Gypsy
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2005
- Messages
- 40,225
Haven''t that posting active since well, dinner. I had a great day... and got some bad news at the end of it. So I''m asking for some dusting... could really use some. After dinner John, who had taken my mom to the doctor for a second opinon on the results of her back surgery, told me the ''real'' assesment this doctor offered (instead of the vague and slightly avoiding the question one he gave me while I was at work).
My mother had a posterior spinal fusion, a rather extensive one .. I think it was T3 to L2 or T2 to L 3 about 7 weeks ago. Her back was sloping and pushing her ribs into her lungs. Um... if you get quesy at medical details skip the next paragraph.
Long story short. Two of the hooks that were supposed to have been fused unto her bones, the anchors at the top of Fusion, have completely come out of the bone. Now, we had indications of this a couple of days after the surgery... and it progressed until the place it''s at now where the hooks are trying to break through her skin. It''s been very painful.
Her surgeon since the day after the surgery pulled what my mother feels was a Dr. Jeckle Mr. Hyde on her. Before the surgery he was great... afterward he displayed a God complex and an ego the size of the South American Continent. He refused to empathize with her, look into some of her complaints, was generally interested in complimenting himself and well... you get the picture. I thought he was an arse the day I met him, the day of mom''s surgery, and I have a hard time believe that my mother didn''t just see what she wanted to see, and ignored the indications of his Mr. Hyde cause I don''t think this man has a humble, or EMPATHETIC bone in his body. Didn''t think so then, KNOW so now. Two weeks ago Mom confronted him in his office that her back was WORSE (she looks like a hunch back.. full on hump above her shoulder blades) and her neck is displaced it''s been moved forward as a result of the pressure from the slipped hooks and lost anchoring of them. He said that there was a very easy procedure that could fix her ''minor complaint.'' We hoped he was telling the truth, but wanted to confirm. Also we hoped that if it really was an easy fix, we could find someone else to do it.
Today she went for a second opinion, and with the hope that this doctor/surgeon would do the correction surgery that is going to be needed, instead of having to do back to Mr. Hyde. Well, he confirmed that it was a screw up, but diplomatically, and said that the ''quick fix'' would stop the pain but would leave her a hunchback for life. My heart just stopped when John told me this. The ''real'' fix would be an extensive surgery involving fusing more vertebrea up to her neck to pull that back into alignment, and finding a new anchor point. Forgot stopping, my heart fell to my knees. And he said that he won''t/ can''t from a liabilty standpoint touch her. She needs to go back to the original surgeon or one at the same hospital.
I cannot tell you how much my mother has already suffered in terms of pain, in terms of weight loss she''s lost 40 pounds she didn''t have to lose. Mr. Hyde has her addicted at 7 weeks to TWENTY miligrams of Percocet every 8 hours, with another MORE addictive and STRONGER pain med every three. My grandparents have aged right before my eyes in the last 7 weeks. All of us, and we''re a good sized family have been worn to the bone, and that''s with the nurses and therapists, and extra maid we''ve hired. We''ve been with her 24 hours a day, cause she''s crippled. I spent two nights a week there, plus one weekend day. My stepfather spends 3 nights a week there, plus the other weekend day. My aunt spends two nights a week there, plus two weekdays till 6 pm. My grandparents are there 24/7 because we had to set up the hospital bed in thier living room as my other aunt was here from TX for 4 weeks staying with them, and my grandma has surgery (hernia) at the same time so having them in the same house made sense. My other aunt drives up from LA most weekends. And all of this has emotionally just really hurt my mom and made her feel guilty and depressed and anxious. It''s been awful.
I''ve just been holding it inside and after dinner it really just... broke me about this.
So, we have an appointment with Mr. Hyde on Monday. John and I will be taking my mom to it. And we are to see what he is willing to do. His office has been unwilling to consider the ''permanent fix'' as his schedule is too packed for anything like that ''so unexpectedly''
, but I don''t want my mother to be a hunchback for the rest of her life. And HE DID THIS. HE MESSED UP. A solution that''s a quick and dirty for him is a cop out, and I''m furious that he''s been trying to force my mom to it. And I''m scared. The first time the risks of paralysis and everything else were so hard to deal with... and that was without knowing how bad and hard the recovery process was going to be... now, I''m just so worried. She''s so weak, what''s this going to do to her.
And I''m just... in need of some magick.
That''s probably why I''ve been distracting myself with this reset, and everything, and posting here so much. Life right now... my mother raised me herself... it was hard as an immigrant here, after everything my dad did to her. And I love her so much. And despite all my complaints, she really is a wonderful mom.
Please, a little fairy dust. She could really use it. And so could the rest of my family. She''s very much the heart of us.
Sorry so solemn, just really upset.
My mother had a posterior spinal fusion, a rather extensive one .. I think it was T3 to L2 or T2 to L 3 about 7 weeks ago. Her back was sloping and pushing her ribs into her lungs. Um... if you get quesy at medical details skip the next paragraph.
Long story short. Two of the hooks that were supposed to have been fused unto her bones, the anchors at the top of Fusion, have completely come out of the bone. Now, we had indications of this a couple of days after the surgery... and it progressed until the place it''s at now where the hooks are trying to break through her skin. It''s been very painful.
Her surgeon since the day after the surgery pulled what my mother feels was a Dr. Jeckle Mr. Hyde on her. Before the surgery he was great... afterward he displayed a God complex and an ego the size of the South American Continent. He refused to empathize with her, look into some of her complaints, was generally interested in complimenting himself and well... you get the picture. I thought he was an arse the day I met him, the day of mom''s surgery, and I have a hard time believe that my mother didn''t just see what she wanted to see, and ignored the indications of his Mr. Hyde cause I don''t think this man has a humble, or EMPATHETIC bone in his body. Didn''t think so then, KNOW so now. Two weeks ago Mom confronted him in his office that her back was WORSE (she looks like a hunch back.. full on hump above her shoulder blades) and her neck is displaced it''s been moved forward as a result of the pressure from the slipped hooks and lost anchoring of them. He said that there was a very easy procedure that could fix her ''minor complaint.'' We hoped he was telling the truth, but wanted to confirm. Also we hoped that if it really was an easy fix, we could find someone else to do it.
Today she went for a second opinion, and with the hope that this doctor/surgeon would do the correction surgery that is going to be needed, instead of having to do back to Mr. Hyde. Well, he confirmed that it was a screw up, but diplomatically, and said that the ''quick fix'' would stop the pain but would leave her a hunchback for life. My heart just stopped when John told me this. The ''real'' fix would be an extensive surgery involving fusing more vertebrea up to her neck to pull that back into alignment, and finding a new anchor point. Forgot stopping, my heart fell to my knees. And he said that he won''t/ can''t from a liabilty standpoint touch her. She needs to go back to the original surgeon or one at the same hospital.
I cannot tell you how much my mother has already suffered in terms of pain, in terms of weight loss she''s lost 40 pounds she didn''t have to lose. Mr. Hyde has her addicted at 7 weeks to TWENTY miligrams of Percocet every 8 hours, with another MORE addictive and STRONGER pain med every three. My grandparents have aged right before my eyes in the last 7 weeks. All of us, and we''re a good sized family have been worn to the bone, and that''s with the nurses and therapists, and extra maid we''ve hired. We''ve been with her 24 hours a day, cause she''s crippled. I spent two nights a week there, plus one weekend day. My stepfather spends 3 nights a week there, plus the other weekend day. My aunt spends two nights a week there, plus two weekdays till 6 pm. My grandparents are there 24/7 because we had to set up the hospital bed in thier living room as my other aunt was here from TX for 4 weeks staying with them, and my grandma has surgery (hernia) at the same time so having them in the same house made sense. My other aunt drives up from LA most weekends. And all of this has emotionally just really hurt my mom and made her feel guilty and depressed and anxious. It''s been awful.
I''ve just been holding it inside and after dinner it really just... broke me about this.
So, we have an appointment with Mr. Hyde on Monday. John and I will be taking my mom to it. And we are to see what he is willing to do. His office has been unwilling to consider the ''permanent fix'' as his schedule is too packed for anything like that ''so unexpectedly''
And I''m just... in need of some magick.
That''s probably why I''ve been distracting myself with this reset, and everything, and posting here so much. Life right now... my mother raised me herself... it was hard as an immigrant here, after everything my dad did to her. And I love her so much. And despite all my complaints, she really is a wonderful mom.
Please, a little fairy dust. She could really use it. And so could the rest of my family. She''s very much the heart of us.
Sorry so solemn, just really upset.
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