Other people posting pix of your rings

[Daniela]

Date: 8/9/2005 11:11:35 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:


I have scant jewellery and no one likes me here, that is why you never see my stuff unless I post it myself! Flatter me PLEASE!!!

cheers--Sharon

Hehehe!

 

[sjz]

Date: 8/9/2005 11:06:21 PM
Author: moremoremore
LOL sevens! Those were the days! Taking a shower in a plastic bubble, brushing my teeth in the kitchen LOL...

I have realized why this thread bugs the heck out of me.

PS is such a great place...we are all supporting, sharing, showing, telling, advising, helping...so it''s like a given that people post pictures of other''s rings. It''s not only a given, I think it''s largely appreciated and welcomed here. It''s just a little surprising when someone has a problem with it.

OK, moving on!

It''s a supporting, sharing, showing, telling, advising, helping place MOST of the time. Until a thread like this comes along, where so many people feel like they can belittle someone for posting their opinion. I''ve seen so many threads blow up for no good reason lately, just because someone posts an opinion that doesn''t go along with the way the majority feels. And yes, I think that some of the comments that have been made have been belittling. If someone doesn''t want other''s to post pictures of their rings, why can''t we all just respect that and let it go, whether you agree with her or not?

 

[Mara]

Personally, I feel like this thread's purpose would have been better served via PM from MA to whoever she felt was violating her rights. aka a simple 'please don't post my pictures without my permission' or similar. But by taking it public, just like posting pictures or comments about anything else publicly, you open it up to discussion, opinions, comments....etc.

 

[sxn675]

*sigh* I wish my jewels were memorable enough that people would want to post pictures of them for me! I''d be flattered that someone thought of my little e-ring or pendant (I think those are the only pictures I''ve ever posted). I think people are doing it to be helpful AND you never know when someone is taking a break from PS. I take a break now and again when I''m getting ring-envy and/or are busy, and I''d hate for someone who is looking for my setting to not be able to see a picture. I also think that the more angles of a ring, the better. So, if someone posted a picture that you wouldn''t have chosen, it can only help more to post another picture....

 

[sjz]

Date: 8/9/2005 11:29:56 PM
Author: Mara
Personally, I feel like this thread's purpose would have been better served via PM from MA to whoever she felt was violating her rights. aka a simple 'please don't post my pictures without my permission' or similar. But by taking it public, just like posting pictures or comments about anything else publicly, you open it up to discussion.

Yeah, but just because she voiced her opinion publicly doesn't mean it's ok to be catty or make fun of her. I didn't even read this thread until it was 2 pages long, and it went from respectful disagreement with her opinion to people making snide comments and jokes at her expense. It was only a handful of people, but I'm kind of embarassed for them. Just because this is the internet and we are somewhat anonymous doesn't mean it's OK to ditch our manners and be tacky toward each other. Maybe this would have been handled better via PM, but the thread was started, and I don't see why the topic couldn't have been discussed in a nicer and more respectful way.

Then again, I suppose we can look at it another way...MA opened herself up to people's critism...but some of you opened yourself up to looking meanspirited by the way you responded to her. A lot of people here are always telling others not to take things so personally and not get upset over other people's words...most of them are the same people who are the first ones to use the hurtful words. Maybe if we'd all be nicer to each other, people wouldn't be getting offended so often around here.

 

[websailor]

I''ve read and re-read MA''s original post a number of times. I think she very politely and respectfully stated some of her feelings and asked for comments. I don''t think she was asking for the public mauling (IMHO) that she got at the hands of a few people.

As several other people have commented, this could have been discussed in a respectfull manner.

Several people have brought up valid discussions points - the use of PMs is one example - but these tend to get lost/discarded in the nastiness. Thus what could have been a very enlightening topic has turned into one that is, again in my opinion, not worthy of the Pricescope website ideals.

----------- separating out my specific comments on the starting post -----------

I respect MAs desire to be given the first chance to post her own pictures. It is not at all asking too much of me to PM her first, and to give her a decent amount of time for a reply/post. In fact, I would be honored to give the heads up to another fellow PSer and let them get some attention for their jewelery.

Thank you MA for letting me know how you feel about this - I appreciate that!

 

[browser]

Just because the majority of people don''t mind have their pictures reposted, it doesn''t mean we shouldn''t respect the minority of people who DO mind.

MA simply said she''d prefer if people didn''t repost her pictures. Why was this worthy of so much "hating"? Perhaps she could have handled it differently but seriously...some of the comments have been downright mean such as "I don''t see what the problem is except you getting your feelings hurt" etc. I could be wrong but I think hurting someone''s feelings IS a problem...

Now, I certainly appreciate the effort so many go to to post pictures in various threads and I''m not meaning to crictize those people because they help make PS so great, but I don''t blame MA for wanting to be the one to re-post her own pictures. (Furthermore, just because someone posts their pictures on one thread in PS does not mean they have given up their ownership and control of their pictures...even though it seems that way lol.)

I guess it''s hard to know unless someone says they mind...so maybe people who don''t want them reposted could say so when they post (or maybe even note it on the picture?) and then everyone else could respect their wishes...? Kinda an "opt-out" thing? I think that seems fair.

 

[Mara]

"Maybe if we'd all be nicer to each other, people wouldn't be getting offended so often around here."

And I'm sorry but maybe if people had thicker skins then people wouldn't feel the need to a) be offended and/or b) feel the need to chime in to tell others that they should be nicer. I hold firm with the belief that if you post something publicly, you open yourself up to all the comments. Good, bad and all the random in-betweens. It's a given! It has happened to every one of us in the past. Why is there so much WHINING around here about how people express their opinions?

What do you people do with the numerous occassions in 'real life' when you don't like something or someone or what they say? Probably ignore it, right? Or don't talk to them anymore? Do you slap the hand and tell them...wow you really should be nicer??

Personally, I see threads on here which I don't agree with one or more times a day but I just move along until I find something that I have to add. Good or bad. It's important to remember that these forums are about any one of us or making any one of us happy. Seriously. To me this is not rocket science. Then again I have a very very thick skin and have a hard time relating to those who do not.

ETA: I am sure there will be people who disagree with me or think 'wow she is so mean'. Everyone has different opinions, that's fine and I can respect that. But stop with the drilling about how you think people should treat others. Everyone already knows what you (collective you, no one in particular...) think. Just as some probably find people with strong opinions and no fear intimidating, it could be that the thick skinned find others tiring.

 

[sevens one]

I wish I had thick skin

 

[Mara]

Date: 8/10/2005 12:25:26 AM
Author: sevens one
I wish I had thick skin

Is that like wishing you had blonde hair?

 

[sjz]

I can''t speak for anyone else, but I very rarely ever have anyone speak rudely to me, or make comments to me like the ones I sometimes see posted on these threads in real life. I tend to think that most people are much more polite and considerate of other''s people''s feelings when they have to look them in the eye, as opposed to sitting alone at home and typing it on a keyboard. I''m sorry, I really don''t see why we all need to develop "thick skins" to be a part of a diamond info website? Is it really that hard to be nice?

 

[Mara]

Date: 8/10/2005 12:33:45 AM
Author: sjz

I'm sorry, I really don't see why we all need to develop 'thick skins' to be a part of a diamond info website? Is it really that hard to be nice?

The little dance will then continue...honestly and realistically, I really don't see anyone changing the way they think one way or another.

 

[diamondfan]

Not to belabor a point, but sometimes the trouble with cyber communication is that you cannot see facial expressions or hear a tone of voice or see body language...sometimes something can come across as sarcastic when it was not meant to be, or comes of in a way not intended. Certainly this makes it a great venue for people who might be more cowardly, for want of a btter term, when they communicate in face to face dealings. Also, some people are not word mincers, they communiate very succintly. In email, that can seem abrupt, when it is really just not flowery; no harm meant. Just playing devil''s advocate. You cannot always know how someone meant something or how recipients will take it...the nature of communication. Of course, on PS as in life, there are bound to be people who MEAN to be nasty, but let''s hope the pissy mood passes quickly. We can also just agree to disagree...

 

[Buena Girl]

I am really surprised at the spin this thread took.

I think the majority of people really appreciate all of the dedicated posters who quickly answer threads. I don''t think that anyone was personally criticizing their zest and helpfulness. Why did so many people take it so personally??? You all do a fantastic job.

I think the main point was to put the oppinion out there that it would be nice if people were''t quite as quick to post others'' pictures. Give people maybe 6 hours or so from the original start of the thread so that others have a chance to read it and post their pics. If the thread is still going later that day, and the pics have not been posted, then I think it''s fair game to post others'' pics.

I find it a bit ironic that lots of people ask/plead/beg for more photos from people of their rings, but feel that after the pics have been posted than they are fair game for all pscopers to repost.

 

[sjz]

Date: 8/10/2005 12:36:23 AM
Author: Mara

Date: 8/10/2005 12:33:45 AM
Author: sjz

I''m sorry, I really don''t see why we all need to develop ''thick skins'' to be a part of a diamond info website? Is it really that hard to be nice?

The little dance will then continue...honestly and realistically, I really don''t see anyone changing the way they think one way or another.

No, people won''t change the way that they think. But people don''t need to post everything they think. I don''t think that constructive critism is a bad thing, nor do I think that fairminded debate is a bad thing. But no matter how you justify it, I simply don''t see the need for people to make fun of others, or post things intentionally to make someone else feel silly, stupid, or embarassed. That''s just not cool. At least not in my world it''s not. Granted, I''m a middle aged woman from Podunk, USA..not terribly sophisticated or urbane, not really all that well educated about diamonds or a lot of other things. But I know how to be nice, polite, and respectful. For the most part. At least I try. Ok, I''m done with this dance now. Thanks.

 

[browser]

"Why is there so much WHINING around here about how people express their opinions?"

Probably for the same reason there is so much WHINING around here about what opinions people express

But seriously...I know it won''t change your mind...but when people express their opinions in a rude, demeaning way, it deters other people from sharing their pictures and their knowledge and their experiences. And personally, I believe that''s a huge disservice to everyone who comes to PS. I''m not about being nice, but about keeping a respectful tone so people feel comfortable posting.

Bottomline - there''s a line between posting a negative comment in an effort to accomplish something constructive and posting something rude just for the sake of posting something rude and we should, for the sake of the PS community, all be mature enough and therefore sensitive enough to know the difference.

And that''s all I got.

Anyway, I think it''s time we all put down the clubs and walk away from the dead horse (poor dear never stood a chance!) and get back to the diamonds.

 

[Mara]

For me personally, the disconnect lies in what offends people. Since I am very rarely offended, I have no real clue how others get so easily offended or what triggers the drama. And yes some do easily offend. But whatever, honestly I don't lose any sleep over people who may miscontrue a word or a line or whatever. It takes all kinds. I'm actually fairly nice in real life (HAH if you can believe it, someone actually called me 'darling' (aka Greg your wife is darling!) the other day at a wedding).

I don't suffer fools lightly and make no bones about it though. I feel comfortable enough to tell my friends in real life when I think they are being nutso. They appreciate my honestly and bluntness at times. I know I could probably err on the side of sweetness and light more often, but it really takes alot of energy and you have no idea how often I do it anyway.

Bottom line for me is that I think it's wrong for people to come and chime in with blatantly hateful comments such as 'I hate your ring' or 'I hate your house and how you decorated it' or 'You are an idiot'....but other than that I think it's all about how people construe comments and how they intend to respond. If someone says something you don't like, don't respond? It takes two (or three or ten) to tango. And oh do we all tango quite well on here.

Anyway, I also wanted to say that I was playing extra strong devils advocate for fun in the last 3-4 posts....but it did feel good to say STOP WHINING...

 

[decodelighted]

This whole thread started with one person ASKING opinions. I can''t imagine why anyone is getting "bent out of shape" at people for OFFERING opinions. My opinion is that PERSONALLY, TO ME, it seems ungracious to object to people re-posting pictures that have already been shared in a PUBLIC forum, with seemingly only the best of intentions. IMO only -- intentions are key here: with one possible intention: seeking personal gratification & praise ... and one possible intention: helping others find ideas & info. Plain & simple --If you don''t want OPINIONS pro and con, don''t ask in a public forum.

 

[movie zombie]

MA, in further thinking about this, perhaps this was an issue to be taken up with the administrator who sets the rules and guidelines for pricescope. as far as i know [but i could be wrong] there are no rules that forbid the posting of someone else''s pictures...and i personally would hate to see such a rule imposed.

on a personal basis: i understand the concept of being nice. i also understand disappointment. let''s be clear about that before i say it is not my responsibility to remember who does or who does not want to have their pictures re-posted. it is, however, my responsibility to correctly identify who''s ring i am re-posting should such a time ever come when i learn how to do so.

nighty night, all.

peace, movie zombie

 

[burnban35]

I’m fairly new here at PS. I have always appreciated all of the pictures posted and it has never mattered to me who posted them. If someone posted a photo of my ring and I wanted in on the fun I’m sure I would respond with a Thank you for posting my ring, add whatever other picture of it I wanted and any other information that I wanted to share that was relevant to the thread. Just because my picture is already there doesn’t mean I couldn’t take part in the topic.

I have posted my setting and diamond and can’t wait for Friday when I post the finished product. I will then sit and wait for Sevens to post it in the Eye Candy folder for me. If anyone would like to post it in the “show me your eternity….” I’m okay with that too.

But I still ponder why a thread like this is on three pages and I couldn’t get help with a matching a band to an e-ring when I first joined, where were your opinions then? (Please know that I say this with a smile and have an ill sense of humor

).

 

[sarita]

Geez, I saw this thread when it first started and didn''t bother to post due to (what I felt) as irony and noticed the # of replies now and figured I''d read it since I can''t sleep.

I feel like the majority of posters here, and can relate to what some other posters have mentioned - not only would I not mind but I would love to see others post or reference my ring. I agree with what one poster said that it can seem obnoxious when you''re posting so many of your photos all the time, but everyone else seems to do it, so hopefully I won''t be flogged for my recent barrage.

I really wanted to show my rings but with the tiny amount of nice jewelry I own this is basically it for me. I was actually kind of waiting for my stuff to be posted on the main eye-candy thread because it seems that that''s how it''s done around here and I kind of like that. It seems sweet, I guess. Then after seeing the thread updated with newer rings posted around the same time as mine, (and some even more recent) without mine being linked I began to worry if I was deliberately overlooked, maybe for posting so many of my own elsewhere and being perceived as a show-off.

I know that''s stupid and admittedly very arrogant of me to think but it was how I felt. Ultimately I did want them there so I posted them today myself, end of story.

Getting back to the point, MA did express her view very tactfully, but I don''t really get it. She has to know that others worship her vast collection and mean her only compliments.

 

[FireGoddess]

Basically, I just come away from this thread with the knowledge that MA doesn''t want other people to post pics of her rings in threads where they may be appropriate - she wants the joy of doing it herself. That''s cool.

I know what the excitement is like to post your ring again in a new thread where it is relevant, and sometimes, someone will beat you to that punch. Sometimes it''s not even the best picture that they''ve chosen. If that happens to me, I''ll chime in with some more info and post more pictures. I don''t mind if people post my ring...nobody used to do it before when it was only in a no-frills setting...so it''s kinda nice that people even remember it now.

If someone asks a question and a certain PSer''s ring pops into my mind, I''ll link to it and repost a picture so it can be checked out again by the asker. Now I know that if I''m thinking of MA''s ring, I won''t post it. That''s about all! No harm, no foul. If MA doesn''t post on the thread, her ring won''t be mentioned.

I do agree that if there''s a bunch of people who feel as MA do, then maybe you should put it in your sigfile or something so that everyone knows this is how you feel, and is constantly reminded of it. Cuz in reality, there are too many people and too many rings on here to remember a dozen people that don''t want others to post their pictures. That''s my two cents!!!

 

[MrsFrk]

I understand where you are coming from, Mary Alaina- and since you asked, yes, I do feel you are being overly sensitive. I would just be flattered. You have an entire website devoted to your jewelry, I would think that you would be delighted to have your pics shared. I think perhaps others erroneously made the same assumption, and we now know how you feel about it. Problem solved.

This makes me think of those photo sites like Webshots...my sister is the queen of random Internet stuff, she finds the funniest pictures. I''m quite sure that when some of these drunken half naked coeds create a Webshots album they don''t realize that if you Google "hammered college girls" there they are, for the world to see. That image is not personal, it''s now in the public domain.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 8/9/2005 10:57:46 PM
Author: LadyluvsLuxury
. I do find that many times members tend to ''gang'' up on others, thereby creating a hostile environment which prevents other members from presenting an opinion contrary to ''public belief''. I know this because it happened to me awhile back in a thread where it was me against the world (over exaggeration), and then I receive 20+ PMs with those in support of my opinion but afraid of posting openly for fear of verbal retaliation. There are many strong-willed and opinionated people on here, and that makes each topic more interesting to discuss, but I do think we should keep the environment less ''catty'' as stated before in order to foster an environment welcoming all opinions. I also think a good compromise is to just not post MA''s rings any more. However, whenever I do get my BLING

feel free to post and repost as many times as you would like because I know intimately how much this helps in my search. Signing out from the east coast!

i get gang up all the time

haven''t bother me yet... hee,hee

verbal retaliation?

how they used to say it in grade school? sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me.

 

[LadyluvsLuxury]

Date: 8/10/2005 4:12:17 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 8/9/2005 10:57:46 PM
Author: LadyluvsLuxury
. I do find that many times members tend to ''gang'' up on others, thereby creating a hostile environment which prevents other members from presenting an opinion contrary to ''public belief''. I know this because it happened to me awhile back in a thread where it was me against the world (over exaggeration), and then I receive 20+ PMs with those in support of my opinion but afraid of posting openly for fear of verbal retaliation. There are many strong-willed and opinionated people on here, and that makes each topic more interesting to discuss, but I do think we should keep the environment less ''catty'' as stated before in order to foster an environment welcoming all opinions. I also think a good compromise is to just not post MA''s rings any more. However, whenever I do get my BLING

feel free to post and repost as many times as you would like because I know intimately how much this helps in my search. Signing out from the east coast!

i get gang up all the time

haven''t bother me yet... hee,hee

verbal retaliation?

how they used to say it in grade school? sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me.

Words do hurt! When I was 8 years old my mother heard my say the word ''damn'' and smacked the taste out of my mouth!

 

[moremoremore]

I don't think there is ganging up...it's just that a lot of us share the same opinion...Yes, I agree that MA has certainly expressed her opinion tactfully...however, you can't come on to a public forum built upon getting comments and feedback from others and then ask a question about other's feelings and then expect to answers that all agree with you and/or be sugar coated.

I also think that this thread went over like a lead balloon b/c (not that MA is arrogant) but there is a little arrogance in a post on a diamond chat site that basically says....I want to post my own pictures, have the common courtesy to ask me before you post...

Maybe a better word is ungracious...I agree 100% deco! It's quite ungracious in my opinion and I think that's why the thread is getting unreceptive comments...

Anyhoo....I'm moving on.

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 8/10/2005 1:12:49 AM
Author: movie zombie
MA, in further thinking about this, perhaps this was an issue to be taken up with the administrator who sets the rules and guidelines for pricescope. as far as i know [but i could be wrong] there are no rules that forbid the posting of someone else's pictures...and i personally would hate to see such a rule imposed.


on a personal basis: i understand the concept of being nice. i also understand disappointment. let's be clear about that before i say it is not my responsibility to remember who does or who does not want to have their pictures re-posted. it is, however, my responsibility to correctly identify who's ring i am re-posting should such a time ever come when i learn how to do so.


peace, movie zombie

I agree with MZ on this. Whenever, I post a ring i always give credit to the owner and a link to the original thread. I also want to apologize again to MA for posting her ring in the thread I started about WF in June. I did not mean any harm at all, i just posted the first few rings I could think of. I had seen other members do the same thing and didn't realize it might be a problem. (i.e. mara's eterntiy thread)
If there are others out there who feel the same way please pm me and I will be happy to delete/remove the post. I do want to say, since MA used my thread/post as an example I have a little bit of a right to express my feelings on the matter. I wish she would have just PM'd me. It would have saved us a lot of trouble and "hurt" feelings. Unfortunately, she made this issue public and personal (towards me). I have already deleted the post. MA, you need not worry, I will not repost a picture of your rings

I pm'd Leonid to see what Pricescopes opinion is on this issue

 

[allycat0303]

Mrsalvo,

It would be so difficult to know who wants, and who doesn''t want their ring reposted. You really couldn''t possibly have known. Hugs! You''ve been such a wonderful help to so many.

 

[dazedland]

IMHO...
I wouldn''t have the diamond that I have if I hadn''t found PS, nor the e-ring that I have today if Blue hadn''t posted the halo collages for me, and without the help of many I might have a huge halo on my ring from the pictures I posted and got feedback from of the wax. I think it''s flattering when someone posts a picture of my ring in a thread because even though I have only met one PS''er in person I feel like everyone on here is a friend in some form because of the kind words and help they have given. You can always add another picture or comment in the thread.

On that note please don''t slam me here, and I am not jealous, but if all one cares about is showing off their multiple pieces of jewelry or their car it doesn''t make me happy for them like I am for all the others that post jewelry that help others out, or if it''s coming from a good place, I''m sorry, but I don''t get that feelng from MA, I think when you have posted that many pictures of your multiple pieces of jewelry it''s selfish to be upset when someone posts a picture of your ring when you posted it in the first place to show it off (which is why we post our rings because we are proud of them). I don''t know if I got my point across here or not because I''m not trying to be a total B*&#H, but why not be upset over something important?

 

[IrishEyes]

whoa whoa whoa. Mary Alaina has a beautiful collection of jewelry. Maybe I did miss your point. Are you trying to say that she is being selfish and is flauting her collection out of selfishisness, instead of trying to help people?? If that is what you are saying, then I think you are wrong, IMO. I don''t care what the reasoning is behind posting a picture of jewelry, whether it is to shamelessly flaunt something you are proud of, or to inspire someone else to recreate it. Either way, I think many here on PS just want to see great diamonds and works of jewelry, because many of us consider it like an artform almost. As for her being kind of upset, I commend her for coming forward with how she feels. It IS a public forum, and anyone CAN just post the pic for someone else, however she has a right to feel like her "thunder was stolen" and get a little upset that SHE didn''t get to post it first. I think that is all she is saying.....