So frustrated! No stones for 6 months!

[cmd2014]

If you are the sole proprietor of a business you are wearing many hats and what's simple when life is 'normal' can be nigh impossible in a storm.

As a small business owner, I would ask someone to email customers on my behalf. And be honest about delays if they are happening. Being sick isn't the issue; being less than honest about shipping dates is. You don't stop being responsible for people's money because life happens. At least not if you want to stay in business afterwards. (I have been unexpectedly sick. I have called customers from the hospital to apologize and cancel work that I was expecting to be able to do. That's life when you are the sole proprietor of a business.)

 

[digdeep]

I've owned businesses too, and never had to face situations that sunk me, but I've seen how difficult those situations can be----and that was my comment. My opinion stands that some storms are too much-- some situations/treatments can cause ADL's to be impossible. Does Strawrose deserve to get her things back......of course! I hope and believe that she will........ however, given that others who know this vendor came on and specifically said this was not in the nature of the vendor......... I'm guessing this is a most serious situation and not a 'life happens' thing...........

 

[strawrose]

I've owned businesses too, and never had to face situations that sunk me, but I've seen how difficult those situations can be----and that was my comment. My opinion stands that some storms are too much-- some situations/treatments can cause ADL's to be impossible. Does Strawrose deserve to get her things back......of course! I hope she does........ however, given that others who know this vendor came on and specifically said this was not in the nature of the vendor......... I'm guessing this is a most serious situation and not a 'life happens' thing...........

Sorry, they’re not my stones, but lovedog’s. The one I chose (thebeardedgemcutter) had a 50% deposit and a booking time for February, so I knew it wasn’t him.

As you can see, I would’ve pushed him much earlier for information if it was me.

 

[digdeep]

My mistake---- strawrose : ) ............lovedog's, I think you'll get your stones back!

 

[LemonMoonLex]

If he is ill, whether it is something life threatening like cancer or something that needs immediate attention, it is his job as a seller to either close down his shop momentarily or figure out a solution. Whether it includes refunding everyone for the currently unfinished projects and getting the finished ones sent out, or if he needs to hire help to get everything finished; Its his and his responsibility only to figure out a solution that is fair to his buyers.
I could personally never imagine having a buyers money for so long and not replying to her messages, I would feel awful and neglectful. I would explain what I was dealing with (as much as I was comfortable giving) and let them know how long this unfortunate scenario would extend the wait time and give the buyer options along with a heartfelt apology.
I couldnt imagine doing what he has to you. Here where I live they call it "giving someone the run-around".

It is not the customers fault. This is his store and its important to make good on your word. Buyers are also buyers and most of the time not friends so you can't just not reply or do anything and then 6 months later expect them to understand because youre going through a hardship. We all go through hardships; really awful things, but its still our duty to handle our responsibilities by stepping down and taking a break or figuring it out; not just expecting the buyers to understand while you give up on the promises you made.

The people supporting him that are saying that its not his nature and asking her not to ruin his reputation; He himself and only himself is doing so.
He is making decisions and choices that are not professional.
She is merely describing a very frustrating experience and coming to us for support.
She has been incredibly patient and kind.
This platform here at PS is made for situations like this whether they are good or bad experiences.
I'm saddened by the people saying these things as I would never tell you what you can and cannot share if (God forbid) in the future you experience something negative from a seller and are merely sharing said experience.

And OP, nobody asks for stuff like this to happen. I know your frustration, especially when a seller that you've invested lots of money in doesn't respond to you at all.
Dont feel guilty or awful for sharing the vendors name. Its important for potential buyers to know what they could be possibly getting into while he is still going through what he is.
I applaud you for your patience and am crossing my fingers that this time he makes good on his word and you see a tracking number by Friday. Dust to you for a positive ending!
I'm sure if he delivers beautifully done recuts and gems, that you'd love nothing more than to be able to leave a glowing review, especially if it includes an understanding apology.

 

[lovedogs]

Thank you @TheGarnetGirl ! I'm very confused by people defending him, or implying I'm somehow "ruining his reputation". And it's 6pm on the west coast on Thurs night and no tracking or any further info since he told me he'd send and provide tracking. So I'm waking up tomorrow and filing the dispute. Unfortunately, I honestly don't want these stones anymore because I feel as though I've been lied to, and that makes me mad.

 

[sydneyatl]

Please keep us updated! Best of luck.

 

[Anne111]

digdeep is correct. vendors are also people with life's usual problems, on the other side, spending money on a gem should be fun and not a ordeal. I dunno about the OP's financial outlook, but at some point I would cut losses rather than ruining my appetite any further. If it's no fun, it's no good.

 

[lovedogs]

Well, it's Friday morning and I have a tracking number! It says that usps is waiting for the package, so technically it hasn't been shipped, but this is certainly progress! Fingers crossed that it's shipped today.

 

[chrono]

I hope you get your stones cut as expected. It should never have come this far (posting on a public forum after 6 months) to get results.

 

[lovedogs]

I hope you get your stones cut as expected. It should never have come this far (posting on a public forum after 6 months) to get results.

100% agree!

 

[LemonMoonLex]

100% agree!

Has the package gone out at all or still only a label printed?

 

[Acinom]

I heard from him. He's been sick. Very. I will say that he is a nice, responsible young man. He has always responded quickly to my messages. He is NOT dishonest, and that descriptor is not fair. Please don't judge him by this or ruin his reputation. That would be awful.

Really? Instead of lying to @lovedogs about shipping, he could have chosen to be honest about his condition. Why didn’t he tell her he was seriously ill and the project would be delayed. I am sure many customers would understand. This vendor choose to ruin his own reputation, didn’t he?

 

[lovedogs]

Has the package gone out at all or still only a label printed?

Nope. Just label printed. I feel like I'm just being strung along. So. Angry.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

Nope. Just label printed. I feel like I'm just being strung along. So. Angry.

Agh well....he does have a few hours. Sadly not many.
You know what they say...something like;
"Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst."

 

[lovedogs]

Agh well....he does have a few hours. Sadly not many.
You know what they say...something like;
"Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst."

It just feels like he's doing the absolute bare minimum to avoid me filing a claim. Probably me just being angry, but that's how it feels. I'm definitely still flling the complaint if it doesn't actually get shipped.

 

[Wewechew]

Nope. Just label printed. I feel like I'm just being strung along. So. Angry.

If I were you, I would start the case in Paypal. You can always cancel it (and I wouldn't cancel it until AFTER you actually have the stones in your hands). But that's me.

 

[lovedogs]

If I were you, I would start the case in Paypal. You can always cancel it (and I wouldn't cancel it until AFTER you actually have the stones in your hands). But that's me.

Yeah, I think I will. And I'm DEFINITELY not cancelling until I have the stones.

 

[lovedogs]

If I were you, I would start the case in Paypal. You can always cancel it (and I wouldn't cancel it until AFTER you actually have the stones in your hands). But that's me.

Case opened for both the recut and 4 stones. We will see what happens.

 

[LemonMoonLex]

Yeah, I think I will. And I'm DEFINITELY not cancelling until I have the stones.

Before PS I had this happen and it was the most confusing experience.
It was an artist that I loved and respected and became friends with.
Sadly I found out that the only way to get a response and to get what was promised is to advocate for myself and basically have to force them to finish or give you a refund.
I could not "be nice" and take it any longer.
I had to contact my credit card company and have an attorney close to me write a letter demanding my gemstone back.
I'm not sure what would make a once respected seller be unresponsive and negligent, depression comes to mind but things still need to get done.

I'll share something personal;
When I was a sophomore in high school my boyfriend died. He fell off of a cliff while rock climbing. I too fell, into a deep and spiraling depression. I could hardly get out of bed but I stayed in my room reading, trying to escape reality. Instead of neglecting school I asked my mother to call the principle and explain the situation. Because of the notification, he was understanding and let my mother come pick up my homework everyday where I would then do and complete in my room. This happened for two months.
Just because something tragic or difficult happens you are still obliged to take care of your responsibilities by communicating that you can't and taking a break or by getting some help.

 

[elle_71125]

Nope. Just label printed. I feel like I'm just being strung along. So. Angry.

I get a lot of shipments so I just wanted to chime in and say it usually takes all day before the post office updates the label again. At least from the packages I’ve gotten. So hopefully, he’s dropped it off already.

 

[cmd2014]

Really? Instead of lying to @lovedogs about shipping, he could have chosen to be honest about his condition. Why didn’t he tell her he was seriously ill and the project would be delayed. I am sure many customers would understand. This vendor choose to ruin his own reputation, didn’t he?

This, exactly. It's really sad and unfortunate that he is not well (and I really, sincerely hope that he gets better), but unless he is in a coma, he is capable of contacting customers or asking someone else to contact customers to let them know about the situation and to advise them that their projects will be delayed. Stringing someone along for 6 months is the issue here, not the fact that he got sick.

Lovedogs, I'm sorry this has happened to you. I hope you do receive your stones and that they are what you hoped for. But if not, filing the PayPal claim is reasonable. I have to admit that I would probably have done so months ago. You can always cancel the claim if you work it out with the vendor.

 

[natasha-cupcake]

Hoping for a positive and quick resolution, @lovedogs.

Before PS I had this happen and it was the most confusing experience.
It was an artist that I loved and respected and became friends with.
Sadly I found out that the only way to get a response and to get what was promised is to advocate for myself and basically have to force them to finish or give you a refund.
I could not "be nice" and take it any longer.
I had to contact my credit card company and have an attorney close to me write a letter demanding my gemstone back.
I'm not sure what would make a once respected seller be unresponsive and negligent, depression comes to mind but things still need to get done.

I'll share something personal;
When I was a sophomore in high school my boyfriend died. He fell off of a cliff while rock climbing. I too fell, into a deep and spiraling depression. I could hardly get out of bed but I stayed in my room reading, trying to escape reality. Instead of neglecting school I asked my mother to call the principle and explain the situation. Because of the notification, he was understanding and let my mother come pick up my homework everyday where I would then do and complete in my room. This happened for two months.
Just because something tragic or difficult happens you are still obliged to take care of your responsibilities by communicating that you can't and taking a break or by getting some help.

I'm so sorry that you lost someone special to you at such a young age, @TheGarnetGirl. That must have been a very difficult time for you. I'm so impressed that you were able to ask for, and complete school work during your time of grief and depression. That really says a lot about your character.

 

[chroman]

Just thinking - does the vendor have a return period (on the non-recuts)?

After all you’ve been through, even if the stones arrive will you be able to enjoy them, or would they be reminders of the this whole ordeal?

 

[LemonMoonLex]

Hoping for a positive and quick resolution, @lovedogs.

I'm so sorry that you lost someone special to you at such a young age, @TheGarnetGirl. That must have been a very difficult time for you. I'm so impressed that you were able to ask for, and complete school work during your time of grief and depression. That really says a lot about your character.

Thank you very much, youre very kind.
It was a pain that I had never felt before.
I had dreams of him constantly during that time. I've gone through quite a bit but im not alone in that struggle through life. Many people dont have things easy but I see them all as learning experiences. I think some people are destined to go through difficult things to help them learn and help their soul progress.

Anyways, I shared that extremely personal story to explain that despite going through something unexplainably hard you can still be proactive and take care of your obligations.

Crossing my fingers OP!
And Elle is right! Although usually my shipments update within 2 hours unless something is stuck or something strange happens.

 

[chatoyancy]

I think communication is key. It is responsible to be communicative. If you are ill, friends and family who are in the know will help you. My friend had cancer last year and was going through aggressive cancer treatment. She has two children and her husband has a full time job. She has been communicative with people though. She even has a blog. So many friends and family members stepped up to the plate and helped her. She was not afraid to ask for help and was very grateful for it. People will be understanding, sympathetic, and helpful if they just know what is going on.

 

[lovedogs]

5pm on the east coast and still the package isn't at the post office. Feeling happy that I filed the claim.

 

[lovedogs]

Post office has my stone. Phew! Hoping this ends up fine and the stones are great. As I said above, he seems like a nice person, and I feel for him if he's struggling. It doesn't excuse what happened, but it makes me hope for a good outcome. I think part of the reason I was/am so upset is that I genuinely enjoyed talking to him and was planning to have him cut lots of other stuff for me.

 

[strawrose]

@lovedogs even if he is a good person, this is a good learning experience for him. There will be people less forgiving, so it is good to learn it now.

 

[voce]

@lovedogs so sorry to hear that you had to deal with such a frustrating circumstance. I'm glad you're finally going to get the stones somewhat soon, though way later than reasonably expected.

Going by the comments of a lot of people here, most people are understandably frustrated with the vendor. I absolutely agree that he has been unprofessional and disappointing.

On the other hand, I'm inclined to be sympathetic to his plight. The kinds of things he's doing...making promises he doesn't live up to, yet wanting to redeem himself and make the time drag on to finish a project or perform services, even though the obvious professional option would have been to admit it when something can't be done and to take prompt action in communicating with the customer...all this would make a lot of sense to me if he has been struggling with depression. I have been through depression, and I have gone through cycles of self-deception tricking myself into thinking I can deliver even though more logically I should have been more realistic and admitted I was not capable of doing what I was supposed to do. That was several years ago now, but if my hunch is correct, and he is indeed struggling with depression, that is why I would be sympathetic (though not so far as to defend him) in this situation. I believe lovedogs has done exactly the right thing, because from personal experience I feel that the only way to get depressed people to take action often times is to be firm and keep pressuring them about the deadlines.

Can't wait to see the stones when you finally get them!