People who refer to their boyfriend as their husband...

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/15/2010 1:53:09 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 3/15/2010 1:33:51 PM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/15/2010 1:28:39 PM

Author: monarch64

Date: 3/15/2010 1:19:19 PM


Author: DivaDiamond007


Galatia - I don''t know why you''re rolling your eyes at me because I think it''s legally and morally wrong to begin a (romantic) relationship with another when you are still married. For what it''s worth, I think it''s incredibly immature to wave divorce papers around to try to exert some type of control over someone. Maybe he should have gotten an attorney. Or a better one. The second woman is his mistress, whether she wants to be called that or not and whether or not the two have held themselves out to be married to others.


The whole situation sounds like a Lifetime movie to me

Yes, it is rude to withhold signing divorce papers as a way to control someone. I know, because it happened to me. I also started seeing someone romantically before my divorce was officially finalized. Feel free to throw stones.

*THROWING STONES*! Tramp.

Yep. I should''ve been made to wear a scarlett ''A'' on my trampy bosom. I tried to be less trampy, I had been separated for 1.5 years and 5 hours of distance, but of course...no amount of reasoning on my part will ever make me not a tramp. I dared to taint the institution of marriage.


I don''t know how people get through life by taking everything so SERIOUSLY. Seriously.

HAHAHA YOU''RE a tramp??? I guess I probably shouldn''t bring up the fact that DH was separated when I met and started dating him, huh? Pass the felt and the pinking shears, I need to make myself a red letter too. Well, at least you know you''re in good company on the bus ride to hell.

 

[monarch64]

HH--I might also be a hussy, harlot, jezebel, and floozy. And I will totally save you a seat on that bus.

 

[Black Jade]

This thread is going to keep going around in circles. Some who are posting do not believe that lying is wrong--especially if you benefit from it. They do not think that adultery is wrong. They seem to think that if you do something wrong for a long time (15 years) it then becomes right, somehow. The only thing that they DO clearly think is wrong is ''judgment''.

Well, I don''t know anyone here personally, so it really doesn''t matter. In real life (off-line) I reserve the right to stop associating with people who turn out to be liars and don''t see a problem with it, who commit adultery and then make excuses as to why their spouse was the person who was at fault, etc. etc. I wouldn''t call this judgmentalism, but self-preservation. How do I know when and where they draw the line--a liar is going to lie to me, and a selfish person who doesn''t care about their OWN children--well, you draw the conclusion.
It''s definitely scary to live in a society where many, many people have no sense of no sense of right or wrong anymore. As newspaper headlines prove daily. But I don''t think anyone posting on Pricescope is going to teach morality in 10 lines to those who either never heard it from parents/teachers/faith leaders--or did hear it and decided to drop it. I don''t think the OP is ever going to get the couple she was writing about to understand why their behavior is a problem and so its best just to refuse the wedding invitation and ease herself out of their lives, now that they have made it plain what kind of people they are--to use a ''religious'' word that I don''t know a substitute for, the problem is here is not just what they did but that there is no repentance, and no idea that there is a need for it.

 

[LadyBlue]

Date: 3/15/2010 1:34:12 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier

Date: 3/15/2010 1:19:19 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007
Galatia - I don''t know why you''re rolling your eyes at me because I think it''s legally and morally wrong to begin a (romantic) relationship with another when you are still married. For what it''s worth, I think it''s incredibly immature to wave divorce papers around to try to exert some type of control over someone. Maybe he should have gotten an attorney. Or a better one. The second woman is his mistress, whether she wants to be called that or not and whether or not the two have held themselves out to be married to others.

The whole situation sounds like a Lifetime movie to me

Wait, what?

Did I miss the part about the church couple starting to date BEFORE he chose to leave his first wife? Did he not file for legal separation? Forgive me if I just missed it.

Ara Ann said:
"As a married woman myself, I just keep wondering about his first wife and feel bad for her. She wanted to make things work, they had three kids together...but this new ''bride'' (who was his old flame before he married first wife) comes along back into his life. I guess I just wonder if he''d have worked it out with his wife, if the new woman hadn''t been in his home, being his pseudo wife"

Seems like they were in a relationship before he was married. Not while he was in a relationship with the wife.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:05:00 PM
Author: monarch64
HH--I might also be a hussy, harlot, jezebel, and floozy. And I will totally save you a seat on that bus.

In the last few minutes you have also collected 'adulterer'! You're on a roll!

Date: 3/15/2010 2:11:05 PM
Author: gaby06
Ara Ann said:

'As a married woman myself, I just keep wondering about his first wife and feel bad for her. She wanted to make things work, they had three kids together...but this new 'bride' (who was his old flame before he married first wife) comes along back into his life. I guess I just wonder if he'd have worked it out with his wife, if the new woman hadn't been in his home, being his pseudo wife'

Seems like they were in a relationship before he was married. Not while he was in a relationship with the wife.

Seems like they were already on the outs before the new wife came back into the picture, as well.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:05:00 PM
Author: monarch64
HH--I might also be a hussy, harlot, jezebel, and floozy. And I will totally save you a seat on that bus.

Wait, save me one, too! I''m not divorced and I never dated anyone who was separated, but I''d much rather hang out with hussies like you than with all the holier-than-thou women who have never done anything wrong in their lives.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:11:19 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 3/15/2010 2:05:00 PM
Author: monarch64
HH--I might also be a hussy, harlot, jezebel, and floozy. And I will totally save you a seat on that bus.

In the last few minutes you have also collected ''adulterer''! You''re on a roll!

Eh well...I figure some of the viewpoints here are coming from people who''ve been terribly hurt by things in life. I know a little of my bitterness comes out sometimes when I find myself offended by something that''s posted, and it usually stems from my unique perspective on it. I don''t think for one second that any of the opinions in this thread are unbiased. If it makes people feel better to look at someone else''s choices and feel righteous and self-satisfied, and that helps them get through the day, who am I to take away that pleasure?

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:08:02 PM
Author: Black Jade
This thread is going to keep going around in circles. Some who are posting do not believe that lying is wrong--especially if you benefit from it. They do not think that adultery is wrong. They seem to think that if you do something wrong for a long time (15 years) it then becomes right, somehow. The only thing that they DO clearly think is wrong is 'judgment'.

Well, I don't know anyone here personally, so it really doesn't matter. In real life (off-line) I reserve the right to stop associating with people who turn out to be liars and don't see a problem with it, who commit adultery and then make excuses as to why their spouse was the person who was at fault, etc. etc. I wouldn't call this judgmentalism, but self-preservation. How do I know when and where they draw the line--a liar is going to lie to me, and a selfish person who doesn't care about their OWN children--well, you draw the conclusion.
It's definitely scary to live in a society where many, many people have no sense of no sense of right or wrong anymore. As newspaper headlines prove daily. But I don't think anyone posting on Pricescope is going to teach morality in 10 lines to those who either never heard it from parents/teachers/faith leaders--or did hear it and decided to drop it. I don't think the OP is ever going to get the couple she was writing about to understand why their behavior is a problem and so its best just to refuse the wedding invitation and ease herself out of their lives, now that they have made it plain what kind of people they are--to use a 'religious' word that I don't know a substitute for, the problem is here is not just what they did but that there is no repentance, and no idea that there is a need for it.

Lying is wrong. But I don't know anyone that can't say that they have not lied for some reason or another. Even you, Black Jade, have lied, I am sure.

My issue here is WHY is divorce the magical endpoint? Why is it that the legal system is what dictates, in this case, morality? When two people have agreed that their marriage is dissolved, and are living apart legally, who is to say that their marriage is really being upheld?

And why are the religious feeling the need to judge the non-religious according to their religious guidelines for morality? Why should religion dictate what is socially a legal institution? Getting married in a church doesn't count until those legal documents are turned in and recorded.

If it sounds like I'm talking in circles, it's because I don't really understand the point Black Jade was trying to make, because plainly, those people that believe once a relationship is over, means it's over, and does not believe that it's over when the legal system believes it's over. And Black Jade not only disagrees with this outlook, but also shuns and judges those who believe that.

 

[LilyKat]

I think that intentionally deceiving others about anything, including your marital status, is wrong.

But as a Christian, I also think that showing compassion, understanding and forgiveness to those who fall short is far more important.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/15/2010 10:05:33 AM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/15/2010 9:04:02 AM
Author: gaby06

Date: 3/15/2010 7:41:02 AM

Author: Maisie

Without going into a religious discussion (which we aren''t allowed to on PS) there are rules/requirements in the Bible about divorce and remarriage. I can understand why people might not think this situation is ok in the eyes of God.

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Exactly, gaby. It''s funny that all the religious people are the ones who have a problem with this and are judging this woman. Pretty sure there''s a lot in the bible about not judging. Besides, Ara Ann has pointed out that her church supposedly doesn''t judge its members. (I guess the pastor doesn''t, at least-looks like the other members sure do!)

Quit judging *all* the religious people T2. I''m religious, but it doesn''t matter in this case to me.

I get the deception bit. I also get that Ara Ann is put off by it. But I''m a huge believer in the power of forgiveness and grace. That is the core of what I believe.

 

[IloveAsschers13]

I think I am very judgmental, I just keep it to myself.

And comparing this to polygamy? This is no way, shape, or form this; rather, it is this.

On another note, there is not one true and right definition for what is right and wrong for everyone

I just keep thinking, what if those people knew of this website, ever, and read this? I shudder to think about that.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 3/15/2010 2:53:29 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/15/2010 10:05:33 AM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/15/2010 9:04:02 AM

Author: gaby06

Date: 3/15/2010 7:41:02 AM

Author: Maisie

Without going into a religious discussion (which we aren''t allowed to on PS) there are rules/requirements in the Bible about divorce and remarriage. I can understand why people might not think this situation is ok in the eyes of God.

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Exactly, gaby. It''s funny that all the religious people are the ones who have a problem with this and are judging this woman. Pretty sure there''s a lot in the bible about not judging. Besides, Ara Ann has pointed out that her church supposedly doesn''t judge its members. (I guess the pastor doesn''t, at least-looks like the other members sure do!)

Quit judging *all* the religious people T2. I''m religious, but it doesn''t matter in this case to me.

I get the deception bit. I also get that Ara Ann is put off by it. But I''m a huge believer in the power of forgiveness and grace. That is the core of what I believe.

I''m not judging *all* religious people. To clarify: I was/am referring to *all* the religious people in this thread, who have spoken out against this woman so far, AND are using their religious beliefs as a reason to judge her. So that''s not all religious people everywhere, or all religious people on Pricescope, or even all religious people in this thread. /clarification.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/15/2010 3:03:13 PM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/15/2010 2:53:29 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/15/2010 10:05:33 AM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/15/2010 9:04:02 AM

Author: gaby06

Date: 3/15/2010 7:41:02 AM

Author: Maisie

Without going into a religious discussion (which we aren''t allowed to on PS) there are rules/requirements in the Bible about divorce and remarriage. I can understand why people might not think this situation is ok in the eyes of God.

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Exactly, gaby. It''s funny that all the religious people are the ones who have a problem with this and are judging this woman. Pretty sure there''s a lot in the bible about not judging. Besides, Ara Ann has pointed out that her church supposedly doesn''t judge its members. (I guess the pastor doesn''t, at least-looks like the other members sure do!)

Quit judging *all* the religious people T2. I''m religious, but it doesn''t matter in this case to me.

I get the deception bit. I also get that Ara Ann is put off by it. But I''m a huge believer in the power of forgiveness and grace. That is the core of what I believe.

I''m not judging *all* religious people. To clarify: I was/am referring to *all* the religious people in this thread, who have spoken out against this woman so far, AND are using their religious beliefs as a reason to judge her. So that''s not all religious people everywhere, or all religious people on Pricescope, or even all religious people in this thread. /clarification.

T2, I know, I was totally teasing you and came on to put a wrench in the "all".

 

[jewelz617]

Edit: no religion talk. Must. Not. Discuss.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 3/15/2010 3:05:45 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/15/2010 3:03:13 PM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/15/2010 2:53:29 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/15/2010 10:05:33 AM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/15/2010 9:04:02 AM

Author: gaby06

Date: 3/15/2010 7:41:02 AM

Author: Maisie

Without going into a religious discussion (which we aren't allowed to on PS) there are rules/requirements in the Bible about divorce and remarriage. I can understand why people might not think this situation is ok in the eyes of God.

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Exactly, gaby. It's funny that all the religious people are the ones who have a problem with this and are judging this woman. Pretty sure there's a lot in the bible about not judging. Besides, Ara Ann has pointed out that her church supposedly doesn't judge its members. (I guess the pastor doesn't, at least-looks like the other members sure do!)

Quit judging *all* the religious people T2. I'm religious, but it doesn't matter in this case to me.

I get the deception bit. I also get that Ara Ann is put off by it. But I'm a huge believer in the power of forgiveness and grace. That is the core of what I believe.

I'm not judging *all* religious people. To clarify: I was/am referring to *all* the religious people in this thread, who have spoken out against this woman so far, AND are using their religious beliefs as a reason to judge her. So that's not all religious people everywhere, or all religious people on Pricescope, or even all religious people in this thread. /clarification.

T2, I know, I was totally teasing you and came on to put a wrench in the 'all'.

Ha, why I oughta!

And for the record, I am related to(some might even say outnumbered by

) many, many religious peeps. If people are going to be religious, I like the "forgiveness and grace" kind a lot better than the judgey kind. Most of the ones I'm related to are the former, thankfully.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

This thread is clearly disintegrating into a debate about religion, so I''m bowing out.

 

[Ella]

As this thread has gotten completely off track, it will now be closed.