Plus size wedding dresses

[zoebartlett]

I''ve never been able to picture myself in a wedding dress, and I realized that part of the reason is because I wasn''t sure if there would be great-looking dresses in my size. I''m also very short (4'' 9"), which could also pose a problem. If I found a wedding dress that looked great and made me feel like a princess, I would consider wearing one.

I may prefer wearing a nice dress that isn''t a wedding dress -- somehow, that seems more ME -- nice and classy but not too formal. I''m pretty self-conscious and honestly, I''m dreading shopping for my wedding.

Does anyone have any ideas?

 

[sumbride]

I felt the same way... until I found the right dress!

I think the easiest way is to go to a store that carries samples in your size! If you can''t actually put it on, it''s a lot harder to feel special. I was lucky to go to a store, Low''s in Brinkley, AR, where I had a whole room of dresses in my size that I could try on! Once I put on the dress I ended up buying, I felt like a bride and couldn''t imagine wearing anything else.

Don''t feel you have to wear a wedding dress to be a bride, but also, don''t be afraid of wedding dresses! There''s a lot of size 2 girls out there (and on here!) that look so great in everything, but being a plus-sized bride is special too and don''t let anybody make it anything less than joyful for you.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks Summer! I love your dress -- I''ve seen it in one of your threads and it''s so pretty. You gave me quite a pep talk, and I really appreciate it. My e-ring should be finished on Monday and then it''s just a matter of waiting until my boyfriend proposes. That''s exciting. Looking at places in the mountains (possible wedding location) has been exciting too. We''re heading to the seacoast this weekend to look at other locations. We''ve found invitations that we love. The guest list hasn''t gotten too out of control yet, although it''s probably going to be bigger than I''d ideally want. So far, it''s all been very fun and I''m having a blast. Then when I think of the dress issue my spirits dip a little. I mean, I know that the people at my wedding will be there to support us and be there to celebrate our day. I just can''t help wondering if I''ll look the same way I''ll feel -- radiant. Does that make sense?

Gosh, I sound like such a downer. I don''t mean to.

 

[Blenheim]

Zoe, that makes sense to me. I spent a couple of hours earlier today combing through bridal mags, and every model is a size 0 and there are a ton of articles about starting to prep for your perfect skin and hair and nails and body and everything at least six months in advance. I''ve heard of magazines including when to have plastic surgery in their pre-wedding timelines even. I feel like the wedding industry and the media throw this image at us that we have to look a certain way and do lots of preparation and change things about us (when to dye your hair! when to start a diet!) before we get married if we really want to look radiant and beautiful.

But really, that''s all BS. Seriously. Sumbride looks absolutely gorgeous in her dress. Have you seen Decodelighted''s wedding photos? She''s plus-size, and looks so beautiful and happy and radiant. The fact that you''re excited to marry your BF is going to shine through and that''s what people will notice.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks Blenheim! I have seen Deco''s pictures and they''re all gorgeous! I love her dress and her wedding day must have been so special.

I absolutely hate fashion magazines and bridal magazines. Aside from the whole self-image thing, I''ve never been a fan of them - too many ads and not enough substance, in my opinion. Regarding the self-image thing, it''s SO frustrating to look at pictures in them and say, "yep, that''s a beautiful dress...for someone else...someone who is tall and thin." So not me.

This reminds me, I was in a friend''s wedding a while back and when I went to get my BM dress, the lady who was "helping" me was writing out the order. She told me the cost of the dress and then said something like, "and we''ll have to have extra fabric and that will make the dress $X [total cost]." I really wanted to slap her. Come on, was it necessary to point out the fact that my dress would need additional fabric because of my size (at the time I was a size 16)? No.

Also, I''ve gotten the "you have such a pretty face...if only ___________" comments from my mom. I''d hate to think that she''s thinking that on my WEDDING DAY.

Okay, sorry to vent. I guess this is bothering me more than I thought.

 

[sumbride]

Yeah, I definitely had a hard time wrapping my mind around looking good in a white dress. I had a lot of fun with the flowers and the cake and the nitty-gritty details, but I put off dress shopping for about 4 months whereas some girls go look right away. Eventually I had to focus on how I felt in it, knowing THAT''S what people would see. True, some silhouettes looked horrible on me, but there were more than a few that looked good. It was nice to go to a place that didn''t expect me to be a size zero... there are actually a lot more plus size brides in the world than you see on the pages of magazines... so picking a line that carries your size, going to a store that carries your size samples, even thinking about custom... these are all crucial to making you more comfortable with it. If you take somebody with you, make sure it''s somebody that knows what your issues are and won''t set you off. I was a little worried about my mom originally, but she was actually very supportive and didn''t make a single comment about "if you could just...." It was like a miracle.

You have enough stress on you when planning a wedding to not fall into the "if I could only drop 4 sizes..." You can tone up a bit, sure, but you won''t have time or energy to change your whole shape. Realize that your soon-to-be-FI loves you just the way you are and THAT''S the woman he wants to marry! And then go out and find the dress that makes you feel beautiful! and bridal!

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks Ladies! You''ve made me feel better already. Sum, I wish you were up here in New England.

At this point, I''m open to all ideas -- sun dresses, regular dresses, and even *gulp* wedding dresses. I know Talbots has a plus size section on their website but I was browsing it today and was dissapointed. I''ve never gotten anything but I''ve heard great things. It was hard to tell what could look good on me, because I swear, the models in most of the pictures WERE NOT plus size.

I like J Crew but I''m not sure they carry wedding attire in my size (I''d consider a BM dress too, if it didn''t look too "bridesmaidsy."

I have one more day off this week, so I may put away my insecurity about this issue and go dress shopping. Maybe.

 

[sumbride]

I wish I was there too! I would take you shopping!

Maggie Sottero''s site has a section called "Maggie Brides" where you can see REAL women wearing the dresses and there are several plus size girls in there. Here is one of my favorites!

If you want to see actual plus size models, try Plus size bridal

 

[zoebartlett]

I''d love to go shopping with you! Thanks for the links! You''ve been such a help to me tonight. I''ll begin searching. Oh, I looked on J Crew''s site but they only go up to size 16. I''d need the size to be a bit higher (at least in regular clothes. I''m not sure how wedding dresses run).

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 4/26/2007 10:34:36 PM
Author: sumbride
I wish I was there too! I would take you shopping!

Maggie Sottero's site has a section called 'Maggie Brides' where you can see REAL women wearing the dresses and there are several plus size girls in there. Here is one of my favorites!

If you want to see actual plus size models, try Plus size bridal

Great idea sumbride. Watters and watters has a similar section and it's really helpful to see what a dress looks like on a non-model!

A girlfriend of mine recently got married and she too was a little worried about finding a dress since she has a plus-size body. She called stores a head of time and found a few that have her size samples and she went to those stores.

Once she got out there and started trying stuff on, she found a few dresses that look so beautiful on her!!! She ended up going with one dress that was a v-neck and had seaming detail on the sides and an A-line skirt shape and it looked awesome on her! The v-neck highlighted her great bustline, the seaming at the waist created a waistline and the A-line shape really looks good on everyone. For her, the hardest part was getting out there and trying stuff on. Another thing was not getting discouraged when a dress didn't look good, because there were quite a few that looked great!!

About being 4'9, try to stand on one of those pedestal things before ruling a dress out. I'm short too (5'3) and it really helped to see what the dress looked like with a natural drape than rather just bunched up on the floor LOL. A hem is also one of the cheapest alterations, so I wouldn't worry too much about that (unless there is lace or detail at the bottom).

 

[sarahthewarrior]

I'm sorry I don't have links, but I think you should definitely wear a wedding dress if you can find the one you love. Here's a pic of one of my friends who got married last summer--I've never seen her look happier or more beautiful!

 

[Selkie]

Alfred Angelo has a nice selection of plus-size dresses. Actually, any of their dresses are available in any size, but their catalog includes models of all sizes.
Alfred Angelo.

They have their own stores, though I don''t think there are any in New England, with many samples in all sizes. It was really nice to go in and not have to squeeeeeze into a ridiculously small sample size that gave me no true idea of how I''d look. Many bridals salons carry the line too.

 

[zoebartlett]

You girls are great!! Thanks so much for your help. Sarah -- thanks so much for posting the picture you did. The bride looks beautiful! I was able to find a few dresses that I actually liked int he sites you ladies recommended, and some even had jackets or sleeves -- a big plus in my book.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I''m a 12 which I don''t consider to be a plus size (don''t they start at 14-16??). The idea of having to buy a "plus sized" wedding gress because WDs run small makes me sick. I really love the current lacy, relaxed, flowing styles that are out there but I know I''m goign to have trouble finding them in my size if they even look okay. I do NOT want a big poufy dress or even a stiff a-line dress, they''re just not my style. I''m dreading this part of wedding planning...Oh and the fact that you have to pay more for a 16 makes me sick as well!

 

[njc]

I agree with Summer... find a place that carries your size, it truely does make a difference!!! While I personally do not consider myself plus-sized a lot of people and the clothing industry do... I can wear anything from a 14 to an 18 and my wedding dress was a 16. I'm also really tall (6 feet), which helps, but also adds to problems as you know from being shorter.

I remember going to Macy's to try on dresses and the sales lady that helped me seemed SOO bothered by the fact I couldnt fit into any of her dresses. She would do something that held them together, but every time huffed and puffed about it. That really bugged me and killed what should have been a fun time and the dresses didnt look right either. I then found a local store that carried dresses in a WIIIIDE range of sizes and had more than like 2 dresses over a size 8. It was great. The sales lady there kept bringing dress after dress after dress all in MY size or larger! It was awesome, made the dress buying experience what it should have been! Whoever suggested calling ahead to ask what size samples they had, I think is a great idea. And also ask how many they have in the larger sizes. Limited choices wouldnt and didnt make me very excited.

I recently discovered that Lane Bryant has a small bridal section as well as a maternity line for if and when that time comes! Unfortunately neither is in the stores, but you can at least look at the dresses on REAL women! And if you care to check out my dress it is Dere Kiang.

I hope that helps you! Please dont be discouraged!!!

Oh, and I have NEVER been charged extra for ordering a 16 (or higher)... I would have been PIIIIISSED even if she hadnt made that comment!

 

[cara]

Yeah, the extra fee sucks for plus size. And the plus sized models are barely plus sized but generally really tall! So the proportion looks decent. But compared to a standard size 2-4 model that is 5''11" the "plus sized" models at size 12-16 are larger. I mean, look at the Vera Wang dress models - they are emaciated! The plus-models also probably get airbrushed to look "smooth" which helps.

You are going to have the shopping double whammy being both petite and plus sized. Stand on the pedastal when trying on dresses and look at if the torso hits you right. Especially if you would actually order the dress in a larger size. If you need torso alterations, be sure to talk to a seamstress about how possible these are. Its one thing to cut off the hem, but a lot of dresses I tried on were exactly the right length at the hem but the waist was in the wrong place. And look at the picture of the dress on a model so that you know what it might look like when appropriately sized. Some stores (generally those with a huge selection) will carry a few larger samples and it really helped to look at a few dresses close to the right size or even too big rather than always too small.

While you should try on a wide range of styles, try to think about what kind of cut on a normal dress looks good on you and how easily a dress could be altered to accommodate your shorter frame. Having shopped for my larger self and my thin petite friend both involve some imagination when presented with sample size dresses, but it is possible. Just try to start with finding the right silhouette.

Frankly you are a candidate for a custom cut dress. If the shopping doesn''t go well you might consider people who make dresses to your measurements (note that a lot of "custom" dress makers actually just send you a standard size and leave you to get it altered - you don''t want that. You want a dress actually made to your measurements.)

 

[FireGoddess]

David's Bridal has regular dresses in lots of sizes (up to 18 I think) and also has a plus size line (can't remember how far it goes...26 or more?) - I'd definitely check it out.

 

[cpster]

Don''t get discouraged...you will find the one! Some of the higher end designers actually will custom cut a gown for you. I had that done. While it did cost a bit more, in the end I think it balanced out. Once the gown came in, I needed just a slight alteration to tighted up the bust a little plus a bustle. Everything else was a perfect fit. Good luck!

 

[akw94]

Zoe, I too dreaded dress shopping! I am not thrilled w/my current size and am trying to lose weight so I wanted to wait until I lost. I decided that it was better to go ahead and go so I finally did. I found that David's Bridal has higher sizes than the boutiques. I also found that wedding dress sizes are about 2 sizes higher than your normal size. That was a bit frustrating but I just didn't pay attention to the size dress they brought me, tried them on, took lots of pics and decided based on what I thought looked best. They just asked me what my normal size was and brought out dresses according to their guidelines.
It took me a month or two to get out there and go shopping b/c I was afraid I wouldn't like the way I looked in anything. Although I didn't need a dress in the official plus-size section (from David's), I was really nervous about how I would look and if I would find anything that looked ok. I was pleasantly surprised and had a good experience shopping! I found that the a-line dresses looked the best on me. Anything too pouffy just wasn't flattering. I also decided to get the neckline altered b/c I'm not as fond of the straight across neckline and would like something a little curved.

I hope you have a good experience and I'd say, just go! Don't think about it too much. Maybe you can start at someplace like David's that has a large selection to get a feel for what you like. You will find something that works for you!

ETA: I also decided to get an ivory dress and now wonder if the white color was partly what I didn't like about the other dresses. I didn't try the one I bought on due to color but when I tried it on, I loved it.. both the simple style and the color.

Good luck!!

 

[basil]

For what it''s worth, I''m not plus size and I too dreaded dress shopping. I hate strangers touching me and seeing me in my underwear. I finally figured out that if I wore my own strapless bra and a half slip, I felt much more covered up, much more modest, and I began to like it a little more (though I still get some butterflies in my stomach when going dress shopping!)

I also liked the stores where the platform-y thing was inside your private dressing room rather than out in a big room. One store I went to, you had to walk out of the small changing room into a huge room with about 20 people including other brides, other brides'' friends and family, other store employees, etc., etc. I found that super uncomfortable with everyone looking at me and judging how I looked in any one dress. If you think this would bother you too, you can try to find a store where the dressing rooms are bigger and people can come in with you.

 

[decodelighted]

Hey Zoe!

Gotta say -- I really kinda avoided dress shopping too ... not just because I''m plus sized -- I just didn''t like a lot of poufy "wedding" styles & always wanted more of a shirtdress or like sharon stone did at the Oscars one year -- Men''s White shirt tied at the waist with a poufy skirt.

I feel kinda silly in dresses & have kind of an Annie Hall, menswear inspired vibe normally. Just thinking about going to the opposite extreme made me

.

The one thing that really helped me was having successfully worn a cute strapless BRIDESMAID dress in my sister''s wedding a couple years before - at about the same weight. When I tried that particular dress on I actually twirled in the David''s Bridal dressing room. I felt "Kate Spade"-esque. "Kicky". I squealed. Just that ONE positive experience made me think it was possible to be happy in a dress -- feel pretty -- pull it off.

I hope you get that kind of success EARLY in your process so you KNOW you can! My eventual wedding dress was from David''s also ... VERY similar in cut to the earlier bridesmaid dress.

I can kinda be a snob about things from time to time ... & NEVER expected to be doing Davids for MY wedding dress ... but I got over that when I felt great in the dress. Who CARES where it''s from ... if you don''t.

Good Luck!

 

[E B]

zoe,

I don't know much about this company, but what about something like this? It's knee-length, so it'd probably be longer on your petite frame:

Scalloped Lace Wedding Dress

 

[decodelighted]

Oh ... I also meant to say that the Indiebride forum has a long thread on plus sized wedding dresses -- AND -- a thread on "Non-traditional wedding dresses" --- AND --- "Colored wedding dresses" --- AND--- "Someone should get married in THIS dress".

Could have good ideas!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 4/27/2007 1:02:50 PM
Author: njc
I agree with Summer... find a place that carries your size, it truely does make a difference!!! While I personally do not consider myself plus-sized a lot of people and the clothing industry do... I can wear anything from a 14 to an 18 and my wedding dress was a 16. I''m also really tall (6 feet), which helps, but also adds to problems as you know from being shorter.

I remember going to Macy''s to try on dresses and the sales lady that helped me seemed SOO bothered by the fact I couldnt fit into any of her dresses. She would do something that held them together, but every time huffed and puffed about it. That really bugged me and killed what should have been a fun time and the dresses didnt look right either. I then found a local store that carried dresses in a WIIIIDE range of sizes and had more than like 2 dresses over a size 8. It was great. The sales lady there kept bringing dress after dress after dress all in MY size or larger! It was awesome, made the dress buying experience what it should have been! Whoever suggested calling ahead to ask what size samples they had, I think is a great idea. And also ask how many they have in the larger sizes. Limited choices wouldnt and didnt make me very excited.

I recently discovered that Lane Bryant has a small bridal section as well as a maternity line for if and when that time comes! Unfortunately neither is in the stores, but you can at least look at the dresses on REAL women! And if you care to check out my dress it is Dere Kiang.

I hope that helps you! Please dont be discouraged!!!

Oh, and I have NEVER been charged extra for ordering a 16 (or higher)... I would have been PIIIIISSED even if she hadnt made that comment!

Thanks njc! I looked at youe thread and your dress is beautiful! Thanks for the link to Lane Bryant. And about the comment that the sales lady once made to me, it made me so mad. I mean, I could have figured out all on my own that if a dress didn''t come in my size and they needed to make a larger one, more fabric may be needed. But seriously that''s NOT the thing to say to anyone. I"m sure she thought she was being helpful by pointing out the price differences on my sales slip.

Thanks for the encouragement!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 4/27/2007 1:30:52 PM
Author: cara
Yeah, the extra fee sucks for plus size. And the plus sized models are barely plus sized but generally really tall! So the proportion looks decent. But compared to a standard size 2-4 model that is 5''11'' the ''plus sized'' models at size 12-16 are larger. I mean, look at the Vera Wang dress models - they are emaciated! The plus-models also probably get airbrushed to look ''smooth'' which helps.

You are going to have the shopping double whammy being both petite and plus sized. Stand on the pedastal when trying on dresses and look at if the torso hits you right. Especially if you would actually order the dress in a larger size. If you need torso alterations, be sure to talk to a seamstress about how possible these are. Its one thing to cut off the hem, but a lot of dresses I tried on were exactly the right length at the hem but the waist was in the wrong place. And look at the picture of the dress on a model so that you know what it might look like when appropriately sized. Some stores (generally those with a huge selection) will carry a few larger samples and it really helped to look at a few dresses close to the right size or even too big rather than always too small.

While you should try on a wide range of styles, try to think about what kind of cut on a normal dress looks good on you and how easily a dress could be altered to accommodate your shorter frame. Having shopped for my larger self and my thin petite friend both involve some imagination when presented with sample size dresses, but it is possible. Just try to start with finding the right silhouette.

Frankly you are a candidate for a custom cut dress. If the shopping doesn''t go well you might consider people who make dresses to your measurements (note that a lot of ''custom'' dress makers actually just send you a standard size and leave you to get it altered - you don''t want that. You want a dress actually made to your measurements.)

Thanks for the tips Cara! I laughed at the highlighted part because it''s so true. Every time I buy clothes, I buy them big enough to fit my waist, but then I always need to have things (pants, specifically) taken in and up. By the time I can actually wear a lot of what I buy, it''s a week or so later than when I buy it. I also think of my clothes as being "Zoe-sized" because their sure not the size they started out being. I could make many quilts with all the left over fabric. If only I could sew.

I may consider going the custom route. As I mentioned above, that''s basically what ends up happening anyway.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 4/27/2007 1:53:39 PM
Author: dixie94
Zoe, I too dreaded dress shopping! I am not thrilled w/my current size and am trying to lose weight so I wanted to wait until I lost. I decided that it was better to go ahead and go so I finally did. I found that David''s Bridal has higher sizes than the boutiques. I also found that wedding dress sizes are about 2 sizes higher than your normal size. That was a bit frustrating but I just didn''t pay attention to the size dress they brought me, tried them on, took lots of pics and decided based on what I thought looked best. They just asked me what my normal size was and brought out dresses according to their guidelines.
It took me a month or two to get out there and go shopping b/c I was afraid I wouldn''t like the way I looked in anything. Although I didn''t need a dress in the official plus-size section (from David''s), I was really nervous about how I would look and if I would find anything that looked ok. I was pleasantly surprised and had a good experience shopping! I found that the a-line dresses looked the best on me. Anything too pouffy just wasn''t flattering. I also decided to get the neckline altered b/c I''m not as fond of the straight across neckline and would like something a little curved.

I hope you have a good experience and I''d say, just go! Don''t think about it too much. Maybe you can start at someplace like David''s that has a large selection to get a feel for what you like. You will find something that works for you!

ETA: I also decided to get an ivory dress and now wonder if the white color was partly what I didn''t like about the other dresses. I didn''t try the one I bought on due to color but when I tried it on, I loved it.. both the simple style and the color.

Good luck!!

Geez! Two sizes bigger??? How funny would that look on me! I''d literally be swimming in a dress. I''m picturing getting lost in a big, poofy white dress. Haha! I''ve never liked white on me -- I like softer colors, so I''m definitely going to check out ivory dresses.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Well the number is higher. The actual size of the dress is the same. That''s why as a size 12 I''ll need a 16.

Did anyone who has bought/shopped for a dress found that the styles offered in larger sizes are limited? I know it''s a stretch of the imagination but I love the look of a sheath dress. BF want''s me in a slip dress with a cowl neck (like Caroline Kennedy wore) but I think I''ll look like a big white pear in those...

 

[njc]

Zoe - Sorry for the hijack...

Hudson - I doubt you have problems finding a dress. I was a 14/16 regular clothes and my dress was a 16. I even tried on a Maggie with the corset back that was a 12 and it fit fine. Just try it all on and dont worry about the number.

 

[tanyak]

Date: 4/27/2007 3:40:53 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Well the number is higher. The actual size of the dress is the same. That's why as a size 12 I'll need a 16.

Did anyone who has bought/shopped for a dress found that the styles offered in larger sizes are limited? I know it's a stretch of the imagination but I love the look of a sheath dress. BF want's me in a slip dress with a cowl neck (like Caroline Kennedy wore) but I think I'll look like a big white pear in those...

I don't know about high-end designers like Vera Wang and Amsale, but a lot of bridal designers seem to make most of their dresses in larger sizes. The problem, though, is finding a shop that carries samples in larger sizes. A went to a couple of bridal stores and they seemed to have few larger size samples. I'm a size 18 and it did me no good to hold up a size 12 and "imagine" what it would look like. Nor was I willing to plunk down hundreds of dollars to order a dress in my size, have it come in and hate it on me.

That's why I ended up at David's. Say what you will about them, but I loved being able to try on a number of dresses in my size or only one size above or below what I needed. I bought my dress in November 2005 (got married in August) and since that time, David's has really increased the number of dresses available to larger brides.

ETA: David's Galina line has a lot of slinky, body-hugging gowns.

 

[E B]

Hudson,

GroupUSA has these sheath gowns (a la Caroline) in size 16s. And in my opinion, I think women with hips look the best in gowns like these.

Georgette Cowl Neck

Chiffon Halter