Need immediate advice on cat

[CJ2008]

FiMO, do you have a few minutes to chat with me on the other forum. I need your help with something.

ETA if you can't, please don't think twice about it. Everything is OK. Only if you have time and don't mind.

 

[freezing_in_MO]

The trust interpretation makes more sense to me. This is not your pet. She is an injured and scared animal in a foreign environment. In her position, would you turn your back? The fact that she has shows that she feels safe enough to take her eyes off of a much larger creature. I think that is a very good sign.

Our older kitty, the spoiled little prince(ss), likes being around us, but on his own terms. It is very common for him to follow me into a room, sit down, then turn his back to me and stay in that position for an hour. Sometimes I tell him that I'm tired of looking at his rear end. If I get up to leave, he'll stretch his neck out to make sure that he get a nose rub on my way out, and follow me to the next place I go. All I can say is that cats are weird, and that survival instinct trumps passive-agressive displays of hurt feelings

Great CCL minds think alike! I have a very inexpensive manual timer for my Feliway infusers. When I use them, I have them cycle on and off every half hour. That took care of the hot infuser problem.

Finally, if it smells like poo, it probably is poo. Despite your lack of sleep and extreme stress, I am sure that you would remember if you had climbed into the cage and poo'd on the towel. That leaves kitty

One thing that she did this morning for the first time ever is she turned her back to me.

The Way of Cats says that indicates hurt feelings. Another article said it indicates trust too, because she has to trust me to give her back to me. If it is hurt feelings i need to know how to make it up to her.

(OK. I am totally sounding like a CCL but honestly this all seems perfectly normal to me so it's good that *I* don't think I'm crazy )

Trying to find some reliable articles on cat body language / behavior.

I do have some Feliway, by the way. The only thing I don't like about it is that I notice those plug-ins get super hot. But I'll put it on a timer for 30 minutes.

Hi missy you're right about the towel. I'll leave it alone for now.

 

[freezing_in_MO]

Give me a minute to head up to my hotel room.

FiMO, do you have a few minutes to chat with me on the other forum. I need your help with something.

ETA if you can't, please don't think twice about it. Everything is OK. Only if you have time and don't mind.

 

[CJ2008]

((((((((thank you)))))))))))))

 

[LaylaR]

Yup, that's Harry. Orange cutie.

I am so happy she is eating. That's great news. Good job CJ!

Interesting about her hearing. That might explain some of her skittishness. I'd try to stay in her line of sight when she's eating or anything like that. I've never had a deaf cat or even one with hearing problems.

And yes, just taking time to build her trust will pay off.

Missy rocks, of course. And I am happy you are listening to her.

 

[rockysalamander]

Just popping in to say how wonderful you are being to this little one.

If she turned her back on you, she trusts you. In my experience, when my cat is annoyed at me, she will walk past me, tail straight in the air. Then, sit down all hunched up with her back to me.

 

[CJ2008]

I'll give you guys an update on the little one shortly (she peed and pooped at the vets yay) but wanted to break up the thread with a little humor.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/baby_vs_cat

It probably deserves its own thread.



(ETA I don't like the slaughter pigeons part I wish he had used something else to illustrate the same thing. It takes away from it a little bit.)

 

[freezing_in_MO]

Hahahahaha! That link is the best thing I have seen this year

As they say in Geico ads, cats slaughter pigeons because that's what cats do.

So glad that you are less stressed and kitty is doing well!

 

[minousbijoux]

I keep refreshing this thread hoping there's an update...I've been following it with bated breath. Its been so long since I've had cats come and go in my house (can't really say "own" cats, y'know?) that its like I'm a cat virgin once again, so I really don't have anything constructive to add other than my worries and prayers and hopes. CJ, no need to respond, just here to show my support!

 

[CJ2008]

I'm going to come back and update soon i'm just waiting for someone to come pick something up.

But in the meantime I went in to take a picture of her just for you @minousbijoux

(and she peed and pooped at the vet and her incisions look good and she let me take out the other towel I had in there for her which she had pooped on on the way home from the vet. I just gave her my hand in a fist to sniff and she didn't retreat. She's not eating, but I think she's just really stressed out from the vet's visit.)

ETA the important thing is I don't notice a lot of difference in her level of trust for me. A little bit, but not a lot. I was afraid she may not allow me to put my hand in the carrier at all, or really start to freak out around me if I got too close, but she hasn't.

IF I end up trying to socialize her though I will have to make sure she trusts other humans too. I put one of my socks in there for her but I am going to put something of DH's too. I just don't know what. It's got to be something he won't care about losing.

 

[junebug17]

Very glad she's doing better CJ, she looks so sweet.

 

[ringo865]

Doesnt sound feral. Stray probably, but possibly previously homed. Was the vet able to handle her?

She sniffed you but didn't bite. Keep talking to her. Just sit in there with your phone or tablet and surf while she observes you.

You're doing good work.

 

[rockysalamander]

I'm so glad that she peed and pooped. Yahoo. She certainly sounds like a kitty that wants a home. Just be patient with her and yourself.

For a scent item, how about pillow cases? We use those when we are transporting our house kitties.

 

[ecf8503]

Undershirts work well too

 

[azstonie]

Good news!!!!!!!! It's huge, the steps you've made here. I think she's a beautiful and good-natured cat.

 

[CJ2008]

Once again, I want to reply to everyone individually but now I'm tired. sad

I'll try to reply to the things that stood out to me that you guys want to know.

First of all, ((((hugs)))) to each and everyone of you for stopping by here and thinking of us.

Let me just tell you guys this girl is sweet. I see it in her.

To answer rockysalamander's question...

One of the things that really broke my heart when I took her to the vet is that she seemed like she was fairly calm around the Dr. and the technician when they were first approaching her. It was when they went to grab her that she freaked out and started thrashing all around the room. It was heartbreaking I was up against the wall crying.

But if my instincts are right I saw like an ambivalence from her even with them like can I trust these people. Now mind you, I wasn't looking directly at her and I was highly stressed so it is possible my perception of what she was sending out is off. But I think some of what caused the heightened fright is that the Dr. and the vet were clearly not relaxed in going to handle her (understandably). Something tells me though they could have done a better job. (and honestly, both of them should have been wearing gloves or something especially when they had to get her from underneath a chair). It was almost as if they didn't give her a chance to not freak out and TREATED her like a feral and so she ACTED like a feral. But again, I could be way off on this one. And I have massive respect for someone who's willing to work with animals that could clearly harm them. (they weren't going to look at her incisions because of how badly she reacted but I'm so glad I asked him to because now I have confirmation that she's healing well.)

One thing I'm realizing is that I didn't ask them to test for FeLV/FIV. I totally forgot. So I'm still in the dark on that one.

I like the idea of a pillowcase but it can't be the current one because I just bought those nice sheets. But I'll make sure to give DH an older one and then give her that.

She must be still stressed out because when I went in there right before this she had not touched her food. I replaced it with a new can and I am hoping she touches it overnight.

But yes I am able to put my fist right up to her (I did it a little further away when we got back from the vet only because I didn't want to be so arrogant with her and because I felt like I had earn a little bit the right to stick my hand in her face after what she just went through.)

I know I missed a lot of things I wanted to add and I am sure I missed some of your questions but I hope this update is good for now. The main thing is she's OK, she's not blocked. So now I know for a fact that if she doesn't eat or poop or pee it is stress related.

It was a stressful day, but a good day.

(((Thanks all))). I'm going to check in on her one more time and then going to get some rest.

 

[arkieb1]

Yay!!!!! You're doing a wonderful job and if she turns her back on you that means she thinks it's safe enough for her to do so you aren't going to attack her and she is relaxing around you now, so that's a good thing not a bad one!!!!

 

[minousbijoux]

First of all, thank you so much for posting at all. You are so sweet. Its amazing how attached to those I've never met I can become, so thank you for stopping me from pacing a hole in my hard word floors! But now that I see her, is she a multi-coloured cat? In certain areas where I've lived, they are referred to as "money cats" for some reason and all of the multi-coloured males are born deaf. (this was true in the area of Massachusetts I grew up in but don't know at all if that's a universal truth?)

That said, I also took in a stray feral, a big galoof - an orange and white cat who was frail and bony and on his death bed - at least that's what we thought. He lived outside, but in the warm places we set up for him, ate all the food we gave him, and bulked up. Eventually, we caught him and got him to the vet to be fixed, deflea'ed, to have his teeth cleaned, and to have his shots. Within 6 months, he was the biggest, strongest cast I've ever owned, and likely biggest one I'd ever seen first hand. After a while, he figured out that he could also come in out house, and slowly he became friendly. Hi eventually died of kidney disease. But only after he had good, loved life.

 

[sonnyjane]

She must be still stressed out because when I went in there right before this she had not touched her food. I replaced it with a new can and I am hoping she touches it overnight.

But yes I am able to put my fist right up to her (I did it a little further away when we got back from the vet only because I didn't want to be so arrogant with her and because I felt like I had earn a little bit the right to stick my hand in her face after what she just went through.)
.

If I could offer a bit of advice as someone that used to train wild animals - I'd refrain from sticking your hand in her face. She should have a place where she can go to be completely undisturbed. Imagine if you had just been released from the hospital and were trying to recuperate in peace but a stranger kept coming in and trying to stick their fist in your face throughout the day! You should definitely work toward her being comfortable with you, but it must be on her terms. Progress that is forced quickly can also be quickly lost. Progress that is slow and steady will be lasting. Consider your relationship a bank account. Treats and kind words are small deposits, but trips to the vet are huge withdrawals. When you met her, you had a zero balance, so all this trauma for her, however well-intentioned, has left you a bit bankrupt. You're now working on building that balance back up. Simply walk by and drop treats in the outside crate without any further contact or expectation. Say some gentle words when adding the bowl but don't force anything more than she's ready for. Eventually she will come out of the carrier and you can work toward her feeling you out and approaching more closely, but it should be on her terms. It may take a long time, but you're in no rush.

 

[freezing_in_MO]

This sounds like continual progress.

I hope that it was just normal fear that made her react the way she did at the vet, and not a sign that she was hurt by a human in some way. My older cat behaves like a deranged wildebeest at the vet, but is the sweetest, gentlest creature otherwise. I know where he has been for every day of his life, so I am sure he wasn't abused. I think it's just too many weird animal scents in one place.

In case it brings you a smile, I fantasize about little hip flasks of hard liquor the whole time we are at the vet. I've never had a drink in my life. That's how bad it gets!

I think your little lady is realizing that she now has someone looking out for her. I think cats are way smarter and more perceptive than most of us give them credit for. I hope she feels safe and demonstrates that feeling to you. You deserve to see it after all the compassion, blood, sweat, and tears you have put into caring for her.

 

[CJ2008]

Good morning.

I just wanted you all to know I just went in to check in on her (last night I refrained from going in there to give her as much time as possible to relax) and she had eaten AND peed.

What's awesome about that is that she needs to come out of the cage completely and jump down on to the floor (the cage is up on the bahtub on top of a piece of plywood) so she had to venture out into the room (precisely why I didn't go n there last night. I knew she was going to need extra courage after that trip to the vet.)

This is just a quick update because I'm going to go back to bed a little bit.

sonnyjane what you're saying makes so much sense to me. You know, it's funny, every time I did it I felt inside that there was something wrong with it. Like I was invading her space. Something felt off to me about it. On the other hand I did have moments of thinking that it would be good if she smelled me, and if she saw that even if I stick my hand in there STILL nothing bad happens that it must be safe. But underneath it all it *felt* rushed and forced on some level. It was advice I got on another forum (from another bunch of super nice people that have also been very helpful) and I ignored my instincts. And yes, I can see what you're saying especially just having come back from the vet. I also agree that slow is always better. I credit the super slow (months) building up to an actual introduction that my boy and my girl get along at all. There were no "shoulds" as to what should be happening. I only went to the next step when I clearly saw and felt and observed we had conquered each level of comfort. In this case, maybe I allowed the pangs of satisfaction at seeing her sniff my hand overpower that. It was a bit selfish. I'll go back to the other forum and express my thoughts on it because perhaps other people have the same instincts and they're not listening to them. It may even why perhaps some attempts at bonding fail or aren't as successful and deep as they could have been. I'll have to word it in such a way that nobody ends up feeling bad for giving me the advice because I have no doubt they gave it with the best of intentions and because it worked for them. But as with all advice sometimes our own instincts and being in the moment tells us something different and we have to listen to that.

FiMO. Hi. (((hugs))) I love that you loved the cat/baby thing. It brought a smile to my face. And the little flasks too. But honestly it was kind of hard to have any thoughts in my mind when there were these words flying across it constantly OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO LOL It was just really hard to see her so stressed I felt like I had breached her trust. But I do not in any way take what happens at the vet as indication of anything. I agree with you that you can have the gentlest of creatures on your hands and they can freak out at the vet. You know, honestly, I don't feel like I deserve anything from her at this point. I feel that I still need to prove myself. It hasn't been nearly enough time, if in fact, she was either hurt by someone, or has lived her life on the streets and had to endure who knows what. What keeps me going is what you guys have been doing. I couldn't ask for more. (((((((((thank you so so much FiMO))))))))

minous I cannot tell you how many times during this whole thing I said to myself incredible how I can feel so much support from people I've never met. It's really really nice. I'm glad I helped you save your hardwood floors. Yes, she is multicolored. I definitely think she does not hear that well. I'll find out eventually once all other priorities are done. But I thought it almost immediately when I started feeding her out on the streets and I could come from behind her while she was eating. She would not realize I was there it seemed to me, until she saw me. And then she'd quickly grab a little food and take it away a bit further. I'd love to see a picture of your big orange fur baby if you have one. My first cat was an orange stray too. One of the sweetest cats I ever met. He died also of kidney failure but like yours only after being safe and loved for many years. Thank you for peeking your head in this thread I am glad you let me know you were thinking of her.

I'll be back later.

 

[missy]

CJ yay on the happy updates and continuing to think good thoughts for her and you and send good luck vibes and healing dust her way. And big (((hugs))) to you for making all this possible. You are the best!!!

 

[freezing_in_MO]

Good morning CJ,
This sounds like fantastic progress to me! You deserve adoration from this sweet kitty, and I have a feeling that you are on your way to getting it!
Thanks for taking the time to send status updates despite everything you have going on.

 

[CJ2008]

@PattyCo thank you I see you ((hugs))

Guys, I am having a little bit of a rough day today.

People stuff. Which is why I get along with animals.

Honestly.

But i just went in the bathroom, and she ate. Her wet food and her dry food.

She ate.

That is all that matters.

 

[ecf8503]

 

[azstonie]

 

[cmd2014]

Yay. Glad she's doing well. It sounds like she's decided that you are ok and that her current situation is ok. I hope that with time she lets you be her person too.

 

[CJ2008]

CJ,

I don't mind you asking. I went to see if they would have any use for the hypoallergenic food that I had bought for Max. I wasn't sure if cats with sensitive stomachs were given a chance or not there, so I wasn't sure if I should bring it to them or to a no-kill shelter. But since I got Max from the humane society, it would feel better to give back to them if I could. And they said they would be grateful for it as it is expensive but necessary for some of the fur babies they have there. I'm not ready yet to think about getting a new member of the family. I still just want Max back and if I were to adopt again, I'd want to be able to have a more open heart to someone new than I do right now.

I'm so glad that you were able to give them the food.

I hear you on just wanting back Max. Only you will know when you're ready to open your heart again.

But while I was there, I got talking to one of the volunteers who suggested that if I had some time, and if I thought it might do my heart some good, I could volunteer to be a cat cuddler and spend some time with the older cats and the ones who had been sick, all of whom need extra attention and socialization than the younger cats, but don't tend to get it as easily as the kittens who are cute and naturally more outgoing. Many of them have been owned prior to being relinquished, are 5, 7, 10 years old, and are harder to adopt out because it's a tough transition from their previous home to being in a cage surrounded by other cats and being touched by strangers. They are scared and it makes them hard to get to know. So I spent an hour helping to socialize the ones that are still in their shell. I managed to convince some of them to let me pick them up for shoulder snuggles and lap time (I even got a few pretty good snuggles and purrs). Others were able to be coaxed out of their private spaces for a chat and a pat just at the edge of their cage. I left with only a single scratch, which happened by accident when a feisty little girl tried to take a swipe at her downstairs neighbor and snagged me in passing instead. And one charmer tried to lull me into submission with squeaks, giant belly purrs, and head butts just so that he could use me as a step stool to a high spot he wanted to explore. He didn't fool me, so it was all for naught, but it gave me a good laugh.

This is so awesome that you did this for these kitties, especially the ones that are not cute and cuddly and older. It's like the Christmas Trees that look all messed up nobody ever wants them. And LOL on the kitty totally using you as a stool.

In thinking about your situation, it is possible that your cat may be a stressed out street kitty rather than being completely feral. Some feral cat colony cats are actually stray or abandoned cats. So they are skittish around people, but aren't truly wild. They take a while to stop being scared and to warm up, but they can often turn into very loving pets. My first boy was like that, but fancy feast and a comfy bed eventually won him over.

She's very gentle. She always came across that way to me, even when she was in the street there was always something very gentle about her.

I hope your girl is actually a stray rather than being feral and that she'll eventually come around. I hear how hard it will be for you to have to release her. So far so good, right? All cats hide and refuse to use the litter in a strange new place. Then they gradually come around. It can take a surprising amount of time. I hope she learns to trust you too and then maybe you won't have to release her.

I hope so too. I will give her whatever time she needs. I just want her to be OK.

And I hope that this low energy is normal based on everything she's been through, new environment, etc. and not an indication that something else is going on as far as an illness. Even when outside, she didn't come across as energetic like that rest of the cats there. There's maybe a sadness to her. I had attributed it to her injuries. But I don't know.

Anyway, I had been wanting to respond to your post since you posted. I'm glad you came in to the thread and thank you for worrying and supporting me with this little girl.

If you feel like it, please post a picture of beautiful Max.

 

[CJ2008]

Yay. Glad she's doing well. It sounds like she's decided that you are ok and that her current situation is ok. I hope that with time she lets you be her person too.

Thank you cmd.

I hope I am able to do the right thing for her, whatever that may mean.

It is all I want.

 

[freezing_in_MO]

How's the little lady, CJ?