My husband doesn''t want to reset my ring...:((

[risingsun]

I wonder if you could suggest getting a wrap with sapphires that would flank your center stone. It could give you the look you want without changing your e-ring. One of my friends has a wrap and it really looks beautiful. If need be, it could be custom made so your ring looks like a three stone design.

 

[marcy]

If I were you I''d just let it go for now. It makes you feel bad when you talk to him about it and he isn''t ready for a change so I would just wear it and wait until he is more agreeable to a new setting.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Your husband sounds very responsible and you should be proud of that! Not only are you on a tight budget, but your students who may be entering the job force when the job market is extremely unstable. It would be unwise to invest into a new ring right now.

When the time is right, say at an anniversary, then hint again about a change.

I''m betting if you stick the ring in a drawer, refusing to wear it, he may never buy you another peice of jewelry again. I could never imagine how that behavior would change his outlook on the situation. It''ll only make him mad.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 3/25/2009 1:57:15 PM
Author: risingsun
I wonder if you could suggest getting a wrap with sapphires that would flank your center stone. It could give you the look you want without changing your e-ring. One of my friends has a wrap and it really looks beautiful. If need be, it could be custom made so your ring looks like a three stone design.

I love this idea! I think that woobug has a wrap posted on here somewhere that''s gorgeous. But I would still wait until you are out of school & more financially stable, and as an anniversary gift. Good luck!

 

[Imdanny]

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 3/23/2009 1:57:30 PM
Author: tradergirl
I''d just pay for it myself and if you can''t do that, I''d take it off and toss it in a drawer and tell him I''ll wear it once it''s been reset.

Sorry, I forgot to hit Quote.

 

[DiamondFlame]

Hmm...I recall reading an earlier thread from a girl who wanted to reset her BF's grandmother's ring that he proposed her with. Was this you, OP?

I'm a guy. If I were to propose my GF with my grandmother's ring, it says 2 things about me. One, I may be budget-conscious. And two, I must be quite the sentimental person to have offered a family heirloom in lieu of a proposal. While having it reset the first time may not be entirely avoidable, I'd probably prefer a resize. But having it reset based on a design chosen by my GF, only to have her asking for a second reset soon after, that will definitely be upsetting. Is my E-ring really not good enough that she has to insist on a second reset? Will there be third reset if for any reason she gets tired of the sidestones, etc?

If you treasure your man, you could try to be a little more patient and wait for your perfect ring. Otherwise, as some have suggested, buy yourslf a RHR. I know my GF would wear ANY ring from me because she loves me and values the symbolism of the e-ring more than the actual look of the diamond/setting. I guess not every woman feels that way...

 

[motownmama]

My thought was the same as Risingsun (above) - try a wrap with sapphires - it''s not super expensive, it doesn''t change the ER and it in fact makes it look like it''s set lower by the way the wrap goes around the prongs ( I know b/c I sometimes wear one). I would NOT pester your hubby at this point in time -it seems like it''s a sore spot - a ring is not worth making a big issue in a marriage, is it?

 

[ckrickett]

I think getting the wrap is an awesome idea... and maybe also getting it lowered but with the same shank.
something like that might work.... right?

 

[04diamond<3]

Date: 3/23/2009 10:44:08 PM
Author: Change
Thanks so much everyone for your reply! I read through every single one of them and am feeling much better

. After I thought about it, I think I will probably just wait and maybe an anniversary gift down the road.

Actually when he proposed, he gave me his grandmother''s ring, which I now wear as a RHR. It is old but I love it very much. This ER was picked out later just a little before we got married. Due to our budget, he wasn''t able to take me to some grand jewellery stores. Instead, we went to a private seller whom my mother in law knows. I helped pick the setting then from a bunch of sample pictures (she didn''t have any actual ring I could look at). If I knew it was this high I wouldn''t have picked it then. But it was difficult to tell from a picture. So anyway, I wasn''t in love with it but am feeling very blessed that I get to own two rings, both of which with great sentimental values. This is part of the reasons why I feel bad when I ask my husband about the reset - I already own what we could afford, PLUS his grandmother''s ring. So yes, I do feel ''spoiled'' sometimes by asking him that. But then again, I wouldn''t have picked that ring if I saw the actual setting myself. It was nice in the picture but it wasn''t taken from the right angle so it was misleading in a way.

I was on the phone with my mom the other day talking about my ring. She told me my dad finally got her a diamond ring - after almost 30 years of marriage! My dad actually put it on her finger and told her it''s a late diamond ring but she was so happy! My dad overheard our conversation, he said if I don''t want my ring to get caught on anything - for example, a sweater, what I could do is when I put it on, I could turn the ring around so that it faces my palm, that way it won''t catch on the sweater. And I thought that was a really good idea! Although I hope I don''t have to wait 30 years to get my upgrade/reset/anniversary gift or whatever it will be

Change

Change,

When I first read this, I had to laugh, cause my husband and I were at the same place you are. He proposed when I was still in school, and he had a part time job and going to school part time. We managed to find a 1ct, which is what I''d always wanted, for the price of a 1/2 carat, which was awesome! Over time, I started really not liking the 6 prongs, the fact that I couldn''t clean it too well and the fact that the diamond sat high and like yours caught in everything. this was over a year and a half ago. We now have full time jobs, and secure jobs making decent money, and so my husband (TOTALLY OUT OF THE BLUE!!!) said that he was giving me a certain budget that I could do whatever I wanted with! I was shocked! So I bought my self some sapphires and am currently working on doing EXACTLY what you said you''d like to do, which again is why I had to laugh!

I am very blesssed to have such an amazing husband, and when I first started complaining about the ring, it hurt him. Because when he got it for me, we didn''t have much to begin with, but he was so proud of getting the ring he did. So I wouldn''t keep complaining about it. I do however think you have a valid point, I think that if you expressed to him your concern for the diamond and the setting being damage because of how high it sits, then I would think he would want to do something about that. I wouldn''t say that you don''t like your setting, but that your afraid something might happen to it, let him know that it makes you uncomfortable. Like Maise said, marriege is a compromise, see if you guys can find a middle ground.

If he still just doesn''t want to do anything, then lets hope you have insurance on that ring. But if the reason you want to change right now if just because you don''t like it, then I would hold off.

When the time does come, I have a suggestion: what I am doing with my project, is I am creating my three stone from my original setting, so that way, it''s still my orginal ring, just modified (husbands are happier to hear that FYI)

. Just something that he may be more inclined to....Anyways, the reason I quoted what you recently said was because you''re totally right, you are lucky to have two rings both of sentimental value, maybe in the future you can do something with both of them...just a thought.

Anyways, I hope you all can work something out, obviously, you can always come to us for help!