve snagged 3 more on my own - I mix ''n match with my RB ER.

 

[icekid]

upgrade? naaaaaah, I just plan to get additional rings

 

[Lv2shopp]

My first er my dh (my fiance at the time, lol) and I picked out together. This one lasted 15 yrs. I was going for a new setting and when the diamond was removed from the old setting it was chipped. Weather it was bought that way or it was done when it was removed we will never know. It was a pear and 90 points. So I upgraded to a marquise of 1.75. I still have it. Now we have been married 28 years and I still have the marquise but also have a new 2.58 round brilliant. That will be it. It is my dream ring. I see nothing wrong with upgrading if both agree. JMHO

 

[chelsea3]

I personally do not like generalizations. No two people are alike, no two engagements or marriages are alike. Decisions made by one couple may not be made by another couple. Some are sentimental, others are not. Some spend money on jewels, some may spend it on traveling to exotic locations, gambling, fine dining, sports cars, or climbing Mt. Everest, etc. To each their own. Hey, if you enjoy it and it works for you AND your relationship . . . if you can afford it AND you aren''t breaking the law, GO FOR IT!!! Enjoy life!

 

[Phoenix]

I technically did not upgrade. I added onto my original e-ring (a 1ct RB) with a 3ct after 10 yrs. I''m thinking of upgrading that to a 4+ct. I am also getting another stone (a pear 3.5ct).

I am also planning to upgrade my 2tcwt studs to 3.5ct-4twct studs.

Someone else in another post says they''d rather have one larger stone than several smaller ones. I have to say I agree with this statement. However, sometimes I just have this *urge* to spend money on a piece of diamond jewellery and I just *have* to do it, then later I regret buying it. BUT I still do it and will prob continue to do it (though I am much more aware of the issue now and try to control it), darn my urges!!

. This doesn''t apply to my Tiffany bands though, he he.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 8/23/2008 7:16:03 PM
Author: chelsea3
I personally do not like generalizations. No two people are alike, no two engagements or marriages are alike. Decisions made by one couple may not be made by another couple. Some are sentimental, others are not. Some spend money on jewels, some may spend it on traveling to exotic locations, gambling, fine dining, sports cars, or climbing Mt. Everest, etc. To each their own. Hey, if you enjoy it and it works for you AND your relationship . . . if you can afford it AND you aren''t breaking the law, GO FOR IT!!! Enjoy life!

Ditto everything Chelsea has said, a breath of fresh air.

The judgements and assumptions being made by some in this thread make me sad..

 

[sklingem]

"The judgements and assumptions being made by some in this thread make me sad.. "

I think that we have had many balanced posts here - maybe you can point out what bothers you instead of alluding to something???

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/24/2008 9:12:49 AM
Author: rob09
''The judgements and assumptions being made by some in this thread make me sad.. ''

I think that we have had many balanced posts here - maybe you can point out what bothers you instead of alluding to something???

There will always be those who dislike the ''judgements and assumptions'' of others, while proving they are fully capable of making their own ''judgements and assumptions''. And believing, for some reason, that they are taking the high road. Uh huh. How many times lately have we heard the phrase, "it makes me sad"? Please.

I think the gal who said she finds herself buying diamonds "when she has the urge, and later regrets the purchase",(the paraphrasing is mine), more than proves any assumption or judgement I''ve been accused of making about ''upgrade fever''. For some, it is the ''desire to acquire'' that sparks their constant left hand changes. Which is all I''ve ever really ''alluded'' to in my own posts.

 

[Baklava]

When I ordered my ring, idjewelery told me right away they have a generous upgrade policy. Still, my initial reaction was "Why???" I may gently mention to SO that certain generous gifts of jewelery (solitaire, anyone?) for our 5th or 10th wedding anniversary would make me feel very appreciated, but I'd never get rid of the original ring. It has sentimental value for me.

But of course, seeing that there have been hurt feelings in this thread - I'm not judgemental about other people's take on upgrading. It's a personal decision made between couples and their financial possibilities, so whatever works for you!

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 8/24/2008 9:12:49 AM
Author: rob09
''The judgements and assumptions being made by some in this thread make me sad.. ''

I think that we have had many balanced posts here - maybe you can point out what bothers you instead of alluding to something???

I think for anybody reading this thread it will be clear, but for you and HollyS I will point it out, seeing as you are the only two that felt the need to respond to my post in a defensive matter.

Yes, the fact we can''t have a fun discussion without judgements being passed about people whom neither of you know anything about does make me sad. It is not in the spirit nor intention of PS, full stop.

I have not, nor will I contribute my own story to this thread, as I do not need people like yourselves making presumptions about my personal life, as you have done with other posters..

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 8/24/2008 9:30:58 AM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/24/2008 9:12:49 AM
Author: rob09
'The judgements and assumptions being made by some in this thread make me sad.. '

I think that we have had many balanced posts here - maybe you can point out what bothers you instead of alluding to something???

There will always be those who dislike the 'judgements and assumptions' of others, while proving they are fully capable of making their own 'judgements and assumptions'. And believing, for some reason, that they are taking the high road. Uh huh. How many times lately have we heard the phrase, 'it makes me sad'? Please. while

I think the gal who said she finds herself buying diamonds 'when she has the urge, and later regrets the purchase',(the paraphrasing is mine), more than proves any assumption or judgement I've been accused of making about 'upgrade fever'. For some, it is the 'desire to acquire' that sparks their constant left hand changes. Which is all I've ever really 'alluded' to in my own posts.

HollyS, I will quote yourself from earlier in this thread

"Here are my assumptions: I assume that people who were married prior to having any real money may want to upgrade at a certain point. I assume that if the guy did a 'surprise!' engagement, and is okay with the gal changing the setting, etc, they will pick a different ring. I assume that a couple who have been married umpteen years will want to celebrate that, and sometimes they both get a new ring(s). I assume that if a diamond or the setting becomes damaged in some way, that might translate to an upgrade. I assume that if you have 4 or 5 rings in 4 or 5 years; or you've simply just changed your mind more than once while engaged . . . well, I assume there are bigger issues at play. "

Now, puh-lease, point out to me anywhere in my original post is there a judgement or assumption?

Both yourself and Rob09 - whom I was of course referring to, but did not quote or name - felt the need to jump to your defence and attack me. If you are so confident in the intention of your posts, why the need for personal attacks. ?
I fail to see how expressing my opinion constitutes "taking the high road"..

I have no intention of entering a slinging match with yourself and Rob09, as it has no bearing to the original question of this thread, and neither do your "analysis" of other posters' personal lives..Perhaps it is time for some personal reflection on why the practice of women upgrading seems to offend you so, hmm?

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 8/24/2008 9:30:58 AM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/24/2008 9:12:49 AM
Author: rob09
'The judgements and assumptions being made by some in this thread make me sad.. '

I think that we have had many balanced posts here - maybe you can point out what bothers you instead of alluding to something???

There will always be those who dislike the 'judgements and assumptions' of others, while proving they are fully capable of making their own 'judgements and assumptions'. And believing, for some reason, that they are taking the high road. Uh huh. How many times lately have we heard the phrase, 'it makes me sad'? Please.

I think the gal who said she finds herself buying diamonds 'when she has the urge, and later regrets the purchase',(the paraphrasing is mine), more than proves any assumption or judgement I've been accused of making about 'upgrade fever'. For some, it is the 'desire to acquire' that sparks their constant left hand changes. Which is all I've ever really 'alluded' to in my own posts.

Hmmmm....I think you've mis-interpreted my post.

I was merely saying that *I* have regretted the purchases of *smaller* jewellery pieces. I'd much rather save the money and buy the larger piece(s). I am not against upgrading at all. If one has the means to do it and is not hurting anyone else, then why not!?

And I was not talking about "left hand changes" either. Most of my smaller purchases have involved bracelets, pendants, earrings etc.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 8/24/2008 10:27:36 AM
Author: arjunajane

Date: 8/24/2008 9:30:58 AM
Author: HollyS

Date: 8/24/2008 9:12:49 AM
Author: rob09
''The judgements and assumptions being made by some in this thread make me sad.. ''

I think that we have had many balanced posts here - maybe you can point out what bothers you instead of alluding to something???

There will always be those who dislike the ''judgements and assumptions'' of others, while proving they are fully capable of making their own ''judgements and assumptions''. And believing, for some reason, that they are taking the high road. Uh huh. How many times lately have we heard the phrase, ''it makes me sad''? Please. while

I think the gal who said she finds herself buying diamonds ''when she has the urge, and later regrets the purchase'',(the paraphrasing is mine), more than proves any assumption or judgement I''ve been accused of making about ''upgrade fever''. For some, it is the ''desire to acquire'' that sparks their constant left hand changes. Which is all I''ve ever really ''alluded'' to in my own posts.

HollyS, I will quote yourself from earlier in this thread

''Here are my assumptions: I assume that people who were married prior to having any real money may want to upgrade at a certain point. I assume that if the guy did a ''surprise!'' engagement, and is okay with the gal changing the setting, etc, they will pick a different ring. I assume that a couple who have been married umpteen years will want to celebrate that, and sometimes they both get a new ring(s). I assume that if a diamond or the setting becomes damaged in some way, that might translate to an upgrade. I assume that if you have 4 or 5 rings in 4 or 5 years; or you''ve simply just changed your mind more than once while engaged . . . well, I assume there are bigger issues at play. ''

Now, puh-lease, point out to me anywhere in my original post is there a judgement or assumption?

Both yourself and Rob09 - whom I was of course referring to, but did not quote or name - felt the need to jump to your defence and attack me. If you are so confident in the intention of your posts, why the need for personal attacks. ?
I fail to see how expressing my opinion constitutes ''taking the high road''..

I have no intention of entering a slinging match with yourself and Rob09, as it has no bearing to the original question of this thread, and neither do your ''analysis'' of other posters'' personal lives..Perhaps it is time for some personal reflection on why the practice of women upgrading seems to offend you so, hmm?

Uh, I don''t believe I personally called you out. Like you just did with me. I was respondiing to rob09.

 

[HollyS]

Phoenix:

You were merely an example of someone with an urge to purchase bling. Not because you had a need or occasion, but because you want to. Nothing wrong with that. It is the person who doesn''t want to acknowledge that they are either upgrading or buying simply because they want to; and then for some reason, is offended at the notion that others might think so. I don''t believe I ever said that I question anyone''s values. But the ''assumption'' has been made that I did.

No one should care what I think; this is a forum. I''m only offering my viewpoint. And asking questions. ''Cause that''s what we do here.

 

[sklingem]

"I think for anybody reading this thread it will be clear, but for you and HollyS I will point it out, seeing as you are the only two that felt the need to respond to my post in a defensive matter.
Yes, the fact we can't have a fun discussion without judgements being passed about people whom neither of you know anything about does make me sad. It is not in the spirit nor intention of PS, full stop"

This is the biggest b*shit I have heard in a while. It is disrespectful and dishonest (You want a judgment? You got one). If you don't bother reading the posts, then please don't comment. I have been on this forum for quite a while and I pride myself on posting balanced views, respecting other people's values, attitudes and behaviors, whether those correspond to mine or not. So much for the PS spirit. Pathetic.

In case you have not read my last post (where I am clearly offended I guess) - here it is:

"People choose to spend their money on all sorts of things - any choices may seem pathetic/frivolous to others if they do not value the same things. If both partners are OK with it - I am going to be the last one to criticize. That also goes for the assumption that people associate special feelings with their first e-ring - that may or may not be true. No rights or wrongs - just differences in preferences and attitudes. So ... happy upgrading !!!"

 

[bebe]

I am about to make the plunge. 30 yrs. I don''t even wear my original ER and Bands. I bought a Tiffany band about 5yrs. ago and added 2 Facets/Signed Pieces Eternity bands.
In Sept., we are going to NYC and I''m keeping my fingers crossed my search comes to an end. Only problem, like a true PS''er, I can''t make up my mind what I want.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Once--shape change...and bigger stone. And I may do it again. I like big stones--well big for me anyway. (size 4 finger)

For me and hubby, the sentimentality is in the ring finger being occupied, not the ring itself. I'm not sentimental about the ring as an object. I also have a 3 stone ring that I wear as an alternate ring with a wedding band. And, I'm in the process of planning another colored stone ring

(heh heh)--this will also be worn on that finger with a wedding band.

I don't wear rings on my right hand, so ALL of my rings are/will be wedding/erings whatevah.

Some people are indecisive. I'm one of them. If I had to choose a single style for an ering to wear for the rest of my life, I'd be waiting...the rest of my life.

I like options, and I don't like rules!