Married people not wearing rings...

[missy]

I love wearing my rings! I rarely wear my original wb now but I usually always have something on. My DH has his original wb and refuses to have it polished or re milgrained or a new one w a diamond in it... Mind you, just having been in NYC and looking at all the things on 47th st, he IS considering a new RG band. He waited till our 20th anniversary, right at 430pm when we were married, before he took off his too tight ring for resizing. Awe-- so sweet!!

That is so sweet Enerchi! As you know, my dh would never wear a ring with a diamond in it either. And I think he might get a RG WB band too! I think it will look great on both of our dh's. Maybe I'll get one too!

We can get a group deal on 4 bands!! I love my little RG spacer...

Oooh, I like the way you think girlfriend!

 

[Laila619]

My observation is the further away from the wedding day, the more casual the ring wearing becomes.
Things change after a few years, and most couples I know are secure enough in who they are and what their relationship means that the ring is less important. You have years of history as a couple/family - not just the wedding and rings.
My husband and I go to the gym or run pretty much everyday and sometimes the rings never make it on after that. I don't always remember to look at other moms when I 'm at my daughter's school, but I know I try to remember to not wear a ring. I lead some art classes and it's better to leave the jewelry at home.

That's a good point, I think you're right.

 

[Laila619]

One of DH's friends doesn't wear her rings and neither does her DH. They are very active and she's not big into jewelry. Also, my SIL hasn't had her wedding ring on in months and they just got married in August! She didn't want an e-ring, so my brother proposed with the ring that would become her wedding band (2mm plain band). My brother wears his band 24/7 though.

I rarely wear an e-ring anymore, just my plain platinum band. I work with kids, I have kids, I just don't want to worry about rings right now. I can wash my hands and put lotion on and not think twice about my band. I know some women do that with diamond rings but I'm so OCD about clean diamonds, that I can't do that.

This is totally me too, Feb! I have a plain rose gold band I am obsessed with; it's so comfortable, classic, and easy to wear!

I bought a 2mm 14k rose gold band from EWB and it is like BUTTER! I had my children's names engraved on the inside and it's suppose to be my RHR but when I do wear it, I stack it with my halo or I wear it alone as a wedding band. But like I said, it's been my platinum band that I've been wearing 24/7 recently.

I should add, DH wears his wedding band 24/7. I love it. It's dinged and should be polished but I love that he never takes it off and that it's the one we picked out and that I put on his finger at our ceremony. Love that.

That's so sweet! My hub wears his original band 24/7 too (yellow gold with milgrain). I would not like if my DH didn't wear some sort of ring.

 

[NOYFB]

DH wears his 24/7. He won't even take it off to get rhodium plated. He's very sentimental about it and also with my matching band (they were inexpensive, but engraved, and they are the bands we exchanged on our wedding day); so sentimental, in fact, that he was offended when I considered removing it from my stack when I got my e-ring reset and bezel band, or even changing the position of it (it's closest to my heart, he says). I think that's very sweet

I take mine off when I get home and put them on after I've showered and gotten ready for the day. I don't like being out in public without them. I LOVE my bling, so I would hate for it to sit in a box all the time.

I would say that 90% of the folks I know wear their ring(s) every day. But, I would never judge someone if they chose not to. As Kenny always says "people vary".

 

[bunnycat]

My observation is the further away from the wedding day, the more casual the ring wearing becomes.
Things change after a few years, and most couples I know are secure enough in who they are and what their relationship means that the ring is less important. You have years of history as a couple/family - not just the wedding and rings.
My husband and I go to the gym or run pretty much everyday and sometimes the rings never make it on after that. I don't always remember to look at other moms when I 'm at my daughter's school, but I know I try to remember to not wear a ring. I lead some art classes and it's better to leave the jewelry at home.

I think you are probably right about that. Like Enerchi, I actually really enjoy wearing my rings and I think my hubby does as well, which I think is very cool for a guy, because they usually don't seem to. Or maybe it's because in my last relationship, we never had any rings, and I always found that a little sad.

 

[rubybeth]

My dad doesn't have a wedding band because of safety concerns with doing work on cars, with power tools, etc., and now that I think of it, I don't think my grandfather does, either--or he doesn't wear it because he worked for the railroad for many years and is a handyman, also working with tools pretty regularly. DH has been having some repetitive stress injury issues this year, so hasn't been wearing his band, and it doesn't bother me at all. My grandparents celebrated their 68th wedding anniversary this week, and my parents will celebrate their 41st anniversary next month, while DH and I will celebrate 5 years in August.

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

My parents were married for 20 years and never wore rings. I would think it's simply a personal preference. I wear my band all the time and never take it off. My husband wears his ring when he leaves the house but takes it off at home.

 

[rosetta]

My parents have been married 36 years, my in laws 40+ years, none of them wear rings.

My husband and I wear our rings through everything, including the gym, washing up, showering, gardening and in bed (my nightmare is that I'll have to run out the house in a fire and will have left my rings behind in the rush, so I keep them on!)

Husband's platinum ring is battered and we've only been married two years! He lost weight and now has to wear the ring on his middle finger. I have hugely swollen fingers in summer and can hardly get my rings off. We both feel naked without them.

I have to go to sleep now, so I'm going to lotion up by hands. And put my rings back on.

 

[gemtastic]

My parents never wore them. They were married with wide braided gold bands that were beautiful (from the pics). My dad lost his, and my mom's never fit after kids, and was then stolen during a move. So I never saw either parent wear a wedding band. My mom would wear her engagement ring though.
About 10 years ago my dad was working in a small office with lots of women, and one day told my mom they needed wedding bands, so they went to Kmart and bought bands. That lasted about 6 months, now no bands. Not sure if he was being hit on at work

My husband does not wear his wedding ring unless we are "dressing up", like going out to dinner or to a nice social event. He doesn't wear any jewelry, not even a watch. Doesn't bother me that he doesn't wear it. When he does wear it, he completely fidgets with it the entire time. I understand not liking to wear jewelry--not every one is a PS'er
Me, I wear my bling everyday--gym, running, etc. Only take it off to golf (uncomfortable) and to sleep. I wear my bling because I enjoy staring at it , not because of some tradition.

 

[DNB]

I find not wearing rings strange. Everyone I know wears theirs, and most men I know have and wear theirs. DH and I have been married 32 years and wear them everyday. My parents always wear theirs and MIL does too ( all married 55+ years). FIL lost his, but he did wear one for years. My sisters and DH's brother and their spouses all wear theirs too. SO, I don't buy into the longer you're married, the less likely you are to wear it. Our friends all who have bee married 25-30 years plus all wear rings. I work with a woman who has worn hers exactly once, but it's too big since she lost 100 lbs a couple of years ago. Her DH wears one and she's waiting for him to buy her a new one. I told her to have it resized, but she says her DH has to buy her a new one, basically, it's his responsibility

To us, it's not about trust. Yes, rings are a symbol, but that's why we wear them. Mine come off to sleep, work in the yard and shower. Other than that, they're always on. I feel naked without them and DH has said the same thing.

 

[sonnyjane]

I find not wearing rings strange. Everyone I know wears theirs, and most men I know have and wear theirs. DH and I have been married 32 years and wear them everyday. My parents always wear theirs and MIL does too ( all married 55+ years). FIL lost his, but he did wear one for years. My sisters and DH's brother and their spouses all wear theirs too. SO, I don't buy into the longer you're married, the less likely you are to wear it. Our friends all who have bee married 25-30 years plus all wear rings. I work with a woman who has worn hers exactly once, but it's too big since she lost 100 lbs a couple of years ago. Her DH wears one and she's waiting for him to buy her a new one. I told her to have it resized, but she says her DH has to buy her a new one, basically, it's his responsibility

To us, it's not about trust. Yes, rings are a symbol, but that's why we wear them. Mine come off to sleep, work in the yard and shower. Other than that, they're always on. I feel naked without them and DH has said the same thing.

I agree that I feel naked without one. There have been a few times where I've had a bit too much wine before bedtime and I forget to put mine back on after washing my face. When I wake up in the morning without it I feel "guilty" lol!

 

[woofmama]

I always wear my rings exceot when sleeping or showering. My original wedding band was on my finger for 14 yrs. It became stuck as the years past and I grew,lol I had it cut off at the firehouse one morning after I had tried all the home remedies to remove it.
I was itching for an upgrade anyway, my stuff was tired and old, so that was my excuse to shop I found PS around that time and never looked back. I still have my mangled band and the little diamond. It's a keepsake to me.
My original ering is intact and I wear it occassionally as a RHR. It's different and cool so I rotate with other RHRs.

My husband wore his ring every day. It was a two tone WG and YG band with a diamond (I had the same one). He took it off to clean it about once a month. Last year he accidently put it in a jar of silver jewelry cleaner instead of the diamond/gold cleaner and it was badly damaged. My jeweler said they could polish it out but we can't find it
If it doesn't turn up by August (our anniversary) I'm going to surprise him with a new ring. I keep showing him mens bands and he tells me he wants his band fixed as soon as we locate it. He loved the diamond and took great pride in keeping it clean.

To address some of the issues in this thread about meaning and fidelity, when we were first married it was a big deal to me that he wear his ring, he enjoyed wearing therefore he had it on most of the time. After 15 1/2yrs I'm very confident that even without the ring we wouldn't have any issues.

 

[NOYFB]

I feel naked without them

Me too! My original band never comes off (unless I'm cleaning it). I don't even notice it because it's so comfortable. I do, however, notice when it is off.

As for the rest of my e-ring/wedder stack, I feel totally naked without them. They are a part of me!

 

[ViolaDiamante]

I rarely wear my rings. When I first got married, I didn't have my 'engagement' ring yet, and I did wear my pave wedding band regularly. But I work in a male dominated industry where nobody wears rings for safety reasons, so once I got an engagement style ring I always feel like its a little flashy for the environment. I am also an owner in our business, and don't like to wear a luxury item that attracts attention. (the rings aren't that crazy or big, I just feel like all the pave is a bit much.) And then I don't wear them at home or when I'm sleeping. My husband also only occasionally wears his. But most of my friends wear theirs all of the time, so I think it kind of depends. Like mine, father in law doesn't wear a ring because of work, so I think its something my husband and I are used to. Other people probably feel naked or unmarried without theirs on.

 

[TravelingGal]

I don't care if people do or not. Preference as others said. But mine never comes off. I'll probably go to my grave with it! 2mm platinum band, so it's very comfy!

 

[Circe]

Up until my pregnancy, I wore my wedding ring NON STOP. My e-ring, anniversary bands, etc. ... well, I took them off to clean them, or for aesthetic reasons, but the wedding band? NEVAH! And then for the last two months it wasn't an option, and it still doesn't fit on my right hand like it should, so ... while I'm always wearing SOMETHING (and usually on the ring finger of each hand), there's no guarantee as to what it will be, day to day.

My husband, on the other hand, hasn't taken his wedding ring off since the wedding day (except for when I've made him remove it so I could clean it). This is particularly funny to me because, as a Swedish engineer, he's supposed to stack his wedding ring with his graduation ring, graduation ring closest to the body, because while wives come and go, engineering is forever.

I wasn't really having with that, so the engineering ring is on the right while the wedding ring is on the left. I'm very happy we could come to an agreement there - these things are purely symbolic, yes, but symbols matter to me, on some level.

 

[himni]

Me and my husband used to wear wedding bands all the time when we first got married. However as we finished school it changed a bit, his a computer programmer so sometimes if his building computers he won't wear his ring to the office. As for myself I am an interior designer and I normally wear 2 wedding bands -that aren't delicate such as pave bands, the reason is that I'm always touching flooring,wall or furniture samples. I'm always banging my rings and washing my hands. The only time I wear my e-ring to work is if I am just doing paperwork.

However if we are going out we always wear our rings. It feels odd if we don't. My married friends all wear their wedding rings.

 

[monarch64]

I've actually gone to work a couple times without my rings ACCIDENTALLY. Either my husband has brought them to me, or I've suffered through a shift without them, and hated it. He never ever takes his wedding band off, so avoids any issues. I take mine off to clean them or to give the baby a bath, or do household chores, so damnit, I have an excuse! I really do feel uncomfortable in public without my rings on, when it's happened.

That said, I know plenty of committed couples who do not wear rings, and I have no problem with that. To each, their own. I guess I have other things to worry about? By that I mean, my dad has never worn a wedding band since I've known him (he apparently lost his about a year after he and my mom were married) and my brother and SIL are pretty relaxed about wearing whatever rings they've picked up for the moment--they like to buy/sell/trade jewelry on ebay, etc. Other friends of ours are in solid relationships and several of them don't have the legal option to marry at this time, so.

Laila, I can understand why you posted this thread. If I were in the situation you described, I would be curious, too, for curiosity's sake. Interesting topic! I'm planning to take A to the library this summer for story time and activities, so I will probably be hyper aware now of whether parents are wearing rings!

 

[Sakuracherry]

This is an interesting topic. My parents never wore their wedding bands. My mother has always liked to wear rings when going out though. My husband used to wear his wedding band everyday, but now we don't even remember where we put it away. I adore my wedding set, but rarely wear them. Probably I wear my wedding set once a month or so. I see a lot of customers with nice eternity bands at my work. I think that's very nice. I guess some people don't like to wear wedding bands while others do.

 

[dani13]

Add me to the list of people who never really wear their rings. Mine only come out *sometimes* on the weekends. Between my job and now a new baby, its just much easier to not wear them and have to worry about them.

 

[Niel]

Neither of my grandparents nor my father wear a ring. They worked with their hands all there lives and just never got one. Well, ive heard one of my grandparents had one at one point bit it got ruined for that exact reason.

Sense none of the men in my family wear them, my sister didn't really want her DH to wear one, so now he doesn't either.
My FI wants one and I'm still on the fence about how I feel about it. I dont dislike it by any means, and I like that he wants to show off that fact to strangers, but it just still seems weird


My mother only wears a wedding band.

I always wear my e ring to work and am sure I will continue to, sense I work in an office at a desk. I have a small child, but she doesn't seem to sway my decision to wear my ring at all. Its pretty sturdy. I know my FI won't wear his to work (work with his hands) but he still wants one for every other activity.

 

[woofmama]

I have to say I'm a bit surprised by the number of replies in which people don't wear rings. All for valid reasons of course, but this is a jewelry obsessed crowd To think that so many lovely rings are sitting at home alone! I think for many on here the hunt for the diamond and setting is what drives them to PS. I enjoy all of that as well but feel naked if I leave home without my bling. I would be happy to keep your rings company and make sure they get plenty of wear if you send them to me

 

[Laila619]

I have to say I'm a bit surprised by the number of replies in which people don't wear rings. All for valid reasons of course, but this is a jewelry obsessed crowd To think that so many lovely rings are sitting at home alone! I think for many on here the hunt for the diamond and setting is what drives them to PS. I enjoy all of that as well but feel naked if I leave home without my bling. I would be happy to keep your rings company and make sure they get plenty of wear if you send them to me

Haha, me too! I thought all PSers wore their bling!

 

[DiamondsOnly]

I've been married for 9 months, just had a baby (we work quick ) I love love love my rings but haven't been able to wear them due to swelling. I'm almost a month pp and they still don't fit. I hate that they don't fit and hope they don't have to be resized but...

I also have CT which is a pain in the rump. I hope the CT goes away soon so I can get the rings resized if that comes down to it.

My husband doesn't wear them to work because he's a contractor but does wear them when we go out.

I MISS MY BLING!!!!

 

[Jennifer W]

Oh gosh, I've been married too long to attach much significance to the ring these days. When I first got married, I agonised over whether to take it off to clean the diamond. I think as I've grown older, I've come to care much less about things, even hugely symbolic things, and much more about the intangibles. I'm feeling a bit nostalgic and romantic today though, since we're planning our 10th anniversary trip for later in the year.

I'm not going to go to bed with anyone who isn't J, and I'm pretty sure he's going to avoid infidelity too, but if either of us was tempted, I don't think the ring would be significant one way or the other.

I haven't worn mine since last October, when the diamond came loose. I haven't got round to fixing it yet. It's a lovely ring, as well as being symbolic, and I'm going to repair it and have it blessed again on our anniversary, at the church we were married in. It's just that though, a symbol. I have many more significant reminders of the lovely man I married, in my head and in my heart all the time, every day.

J has never taken his ring off, other than when I insist on polishing it and making it round again. He also wears a band I made for him as a birthday gift a few years ago. He wanted to stack it with his wedding band (hahahaha. He has been listening to me all these years as it turned out) but ended up wearing it as a rhr. Bless.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Some people -- more men than women, I think -- just don't like to wear jewelry. My father didn't have a wedding ring -- didn't like the way it felt. DH used to keep his on all the time until he, ahem, outgrew it. Can't get it on anymore. I don't care if he uses it or not -- I don't feel he needs to have a badge.

I take my rings off at home. Too often go rushing out & forget to put them on. That irritates me -- I LOVE my bling, but on those occasions, I might be one of those you see & wonder why they don't wear a wedding ring, lol.

--- Laurie

Wait--WHAT???????????????? Are there such beings?

Even when my son was a baby I wore my wedding ring.

eta: We've been together for over 30 years. Mr. St. Clare has worn the same ring and has NEVER removed it, even during surgery, he had it taped to his finger. I, on the other hand have about 7-8 different band combinations.

However, a whole loada crap went down here about 10 years ago and I wasn't sure I was going to stay in the marriage and removed my wedding rings. I also started a new job. During the first year one of the male teachers asked me for a date and I politely declined, telling him I was married. He angrily told another person that I was guilty of "false advertising" and "wasted his time" for not wearing a ring. I got a good laugh out of it. Any way, things are totally resolved for the better, I have a lovely new ring. Mr. St. Clare has gained a bit of weight and the ring looks positively embedded into his finger. I've offered to get him a new one--or a least get it cut off and resized--but he's totally happy with the way it is.

 

[LittleRiver]

We're in our early 30's and all of our married friends wear rings. I have noticed, however, that many of the women have stopped wearing their e-rings and wear just a band.

Among our parents' generation, my FIL and uncle have never worn wedding rings, although both of their wives do.

 

[Resonance.Of.Life]

I feel naked without mine and my husband wears his 24/7!

 

[armywife13]

When I am just hanging out around the house with my two year old, I usually wear my wedding set, but do not always. I do however always make a point of wearing it if I go out or if we are around people other than my husband, child, or family. Especially because the army community can be very catty and like to start rumors of cheating or marital problems if you are seen out without your wedding band on.

My husband does not wear his on his finger for part of his work day, it is on his dogtags, but that is due to his job. When he was in artillery and still today as a Blackhawk pilot, he and all the other soldiers do not wear their wedding bands during specific duties because of the risk of it getting caught in the machinery and losing the finger, or even worse, the hand.

 

[manderz]

We both wear ours all the time. S was nervous about wearing one, he was apprehensive about being injured when wearing it to play basketball, etc. But, he's decided to wear it all the time, and has gotten pretty comfortable with it. I was a bit surprised to hear that he wanted to wear one, as he doesn't ever wear any other jewelry. Gives me a little smile to see him wear it