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Newbie needs opinions on engagement ring styles

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Hey everyone! Thanks for all the help and the responses!

Allright....I found out a lot more information from Lisa''s (my gal) sister last night.

When Lisa was engaged before, her engagement ring was a round solitaire from Tiffany''s. She was very proud of the fact it was from Tiffany''s, and told everyone that her ring was from there. Her family is really into Tiffany''s and her mom has quite a bit of jewelry from there. She doesn''t want me to get her ring there (thank goodness!) but according to her sister, still wants a designer setting.

Ebree was correct....according to Lisa''s sister, she definitely doesn''t want a round and wants me to stay away from round-ish shapes if possible. She wants something completely different is how she put it.

Lisa went to Bailey, Banks and Biddle last night with her sister and one of their friends, who is also looking at engagement rings. Lisa tried on the Ritani with the halo and according to her sister really liked it. However, the ring in the store had a 1 ct round center, so it would look considerably different with a 1/2 ct asscher. I''m afraid even though she''s not really into size, the 1/2 ct asscher would face up so small that the whole ring would not look like it was anywhere near what it costs. But I''m not discouraged because....

...Lisa tried on a Tacori setting that she absolutely went nuts over! I had seen the setting at the local jeweler I am going to use but I didn''t even ask to look at it since it had gemstones in it. Lisa''s sister said her face just lit up when she tried on the ring. The saleswoman said that the setting could be ordered with all diamonds but that she thought it looked prettier with the sapphires. To my surprise, Lisa said she loved the sapphires in it. Lisa then took the ring off and said there was no way I could afford a Tacori setting (I think she thinks my budget is like $2,000) and she would be thrilled with whatever I got her.

After Lisa went to bed, her sister called me with all the details. We both sat on the internet and found the ring. I love it myself! She could wear it by itself if she wanted to and I don''t think she would have any trouble finding a band to go with it...I believe Tacori makes a band that would go with it even if it is not a complete match. The ring at the store had a 1 ct princess shape in the center...I don''t think I could get a 1 ct without going way over my budget, but I probably could get a decent princess shape for around $3,000 and go over my budget by a few hundred dollars, something I don''t mind doing if she is crazy about this particular ring. I think I will go to my local jeweler today and see what he has or what he can get me in the way of princess cut stones in my price range. I would like to see the setting up close but I think we may have a winner here.
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I noticed that several people have had problems with Tacori, so I will have to talk to the jeweler about that too.

While I still like the Ritani, I think this will look like more for my money. Thoughts, opinions????? Again, thanks for the help!

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Aw! You seem like the nicest guy.....i love the halo ring...i used to really want one...i think they do make the center diamond look a lot bigger and gives so much sparkle...sounds like she will be thrilled no matter what....seems like you have put so much effort, you can''t choose wrongly
 
sorry- i posted that last one prematurely...That si great that her sis told you all about that! the ring is so pretty....you are so clever! Great luck and I know she is gonna love love it
 
She loves the ring - it''s a beautiful ring - I think you should go with it!
 
I thought about getting the center diamond from an online vendor, but I want to give my local guy a chance first. I''m not going to order the setting today (I want to make sure she doesn''t all of a sudden hate it tonight!) but I don''t want to wait too long either as I would like to propose the beginning of March (see Proposal IDeas for my wacky idea!) I will consider online if the local guy can''t get me what I am looking for. I didn''t do any researching on princess shapes so I think that will be my next step. That one from James Allen looks sweet though.....
 
If she loves the setting then you should go for it..I think it''s very nice and love the blue sapphires..definitely nothing like her first engagment ring
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Oh great....now I see someone else with Tacori issues (Marisaleigh's thread)!

I called my local jeweler and he admitted he has had some issues with Tacori's quality and has heard other jewelers complain about it too. He said it seems like Tacori had a pretty tough year last year because before then he had no problems with them. The jeweler said he still likes them but I am now very worried.

What I decided to do was call her sister and she if she could drag my lady out again to look at rings. My local guy carries Simon G so the sister is going to take her there and steer her toward those rings but I didn't see any on the web site I was crazy about.

I did a little more researching on the Ritani ring...seems like there are some issues on this forum about every day wear and tear on those types of rings. My local guy said something similar to what mrssalvo said (by the way...I have a yellow lab just like yours! His name is Doc) that he has never had any problems with Ritani and to stick with a designer for those kind of delicate settings. My lady Lisa wore her old engagement ring all the time according to her sister but did take it off to do things like sports or going to the gym.

Anyway....I found another Ritani setting I really like...this one has a .50ct princess center. I can't seem to save it to my computer so here is the link:

http://store.jrdunn.com/product_p/rt001pc1617drpjrd.hrm

Here's a Ritani just like the first one I posted with the asscher center, except this one has the princess center..I think I like this one more than the asscher...

http://store.jrdunn.com/product_p/rt001pc1869erpjrd.htm

Just when I thought I had it all figured out! Any additional thoughts! Please?
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Edited to try to fix the links but they are still not working. The first one is a princess in a halo with a split shank.
 
I love the look of Tacori rings but after reading what some of the posters here have said would never purchase one. If your jeweler has heard of the problems too, i''d suggest trying to find something else she likes as much if not more. i agree if going with a pave setting i''d go with a designer who''s used to making it and who is known to not have quality control issues. your links didn''t work for me
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. I think it''s a good idea for her to take another trip to the jewelers.
 
Would you think that a larger diamond might just be the perfect surprise?

Simple settings never hurt - it is hard to go wrong with a simple classic thing. If she would be choosing the setting - that is another matter. But at this point, the message changes every time she goes shopping (a few posts ago you said ''no gemstones'' - then sapphires were cool etc...).

If sapphires are great, the wedding band could be one set with sapphires. And that will be sorted out later anyway.

No go?



And 3-4k should allow for 1ct square - either radiant or princess or... whatever turn out larger and more brilliant at the local shop. Squares are relatively small for the weight, so they better be bright.
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You know Valeria, you may be on to something...

One of my coworkers suggested the same thing...propose with a stone in a temporary setting then go and pick out the setting together. Maybe that is the best bet, because like you said, she does tend to change her mind alot.
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She is at the local jeweler with her sister as I type so I will get the low-down this weekend when I can talk to the sister. Too funny....Lisa called me and asked if I wanted to go and I said no, that I hate shopping. I feel kind of bad being a jerk about it!

I''ll let you all know what I find out!
 
Sorry, guy here and with all the effort you''ve put into this, it would be disappointing to see you get a temporary setting. You''re working so hard to find a designer style for the lady you hope to spend the rest of your life with. Any of the styles (BTW, I really like that 2nd Ritani you found) you''ve shown are beautiful. Hopefully, the local jeweler you''re working with can put it together with a quality princess cut stone with a good cut in your budget. I hope you take the plunge and the get whole package. I''ll bet your fiance will love the fact that you worried enough to ensure she was getting something with a name, something in the shape she wants, something that she saw and loved, and something that you put a tremendous amount of effort and obvious love into.

Good luck with whatever you do.......
 
Jim, you must be very sweet to be so concerned about pleasing your fiancee....I don''t think many guys put this much thought into the search
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Anyway....when my sister got married 10 yrs. ago, she also insisted on platinum. Her fiance (now husband) was also within a budget, so because of the setting, he could only afford a .44 center stone. She was disappointed & told me that had she known this, she would definately have chosen white gold. She got a 1.05 rb as an upgrade for her 10th anniversary this past Nov. I''m wondering if your fiancee should be told that getting a designer/platinum setting will limit the center stone size to under a carat....she may change her mind. After all gold is not too far from platinum on the periodic table....ha, ha.
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I like your idea of picking a kicka$$ stone, like a 1ct princess or cushion, in a plain, temporary setting and proposing with that, with the intention of her choosing the permanent setting. It must be hard trying to pick the perfect ring with second hand information, even though her sister is a godsend for helping out so much! THat way she''ll get what she really loves, but you can still surprise her with the stone you know she''ll like. Good luck and keep us posted!
 
Hi everyone! I''m back with some great news...but first, I will tell how I got to that point.
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On Friday afternoon, my lady Lisa and her sister went to the local jewelry store. They looked at all the settings again, and she still really liked the Tacori one with the sapphires that I posted earlier. However, the jeweler mentioned how Tacori has had some quality control issues lately. He personally has had only one problem and it was taken care of right away, but he wanted her to be aware of it. Then according to her sister, they started talking about designer vs non-designer settings. The jeweler was able to convince her that she doesn''t have to have a designer name to have a good quality setting.

So they started looking at the many "non-designer" settings in the display cases. According to her sis, she must have tried every one on. Lisa does not know what my budget is, but she knows it isn''t huge. The jeweler, her sis and her mom all also said that getting a non-designer setting will also allow her to have a bigger center. She always said she didn''t care about size, but when she tried on some rings with 1/2ct center, she realized she cared more about size than she thought.
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One thing she doesn''t want to compromise on is platinum...she really wants a platinum setting because as she puts it, she doesn''t ever want to change her engagment ring.

So she came to my house Friday night just bursting but didn''t say anything at first because she thinks I am not into ring shopping. Then I asked what she was so giddy about and she told me about the rings she tried on. I asked her if she wanted me to go back to the jeweler with her and she was doing handsprings across the room (OK, not literally, but it was really cute how she was acting!)

So we went to the jeweler yesterday afternoon. On the way I asked if she rather I propose with just a stone and she pick out a setting....to my surprise, she said she wants me to have the final say because there are just too many settings out there for her to settle on just one, and besides, she also wants me to be proud of it...so...

We got to the jeweler and she narrowed it down to 4 non-designer settings that she really liked and said she would be thrilled with any of them. It seemed she liked one in particular a little more than the others, and fortunately, it was also the one I liked the best. After we left she said that she knows I don''t have a lot of money and that she would get white gold in order to keep the cost down for me. I told her to let me worry about the cost but not to expect anything anytime soon.
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I went back to the jeweler last night while she was at the gym and ordered the setting! Even better, the jeweler had a gorgeous .90 ct princess shape center that he had recently brought in for someone else, but they wound up going with a bigger diamond. I don''t remember all the stats on the center, but I remember it is a .90 ct H, VS2 and the setting has 6 princess side stones in it. I found a picture on the Solomon Brothers web site, but the setting I ordered is a little less carat weight. It looked awesome by itself and I think it would be very easy to get a matching band. I''m slightly over my budget, but I think she will be thrilled with the ring. I e-mailed a pic to her sis and she too thinks she will love it.

I should have the ring in a few weeks, just in time for my March proposal. I just have to tell myself not to jump the gun and just give it to her ahead of my big plan!

Oh, and for those that said I sound like a nice guy...shucks, I''m blushing.
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I just want to do this right the first and only time around.
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Thanks again for all the support and I will get some pics once I get the ring.

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That's great Big Jim, so happy for you. It's a beautiful ring!!!
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BigJim, you really are a great guy to be putting so much thought into Lisa''s ring, it''s very endearing. I am so glad to hear that you have finally worked this out and found a setting that Lisa loves and, hopefully, a gorgeous diamond. I think you are wise to avoid Tacori, they have too many issues that could mar the happiest time of your life. The ring you have ordered is going to be fab! I have read your wonderful proposal idea and it''s going to be fantastic, you can''t give in and give the ring to her early, we''re all waiting in anticipation for the event in March - it''s going to be a cracking way to propose. Hang in there, be patient and make it the biggest surprise of her life. WE CAN''T WAIT!!!
 
Very very nice Jim!! Glad everything worked out for you, sounds like you were driving yourself nuts thinking about all the ''what if''s'' sounds like everything worked out perfectly!
 
That''s a really nice story and your girlfriend, soon to be fiance and partner in life is very lucky indeed to have someone who is so interested in ensuring she has a ring that will provide a lifetime of happiness.

Good for you! Best wishes........
 
I''m so happy for you all. Please come back and post pictures once you get the ring. We''d love to see it..
 
Date: 1/13/2006 10:27:41 AM
Author: bigjim
...Lisa tried on a Tacori setting that she absolutely went nuts over! I had seen the setting at the local jeweler I am going to use but I didn''t even ask to look at it since it had gemstones in it. Lisa''s sister said her face just lit up when she tried on the ring. The saleswoman said that the setting could be ordered with all diamonds but that she thought it looked prettier with the sapphires. To my surprise, Lisa said she loved the sapphires in it. Lisa then took the ring off and said there was no way I could afford a Tacori setting (I think she thinks my budget is like $2,000) and she would be thrilled with whatever I got her.


After Lisa went to bed, her sister called me with all the details. We both sat on the internet and found the ring. I love it myself! She could wear it by itself if she wanted to and I don''t think she would have any trouble finding a band to go with it...I believe Tacori makes a band that would go with it even if it is not a complete match. The ring at the store had a 1 ct princess shape in the center...I don''t think I could get a 1 ct without going way over my budget, but I probably could get a decent princess shape for around $3,000 and go over my budget by a few hundred dollars, something I don''t mind doing if she is crazy about this particular ring. I think I will go to my local jeweler today and see what he has or what he can get me in the way of princess cut stones in my price range. I would like to see the setting up close but I think we may have a winner here.
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I noticed that several people have had problems with Tacori, so I will have to talk to the jeweler about that too.


While I still like the Ritani, I think this will look like more for my money. Thoughts, opinions????? Again, thanks for the help!

That is the VERY setting that made me decided I HAD to have sapphires in my e-ring. I think it is stunning!
 
oppps...I see you have already decided against Tacori. Ignore my above post then.
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I figured I would update the situation yet again because it seems to change daily!

OK...so earlier in the week I ordered the setting with the princess shaped side stones. The jeweler had a princess shaped diamond for the center so I thought I was all set...

Then, my lady''s sister called me Wednesday night. Hold the presses, stop everything! Lisa''s grandmother was over there that night and she was telling her about the rings we had looked at. The grandmother says that nothing is more classic than a solitaire, and that if my budget is limited, to just put all the money into a center diamond. The mom agrees and the sister had to pretend to agree. Lisa said she didn''t want another solitaire because she didn''t want the same ring as her previous engagement ring but after more talking with the grandmother is convinced to go with the solitaire for another huge reason....the grandma offered Lisa her Tiffany eternity band to wear as her wedding band. The grandmother bought the eternity band herself several years ago but cannot wear it anymore due to the arthritis in her fingers. According to Lisa''s sister, the grandmother wore the eternity band with a solitaire, and she thinks that the grandmother actually offered her the eternity band when she was engaged before.
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On Thursday, Lisa''s mom called me and told me about the eternity band after Lisa''s sister told her I had already ordered a ring. I told her I had ordered a setting with side stones...one that Lisa herself liked, and that I wanted to propose in the beginning of March. I''m a little miffed her family is so involved in this, but then again, I probably would have gotten something she would not like if I didn''t have their input. Her mom is nice but made it clear a long time ago that her first fiance was the Golden Boy. It took her a while to like me....but I digress. So then I asked if I should just get the solitaire then since she wants to use the eternity band as her wedding band. She said that what she recommends.

So I call the jeweler on Friday and ask if the order can be cancelled, that I want to get a larger center diamond since I am just getting a plain platinum solitaire and can now afford to get a bigger center. So he is going to look for some princess shapes (at least she hasn''t changed her mind about that!) to bring in for me.

So that''s where I''m at....I''ll propose with a solitaire, and if she changes her mind by then, well, then she can pick out her own setting. We''ll see how the budget is by then....maybe I can buy a setting with my income tax refund.

So did I just woos out? I feel like I did, but then again, I just want to get her something that will make her happy.
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I don''t think you wussed out - I think you''re going with the information that her family seems to be shoving down your throat! It''s fine that you went with their suggestion if they say that''s what she now wants. Go for it and if it turns out that she''s not in love with the solitaire, let her know why it was purchased (all in your last post) and she can change the setting if she wants to.
 
I hope this doesn''t offend you and your future fiancee, but it sounds like her family almost bullied her (well, in that sweet, passive-aggressive way moms and grandmas can do!) into changing her wedding set into something she didn''t want. I think it''s a shame that they couldn''t let her engagement ring and her wedding ring be what *she* wanted as opposed to what they thought she should have.

I''m also very sorry that she took her grandma''s offer of the wedding ring. I''m all for family heirlooms, but I feel that an e-ring and a w-ring are supposed to be tokens of both her fiance''s regard and a symbol of their future life together, and should not be rings given wholesale by the *bride''s* family directly to the bride without the groom''s say. I just think it sends a sour message as to where the bride''s loyalty is supposed to lie even after the wedding.
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Jim, I''ve read your saga and I agree you should stick to your guns (diamonds?). I have an incredibly opinioned/bossy family and while they mean well, there''s a reason I live 3000 miles from most of ''em. In fact, reading your latest update gave me a bit of PTSD....

It''s a given that she''ll love the one you originally ordered, and the whole solitaire/EB capitulation is just that. If she feels obliged to take her grandmother''s ring? Well, she''s got nine other fingers to decorate!
 
Jim,
I want to know what Lisa thinks of all of this?? Not what the sister thinks or the mom or the grandmom??
Just trying to get a handle on this. Thanks from another Lisa
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Good evening Jim,

WOW! I was so excited reading this thread. Your enthusiasm ... your energy kept me going on a high ride, and now ... it seems as if the "Gusto" has got up and left you.

Big sigh ...

Family pressure ... it can be difficult to deal with. Gee, all you want to do is please the love of your life, the woman when all is said and done will be with you until you''all see the pearly gates above.

Earlier in your thread, I could feel Lisa''s giddyness ... she was so happy to go window shopping and find something to fall in love with, ... and now ???

As nice as the Grandma, Mom & Sister are trying to be, I say ... What''s with this Golden boy thing ? I''m sorry, that is a type of psychological abuse ... let''s just keep this dangling over your head for the time you are married to her! I think I am going to go and vomit now !

There is a good reason why she isn''t with her Mom''s golden boy, that is because she loves you, and wants no reminders of the ugly past! That is why she absolutely went with her first instinct to "Not do what was done before!"

Stick with her first instinct, get the setting that she was litteraly doing handstands over.

She will of course accept grandma''s ring, probably because she doesn''t want to hurt her feelings ... but I can guarantee you, she will not love her grandma''s ring like she would have the one she first picked out at the jewelry store!

You are Lisa''s "Platinum Boy" now! Your love for her, you have spent so much time and energy into finding a symbol of "Your" love for her. Most men do not do as much as you have ... I commend you for all of your wonderful efforts.

STICK TO YOUR GUNS & GET THE RING SHE PICKED OUT!

Like it was mentioned above, Grandma''s heirloom ring should become a Right Hand Ring. Lisa is marrying you, not Grandma, not her Mom, etc.

Oh boy ... I wish you the best of luck ... you''ve definately got a full plate of burnt food to digest.

My best wishes for you & Lisa to have a happy and healthy marriage, my prayers to you both!

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I too agree with most people here and say that you should stick with your original plans. You just saying that your girlfirend was "giddy" when you were talking about that ring."Giddy" is a very strong word to describe ones reactions. From one guy to another, getting a girl "giddy" only helps us in the long run. Why risk the chance of her "liking" the "Families Choice" when you know what makes her "giddy"?
 
Just my personal opinion, family heirlooms as engagement/wedding rings is tacky. An engagement ring and wedding ring should symbolize the love between the two people...not the RELATIVES or INLAWS of the couple! Why don''t you make up a little story to tell her about a distant friend of yours who is using his grandmother''s ring to propose to his girlfriend, blah, blah... See what she says about that.

If I were you, I would forget about what her family is telling you and go with your heart. She can always wear her Gma''s ring on her right hand. Right?
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Good luck!!!
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