Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamond

[CheapAsChips]

Hello everyone,

First off, thank you to everyone on PS for arming me with more information than I could possibly have use for while on the hunt for the 'perfect' engagement ring.

I was previously looking for a new 0.85-0.9ct diamond solitaire ring for about £3000 ($4500). However, after hinting to my parents of my hunt, they informed me of an heirloom in their possession that I could be given.

STORY BEHIND THE RING: My great & great great grandfathers were jewelers in Manchester, UK. We believe that my great grandfather gave this ring to either my great grandmother or his daughter (my great aunt). I can get more details, but this means alerting my grandparents, so I'm holding off until I'm sure that the ring is 'the one'.

Specs (according to the last appraisal 20 years ago):
It's an "old brilliant cut diamond" estimated at 0.2ct (it's very bright, but that's all I know)
"Bead claw set in a white box mount"
"Plain white cross-over shank, stamped 18ct. Plat, tested as 18ct. white gold and platinum"
Valued at £445 20 years ago.

Pictures:





3 questions I'd appreciate your thoughts on :

1. What are your thoughts to this being given as a modern day engagement ring? The diamond is quite small by any modern standards. We mix in typical UK middle class circles, so this is likely to be the smallest diamond amongst the gf's peers. She is not particularly flash, but like most people, appreciates the finer things in life.

2. The last thing I want is for my gf to have to make the 'it's an heirloom' excuse anytime anybody sees it. I also don't want her to think that I've selected the ring because I'm a cheapskate. I'm happy to spend the £3000, although clearly, in our mid 20's, I'd like to keep spending to a minimum. Do you think there's a high risk of this situation with this ring?

3. Could the shape represent an issue when (or if!) a wedding ring is on the same finger?

Finally, if you could tell me anything more about the date/style of ring then I'd very much appreciate it.

Thank you very much for your time!

 

[tyty333]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

I think it's a lovely ring and quite possibly sentimental. On the other hand, it is quite small compared to what you have
been looking at.

If it were for me, I would prefer my own ring with a larger stone. I would also like this ring as a RHR. Yes, I'm greedy !

edit - forgot to say that the shape might be an issue as far as a wedding band. If you want the wedding band to fit it exactly you
may have to have it made. If she doesnt care if the band fits it exactly, then it's not a problem.

 

[telephone89]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

I absolutely love the idea of heriloom e-rings - how does your gf feel? Do you think she will feel uncomfortable having the smallest ring in her crowd? Is she okay with something 'pre loved'? Will telling people 'its an antique/heirloom' make her uncomfortable? She may have to answer that alot because of the different look, but that's not a bad thing (to me!).
There is no right or wrong answer, only what you think she will love the most.

In this case, I would probably go with your original plan of the new ring. I think it's a beautiful ring, but the questions you ask lead me to believe YOU are uncomfortable giving this as an ering. It definitely will pose an 'issue' with wedding bands, as they will fit a bit wonky. You can certainly have one custom made, or enjoy the gap/difference.

 

[junebug17]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

I think in this particular case, I would purchase a new ring for your gf, as long as you can comfortably afford it. I am not against heirloom rings for erings at all, I think it can be a lovely sentiment - but you sound like you have reservations, and since you're just not sure if your gf would be happy with this ring I don't think you should take the chance. And if I'm being honest, I think I would prefer something a bit larger for an ering. This particular ring strikes me as more of a right hand ring. It's a pretty ring!

 

[CheapAsChips]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

Thanks for all of the kind replies guys!

I'm really glad I asked as I was expecting slightly different responses.

My gf wouldn't feel too uncomfortable with the smallest diamond. Our friends aren't overly 'materialistic' so it wouldn't be as much of an issue as it would be in some circles. She's also a keen bargain hunter. However, I really don't want to let the side down and most importantly don't want her to feel like she has to make excuses for me.

I'm sure she would really like the idea of an heirloom ring in general, but you're right to point out that an ering is different. I would certainly like to give this to her as a right hand ring at some stage if I went 'new' for the ering. This is actually kind of similar to (but much nicer than) her existing RHR.

This, coupled with the problem of matching a wedding band to it... hmmmm

 

[Travelgal]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

My significant other was in a similar situation. He has his grandmothers ring, similar sized diamond, and promised his grandmother that he would propose with it. He knows my love of jewelry and that most of our friends have 1.5+ carat stones (all over 30), so this would be significantly smaller than our friends. In some ways I wish he proposed with it for the sentimental value, but I think it would have been hard for me to not have a bigger ring. Alternatively, I have my great grandmothers diamond that is about a 1/2 carat and I woild have gladly accepted it as an engagement ring. It's been in our family for 95 years and has huge sentimental value to me. I know this sounds horrible, but 1/2 carat was really the mark for me. We are in our 30s, I work with a lot of executives and I would have felt "immature" if given a .2 stone. I know all of this makes me sound really shallow and there are some amazing rings that I have seen with smaller stones that I absolutely love. In this case, I don't think it was a "match" for me. That said, I would love to one day wear it as a right hand ring or to give it to a daughter if we have kids. Just giving you might point of view in case it's helpful.

Btw- I think your heirloom ring is really pretty.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

I think this will be a special and wonderful right hand ring for her to wear and pass down to your children. But I would get her the e-ring you were originally intending to get. I love it for a right hand ring but would not want that style (or diamond size) for my engagement ring. For one thing, it just won't work well with a band and that is a reason why I like it better for a right hand ring.

 

[CheapAsChips]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

Wow, well I couldn't have hoped for anything more conclusive. Many thanks for all of your input!

 

[elizabethtwrs]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

If I were her, I would prefer a larger ering too. I mean, an ering is for life, you would want her to look at it each time fondly rather than to feel she has to defend your choice every time. She might not mind it at first, but I think she might be quite self aware of it after some time. After you get your ring, you tend to notice everyone else's.

Perhaps you could retain the sentimentality by finding a matching 0.2ct diamond, and making them into stud earrings? For a 1st anni present maybe?

 

[Rhea]

Re: Opinion Of This Heirloom Engagement Ring w/ Small Diamon

I like the heirloom ring! But most of us on PS are bigger is better types and that combined with the forum being mostly Americans, the land of go big or go home, we're mostly going to go for larger here.

For what it's worth, I live in London and your ring wouldn't be out of place in my social circle. Most of the women I socialise with don't wear their engagement rings post marriage and children unless they're going out. I hated being engaged in the US (I'm American by birth, British by choice) where I felt as though everyone judged me and my ring and love being in London. One of my DH's friend's wives offers the "it's an heirloom" excuse when she leaves the house wearing her large family ring. It cracks me up.

Do what feels right. Or ask your partner what she thinks. You have a great budget for a new ring but I think you may end up shy of the 0.85 mark unless you've found a super deal. Brits don't seem to tend up upgrade the same way PSers do so there's quite a bit to consider. Will your parents let you keep the ring if you don't use it as an engagement ring or will it go on to the next heir?