PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[lliang_chi]

Rachel, I was going to go to bed, but I read your post and felt I had to send you some cyber hugs. It's going to be alright. There's no failure at being a mom (OK there *is* but what you're doing, caring for her, feeding, following up etc is NOT failure). Formula feeding, even though you *want* to EBF isn't an evil NOR is a permanent thing. So keep working with your LC and trying to get your supply up. Drink lots (I mean LOTS) of water, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed the prescriptions will help. Also re: the nipple shields and your baby only feeding with the shield or the bottle. I just wanted to chime in that Ethan was the same way, he'd only nurse with the shield at first. But whenever I was feeling up for it, I'd offer him my breast without the shield and see if he'd nurse on it. If he didn't, I'd try 2 or 3 more times (stopping before he got TOO frustrated), then just nurse with the shield. Eventually he got bigger and I got used to nursing and each time he'd get more and more comfortable with taking my bare nipple. So, moral of the story, you *CAN* wean off the shield. Just keep the faith. Although I will add the disclaimer: we didn't have a supply issues so maybe that helped.

Pupp, glad to see you popping in here! Sounds fantastic that your DH has such a great relationship with Master N. Hoping things are going well with you

Muff, glad to hear Luca's doing so well and you guys are in your groove now. I loved giving Ethan solids, it's so fun watching him discover more of the world around him. Plus I love cooking etc, so making food for Ethan made me happy. Also I totally agree with you how much it's a pleasure nursing once you get the hang of it. I truly enjoy nursing Ethan and do get a touch sad when he decides to strike. Fortuantely his strikes never last more than an overnight, but sometimes it makes me sad.

NEL, Pancake, Freke, hope you ladies are doing alright.

AFU, still not crawling for real yet, but definitely getting close. We went to Sis's for soem BBQ ribs adn Ethan was great. It's getting more and more fun hanging out and beng around. I can see the joy of being a SAHM if your days are full of the good stuff. But I know it wouldn't be the case, and I know I don't have it in me to be a SAHM. Kudos to all who make it work.

 

[Puppmom]

Sorry for the rambling last night! What I meant was that my best advice is this - tell your DH what you and baby need specifically, be patient with him, then step away and let him do it. It took me a while to get to that place because I'm kinda of a control freak.

 

[Buttons]

Rachel I so feel for you! Two of my friends have PCOS and that disease is just so miserable. From the symptoms, to the TTC issues, to the BF supply issue, is there anything it doesn't mess up?!? Sending you hugs and lots of virtual support. I hope the medicines kick in soon and the latching issues clear up, but in the meantime don't be hard on yourself. One day at a time Mama!

Muff help! How do I 'work on getting a deeper latch'? I have no idea how to go about doing that when he literally does. not. open. his mouth Your vasospasm issues sound so familiar, but I'm so glad to read that you found light at the end of the tunnel, gives me hope! Love the tired baby photo, that made me laugh today

mayerling I hope things went better last night for you guys. I have no advice but I am thinking of you and hoping the bottle strike is over soon!

===

AFU bad night last night BF-wise. He fed at 11:30pm for about 45 minutes and it was a nightmare. All the usual pulling, gnashing, snarling and tearing at the nipple. He also kicked and punched and scraped at the breast. This is all on top of his general refusal to latch deeply, so he was pistoning and chewing on the nipple as well. I checked and supply was good so it shouldn't have been a supply issue. I tried to wind him three or four times and he didn't have wind. In the end I just suffered through until he fell asleep which lasted for about half an hour and then he woke up SCREAMING. DH took him downstairs and tried to wind him but nothing came up so he just walked the floors with him - and he wouldn't calm down. It turned from crying into full on roaring shouting. This went on for 25 minutes and then DH brought him back upstairs and said it was scaring him and he didn't know what to do. I offered him the breast again and he went right on and fell asleep in like 3 minutes flat. He slept through till 5am, when he woke up and I fed him again and he repeated the wild animal routine. In the end he bit me so hard I screamed loud enough to make him cry and DH had to come back upstairs to calm him down (and poor DH was heading out the door to go to work, which is a 3 hour drive away). I finished the feed on the other side then (roaring crying with the pain in the bitten nipple the whole time) and he fell back to sleep around 6:30am and slept till 10am. The feeds at 10am and at 12 noon have been fine - he rarely does the wild animal antics during the day.

I put a call in to the osteopath today as she asked us to call if we noticed an increase in wind/reflux so I want to get it checked out as he was spitting up a lot more than usual during the evening feeds yesterday. I just don't know what to do when he starts up with the thrashing and tearing stuff. No-one can tell me if it's an issue with supply, or if it's wind, or his poor latch, or if it's the thrush. We have the six week check-up on Monday but my GP is on maternity leave and the locum who is covering for her admitted to me at the two week check-up that she knows nothing about BF. I'm so frustrated

 

[Buttons]

Oh and to everyone who posted about DH issues, one of my FB friends posted this today and I thought of you all!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Hi ladies, thanks for all the support. I went and saw the doctor yesterday and spoke with a counselor. They basically confirmed that I'm probably dealing with a bit of postpartum depression, but that most of what I'm feeling is normal. I had a really good day one day this week, and the others have been okay. Hoping that I get more of the good days soon. Just getting showered and cleaned up and making sure I get a few things done around the house seems like an accomplishment these days.

The big problem I'm having is that the baby is such a restless sleeper and then most of the time he is awake, he is fussy. He has also been spitting up more, sometimes in his sleep. I just wish I knew if he is just a tempermental baby, the formula is bothering him (he's on one that is supposed to be gentle though), or if he has another issue like reflux or something. We can soothe him with a pacifier or walking around, but then he starts to fuss again. He just seems so unhappy all the time, and it gets me really frazzled and exhausted. Anyone else have a baby like this at about 4 weeks that grew out of it???

I'm sorry others are dealing with nursing problems or husband problems. I hope everyone has better days in the very near future. Trying so hard not to be a downer. Hopefully, some the joyous moments will start to be more prominent.

 

[MuffDog]

Buttons - OMG. That sounds AWFUL. I haven't looked back but have you considered hiring a consultant? I went to a few free breastfeeding clinics but finally had a consultant come to my house.

As far as getting a deeper latch, here is what I was taught:

1. Lay the baby on a pillow on your lap (if he has reflux, put one end of the pillow up on the arm of the chair so his head is slightly raised). Line up the baby's EYE with your nipple. At this point, baby is still laying on his back. For the sake of the description, let's assume baby's eye is lined up with your left breast.

2. Take your right arm and run it along the far side of the baby with your elbow behind baby's bum area and hand up near baby's head. Use your whole arm and tuck the baby in close to your body nice and tight.

3. Now with your left hand, grab your left breast with your thumb pointing up to the sky, and the rest of your fingers curve underneath your boob and come up around the other side. Kind of like a big U. Squish your breast kind of flat like you are holding a sandwich. You will keep your hand there the whole time.

4. Now using your right arm, roll the baby towards you and he should open his mouth nice and wide because the nipple is near his EYE so he has to look up to see it and get it in his mouth. Kind of like how they say that women always open their mouth when they put on their mascara. This was the key for me - usually people say nipple to nose but that never got LUca to open his mouth enough. I'm also well endowed so together we had many issues.

5. Keep your baby nice and close while he sucks. If supply is an issue at all, you can do breast compressions with that left hand. Just squeeze your breast until you hear the baby making good swallowing sounds and hold it until those sounds stop. Release, and re-compress.

So you will see now that you have squished your boob into a boob sandwich that will make it fit better into the baby's mouth. That, plus forcing him to look up and open should increase the depth of his latch.

Another thing that was recommended to me (that my at-home consultant didn't like) but that helped me through a rough patch was when you are holding your boob like sandwich, use the side of your pointer finger on the baby's chin and physically lower his jaw down before he latches on. Does that make sense?

Hopefully if he has a better latch, he will be able to get more milk and be more satisfied at the breast. It will take a while for the pain to go away but you have to stop somewhere!

As far as the reflux goes, if you have lots and lots of milk, it could be that the baby is not getting enough hind milk because he is feeding so quickly before he starts thrashing and I imagine you stop/switch sides etc. If you do a quick google you can see that a lot of gas/spitting up can be related to the baby getting too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk. My consultant said that is only an issue with women who have over supply.

One more thing - how are you trying to burp him?

Hope that helps! Give it a try and if you need me to better explain the position, let me know.

Monkey - YES!! I thought that Luca would NEVER be happy. Ever. He was miserable 24-7. Fussing, screaming, arching his back. Nothing soothed him. Nothing made him happy. He didn't want to snuggle. I felt hopeless. I felt cheated - everyone told me to enjoy the beginning, when he was small and snuggly and would sleep on my chest and "you could take him anywhere because he'll sleep in the car seat". So NOT true. I couldn't take him anywhere that didn't have an exit. I remember once I had lunch with my dad at a mall restaurant, and we basically spent the whole time alone, taking turns with Luca OUTSIDE because he was screaming so much. There were no coos. No droopy baby sleeping on my shoulder when I tried to burp him. Just screaming.

That said, things did get better. Not that I know what works for every baby, but for us, sleep was what was missing. He didn't have reflux (even though the dr. gave him meds). He didn't have colic (even though he screamed for many, many hours every day). He was TIRED. So yeah - we did whatever it took to get him to sleep between 4 and 8 weeks and then we started sleep training. Between 4 and 8 weeks, we swaddled tightly and he slept in a swing. All night. Naps. Didn't matter.

Some babies turn the corner at 6 weeks, but it took 3 months for us. I'm not going to lie. But yeah, things will get MUCH better and honestly, you just have to get through this. I was told (after L was born, of course) it is 100 Days of Hell. And for us, it was. Almost to the day.

I'm sorry things are rough for you though. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone, but to end up with a lil peanut like Luca? I'll take it. Are you swaddling? Luca was also super restless, punching himself and his arms never stopped moving. Swaddling was super important. He fought it at first but then he was fine with it and he slept way longer that way.

And just to prove it - here he is as a happy 4.5 month old!

 

[choro72]

Buttons, HAHA, I love that caption! Not sure if DH would appreciate it, but that's how I feel As for Wee Buttons, aww, poor baby! I don't think mine was as bad, but he DID squirm a lot while feeding. He is so hard to burp, but I recognized that whenever he burped he was better.
Also, I used to feed him 45 mines all the time too, but it turned out that it was too long. He was more than full and would spit up all the time. I saw my LC around 2 months, and she said that he shouldn't need to eat that much. So started detaching him whenever he started being drowsy. He whimpered and sort of thrashed, but then realized that he was full.

MP, YES, it sucks. SNL was unhappy ALL the time. He was either eating, sleeping, or screaming. I felt better about it around 2 months, when he first smiled. Around 2.5 months, he started whimpering instead of screaming. It turned from "I HATE EVERYTHING. YOU ALL GO TO HELL" into "Don't leave me alone! I'm bored!". It's nice knowing what he wants, but now I have to spend my energy entertaining him.

Some things that helped me were super deep squatting and dancing to rock music, though the music was more for my benefit. I was sweaty and sore, but it was the only way he calmed down.

 

[amc80]

MP- I felt the same way. I dreaded B being awake because he was so fussy. Now, at 3 months, he can entertain himself for a while. He loves his activity mat and will happily play with it for 15-30 minutes. This is a new thing, because a week ago he had no interest in it. I hate to say it (again), but we can also turn on the tv and that will entertain him as well.

As with everything else, it does get better.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thanks again ladies! Glad to hear I'm not the only one with a grumpy baby. I am so thankful for this board.

Muff, funny you mention the sleep thing. I really do think that has a lot to do with Everett's fussiness. Just now, I was doing everything I could think of to get him to nap. He would start yawning and close his eyes but then startle awake and cry. I finally just held him and let him have a big cry for about a minute and he zonked out. We tried to swaddle like crazy early on but he grunts and fights it when he wakes up. So now we just swaddle from chest down. He startles so easily and is so restless and wakes frequently.

Do you have any napping techniques you care to share? He will sometimes get sleepy after eating but I try to hold him upright to reduce spitting up. He hates being burped too and freaks out. If I try to change him or do an activity type thing per the EASY method, he inevitably ends up hiccuping or crying or spitting up and then I can't get him to nap. Right now he is sleeping in the carseat because I was desperate. We have a hand me down swing he seems to hate but maybe he would like a different one? I would prefer that he sleep in his pack n play, which he does at night with varying degrees of success.

 

[MuffDog]

MP - I would really encourage you revisit the swaddle. We had good luck with the Miracle Blanket which is nice and cozy around the arms but leaves the legs/hips with freedom so you don't have to worry about hip development problems. If he is startling himself awake, the swaddle will help that. PLUS if you do feed to sleep, and you swaddle first, then transferring him to the crib will be much easier.

 

[MuffDog]

PS - for those of you with "challenging" newborns, you MUST read this http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/

 

[S&I]

MP - I agree with MuffDog re: trying the swaddle again.

A went through a period of fighting the swaddle too. I forget how old he was, but it was after he had more energy once he got over his jaundice treatments and was less lethargic. He always wanted his arms up by his face and we tried swaddling from the chest down, but like E, A's arms would startle him awake and he'd basically kick out of the rest of the swaddle anyway. So we did away with it, thinking he just didn't want to be swaddled. Then came a month or two of sleepless naps and nights. He just couldn't sleep well because he'd startle so much. We decided to go back to swaddling and he slept soooo much better. We used the Miracle Blanket and forced his arms down. One of his legs would always break free easily, so we just left it out. Throughout the night, he'd get the other leg out and sometimes one or both arms as well. But by the time that happened, it was usually time for him to wake up for a feeding and diaper change anyway.

We would change his diaper first, then re-swaddle, then give him his bottle. The bottle would put him back to sleep. For spitting up, you have to try to get a burp or two out of E before he goes back to sleep. If not, he'll burp out milk while he's sleeping. I know it's hard when they fight burping, but just try to hold E over your shoulder and pat his back. If it sounds kind of hollow/airy, then he's got air inside that has to come out. Sometimes it takes a good 10-15 minutes or more to get a burp out, especially if they're fussy or sleepy. Having that burp trapped inside can cause them enough discomfort to wake up early too. A would sometimes start fussing, I'd pick him up and he'd burp and fall back to sleep.

Just remember, you're doing a great job surviving in these early weeks. E is a normal baby, so don't worry that you're doing anything wrong because you're not!

 

[amc80]

Update on the DH situation. Apparently he got the point, because every day he asks what I need him to do. I still have to be specific...and I'm still slightly annoyed that I even have to ask. But I'll take what I can get! Last night was one of his nights off. He offered to do the middle of the night feeding for me, which was great. Except that the B started crying as soon as he was back in our room. I got up to ask DH how much he had eaten, and he said half a bottle and then had fallen asleep eating. Nope, he hadn't eaten anything (it was 4oz in an 8oz bottle...I guess DH didn't pay attention to the starting amount?) because the nipple was clogged. So I had to get up and feed him anyway. It's not rocket science. Grrrrr. But at least he's attempting to help.

I'm still debating how long to continue pumping. It really is driving me crazy. I don't want B exclusively on formula...that's the problem. I was thinking of continuing as is for another month, but replacing a day time bottle with formula, so I can build a stash. Then, B will (hopefully) start solids, and I can supplement with the saved BM and formula. But honestly, I'm not sure I want to continue at this pace for another month.

 

[pancake]

MP, I really think that swaddling would help. You need to be consistent and he will not like it to begin with. But he's a neonate; they don't KNOW what they want!

 

[lliang_chi]

Hey mamas!

Hope things are going OK for everyone. Ethan actually fed himself some Cheerios today! Hooray! Granted more ended up in the dog's tummy than his (dropped on the floor), but we're at a start with the finger food. Haven't tried any veggies etc yet. I'm going to give J some time to get used to the Cheerios before I start stuff like soft cooked veggies etc.

 

[FrekeChild]

I won't be around for a bit, we're going to be in Chicago almost all of next week, so I'm going to trying to entertain an almost one year old by myself in downtown Chicago, so that should prove to be exciting (and exhausting). Then we have a week at home, and then to LA. We just spent the weekend in Irvine, and that was already exhausting (but I got some updated bling out of the deal!)

No real updates since we've been so busy, but I got some fabulous things from Moxie Jean (my order was shipped about half an hour after I placed it!) which is a used kid clothing online store and from zulily. Both stores are dangerous.

While we're in LA, my daughter will be one year old.

Hugs to everyone.

Couple pics - happy baby profile shot (I can't resist those dimples!) and tired cold baby at The Cheesecake Factory.

 

[Missy0483]

MP - I had (have) a generally fussy baby. At times I felt like he was never happy. And then he started teething which is a whole new ball of fun!! But anyway, my mom swears he is a little colicy.

Welcome all the newbies! I haven't checked in here in so long. I just got back from a week long work trip. When I came back, Blake had TWO teeth that had popped through. One was almost through before I left and now they're both through his gums. Of course he was so good for DH and his teeth starting bothering him yesterday when I got home He fell asleep on my chest once though, that's how I knew he was hurting. Also, he has mastered rolling from belly to back and gets really excited when he does it! Anyway, here's a few pics! He turned 5 months on Nov 6th. He is drooling like crazy so I have to keep checking his face so he doesn't get too red/chapped!

 

[amc80]

B is officially sleeping in his crib, in his room. It's awesome. The transition was pretty easy after all. The only trick is we have to make sure he's asleep or nearly asleep before we put him down...otherwise he'll cry and won't settle. If he's not asleep, I just rub his tummy for a few minutes and that usually does the trick. It's SOOO nice to have our bedroom back. His room is on the opposite side of the condo, so when he was in our room we had to be super quiet, not turn on the kitchen light, etc. Now, I have a bit more freedom to do stuff at night. I'm also loving our baby monitor- it's a Motorola video monitor. It's so clear and has awesome night vision. I'd probably be freaking out without it.

 

[FrekeChild]

Speaking of video monitors, do you guys have any suggestions for video monitors? We have been talking about getting one for a while, but haven't gotten around to it yet. I just want to spy on her...

Thanks!

 

[iheartscience]

All the kids in costumes are killing me! Just had to post to say how cute they were!

kunzite-I especially loved Thing 1 and Thing 2, for obvious reasons!

 

[Puppmom]

Freke, we had the Summer Infant one and it just stopped working one day after about a year. And, it had two recalls for which we never received replacement parts. Generally speaking, I wasn't thrilled with it even when it did work.

About 6 months ago we bought this one and couldn't be happier:

http://www.diapers.com/p/motorola-mbp-36-35-color-video-158788

You can pan remotely which really comes in handy when you put your toddler to nap in his bed then turn on the monitor and the bed is empty. Panic! ...then, pan around the room- oh, there he is sleeping on the floor by the door!

The picture is also really clear and you can talk to your child through it. This mostly creeps DS out though so I don't do it.

With another on the way, we're just going to add on a camera. I think you can have up to 4 cameras.

 

[amc80]

We have the same as puppmom, but one model lower. Our screen is a bit smaller and we don't have the tilt/pan/zoom features. I wish we would have gotten that model. But the one we have is great, it seems to be really high quality. The video and sound is great...it can pick up the quietest of whispers.

 

[S&I]

Thanks for posting that monitor puppmom. We already have a monitor that works for us now, but it doesn't pan/tilt/zoom. I'm thinking yours will come in handy once A is mobile or graduates out of his crib.

Hope all the mamas are doing well over here. Things have been so busy that I haven't been able to do a proper post in forever. A is doing well. I think he's adjusted to the time change because he's now sleeping until 9am! He woke up at 7am for 2-3 days after the time change, but then he jumped to 9am. He's enjoying purees. We're on day 4 of butternut squash. The first batch seems a little too watery for him, so hopefully he'll like the thicker batch starting tomorrow. Still no teeth yet, but lots of chomping on fingers and sticking out his tongue.

 

[mayerling]

Missy, it's nice to hear from you! B's teeth look so cute.

S&I, glad to hear that A is enjoying purees. I'm thinking of starting N on purees when he turns 5 months.

AMC, yay for B sleeping in his own room!

Freke, I can't believe A is almost 1 already!

LC, hurray for E feeding himself!

MP, N used to hate being swaddled but I forced it on him because he kept startling himself awake. He's used to it now.

Buttons, how's the thrush going?

AFU, after a few days of N refusing the bottle, we decided to skip bottles and just go straight to soft spout sippies. Today, he took about 90ml from his sippy! He didn't even care that I was sitting right there when DH was trying to feed him. He was just anxious to shove this new thing in his mouth, probably because he didn't realise that it's there to replace the boob. Anyway, so now I'm anxious to see how tomorrow will go.
He also finally had his second set of vaccinations today and is running a slight fever. He took it like a man, though; even though he was pricked on both thighs, he didn't cry at all!
We also got him a high chair as he now refuses to sit in anything that reclines for too long and keeps trying to prop himself into an upright position.

 

[bobbin]

Quick post. Thanks for the thoughts and solidarity re DH issues. Things have improved a bit as like AMC's husband, he kind of got the message and has been coming home early since Tuesday last week. EARLY!! Not just on time, but getting to work early so he can leave early. Things still aren't great, but they are a bit better.

As far as C goes, she started babbling in syllables and blowing raspberries yesterday. It is so cute!

 

[blondebunny]

Quick post:

Chase has been having some crazy grunting things going on... the past 2 nights he just grunts allllllll night long... he is 2w1d today and I dont know what to do for him.. He gets really red and lifts his legs and just seems kind of uncomfortable.. Any suggestions?? Hubby just tells me to sleep while he grunts.. ya right...hubby sleeps on couch so i have room and stuff to pump and take care of baby at night..so he doesnt understand.. but this is coming from the guy who slept the ENTIRE first night C was home and he was gagging/choking/vomiting .. oh and hubby was 6 inches from the cosleeper.. just not sure what to do to help him.. Any help would be appreciated! thanks

 

[lliang_chi]

BB, how's Chase's poops?? Just off hand, maybe he's constipated or has gas?
For gas, the standard keeping him upright and burpign between breasts for burps. Otherwise try "bicycling" his legs, where you tuck his knee all the way to his chest and hold on his chest for a second. Also try to tuck both knees on his chest and hold. This helps him fart the gas out. I also find a warm bath helped too, but I'm not sure if C's belly button healed yet.
For constipation, not sure what to suggest. If he's exclusively BF typically they don't have constipation issues since BM is so easy to digest. If you're supplementing with formula, try giving him the formula in the AM, so he has all day to try to poop it out, and at night he'll have easy BM in his tummy. The downside is the BM is much easier to digest so you might be up an hour earlier between meals. If the formula still keeps him constipated try asking the pedi for another rec.

 

[amc80]

BB, I agree, sounds like gas. B had terrible gas. He still does, but it's a bit better. Try gas drops. I find they work better if I give them to B before he eats. We only had mild improvement with the drops. What really helps was when I gave up dairy. Right in time for Starbucks holiday drinks

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Buttons: Has your LO been checked for a posterior tongue tie? Or do you have a forceful letdown? The symptoms sound a lot like PTT- thrashing, gas, frequent feeding, long feeding... Does your babe click or lose suction at the breast?

Hope you mamas are doing well. Sorry I'm been MIA. We're in the middle of tongue tie revisions and early teething. It's just bananas, but we're hanging in there

 

[Rosalie]

This is a long post with a lot of questions...I'm very torn up about breast feeding right now. i have an 11 week old son and breast feeding has been challenging from the start. He is a sleepy eater so he'd eat then fall asleep before he was really full. So he didn't gain weight initially...my supply went down and we had to supplement with formula. We are now at a point where he get 0-3 oz of formula a day. I've made peace with that, though it was initially very upsetting that I could not exclusively breast feed.

For every feeding I weigh him and then determine how much extra to give from expressed milk or formula. I pump after every Feeding. between nursing, bottle, pumping, Burping, diaper...it's quite a process to go through 8 times a day.

I'm hoping to make it more manageable and so I'm hoping to get your perspective on a few topics. I've been to plenty of lactation consultants, etc but I'm interested in some real-world thoughts on my issues, which are:

1. Mismatch of supply and demand: overall he gets little to none formula but I almost always need to give a bottle after I nurse. The exception being first few AM feedings. I can pump enough extra milk in the first few feelings to supplement thought the whole day (except for the last feeding). It's quite laborious to get the bottle going every feeding after nursing for 30 min. And I feel like he has a tendency to always want more from a bottle vs breast. It's always a lot of fuss.

I don't see how my supply can ever coincide with his demand as long as I give a bottle but I don't want to underfed. Does anyone have experience or thoughts on how to align better so as to avoid having to give a bottle? I'd like to eventually have a surplus so I can store milk and feel like I can get a night away with the hubby, or just go away for more than the 30 minutes I end up having free between feedings.

2. He gives up early: there are many times when my supply in a feeding session (between nursing and pumping) is sufficient but he doesn't take all of it nursing...I don't understand why he doesn't take all of it nursing? I'm wondering if it stops flowing as freely and he's learned that he will get a bottle so he doesn't work at it. I'm thankful to be able to get some extra from pumping but I'd like him to just nurse.

3. Increase in his daily intake: for now, his formula intake is minimal. But his needs will likely grow and I don't see how I can accommodate if I'm supplementing. But I don't want him to go hungry. I'm not sure how to grow my supply along with his needs.

4. Being tied down: I feel like I can't go anywhere because I need to weigh him when we feed to see if he needs more milk/formula. I have no problem nursing in public (with a cover) but I get anxious about not knowing if he ate enough. I feel like I don't want to go home for the holidays because ill just be worried about his weight the whole week. The feeling of being housebound compounds the feelings I have about feeding overall.

Overall I feel like the anxiety and negative feeling I have about feeding are casting a dark shadow over a very precious time in both of our lives.

I know there are a lot of experienced ladies here so I'd appreciate any thoughts.