Snooty shop assistants

[ame]

CRAP. I had a good reply and my damn browser died.

Anyway...the short answer was that saying nothing it all is one thing, but people can RARELY conceal their true feelings and thoughts from their facial reaction. So unless circumstances really dictate it, why not just be yourself. Very few people are able to lie or sit quietly with a total poker face. I know I am one of those who cannot. I am very expressive. I'd just rather someone be honest about their thoughts than lie and be fake.

 

[MissStepcut]

In cases where someone's true feelings are prejudiced, I totally agree with ksinger. Or maybe even more generally. I can't count how many times in the last year I was glad I bit my tongue out of social grace.

My little brother is adopted and is half black and 15 years younger than me. I grew up in the Midwest. If I was wandering around carrying him in public (and I often was) you better believe people assumed I was a teen mom knocked up by some minority. Not something that engenders warm feelings, generally. But he people who faked it long enough to find out the real story were prolly glad they did. And of course I was too. I didn't particularly like the death stares.

 

[HollyS]

CRAP. I had a good reply and my damn browser died.

Anyway...the short answer was that saying nothing it all is one thing, but people can RARELY conceal their true feelings and thoughts from their facial reaction. So unless circumstances really dictate it, why not just be yourself. Very few people are able to lie or sit quietly with a total poker face. I know I am one of those who cannot. I am very expressive. I'd just rather someone be honest about their thoughts than lie and be fake.

Perhaps your inability to 'put on a face' is what makes you a bit reactionary to perceived slights??? Just sayin'. I think what most people need to do is simply calm down. NONE of us have never had a bad day, a bad customer, a bad experience at a store, etc. It's in our best interests not to get too excited about someone else's attitude . . . we don't have a clue what's going on in their lives or why they're feeling less than friendly. Either be nice yourself or leave. YOU'LL feel so much better and that's ALL that matters anyway.

We can't control others, we can't complain them into compliance with our wishes, we can't argue them into submission. But being nice has diffused many a situation, so why not try it instead of reacting?

 

[ame]

My point is that sitting there and doing/saying nothing about someone's racist/bigoted behavior just makes the problem worse and reinforces the negative behavior. When they're called out for it, they will either realize their behavior is inappropriate or they won't, but they're at least called out for it, made aware of it out loud, and not just allowing it to be made it "acceptable".

But we're again back off topic.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Last year I passed by an Audi A5 and despite knowing nothing about it, I had to have it so I went to the one and only Audi dealer in San Antonio with every intention of buying one that day (already contacted by bank). Despite being in my mid 30s, most think I am in mid 20s (thank you mama for my genes) and when I very politely asked if someone would help me and show me a new A5, the older salesman yawned and told me they didn't have any but was happy to show me a used one. I told him the car I was trading in was less than 2 years old (it was an Acura TL) and I didn't want a used but preferred a new car, at which time he looked at me with a disgusted look and said "have you ever even owned an Audi?". Needless to say, I was so mad I I couldn't speak but so bad wanted the car, that I went and asked for the manager (not to complain but to get the car) but was told he was busy and the previous salesmen walked up babbling from behind and I kindly put up my hand and said I was done talking to him and left. Funny thing is despite not being in a suit, I was dressed pretty nice and had 600 dollar Bruno Magli's and a 4000 dollar watch on. So if people were judged solely on how they dressed, you would think he would have taken me more seriously but the reality is a lot of these sales people don't have the class or taste to even recognize such things and I believe judge solely on how old you look. Because of things like this, EVERY TIME I get outstanding service (happened most recently with me buying my wife a Chanel purse on my way home from work in which I changed my scrubs for dirty sweats), I get the sales person's card and write them an email when I get home thanking them for and complimenting them on their excellent customer service and make sure I let the management know how pleased I was. My philosophy is to take all that negative energy that I receive from my countless negative customer service encounters and transform it into positive reinforcement for each and every rare occasion someone treats me like a paying customer. Maybe at the end of the day, that leads to that sales person treating someone even better than they treated me....that is my goal!!

Just wanted to say hi to a fellow San Antonian!