miraclesrule
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2008
- Messages
- 4,442
Date: 8/22/2008 4:37:52 PM
Author: decodelighted
I realize you're upset ... but if your daughter is happy with the photographer (did she choose?) PLEASE don't tarnish HER experience with your disappointment. This is a critical stage. She's cementing memories about her wedding and the joy etc. If you throw a tantrum in front of her (not saying you will -- just speculating as to what might happen if all your feelings spilled out in front of her with the same intensity you're venting on this thread) -- it could CHANGE her feelings about things. It could make HER sad, when she wasn't sad. It could make her feel ashamed of her choice of photographer (if she chose) ... etc etc etc.
I'm beginning to get what 'beholden' means to people. I'd be stunned & hurt if my mom was so vocal about when she liked or didn't like about my wedding or vendors. Especially if I didn't agree.
Just saying -- you may think you're helping but TREAD LIGHTLY -- you could cause more harm than good here at this point.
I think there is a misunderstanding here, so let me clarify...
1. My daughter choose to pay the costs of this family and wife team to shoot only. She did not plan on buying any prints and intended on waiting exactly one year in order to get her proofs on DVD and have her niece photoshop them and they would make an album from several sources.
2. My daughter would have loved to have had the money to have ordered an album, but it was cost prohibitive.
3. *I* assumed that the photographers, because they were among the top reviewed in town, would have great photographs and they are excellent at special effects and digital deviation to enhance and creat extremely phenomenal photos. In fact, I have seen their work and thought it was pretty awesome...not knowing that most of them are done on day after shoots.
4. *I* made the decision to order the cadillac version of a wedding album as a surprise combined xmas present for her and her DH. I impulsively decided to do this and paid for it prior to viewing the proofs.
5. My daughter can stay happy and wait one year for her DVD and go ahead with her plan. She still won't have a photo of her alone in her dress, so if she doesn't care about that, that's fine. I happen to care a lot about that. I love the groom, but I wanted a lot of nice pictures for a parents album as a keepsake as well. I want that keepsake to have at least one f'ing photo of my daughter's dress that I went through so much drama to have look so good.
6. *I* don't like enough of the photos for me to pay for the cadillac version of the album from this vendor as a surprise gift to her, because I would rather have another album made with pictures from other professional photogs who were there and have produced excellent photos combined with this vendor.
7. *I* am glad that my daughter likes some of the photos. I like many of the photos as well. Me being upset because I don't think it's worth $3500 for a book in which my daughter's pictures can only come from one vendor in which I am not happy with the shot they have to work with are separate from my daughter. She never expected to get an album from them anyway, so it's not hurting her.
It bums me out because I feel compelled to cancel the order, period. On the bright side, I may be able to start plotting my earrings again.
If my daughter does go through with a "day after" shoot with this vendor in the near future and they produce enough better shots of my daughter, then I will reconsider the surprise album I was going to spring for. I will have to discuss that with the vendor.
Hopefully that clarifies that. I can't amy more stop being disappointed at the drop of a hat, than I can grow thicker hair and have smaller feet. Okay, well I can, but it is more of a process. Coming on this board at venting is a little like coughing up the black stuff on the Green Mile. I just wanted to intensely vent so that I don't hold it all in and upset my daughter, but thank you for the warning. I appreciate your intention. i just don't know if I can "hide" it, as I am as transparent as clear glass. She would be more suspicious if I acted like I liked them as she predicted before i ever even saw that I wouldn't like them. Now, why would she assume that, when I can't get enough of looking at her pictures?? Because she knows, just like she knew the dress was wonkly but wanted to be in denial. It's okay, this too shall pass. Like a big kidney stone....ouch.
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