Putting your child on a leash????

[ruby59]

And Kitty, I have asked numerous times - If you need to harness your child in parking lots and malls because he will not sit in the carriage or wants to run wild, how do you keep him sitting in his chair at restaurants or keep him from running around there?

And to be extra clear, I am asking posters here who use the harness. How do you do grocery shopping? Restaurants? Movie theaters?

How do you control them in one situation but not others? And to be blunt, are you vigil about where your child can get hurt, but a little less so about where he can possibly hurt others? And yes, your little 2 year old can be strong enough to accidently harm an elderly or infirm person?

 

[OreoRosies86]

And Kitty, I have asked numerous times - If you need to harness your child in parking lots and malls because he will not sit in the carriage or wants to run wild, how do you keep him sitting in his chair at restaurants or keep him from running around there?

And to be extra clear, I am asking posters here who use the harness. How do you do grocery shopping? Restaurants? Movie theaters?

Restaurants and movies? Take them places they want to go when they are age appropriate. Let them order food they want to eat and get tickets for a show they want to see. If they can't handle it or behave accordingly, you leave. The kid usually gets the message after the first or second time they miss a fun outing. In those instances you probably would use common sense and realize if the child isn't up for it, but there are people in the world who don't care and go anyway, even if the child is having a meltdown. Oh well you can't do much about that except say something to the parents and risk confrontation. Such is life on a planet of billions.

Grocery shopping is pretty much the same deal. If you keep the child actively engaged in what is going on instead of dragging them around on errands it isn't that complicated. Let them bag the bananas and choose the juice. Play a game, sing a song. If it is a legitimate safety concern, break out the harness if you have just got to get things done.

You seem to be having a difficult time with the concept that you cannot control your environment and the unpredictable behavior of other people.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

And Kitty, I have asked numerous times - If you need to harness your child in parking lots and malls because he will not sit in the carriage or wants to run wild, how do you keep him sitting in his chair at restaurants or keep him from running around there?

And to be extra clear, I am asking posters here who use the harness. How do you do grocery shopping? Restaurants? Movie theaters?

How do you control them in one situation but not others? And to be blunt, are you vigil about where your child can get hurt, but a little less so about where he can possibly hurt others? And yes, your little 2 year old can be strong enough to accidently harm an elderly or infirm person?

It's simple, children react differently in different situations. The same child who runs in a parking lot and needs a leash there may love sitting at a restaurant and getting to eat. I teach children with Autism and I have several students who will only run in some situations. They have never and will never run from the gym but if we're in the classroom someone always has to block the door. That's all there is to it. I watched my twin brothers when I was 20 and they were two. They had to stay strapped in a stroller if I took them shopping at the mall but they were just fine in a movie theater or a restaurant. If I see children running amok in a place where they shouldn't be I'll mention something to management and if they don't handle it I leave. Done.

 

[ruby59]

Yes, I understand children can be different. But I do not believe every child who will not sit still in a stroller while going through a mall will do so for an hour or more in a restaurant or in a grocery store.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I do have one good story from a Mets game. There was a 3-4 year old boy at the game with his Father and (assumed) Grandmother. The child was running up and down the stairs and up and down the emptier aisles. He then started spitting on people and actually ripped a baseball hat off a mans head and threw it down several rows below. He went to run by me and I grabbed his little arm before something even worse happened. Thankfully the security had seen what was going on and they came and got him. They escorted him back to his oblivious "guardians" and then escorted them all out of the game. If security wouldn't have come I would have left. That's all that you can really do.

 

[ruby59]

And Kitty, I have asked numerous times - If you need to harness your child in parking lots and malls because he will not sit in the carriage or wants to run wild, how do you keep him sitting in his chair at restaurants or keep him from running around there?

And to be extra clear, I am asking posters here who use the harness. How do you do grocery shopping? Restaurants? Movie theaters?

Restaurants and movies? Take them places they want to go when they are age appropriate. Let them order food they want to eat and get tickets for a show they want to see. If they can't handle it or behave accordingly, you leave. The kid usually gets the message after the first or second time they miss a fun outing. In those instances you probably would use common sense and realize if the child isn't up for it, but there are people in the world who don't care and go anyway, even if the child is having a meltdown. Oh well you can't do much about that except say something to the parents and risk confrontation. Such is life on a planet of billions.

Grocery shopping is pretty much the same deal. If you keep the child actively engaged in what is going on instead of dragging them around on errands it isn't that complicated. Let them bag the bananas and choose the juice. Play a game, sing a song. If it is a legitimate safety concern, break out the harness if you have just got to get things done.

You seem to be having a difficult time with the concept that you cannot control your environment and the unpredictable behavior of other people.[/quote]

But aren't ypu doing the same thing? You are trying to control your environment by puttting your child on a leash to protect him from cars and in a way other people who could hurt him. I am trying to protect my mom and mom in law as well from situations that could harm them.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Yes, I understand children can be different. But I do not believe every child who will not sit still in a stroller while going through a mall will do so for an hour or more in a restaurant or in a grocery store.

Food is one of the strongest motivators ever so believe what you want, lol. I have students who will work for a solid hour for a goldfish cracker. The only way I would get my brothers to stay strapped in that stroller was the promise of pretzels at the end of the trip. And I never said "every", I just shared an example.

 

[ruby59]

I do have one good story from a Mets game. There was a 3-4 year old boy at the game with his Father and (assumed) Grandmother. The child was running up and down the stairs and up and down the emptier aisles. He then started spitting on people and actually ripped a baseball hat off a mans head and threw it down several rows below. He went to run by me and I grabbed his little arm before something even worse happened. Thankfully the security had seen what was going on and they came and got him. They escorted him back to his oblivious "guardians" and then escorted them all out of the game. If security wouldn't have come I would have left. That's all that you can really do.

Then you got lucky. Where I live if you even touched another kid, you could end up being arrested. Also, my mom and mom in law are very old and only G-d knows how much time they have left. Why should they lose out on a good time because of your child's bad behavior?

I have never brought my mom to a sports game. But as far as restaurants are concerned, I have found that management will not alienate any of their patrons, especially in these lean times. They will only offer to move you. And as I said before, there were several graduations parties going on so the place was packed.

 

[marym]

And Kitty, I have asked numerous times - If you need to harness your child in parking lots and malls because he will not sit in the carriage or wants to run wild, how do you keep him sitting in his chair at restaurants or keep him from running around there?

And to be extra clear, I am asking posters here who use the harness. How do you do grocery shopping? Restaurants? Movie theaters?

How do you control them in one situation but not others? And to be blunt, are you vigil about where your child can get hurt, but a little less so about where he can possibly hurt others? And yes, your little 2 year old can be strong enough to accidently harm an elderly or infirm person?

It's simple, children react differently in different situations. The same child who runs in a parking lot and needs a leash there may love sitting at a restaurant and getting to eat. I teach children with Autism and I have several students who will only run in some situations. They have never and will never run from the gym but if we're in the classroom someone always has to block the door. That's all there is to it. I watched my twin brothers when I was 20 and they were two. They had to stay strapped in a stroller if I took them shopping at the mall but they were just fine in a movie theater or a restaurant. If I see children running amok in a place where they shouldn't be I'll mention something to management and if they don't handle it I leave. Done.

I agree with this completely. My daughter is two and a half, and sometimes she is a real hand-full. We have used a harness in situations where I think/know she would likely bolt- amusement parks, zoos, etc. Sometimes you want to give them a little bit of freedom but not be panicked that you might lose them. In other situations like the grocery cart- she may be fine depending on her mood, tiredness etc. She sometimes gives me a hard time being strapped in and sometimes she doesn't. But I still need to get the shopping done, so I don't sweat it if other people give me looks. They don't know me and my life. Heck, there have been plenty of times in my life where I was in the presence of a child acting up. I guess I have always just assumed that the parents were doing the best they can and that children can be unpredictable and that's life. We were all little once, yanno? That being said, I definitely would NOT take her to a movie theatre or a nice restaurant where I don't think it would go well and annoy people unnecessarily.

 

[OreoRosies86]

And Kitty, I have asked numerous times - If you need to harness your child in parking lots and malls because he will not sit in the carriage or wants to run wild, how do you keep him sitting in his chair at restaurants or keep him from running around there?

And to be extra clear, I am asking posters here who use the harness. How do you do grocery shopping? Restaurants? Movie theaters?

Restaurants and movies? Take them places they want to go when they are age appropriate. Let them order food they want to eat and get tickets for a show they want to see. If they can't handle it or behave accordingly, you leave. The kid usually gets the message after the first or second time they miss a fun outing. In those instances you probably would use common sense and realize if the child isn't up for it, but there are people in the world who don't care and go anyway, even if the child is having a meltdown. Oh well you can't do much about that except say something to the parents and risk confrontation. Such is life on a planet of billions.

Grocery shopping is pretty much the same deal. If you keep the child actively engaged in what is going on instead of dragging them around on errands it isn't that complicated. Let them bag the bananas and choose the juice. Play a game, sing a song. If it is a legitimate safety concern, break out the harness if you have just got to get things done.

You seem to be having a difficult time with the concept that you cannot control your environment and the unpredictable behavior of other people.[/quote]

But aren't ypu doing the same thing? You are trying to control your environment by puttting your child on a leash to protect him from cars and in a way other people who could hurt him. I am trying to protect my mom and mom in law as well from situations that could harm them.

You're missing the point. No one can control who is in the crowd (generally), only how you personally cope with it. Some parents cope with unpredictability by leashing their children and some adults choose to cope by not putting themselves into a situation where kids are running around. Protecting an adult from a child is socially dealt with by addressing the parent (or an authority figure who has the power to deal with the situation), or leaving. It isn't the same as say dealing with an unruly drunk adult. Thats just the way it is.

 

[ruby59]

And Kitty, I have asked numerous times - If you need to harness your child in parking lots and malls because he will not sit in the carriage or wants to run wild, how do you keep him sitting in his chair at restaurants or keep him from running around there?

And to be extra clear, I am asking posters here who use the harness. How do you do grocery shopping? Restaurants? Movie theaters?

Restaurants and movies? Take them places they want to go when they are age appropriate. Let them order food they want to eat and get tickets for a show they want to see. If they can't handle it or behave accordingly, you leave. The kid usually gets the message after the first or second time they miss a fun outing. In those instances you probably would use common sense and realize if the child isn't up for it, but there are people in the world who don't care and go anyway, even if the child is having a meltdown. Oh well you can't do much about that except say something to the parents and risk confrontation. Such is life on a planet of billions.

Grocery shopping is pretty much the same deal. If you keep the child actively engaged in what is going on instead of dragging them around on errands it isn't that complicated. Let them bag the bananas and choose the juice. Play a game, sing a song. If it is a legitimate safety concern, break out the harness if you have just got to get things done.

You seem to be having a difficult time with the concept that you cannot control your environment and the unpredictable behavior of other people.[/quote]

But aren't ypu doing the same thing? You are trying to control your environment by puttting your child on a leash to protect him from cars and in a way other people who could hurt him. I am trying to protect my mom and mom in law as well from situations that could harm them.

You're missing the point. No one can control who is in the crowd (generally), only how you personally cope with it. Some parents cope with unpredictability by leashing their children and some afults choose to cope by not putting themselves into a situation where kids are running around. Protecting an adult from a child is socially dealt with by addressing the parent (or an authority figure who has the power to deal with the situation), or leaving. It isn't the same as say dealing with an unruly drunk adult. Thats just the way it is.

It is not a matter of simply not putting yourself into a situatiom where kids are running around. I would never bring my mom to McDonalds or a playground or an afternoon matinee. I used to bring my mom to do her grocery shopping, but stopped when a kid who insisted on pushing the cart ran into her. Maybe I am old, but imo parents are taking their children into adult situations - restaurants where the service is slow and there is nothing to entertain them or to movies at 9PM at night. One parent even got angry when an upscale restaurant did not have coloring books and crayons.

As far as dealing with the parents - to be honest, I am a little concerned walking up to some of them in this day and age. You never know how they might react.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Well I am very sorry that you have seemingly run into every bad child/parent on the planet, but it doesn't change the options you have (leave or notify management).

 

[ruby59]

Management does not always care and leaving is not always an option. And why should it be?

As far as encountering more uncontrollable children, is it me having bad luck or just more of them out there?

 

[OreoRosies86]

Mangement does not care and leaving is not always an option. And why should it be?

As far as encountering more uncontrollable children, is it me having bad luck or just more of them out there?

Maybe you're choosing to fixate on a few isolated incidents and ignore the many fantastic parents and sweet little ones I encounter on a daily basis. Not really sure!

 

[ruby59]

I have 3 of my own, so I am definitely not anti-children. And yes there are a lot of sweet ones out there. But all it takes is one to put my mom in the hospital or worse. Just like you are concerned about that one crazy adult driving like a maniac or that one perv I worry about that one rambunctious child who could severely hurt my mom and mom in law. And unfortunately, in this day and age, for what ever reason, there seem to be more uncontrollable children out there, which is why I started the harness discussion in the first place.

I undertstand and respect your reasoning. Please understand and respect mine.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I have 3 of my own, so I am definitely not anti-children. And yes there are a lot of sweet ones out there. But all it takes is one to put my mom in the hospital or worse. Just like you are concerned about that one crazy adult driving like a maniac or that one perv I worry about that one rambunctious child who could severely hurt my mom and mom in law. And unfortunately, in this day and age, for what ever reason, there seem to be more uncontrollable children out there, which is why I started the harness discussion in the first place.

I undertstand and respect your reasoning. Please understand and respect mine.

Not agreeing with someone's observations completely does not mean I am not understanding or being disrespectful. Its a big world, we all have to adapt as we can.

 

[MollyMalone]

ruby, my son is a few years older than your 22-year-twins, and there was a period of time (when he was 2 - 3, don't remember exactly when) that I harnessed him while shopping, at the zoo, or otherwise scooting around NYC -- after he broke away from me while at Macy's flagship store & hid underneath a clothing carousel as a novel, "fun" (in his mind) way to play hide-and-go-seek.

He had grown too big & heavy for me to comfortably carry in the backpack; strollers are an appreciable nuisance to every else on the congested City sidewalks, in stores, on the subways and buses. Since my use of a harness was actually more considerate of others than you pushing your double stroller would have been, disapproval is something I could live with, had anyone expressed disapproval of the harness to me at the time.

Ever since he was a wee infant, however, he was a model airline passenger, only cried when the drop in cabin pressure made his ears hurt (we always purchased a seat for him; back then, airlines gave a 1/2 price discount on tickets for those under the age of 2) & he was a very good dining companion, happily sat in a high chair, during the same months we used the harness -- although we sure didn't tote him as a tyke into the likes of Jean Georges.

Being a parent of kids prompts the vast majority of us to make certain adjustments in restaurant dining choices; it also makes sense to do so do when you are a "senior" or hosting seniors, don't you think?

ETA: it's not outside the realm of possibility that your mother will get "soaked by a glass of water...spilled on her" accidentally by a waiter. If that had happened, would you have posted the same kinds of comments about waiters?

 

[ruby59]

ruby, my son is a few years older than your 22-year-twins, and there was a period of time (when he was 2 - 3, don't remember exactly when) that I harnessed him while shopping, at the zoo, or otherwise scooting around NYC -- after he broke away from me while at Macy's flagship store & hid underneath a clothing carousel as a novel, "fun" (in his mind) way to play hide-and-go-seek.

He had grown too big & heavy for me to comfortably carry in the backpack; strollers are a huge nuisance to every else on the congested City sidewalks, in stores, on the subways and buses. Since my use of a harness was actually more considerate of others than you pushing your double stroller would have been, disapproval is something I could live with, had anyone expressed disapproval of the harness to me at the time.

Ever since he was a wee infant, however, he was a model airline passenger, only cried when the drop in cabin pressure made his ears hurt (we always purchased a seat for him; back then, airlines gave a 1/2 price discount on tickets for those under the age of 2) & he was a very good dining companion, happily sat in a high chair, during the same months we used the harness -- although we sure didn't tote him as a tyke into the likes of Jean Georges.

Being a parent of kids prompts the vast majority of us to make certain adjustments in restaurant dining choices; it also makes sense to do so do when you are a "senior" or hosting seniors, don't you think?

ETA: it's not outside the realm of possibility that your mother will get "soaked by a glass of water...spilled on her" accidentally by a waiter. If that had happened, would you have posted the same kinds of comments about waiters?

First I think you are mixing me up with someone else. I do not have twins. My oldest is 26. Middle child 22. My baby is 20. I understand the middle part of your post and appreciate that it worked for you. If I had seen you with a harness or others on this board rather than what I did encounter, I probably would have had a different persepective. But I saw what I saw, experienced what I experienced. Hence, my reaction.

As far as a waiter spilling water on my mom, that would have been an accident during the course of his duties. That child had already taken half a dozen passes by our table, so one would agree he was an "accident" waiting to happen. And here I hesitate to use the word accident, because the outcome should have been inevitable based on his actions that someone was going to get either inconvenienced or hurt.

 

[TC1987]

I do have one good story from a Mets game. There was a 3-4 year old boy at the game with his Father and (assumed) Grandmother. The child was running up and down the stairs and up and down the emptier aisles. He then started spitting on people and actually ripped a baseball hat off a mans head and threw it down several rows below. He went to run by me and I grabbed his little arm before something even worse happened. Thankfully the security had seen what was going on and they came and got him. They escorted him back to his oblivious "guardians" and then escorted them all out of the game. If security wouldn't have come I would have left. That's all that you can really do.

"TROW DA BUMS OUT!"

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

No Ruby, parents don't give it much thought anymore about how their childrens actions impact others. i used to feel the playpen was was terrible just as you did the harness. I changed my mind when reality took over and i had to run to the bathroom.
Sometimes an new idea needs time to think about. I can see you see their point, but you still may not like it.

When I read a thread such as this one, I am surprised at how many mothers say, I don't care what anyone thinks about my parenting.
My friends and I cared about what people thought, and I still do. Parenting is hard and demands so much energy, but when you don't care, you raise children who who learn you don't care about anyone else but what your individual family wants and needs. Is it a wonder our schools are so out of control.

Momhappy--- I personally appreciate that your children have good manners(most of time) and you take the time to reinforce it.
It does show you have good parenting skills, for that is what it takes. Children can be guided and trained to have variety of good behaviors . I love kids, between ages 2-12, but i have seen such poor behavior when i go out as well. Kudos to you.

Annette


Please no name calling---I don't care

 

[MollyMalone]

First I think you are mixing me up with someone else. I do not have twins. My oldest is 26. Middle child 22. My baby is 20. I understand the middle part of your post and appreciate that it worked for you. If I had seen you with a harness or others on this board rather than what I did encounter, I probably would have had a different persepective. But I saw what I saw, experienced what I experienced. Hence, my reaction.

Ah, I scrolled back through the thread & now see it's redwood who has 22-year-old twins.
I do hope that reading the responses here has been helpful to seeing harnesses through a different lens, so you'll no longer assume that a mother or father who uses one is either an ineffectual parent or not even interested in engaging with their kids, teaching their child how to behave.

When I read a thread such as this one, I am surprised at how many mothers say, I don't care what anyone thinks about my parenting.
My friends and I cared about what people thought, and I still do. Parenting is hard and demands so much energy, but when you don't care, you raise children who who learn you don't care about anyone else but what your individual family wants and needs. Is it a wonder our schools are so out of control.

Where in this thread has anyone (let alone "many mothers") demonstrated indifference about their child's/children's behavior?

 

[momhappy]

Hi,

No Ruby, parents don't give it much thought anymore about how their childrens actions impact others. i used to feel the playpen was was terrible just as you did the harness. I changed my mind when reality took over and i had to run to the bathroom.
Sometimes an new idea needs time to think about. I can see you see their point, but you still may not like it.

When I read a thread such as this one, I am surprised at how many mothers say, I don't care what anyone thinks about my parenting.
My friends and I cared about what people thought, and I still do. Parenting is hard and demands so much energy, but when you don't care, you raise children who who learn you don't care about anyone else but what your individual family wants and needs. Is it a wonder our schools are so out of control.

Momhappy--- I personally appreciate that your children have good manners(most of time) and you take the time to reinforce it.
It does show you have good parenting skills, for that is what it takes. Children can be guided and trained to have variety of good behaviors . I love kids, between ages 2-12, but i have seen such poor behavior when i go out as well. Kudos to you.

Annette


Please no name calling---I don't care

Thanks for the kind words I also feel the same way that you do in terms of caring what others think. Caring what others think can motivate us to become better at whatever we're doing. When you care what your boss or your co-workers think, you will likely do a better job. The same holds true for parenting - when you care what others think of how your children act/behave, it can motivate you to be a better parent.

 

[arkieb1]

And my question is still the same. If your child needs to be on a harness to keep him safe in a parking lot, do you feel the same in the restaurant if he will not stay in his seat. Because it is just as dangerous. He may not get run over, but he could be badly scalded. And I am just not talking about the child who screams. I can tune that out. But an out of control child running around can hurt an elderly person. I am not talking about bad parenting here or beeing inconvenienced, or children will be children. I am talking about dangers to your child and my family every bit as real as them running loose in a parking lot or mall.

And to "mom." thank you. I think we have similar ideas in how we raised our children.

O.K, I'll answer your question. No my child liked to run in parking lots that was it. I talked to him and interacted with him when we went into the shopping centre, mostly I put him into a trolley and then shopped. When we ate out he was fine, he just sat there. NO idea why he wanted to bolt in front of cars he just did. Kids - they are all different and can be unpredictable.

Now the part about your mother while I am deeply sorry for what happened to her and if it was me and my son, I would have apologised to both her and the people at her table, however, having a wheel chair out in the aisle, or at the "end" of the table of any place is a trip hazard and a general hazard. If you have an ADHD child that cannot or will not sit still or one with autism then I can see how the two together could be a disaster, even a normal child that is active and wants to run off, go to the toilet and has to get past, still a disaster..... If you have an elderly person that could be annoyed by small children or they bug you or a family member in a wheelchair that has to be seated in a position that can potentially be run into, then the best answer would be surely be don't go to places where any of these things can happen.

I got drilled because posters thought I was merely suggesting they not bring their children out in public and now you are saying my mom needs to be extra careful where she goes? Where else would you put a wheel chair, if not at the end? And besides the point, it is where the maitre de (sp) suggested. No one else had a problem - waiters or patrons. Actually, my mom uses a walker. After another incident with a wayward child that almost knocked her to the ground, we put her in the wheel chair as an extra precaution.

My mom was minding her own business, quietly sitting in the chair, enjoying her surroundings. Wish I could say the same for that child.[/quote]


I am going to play devil's advocate here because you obviously can't see anything from any other viewpoint than your own. I have a 93 year old grandmother and an uncle who has MS and is in a wheelchair. When we go out to family things I and other family members always make a point of seating them (so if needed the men in the family or we get men at the place we are at to help get them seated) so they are in a protected section away from walkways and small children and the wheelchair is parked somewhere else out of the way. I go out of my way to make sure they are not near anyone who will irritate them or trip over them, or tip anything on them.

So basically what I am saying here is that I am one of those people who thinks ahead and makes sure that type of situation cannot happen, similarly I think ahead and know that I have a child that can bolt off so I put him on a leash so that the worse case scenario doesn't happen. What is annoying me the most about this post is that while I obviously have the ability to empathise that an old lady got covered in water and got cold you on the other-hand obviously don't have the ability to do the same with anyone that tethers their child.

I fact really we are all dammed if you are and dammed if you don't by people like you, because if I tether my child and he is on the floor for a second while I take a mobile phone call in your eyes I am a bad mother because I am not paying attention to him every single second and if I take him to a restaurant and he runs around not on a leash I am also a bad mother because he is running around.

While I am genuinely sorry that your Mother got covered in water because I would not like that to happen to any member of my family, perhaps the key to this whole thing is really don't you have anything better to do with your time than watch women that do put their kids on leashes and make a whole heap of comments/judgements about that. You say that you are not a Mommy-wars type person, but yet you started this thread stating that in my day I didn't need to tether my kids and you find it "disturbing" therefore you give the impression that you are somehow superior over everyone else that does.

Saying repeatedly that you "just don't get" it with the leashes is like me saying I "just don't get it" with your inability to foresee any possible issues with putting a wheelchair out in the aisle at a place where there are small children. But you see I do get it - not everyone has the ability to see ahead and we all get into situations that we cannot control. (Like having our kids despite our best efforts go nuts in public). Doesn't make you a bad person, doesn't make me a bad person. At least I can emphasise with your situation, you on the other hand are obvious devoid of the ability to emphasise with people with children not as well behaved as your own, and what is worse you feel the need to come on here and make a heap of smug judgemental uncalled for comments about that.

It's really easy to judge other people, honey but it's not so cool when we all judge you.

 

[ruby59]

Wow, and you call me judgmental. I suggest you reread my latest posts, especiaslly the last one. I said numerous times I respected other people's decisions. And I also pointed out had I seen how mothers here use the harness I probably would have had a different perspective.

Also, to be clear. At the restaurant the maitre d' told us where to put her wheelchair.

I suggest you reread your post. I have not been hostile or judgmental to anyone on here. I simply asked questions and as I heard from other mothers began to understand and appreciate their opinions and said so numerous times.

Yor post was uncalled for.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I do have one good story from a Mets game. There was a 3-4 year old boy at the game with his Father and (assumed) Grandmother. The child was running up and down the stairs and up and down the emptier aisles. He then started spitting on people and actually ripped a baseball hat off a mans head and threw it down several rows below. He went to run by me and I grabbed his little arm before something even worse happened. Thankfully the security had seen what was going on and they came and got him. They escorted him back to his oblivious "guardians" and then escorted them all out of the game. If security wouldn't have come I would have left. That's all that you can really do.

"TROW DA BUMS OUT!"

The entire section literally cheered when they were taken out!

 

[misskittycat]

I debated whether or not to even bother posting in this thread...

I have a 2 1/2 year old. Pretty much anyone who spends any time with her asks me how on earth we keep up with her. She has so much energy it scares me. We have to take her to the park to climb and dig and run for hours on end to expend all that energy. We use a leash as a way to help tire her out so she sleeps through the night. She won't hold hands in the street. She likes to run. She's a toddler. They do that kind of stuff. For me, it would be counter productive not to take her out. To keep her at home doesn't help me and she wouldn't have a chance to learn from older kids she sees behaving well in public.

We use a stroller when we can but she has a low tolerance for it.

Spend a day in my shoes and you would be thankful for the leash. Trust me.

 

[MollyMalone]

Might you be a Mets fan, Asscherhalo lover? Everyone at my office is a rabid Yankees fan, or maybe I'm the only one who's publicly "confessed" to being a longtime Mets fan. So I get a lot of grief about it... way more than anything I heard from anyone "back when" about my son wearing a harness

 

[ForteKitty]

And Kitty, I have asked numerous times - If you need to harness your child in parking lots and malls because he will not sit in the carriage or wants to run wild, how do you keep him sitting in his chair at restaurants or keep him from running around there?

And to be extra clear, I am asking posters here who use the harness. How do you do grocery shopping? Restaurants? Movie theaters?

How do you control them in one situation but not others? And to be blunt, are you vigil about where your child can get hurt, but a little less so about where he can possibly hurt others? And yes, your little 2 year old can be strong enough to accidently harm an elderly or infirm person?

First of all, I do not have kids. Even though I do not have kids, I feel offended for parents who choose to use a harness as a preventative measure. I am exasperated at your inability to understand the difference between a child who is harnessed "just in case", and one whose parents don't care if they run into other people.

1) Some of my friends do use harnesses. Their children do NOT run wild, with or without a harness. Sometimes these kids even hold their own harnesses, just for fun. Being harnessed does NOT equate to wild children running around and throwing fits.

2) The kid running around the restaurant who caused the waiter to knock over a cup of water onto your mother. Do you know if his parents leashed him outside? Did you see the parents latch him before they walked outside? I would assume not, because if his parents didn't care enough to contain him inside, they probably wouldn't have bothered with a harness outside. Those parents were bad, period. If my child knocked over a cup of water on an elderly person, I would be groveling at her feet for forgiveness. The fact that she didn't even apologize shows she's a shitty person. There are a lot of people who have children who probably shouldn't. Those parents probably shouldn't have.

3) You are assuming that children who are harnessed automatically go wild once they are indoors and released. Most children I have been around are not like that. Most parents I know are very conscientious about what their children are doing and who they affect, even the ones who harness their children. You assume that parents who harness their children do not care. Maybe some don't. But please don't make that broad assumption for all parents who harness their children. Most parents use harnesses not only to prevent their kid from bolting, but also to protect other people from being run into. It works both ways.

4) How would I control my kid so they don't run around? I'd smack them. My siblings and I were never spanked. The mere thought of being spanked was enough. If my kid ever knocked an elderly person over because they were being wild, they'd be severely punished. It's a good thing I don't have kids because I'm totally old school when it comes to punishment. Yet I would totally use a leash.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Might you be a Mets fan, Asscherhalo lover? Everyone at my office is a rabid Yankees fan, or maybe I'm the only one who's publicly "confessed" to being a longtime Mets fan. So I get a lot of grief about it... way more than anything I heard from anyone "back when" about my son wearing a harness

I am indeed! I work in Brooklyn so there's a few fellow Mets fans at my school. One other teacher even has a Mets "hag tag" tattoo so at least I have someone to suffer through games with!

 

[MollyMalone]

I am indeed! I work in Brooklyn so there's a few fellow Mets fans at my school. One other teacher even has a Mets "hag tag" tattoo so at least I have someone to suffer through games with!

Pour vous! Just released several weeks ago -- I'd share my Kindle release of it with you if I could, I loved reading it
http://www.amazon.com/Mookie-Life-Baseball-’86-Mets/dp/0425271323/

ETA: And here's the audio of his terrific interview with WNYC's Leonard Lopate:
http://www.wnyc.org/story/mookie-wilson-life-baseball-and-1986-mets/

OK, back to the A Leash???? broadcast....