Putting your child on a leash????

[ruby59]

http://mom.me/parenting/6389-kids-leashes/?ncid=webmail1#!/parenting/6389-kids-leashes/item/11_83-kid-leash/

Have things changed since I was a young mom? I see this more and more at my local malls, and I want to scream. I had 3 children very close in age to each other, and I would never even have considered putting my child on a leash. Yet one woman cannot watch one child.

Maybe it is just me, but I find this very disturbing.

 

[monarch64]

I have a 2 year old who is really good about holding hands BUT she will bolt unpredictably. There's no way I could take her anywhere crowded and not have her strapped into a stroller, cart, or carrier. I haven't tried a leash yet. My brother and SIL had one for my niece and it helped tremendously when they were in crowded stores, etc. It was a plush monkey made like a backpack, so basically it was a tether from parent to child, not something that attached to a collar around her neck. I'm glad you started this thread because I'll call my mom and ask her to bring it up tomorrow when we all gather together. I'm excited to try it, but...

With all due respect, why does it bother you if someone else chooses to use a "leash?" Is it because this woman seemingly can't handle keeping one child with her and you were able to easily handle three by yourself? That sounds kind of harsh and competitive. So, if I try using this with my daughter should I just expect the side-eye and major judgment from the past generation who has already been there, done that and did it perfectly and without any help from gadgets??? Awesome.

 

[CJ2008]

I have no objections to this at all.

If it helps you keep your child safe, I don't see anything wrong with it. Although it shouldn't be used as an excuse to be completely distracted - it's a tool - not a replacement for having your attention on what's happening.

Mind you, I don't have children, though...perhaps I'd feel differently if I did...I think I *would* feel funny being the one to do it, though, unless it was a very common thing.

 

[CJ2008]

I have a 2 year old who is really good about holding hands BUT she will bolt unpredictably. There's no way I could take her anywhere crowded and not have her strapped into a stroller, cart, or carrier. I haven't tried a leash yet. My brother and SIL had one for my niece and it helped tremendously when they were in crowded stores, etc. It was a plush monkey made like a backpack, so basically it was a tether from parent to child, not something that attached to a collar around her neck. I'm glad you started this thread because I'll call my mom and ask her to bring it up tomorrow when we all gather together. I'm excited to try it, but...

With all due respect, why does it bother you if someone else chooses to use a "leash?" Is it because this woman seemingly can't handle keeping one child with her and you were able to easily handle three by yourself? That sounds kind of harsh and competitive. So, if I try using this with my daughter should I just expect the side-eye and major judgment from the past generation who has already been there, done that and did it perfectly and without any help from gadgets??? Awesome.

Monarch, it is amazing how many times your posts very much reflect my own thoughts and feelings. I guess that means we might get along really well in real life OR we would be completely bored in each other's company.

 

[monarch64]

I have a 2 year old who is really good about holding hands BUT she will bolt unpredictably. There's no way I could take her anywhere crowded and not have her strapped into a stroller, cart, or carrier. I haven't tried a leash yet. My brother and SIL had one for my niece and it helped tremendously when they were in crowded stores, etc. It was a plush monkey made like a backpack, so basically it was a tether from parent to child, not something that attached to a collar around her neck. I'm glad you started this thread because I'll call my mom and ask her to bring it up tomorrow when we all gather together. I'm excited to try it, but...

With all due respect, why does it bother you if someone else chooses to use a "leash?" Is it because this woman seemingly can't handle keeping one child with her and you were able to easily handle three by yourself? That sounds kind of harsh and competitive. So, if I try using this with my daughter should I just expect the side-eye and major judgment from the past generation who has already been there, done that and did it perfectly and without any help from gadgets??? Awesome.

Monarch, it is amazing how many times your posts very much reflect my own thoughts and feelings. I guess that means we might get along really well in real life OR we would be completely bored in each other's company.

You would be bored to tears, probably, because I would do all the talking. Look at how long we've both been here and our post counts, haha!

Seriously, what are you supposed to do when your child is at that age where they just want to explore? Mine will tolerate a grocery cart or stroller for about 15 minutes tops, now. It's too hot for both of us in the summer to wear her, and she's on the big side for a 24 month old anyway. I guess I feel like the leash is a pretty good solution.

 

[CJ2008]

I have a 2 year old who is really good about holding hands BUT she will bolt unpredictably. There's no way I could take her anywhere crowded and not have her strapped into a stroller, cart, or carrier. I haven't tried a leash yet. My brother and SIL had one for my niece and it helped tremendously when they were in crowded stores, etc. It was a plush monkey made like a backpack, so basically it was a tether from parent to child, not something that attached to a collar around her neck. I'm glad you started this thread because I'll call my mom and ask her to bring it up tomorrow when we all gather together. I'm excited to try it, but...

With all due respect, why does it bother you if someone else chooses to use a "leash?" Is it because this woman seemingly can't handle keeping one child with her and you were able to easily handle three by yourself? That sounds kind of harsh and competitive. So, if I try using this with my daughter should I just expect the side-eye and major judgment from the past generation who has already been there, done that and did it perfectly and without any help from gadgets??? Awesome.

Monarch, it is amazing how many times your posts very much reflect my own thoughts and feelings. I guess that means we might get along really well in real life OR we would be completely bored in each other's company.

You would be bored to tears, probably, because I would do all the talking. Look at how long we've both been here and our post counts, haha!

Seriously, what are you supposed to do when your child is at that age where they just want to explore? Mine will tolerate a grocery cart or stroller for about 15 minutes tops, now. It's too hot for both of us in the summer to wear her, and she's on the big side for a 24 month old anyway. I guess I feel like the leash is a pretty good solution.

I am a total introvert and like the attention OFF me (although in intimate settings like one on one, I do also like to talk a lot...hmmmm...would just be a very lively keep interrupting each other conversation I think

Sorry for the threadjack ruby!

But yes, I am in agreement...if it helps keep your child safe, I don't see anything inherently wrong with it.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I certainly think for children who do not like to stay in a stroller in crowded places (such as Disney World or a big mall), a children's "leash" is a very safe choice. As closely as any of us watch our children, it only takes a few seconds of distraction to lose sight of a young child. In fact, we did see this happen in Disney World. We saw a crying child (around 4-5 years old) and someone got to her before us and led her to a Disney employee to page the parents (we watched to be sure). The child was upset and afraid and I'll bet there was one panicked parent when they realized they were missing one child! Once you see that, you really wouldn't have a problem with the leash. I'd prefer a different term for it, though.

 

[kenny]

I don't mind people walking their kids on a leash, but I hate when the don't bring bags to pick up their poop.

 

[redwood66]

I have twin boys who are now 22 years old. I might have done this in certain circumstances, especially crowded places. It was difficult but not impossible to manage. If I were in a place like a store where I needed to use my hands I taught them to put their fingers in my back jean pockets so I could feel that they were there. They did not like to hold hands too much. Thank god for cross body bags too.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I have twin boys who are now 22 years old. I might have done this in certain circumstances, especially crowded places. It was difficult but not impossible to manage. If I were in a place like a store where I needed to use my hands I taught them to put their fingers in my back jean pockets so I could feel that they were there. They did not like to hold hands too much. Thank god for cross body bags too.

Ha!!! That is the truth about cross body bags! I definitely used one of those on that last Disney trip!!

 

[AprilBaby]

I only did a leash once, at the Grand Canyon. David totally would have bolted over the edge for fun.

 

[packrat]

We never used them, but...we're pretty lame and never really went anywhere when the kids were little to even need them. Had we, yes, we'd've strapped London up. We've been to the zoo a couple time and seen little kids wandering and can't for the life of us pick out the parents. No adults looking around like hey, where's my kid? Just la di da, looking at the animals, then look up and around and go back to looking at the gorilla or whatever. No thanks. I've seen people leave kids in strollers in front of an animal and go across the "street" to throw something away or read a plaque. I've seen them set babies in the portable car seats down and do that too.

Takes all of about 2 seconds for a psycho to take a child. I'd rather my child be on a leash and be held onto by me or JD than be free range and taken. Cripes, I've been in crowds and gotten separated from JD. Kids think it's funny to run off.

 

[LLJsmom]

GUILTY AS CHARGED!!! When my 2 year old son jerked his hand from mine and ran bolted head first down an escalator (thank God I was fast enough), I realized more drastic measures needed to be taken. So nope, no shame at ALL here. That leash prevented a LOT of head injuries (and probably hospital visits)!!

 

[Rhea]

I don't know. I used to think leashes were stupid but in college I babysat for two children very regularly, 2-3 times a week for 5 years. One child would regularly change direction and dear lord I cannot count the number of times he concerned me! I remember once in particular I was taking the younger child out of the car seat and I asked G to do the same trick my mother always did with me, hold on to my pocket or belt loop (G was too old for a car seat so always quickly unbuckled himself and this was before the child safe locks in the back doors of cars). G spotted someone he knew and before I knew it he'd let go of my pocket and dashed across the parking lot.

E was very attached to me and loved to be held or at least hold my hand. G touched everything and couldn't be bothered to hold hands even for a second. Putting him on a leash and giving him the freedom to use both hands while I still had control of him would have been ideal for us both.

Admittedly the same situation might not happen with my own children, who I'd hope to teach not to get out of cars on their own. Or I could have skipped a leash that time and G could have still run across the parking lot. But it scared me like nothing else. So however a care giver wants to control a child and keep them safe is fine by me!

 

[Laila619]

I don't have any problem with it at all. As a mom of small children, you gotta do what you gotta do to keep them safe.

 

[redwood66]

My two had to TOUCH everything!!!! OMG really?! After they were a bit bigger "Put your hands in your pockets" came out of my mouth before we went into any store.

 

[purplesparklies]

I think kids generally prefer the limited freedom these give them compared to being forced to hold hands constantly. They typically look like little backpacks and you can clip onto them if need be. Great way to train a small child in the unsure phase between constant hand holding and being able to trust them to walk with you safely. If they want the freedom, they must demonstrate the ability and restraint to stay with you. If they choose not to follow the rules, they get the lead clipped on for safety reasons. Simple. They learn quickly.

Parents have so darn many things to worry about and juggle when out with small children. What is the purpose of judging them if something works for them? They aren't asking you to wear one.

 

[marymm]

I first saw this back in 1982 in London (I think?)... I was taken aback by seeing a child in a safety harness with a leash but I only encountered it in the heart of London which was thick with traffic (motor and pedestrian), not in the outlying areas. At the time, I thought it was pretty brilliant, and I still do.

 

[momhappy]

I have never used a leash on my children. I must admit that I sort of cringe when I see a child on a leash because I use a leash for my dogs (as do most people). It somehow implies that a child is uncontrollable and/or unable to behave in public. It's not a competition (between who's a "better" parent) or something that implies judgement, it's just a matter of personal preference. If using a leash works for you and your family, then rock on, but it's not something that I would choose for my family. We used strollers a lot when the kids were younger (which are sort of restrictive devices), but once they learned how to walk, we held hands and/or carried them in busy places. We taught our kids pretty early on that some public spaces (like stores, restaurants, parking lots, etc.) were not for running around, etc., so we simply had no need for a leash.

 

[purplesparklies]

I never used one with my kids. I was blessed with two boys who just did well walking with me. A friend, on the other hand, had a boy who would bolt at any opportunity. Seriously. If she let him loose for a second to adjust her bag or grab her wallet, he was off and running. She used one with him. My son was the same age and was so jealous of his friend's "backpack". It was a little doggy backpack. He begged for one and I finally caved and bought him one. He wore it proudly and held the "tail"(leash) in his own hand. Kids are funny creatures. Just as with adults, every one has such a distinct personality. What works for one often fails with another.

 

[vintagelover229]

We've never used one but we only have one child. If I need to keep him close (even at 19.5 months) I just throw him on my back in my wrap. The best part is he falls asleep and it's very comfortable. He was still walking at 13 months but still will be carried when the situation calls for it without any issues. To each their own though-I've seen some pretty cute ones but haven't ever felt the need to invest in one yet.

 

[anne_h]

We used a leash (we called it a harness) with our oldest. We used it as a training tool, to teach him how to stay on the sidewalk with us while we were out walking. Worked great! Not sure how long we used it, probably one spring/summer period until he learned. There was one incident where a woman yelled rude comments to us, but on the other hand we had lots of parents ask us where we got it!! lol

With the twins, we did experiment with leashes for awhile, but we didn't really need them. Probably because we used the stroller for longer with them and by the time we wanted them to walk on their own, they were smart enough to stay on the sidewalk unaided.

Anne

 

[luv2sparkle]

When my oldest son was little he would often bolt away from us. We had a "leash" that was made by Fisher Price that was a velcro strap around my wrist and one around his. We would use it when we were out and around crowds. At the swap meet, or a mall, and especially at Disneyland. I can't even count the times I had to reel that child back in! Frankly, I think it may have saved his life. I have no bad feelings about it at all. I never had to use it with my other kids but for son #1 it was a neccessity!

 

[ckrickett]

I have no objections, but I also believe it depends on the situation. Is the parent also attentive to the child. Or are the using the leash to babysit the child and completely ignoring them (I have seen this ). If they have the leash to make sure the child is safe, but are also being attentive to che childs needs then awesome, I am all for child safety. But if they are using it, and then ignoring the child completely then I think the bigger picture needs to be looked at. (not the leash).

I had a leash, frakk, I needed a leash. According to my mom I had a funny little habit of wanting to run into traffic, apparently I was so amused by the giant metal cars screaming by.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

This is not new. We called it a harness, A two yr old is so unpredictable, I think they can be a blessing to parents whose child is
very energetic.

Annette
Ruby, you are not as old as I am, but one difference may be that we didn't take our children everywhere as so many do now.
Its just something we didn't do, just as parents now take their kids on planes without a thought.

 

[LALove]

You know what? Parenting has got to be one of the most difficult things to do on the planet. Most of the moms (and dads) I know are constantly wondering/worrying if they're fouling up the job and screwing up their kid(s). Myself included. And these are all good people who love their kids fiercely and who are doing the best they can. All the mom-judging and mom-petitions make it all so much harder. Just because you didn't personally need to do "thing x" with your child doesn't mean that it's wrong for another parent to use that life line. You don't know the situation or the kid.

 

[arkieb1]

I had a cute animal backpack that is light that goes onto the child with a leash that attaches to it. I have actually had people in a shopping centre say a couple of times I must be a bad mother or make comments because my son wore it when I went to the shopping centre, so I stopped and told them 1) it was none of their freaking business to judge me and 2) the reason he is wearing that is he had this annoying habit when he was smaller of twisting out of my grip when I was holding hands and running away from me as fast as he could thinking this was some sort of cool game. He ran from me in the car parking lot one day prior to buying the backpack and leash and came within inches of being hit by a car, luckily the driver slammed on the brakes in time, but from that day onwards when we went anywhere where he could potentially do that again he wore the backpack with the leash on it. Once he got a bit bigger you could explain to him that he can get hurt and he didn't run off any more.

I would rather a child that is safe and alive than one that has been hit by a car or taken by someone. If people feel uncomfortable about leashes then they have obviously never had a child that would bolt/run away when it was small.... There are many bad, abusive people in the world - judging someone for trying to keep their children safe is exactly that, being judgemental without knowing all the facts.

 

[momhappy]

You know what? Parenting has got to be one of the most difficult things to do on the planet. Most of the moms (and dads) I know are constantly wondering/worrying if they're fouling up the job and screwing up their kid(s). Myself included. And these are all good people who love their kids fiercely and who are doing the best they can. All the mom-judging and mom-petitions make it all so much harder. Just because you didn't personally need to do "thing x" with your child doesn't mean that it's wrong for another parent to use that life line. You don't know the situation or the kid.

I think that parenting has always been under the microscope. In many ways, parenting has gotten a whole lot easier over the years too, so while I agree that some things make our jobs more difficult, I am thankful every day for the things/gadgets/toys that have made my life (as a parent) easier. I agree that it's important not to judge other parents for their choices just because those choices are different than yours. I think that thing with leashes though is that it's difficult to put into words what it is that makes them seem odd to some. I think that because many of us primarily use eases as a means to control our animals, it seems strange to think of using the same device on our children. For me, it's not something that I'm judging, but it's clearly something that I don't understand (and that's okay because I'm sure that there are things that I do that others don't understand)

 

[katharath]

You know what? Parenting has got to be one of the most difficult things to do on the planet. Most of the moms (and dads) I know are constantly wondering/worrying if they're fouling up the job and screwing up their kid(s). Myself included. And these are all good people who love their kids fiercely and who are doing the best they can. All the mom-judging and mom-petitions make it all so much harder. Just because you didn't personally need to do "thing x" with your child doesn't mean that it's wrong for another parent to use that life line. You don't know the situation or the kid.

Great post. I have two younger boys, 6 and 9 now. We never used a harness/leash; one of my boys was VERY shy and always stuck close by. The other is incredibly outgoing, and tried to run off many times, but we taught him as quickly as possible, and without a leash, to stick close by.

That being said, my brother's daughter is autistic and has a much more difficult time learning things that are age appropriate. She is pretty fearless, and they've had a very hard time trying to keep her from running right into traffic. After a couple of big scares, they use a leash with her. It works for them and it keeps her safe. She is only 5, and she's a cute sweet girl - you can't tell she's autistic "just by looking" at her. So maybe people who see her on a leash judge them and don't "get" why they do it, or think it's weird or lazy or whatever - I don't know. But it's definitely not something I feel comfortable judging others for using, because we really don't know others' circumstances.

 

[TooPatient]

I had a cute animal backpack that is light that goes onto the child with a leash that attaches to it. I have actually had people in a shopping centre say a couple of times I must be a bad mother or make comments because my son wore it when I went to the shopping centre, so I stopped and told them 1) it was none of their freaking business to judge me and 2) the reason he is wearing that is he had this annoying habit when he was smaller of twisting out of my grip when I was holding hands and running away from me as fast as he could thinking this was some sort of cool game. He ran from me in the car parking lot one day prior to buying the backpack and leash and came within inches of being hit by a car, luckily the driver slammed on the brakes in time, but from that day onwards when we went anywhere where he could potentially do that again he wore the backpack with the leash on it. Once he got a bit bigger you could explain to him that he can get hurt and he didn't run off any more.

I would rather a child that is safe and alive than one that has been hit by a car or taken by someone. If people feel uncomfortable about leashes then they have obviously never had a child that would bolt/run away when it was small.... There are many bad, abusive people in the world - judging someone for trying to keep their children safe is exactly that, being judgemental without knowing all the facts.

Yep!

As others have said, it depends on how it is used. If you are being attentive and just using the leash for an aid then that is GREAT. It is one more tool to help good parents keep their kids safe while they learn.
If it is used as a way to tie the kid to the parent so they don't have to watch then that is not so good (but even then I'd rather they use a leash & not watch than let the kid wander loose & not watch...).

My grandmother used these for my younger cousins and also for the kids she was nanny to. It helped her teach them how to behave in public (can't learn to walk and stay close if you don't get to walk) at the same time as keeping them safe.


Oh....
And last summer I had the urge to go out and buy a pile of these to use on groups of teenagers
When it is after dark in a super crowded place (community fireworks display) and you've got 10 kids ranging in age from 8-13 with 3 adults being pushed along by thousands of other people in the dark some way to keep a group together would be nice. Teenagers/pre-teenagers have this tendency to wander off and stop to chat and....
If that had been a group of 4-7 year olds it would have been even worse!