OK out with it MonkeyPie!

[Lauren8211]

Date: 4/7/2009 12:57:57 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 4/7/2009 12:49:04 PM

Author: geckodani

Date: 4/7/2009 12:44:10 PM

Author: Dee*Jay

What is this *pink rabbit* and where do I get one?!?


Tried google, but no success...


As for my opinion (as if anyone cares!) I say go for it! What ever makes everybody happy is fine with me. I''ll even hold the camera.


I do understand the emotional issues, but honestly who''s to say that your SO won''t go to the grocery store and fall in love with somebody in the frozen food aisle when they touch hands both reaching for the same pizza? Seriously, there are all sorts of things that can threaten a relationship and if the parties are going into something like this having thought it through and talked it through, who are we to judge?


Being freshly divorced (as of about 2 months ago) I have a whole new perspective on these things and I say if consenting adults all agree to what''s going on and nobody''s getting left with any permanant marks that show outside of normal clothes, why not?

LMAO!!!


Um, and as for the pink rabbit... I''d link... but then I''d probably get banned.

Try googling Ice Ice Baby... got that one from a party...

OK, I''m hopeless... I think I just ordered a pink wine opener corkscrew thing and a CD by a rap artist off the internet.

There is an adult bookstore a few blocks from my house... maybe I''ll make a field trip this afternoon!



As for the whole thing about women releasing bonding hormones aftewards, hm. That''s interesting. Don''t tell my two current purely booty booty calls that! As especially please don''t mention that in front of the guy I am actually dating!

LOL! Pearl Rabbit... google Pearl Rabbit.

 

[Bia]

Date: 4/7/2009 12:59:25 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/7/2009 12:55:54 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 4/7/2009 12:51:46 PM

Author: elledizzy5

Google ''Pearl Rabbit''

Ah Ha! ....

Bia, seriously. Your emoties are cracking me up today.

You know me, I go overboard sometimes with the emoties

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:01:04 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 4/7/2009 12:59:25 PM

Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/7/2009 12:55:54 PM

Author: Bia

Date: 4/7/2009 12:51:46 PM


Author: elledizzy5


Google ''Pearl Rabbit''

Ah Ha! ....

Bia, seriously. Your emoties are cracking me up today.

You know me, I go overboard sometimes with the emoties

Not overboard! I love it!

I''ve never had someone tip their hat to me for recommending a naughty toy! This is a first!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Pearl rabbit - LOVE IT!

I am SO going on a field trip this afternoon!!!

 

[elrohwen]

Elle and MP, this thread is so interesting! Thank you ladies for sharing this with all of us.

Elle, random question for you: Was it you that was commenting on lack of sex drive on a thread about BCP? I may be mixing you up with another poster. If that was you, do these activities with other couples help? Did you guys start this before or after the lack of sex drive? I''m just curious because I know so many of us have similar problems and I''m really curious if this has provided a solution for you.

Or maybe I''m thinking of another poster and I''m not making any sense

And a question for both of you: What started you down this path? Did your SO suggest it? Did you? Did it just come up one day? And how did you decide what the rules would be? It''s sounds like you both have a different set of rules in your relationship and I want to know how you decided what was right for the two of you.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:06:46 PM
Author: elrohwen
Elle and MP, this thread is so interesting! Thank you ladies for sharing this with all of us.


Elle, random question for you: Was it you that was commenting on lack of sex drive on a thread about BCP? I may be mixing you up with another poster. If that was you, do these activities with other couples help? Did you guys start this before or after the lack of sex drive? I''m just curious because I know so many of us have similar problems and I''m really curious if this has provided a solution for you.


Or maybe I''m thinking of another poster and I''m not making any sense

And a question for both of you: What started you down this path? Did your SO suggest it? Did you? Did it just come up one day? And how did you decide what the rules would be? It''s sounds like you both have a different set of rules in your relationship and I want to know how you decided what was right for the two of you.

That was me! The majority of this "activity" was before the BC took its effect. I''ve been off the pill since November, and doing much, much better in that respect, and as of very recently, its just been the two of us. No "Friends"

We both had kind of discussed our fantasies, and I''ve always had a 3some fantasy, and we both decided we''d be open to doing that.

We were also hanging out with friends of his, and started to get they feeling they (the married couple) were hitting on us! We ended up talking about if anything could possibly happen with the two of them, and decided we''d be up for it.

Then, one night at a party, it became obvious they were interested in us, and things came to fruition.

The only rule that we have is that everyone is to be discussed, and there is not to be ANY pressure. We don''t go into anything without talking about it. Everything is fair game as long as we talk about it. NO guilt, no pressure, no being afraid to say no. End of story.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:06:46 PM
Author: elrohwen
Elle and MP, this thread is so interesting! Thank you ladies for sharing this with all of us.

And a question for both of you: What started you down this path? Did your SO suggest it? Did you? Did it just come up one day? And how did you decide what the rules would be? It''s sounds like you both have a different set of rules in your relationship and I want to know how you decided what was right for the two of you.

I remember this pretty clearly - we were in the very beginning dating stages of our relationship, and I teased my husband that I thought Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba were shag-worthy even for myself. He said that I had a free pass for either one of them if I ever met them, as long as the free pass extended to him watching. To which I readily agreed...and the conversation stemmed from there.

At first, I was very resistant. We were only a few months into our relationship, and even though we had already discussed marriage and spending our lives together, it can be a delicate subject. But as time passed, and I trusted him more and more, it almost seemed like the next step. He loved me, he didn''t want anyone else but me, but we did want to have fun. And now it makes sense to me, even if it didn''t in the past.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:11:55 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 4/7/2009 1:06:46 PM

Author: elrohwen

Elle and MP, this thread is so interesting! Thank you ladies for sharing this with all of us.


And a question for both of you: What started you down this path? Did your SO suggest it? Did you? Did it just come up one day? And how did you decide what the rules would be? It''s sounds like you both have a different set of rules in your relationship and I want to know how you decided what was right for the two of you.

I remember this pretty clearly - we were in the very beginning dating stages of our relationship, and I teased my husband that I thought Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba were shag-worthy even for myself. He said that I had a free pass for either one of them if I ever met them, as long as the free pass extended to him watching. To which I readily agreed...and the conversation stemmed from there.


At first, I was very resistant. We were only a few months into our relationship, and even though we had already discussed marriage and spending our lives together, it can be a delicate subject. But as time passed, and I trusted him more and more, it almost seemed like the next step. He loved me, he didn''t want anyone else but me, but we did want to have fun. And now it makes sense to me, even if it didn''t in the past.

Dude! I have a serious Jessica Alba crush, too!

 

[Bia]

I must have an open relationship because I have a free pass for David Beckham!

 

[elrohwen]

Thank you both for answering my questions

Carry on with your pink/pearl rabbit discussions

 

[MonkeyPie]

She''s SMOKIN''! Something about her hipbones...

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:16:38 PM
Author: Bia
I must have an open relationship because I have a free pass for David Beckham!

LOL! I thing stuff like this is so funny - I have Vin Diesel and Hugh Laurie on my free pass list, too.

ETA: Omg, I just left the "p" off of pass up there, and sounded SO funny!

 

[Ali]

Warning:

This thread is very close to being shut down. Post with discretion.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 4/7/2009 12:51:46 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Google ''Pearl Rabbit''

I just want to know if you can bring the rabbit in your carry-on luggage on a flight. I know you can''t bring batteries that are not sealed, but let''s say I don''t want to check my bag...is this thing going to set off alarms? Totally random question, i know, but I''ve tried googling and get no good results.

 

[meresal]

Elle: I know someone posted about What if the "other girl" got pregnant... but what if "you" got pregnant? Have you all discussed what steps would be taken? I would imagine once you all decide you want to TTC, if you ever do, you would probably stop these "parties", but what if it happened accidently?

I'm just being inquisitive, I'm not judging your decisions, I swear. For me persoanlly, It would break my heart to even think about FI being with another woman. I can't separate those kind of emotions like others are capable of doing.

ETA: Also, thanks for sharing... I'll go back into the mist now and continue reading

 

[bee*]

Wow you miss one day on PS and there''s all these threads! Personally I wouldn''t be into having an open relationship with D but I think that if both people in the relationship are happy with it, then each to their own. Thanks for sharing your stories MP and Elle!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:34:09 PM
Author: meresal
Elle: I know someone posted about What if the ''other girl'' got pregnant... but what if ''you'' got pregnant? Have you all discussed what steps would be taken? I would imagine once you all decide you want to try, if you ever do, you would probably stop these ''parties'', but what if it happened accidently?

I''m just being inquisitive, I''m not judging your decision, I swear.

That''s the kind of stuff that concerns me too. Especially in a marriage - we''re not just talking fun and games here. It''s stuff that can be gutting to the relationship. Or what if the woman gets pregnant, but decides she wants to have it (despite any agreements that may have occured beforehand). Now your husband is the father of another woman''s child and forever tied to her. What was an intimate relationship between the two of you now is crowded in a way that you didn''t plan.

Like Meresal, I''m not judging, but pondering the possilbilities. I think we as humans all have a little of that "it won''t happen to me" mentality, especially when younger.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:34:09 PM
Author: meresal
Elle: I know someone posted about What if the ''other girl'' got pregnant... but what if ''you'' got pregnant? Have you all discussed what steps would be taken? I would imagine once you all decide you want to try, if you ever do, you would probably stop these ''parties'', but what if it happened accidently?


I''m just being inquisitive, I''m not judging your decision, I swear.

I hear you. We''re safe. Completely. We actually haven''t had any full on ''activity'' while I was not on the pill, and we also used condoms.

SO, we''re safe two times over, the likelihood of pregnancy is pretty slim.

Honestly, we haven''t discussed it. I guess we just think its such a small likelihood. Basically, you''re asking what would happen if I got pregnant by a man who wasn''t my FF during consensual swapping. I''m not sure how we''d handle that. The majority of our activity is not full on swapping, it''s mostly voyeuristic and non-intercourse things.

I hope this isn''t too inappropriate.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:40:17 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/7/2009 1:34:09 PM
Author: meresal
Elle: I know someone posted about What if the ''other girl'' got pregnant... but what if ''you'' got pregnant? Have you all discussed what steps would be taken? I would imagine once you all decide you want to try, if you ever do, you would probably stop these ''parties'', but what if it happened accidently?


I''m just being inquisitive, I''m not judging your decision, I swear.

I hear you. We''re safe. Completely. We actually haven''t had any full on ''activity'' while I was not on the pill, and we also used condoms.

SO, we''re safe two times over, the likelihood of pregnancy is pretty slim.

Honestly, we haven''t discussed it. I guess we just think its such a small likelihood. Basically, you''re asking what would happen if I got pregnant by a man who wasn''t my FF during consensual swapping. I''m not sure how we''d handle that. The majority of our activity is not full on swapping, it''s mostly voyeuristic and non-intercourse things.

I hope this isn''t too inappropriate.

Elledizzy, condoms do NOT protect you from HPV or Herpes. That is transmitted through skin to skin contact. Neither are curable.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:43:01 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/7/2009 1:40:17 PM

Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/7/2009 1:34:09 PM

Author: meresal

Elle: I know someone posted about What if the ''other girl'' got pregnant... but what if ''you'' got pregnant? Have you all discussed what steps would be taken? I would imagine once you all decide you want to try, if you ever do, you would probably stop these ''parties'', but what if it happened accidently?



I''m just being inquisitive, I''m not judging your decision, I swear.

I hear you. We''re safe. Completely. We actually haven''t had any full on ''activity'' while I was not on the pill, and we also used condoms.


SO, we''re safe two times over, the likelihood of pregnancy is pretty slim.


Honestly, we haven''t discussed it. I guess we just think its such a small likelihood. Basically, you''re asking what would happen if I got pregnant by a man who wasn''t my FF during consensual swapping. I''m not sure how we''d handle that. The majority of our activity is not full on swapping, it''s mostly voyeuristic and non-intercourse things.


I hope this isn''t too inappropriate.

Elledizzy, condoms do NOT protect you from HPV or Herpes. That is transmitted through skin to skin contact. Neither are curable.

Very true. We are all 4 tested (Remember, we''ve only done this with one other couple) and we are only WITH each other.

So, the 4 of us are clean and protected, and we don''t "Cheat" on one another.

We made it clear with them that if there were to be other couples beyond each other, we''d tell one another.

Me and my FF do not go out and pick up strange couples and bring them home, just in case people think that is what we do. Its one couple, and we talk about rules with them too.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I don''t get why people seem to think we are not taking any precautions whatsoever - you could get herpes or HPV in ways other than sex, you know. And it isn''t like Elle and I are running amok. I haven''t done anything yet, and Elle is very safe with one couple.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:50:15 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I don''t get why people seem to think we are not taking any precautions whatsoever - you could get herpes or HPV in ways other than sex, you know. And it isn''t like Elle and I are running amok. I haven''t done anything yet, and Elle is very safe with one couple.

Thanks MP.

I guess I don''t see the difference between this and dating and having protected sex.

We do what we can. Is there still a risk to sex? Yes. But I''ve done everything I can to minimize it. Condoms and the pill are about as good as I can get.

 

[meresal]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:40:17 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/7/2009 1:34:09 PM
Author: meresal
Elle: I know someone posted about What if the 'other girl' got pregnant... but what if 'you' got pregnant? Have you all discussed what steps would be taken? I would imagine once you all decide you want to try, if you ever do, you would probably stop these 'parties', but what if it happened accidently?


I'm just being inquisitive, I'm not judging your decision, I swear.

I hear you. We're safe. Completely. We actually haven't had any full on 'activity' while I was not on the pill, and we also used condoms.

SO, we're safe two times over, the likelihood of pregnancy is pretty slim.

Honestly, we haven't discussed it. I guess we just think its such a small likelihood. Basically, you're asking what would happen if I got pregnant by a man who wasn't my FF during consensual swapping. I'm not sure how we'd handle that. The majority of our activity is not full on swapping, it's mostly voyeuristic and non-intercourse things.

I hope this isn't too inappropriate.

Thanks for answering my question Elle. A relationship can withstand an STD, though I do understand some are not curable... but the thought of an accidental pregnancy, and not being able to immediately say, "Yes, I know who the father is", I imagine, could be very very hard on a relationship.

Again, thank you for sharing and being so open.

ETA: It's not that I think you are being "messy" with your decisions, at all... please don't think of it like that. I purposely didn't address the STD things, because like you said, it is something that can be onbatined by sleeping with a guy you're dating. It's great that you all have sat down and discussed all the testing and monogamy of your group. I was just thinking about the unexpecteds that could arise within your group.

And Monkeypie... I'm sorry that I am not directing these question towards you as well, but the thing is, I have to somewhat agree with TG in an earlier post. You can say you won't care until your blue in the face, but when it actaully happens for the first time will be the test. The difference between you and Elle, is that in her agreement, neither her nor her SO had to be the First one to take the plunge... and in your situation... one of you will "strike" before the other. It just seems harder to me. Ya know?

 

[VegasAngel]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:43:01 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 4/7/2009 1:40:17 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/7/2009 1:34:09 PM
Author: meresal
Elle: I know someone posted about What if the ''other girl'' got pregnant... but what if ''you'' got pregnant? Have you all discussed what steps would be taken? I would imagine once you all decide you want to try, if you ever do, you would probably stop these ''parties'', but what if it happened accidently?


I''m just being inquisitive, I''m not judging your decision, I swear.

I hear you. We''re safe. Completely. We actually haven''t had any full on ''activity'' while I was not on the pill, and we also used condoms.

SO, we''re safe two times over, the likelihood of pregnancy is pretty slim.

Honestly, we haven''t discussed it. I guess we just think its such a small likelihood. Basically, you''re asking what would happen if I got pregnant by a man who wasn''t my FF during consensual swapping. I''m not sure how we''d handle that. The majority of our activity is not full on swapping, it''s mostly voyeuristic and non-intercourse things.

I hope this isn''t too inappropriate.

Elledizzy, condoms do NOT protect you from HPV or Herpes. That is transmitted through skin to skin contact. Neither are curable.

Thanks for adding that Tgal. HSV is a tricky one since you can have both hsv-1 & hsv-2 gentially. Too scary for me.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:50:15 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I don''t get why people seem to think we are not taking any precautions whatsoever - you could get herpes or HPV in ways other than sex, you know. And it isn''t like Elle and I are running amok. I haven''t done anything yet, and Elle is very safe with one couple.

MP, I''m making the point that you can say you''re safe "completely" but in reality you are not. You (MP) are as safe as the rest of us since you are only with your husband (and let''s face it...spouses can cheat and bring icky stuff home). But your odds grow when you bring other people in the mix.

Elledizzy, unless you specifically requested it, testing for HPV is not routine in testing for STDs. In men, it''s hard to test for. And the stats are that anywhere from 30 to 80 percent of people carry it.

 

[Kelli]

Date: 4/7/2009 12:05:44 PM
Author: Starset Princess
What if you sustain this lifestyle for say, five years, and then maybe something in your life changes like children, or a more stressful job, or you don''t like your appearance anymore because you fell out of good shape, or some ill to a family member - you catch my drift... And one of you decides to put it on the backburner but you don''t find your way back into it and your partner didn''t want to stop the lifestyle?

I guess what I''m saying is that it works now, but what happens when one of you calls it quits - it was fun while it lasted - but the other wants to continue?

Unfortunately, this happens in monogamous marriages too, when one partner wants to call it quits and the other doesn''t. I don''t think it''s only a hazard of open relationships, so it wouldn''t be an issue for me, if I were to be in one.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:51:55 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/7/2009 1:50:15 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I don''t get why people seem to think we are not taking any precautions whatsoever - you could get herpes or HPV in ways other than sex, you know. And it isn''t like Elle and I are running amok. I haven''t done anything yet, and Elle is very safe with one couple.

Thanks MP.

I guess I don''t see the difference between this and dating and having protected sex.

We do what we can. Is there still a risk to sex? Yes. But I''ve done everything I can to minimize it. Condoms and the pill are about as good as I can get.

That''s my thought too. Seriously, if you''re taking the precautions you describe you''re doing better than a lot of other people out there who are just randomly sleeping around.


Hey, wait a minute, I resemble that remark!


(OK -- wait! Before anyone have a cow AT ME, ***YES INDEEDY*** I am taking ALL SORTS of precautions too!!! That was supposed to be *funny*!!!)

 

[Lauren8211]

I have been tested for HPV, as I was tested before an IUD insertion ( Did not end up getting the IUD)

I''m as safe as anyone else who takes precautions when they have sex, relationship or not.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/7/2009 1:56:51 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 4/7/2009 1:51:55 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/7/2009 1:50:15 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
I don''t get why people seem to think we are not taking any precautions whatsoever - you could get herpes or HPV in ways other than sex, you know. And it isn''t like Elle and I are running amok. I haven''t done anything yet, and Elle is very safe with one couple.

Thanks MP.

I guess I don''t see the difference between this and dating and having protected sex.

We do what we can. Is there still a risk to sex? Yes. But I''ve done everything I can to minimize it. Condoms and the pill are about as good as I can get.

That''s my thought too. Seriously, if you''re taking the precautions you describe you''re doing better than a lot of other people out there who are just randomly sleeping around.


Hey, wait a minute, I resemble that remark!


(OK -- wait! Before anyone have a cow AT ME, ***YES INDEEDY*** I am taking ALL SORTS of precautions too!!! That was supposed to be *funny*!!!)

Uh, there is one MAJOR difference in an open marriage...

You date, you have sex, you get infected, yeah it sucks but you are only hurting yourself.

You are married, you have sex with someone else, you get infected, you potentially can infect your HUSBAND or WIFE.

Now, that is not to say this doesn''t happen with couples who are in "closed" marriages from cheating. And one could argue at least in an open marriage, the couple is far more aware. But saying that what you do sexually outside marriage when you are in marriage vs when you are dating is no different doesn''t quite work for me. As with the possible pregnancy thing, you are dealing with a lot more when there are more than 2 people involved.

However, I do applaud both women for TALKING about this stuff with their partners. Many people just bury their heads in the sand.

 

[Kelli]

You can pick and pick and pick at this detail or that one, but it really sounds like MonkeyPie AND elledizzy are both in pretty safe and sound relationships as far as STDs go. I really think that complete abstinence is the only 100% way of avoiding ANY complications that come with having sex, and really.... Who wants to do that? It sounds like they''re being a heck of a lot safer and smarter than most people out there, so I don''t see the point in continuing to tell them what they could and could not catch. I think they''re well aware.