Let it all hangout -- The Grumpies, whinies, complainies Get It Off Your Chest Thread....

[missy]

The houses close day after tomorrow. Seriously!?!! Our lender has not yet sent closing documents and wants some supplemental credit check! WTF!?! We are intentionally buying with a mortgage smaller than we can afford even I just one income despite DH working a nice job and me going to head soon as we move. Plus will have savings to cover more than year of expenses with absolutely no income of any form if it came to that. (Probably closer to two years!) Why are they still digging!?

This might be why I have shingles....

Ugh! IIRC everything was last minute with the lender for all our closings too. I think that may be par for the course. SO stressful.
I hope it all comes through in time and the closing goes smoothly. And that your shingles heals without incident. Are you on antivirals?

 

[missy]

We are getting 12-18” of snow tomorrow but the school district expects all the kids to be online for remote learning because of COVID (whatever that even means). If you live in the northeast you know that one of the great joys being a kid is the first big snowfall and school being cancelled. There is no way in this suck a** year I’m letting some crap policy take that away from the kids.

It’s 9 days before Christmas and tomorrow my kids will be sleeping in, playing in the snow and having hot chocolate and enjoying what little magic there is this year.

I totally agree with you and I don't even have kids. It's the one great joy of snow. Enjoying snow days and not having to go to school. This Superintendent is doing the right thing.

West Virginia School Superintendent Nixes Virtual Learning, Calls a Snow Day | Weather.com

Virtual learning is making snow days obsolete in some areas. - Articles from The Weather Channel | weather.com

weather.com

"It has been a year of seemingly endless loss and the stress of trying to make up for that loss," she said. "For just a moment, we can all let go of the worry of making up for the many things we missed by making sure this is one thing our kids won’t lose this year."


Amen.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Venting.

2020 has been to date the hardest year yet for us and 2019 was a B***h of a year so that's saying something. Greg will have had 5 surgeries over a 13 month period. Four of them during the Covid 19 pandemic.

We both have something weird happening and not sure if it is due to exposure to radiation but further investigation is necessary. Once Greg has his next (and please let it be his last surgery for a long while please) surgery to take care of thyroid cancer and possible hyperparathyroidism. Then I have to get evaluated. So crazy.

And everything requires a Covid test. Greg had three Covid tests in 9 days because of the doctor's policy before seeing patients. And then that doctor was exposed to Covid in his personal life so is now quarantining for 2 weeks. Cannot make this stuff up.

But we are with a new surgeon now who seems highly skilled and compassionate so that is great.

But omg please please please let this horrible year end on a good note and may 2021 be better for everyone.

In the meantime I am exhausted and Greg is exhausted and thanks for having this thread so we can vent and just get it out.

Gahh, I'm si sorry @missy ! And I am also sorry I missed the news about Greg !! Big Big Big huge hugs across thz miles

 

[TooPatient]

Ugh! IIRC everything was last minute with the lender for all our closings too. I think that may be par for the course. SO stressful.
I hope it all comes through in time and the closing goes smoothly. And that your shingles heals without incident. Are you on antivirals?

The antivirals are another whine! I went to urgent care (since my Dr was booked for days) which is fine because they are better than my GP anyway. But I got there after having had the rash for a week. So no antivirals. Antibiotics for secondary skin infection and told to try ibuprofen for the awful pain. Posted the misery on a support group for my MS and was met with shock that I got no nerve pain meds because shingles are so painful. Out of desperation, I called my neurologist to get nerve pain meds. Luckily I did! Either the MS or the meds I am on make the standard 72 hour window to start antivirals not apply so it was critical I start on them ASAP. I got to suffer extra pain and misery because the doctors aren't trained to understand why that 72 hour window. Anyone using their head would have seen my medical history (which we talked about) and known that my case is different than normal. That's okay, because the nurse made me feel like crap for calling the neuro when I should have been talking to my GP. If I had listened to her, I would still not have had antivirals and may or may not have even gotten nerve pain meds.

 

[missy]

The antivirals are another whine! I went to urgent care (since my Dr was booked for days) which is fine because they are better than my GP anyway. But I got there after having had the rash for a week. So no antivirals. Antibiotics for secondary skin infection and told to try ibuprofen for the awful pain. Posted the misery on a support group for my MS and was met with shock that I got no nerve pain meds because shingles are so painful. Out of desperation, I called my neurologist to get nerve pain meds. Luckily I did! Either the MS or the meds I am on make the standard 72 hour window to start antivirals not apply so it was critical I start on them ASAP. I got to suffer extra pain and misery because the doctors aren't trained to understand why that 72 hour window. Anyone using their head would have seen my medical history (which we talked about) and known that my case is different than normal. That's okay, because the nurse made me feel like crap for calling the neuro when I should have been talking to my GP. If I had listened to her, I would still not have had antivirals and may or may not have even gotten nerve pain meds.

No freaking words. This very topic was my first post in this thread. The quality of healthcare has gone down and there really are no words to describe the frustration and fear when one is really sick and doesn't get good medical care.


I am glad you finally got the antivirals and pain meds and did so within the critical time period.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

We are getting 12-18” of snow tomorrow but the school district expects all the kids to be online for remote learning because of COVID (whatever that even means). If you live in the northeast you know that one of the great joys being a kid is the first big snowfall and school being cancelled. There is no way in this suck a** year I’m letting some crap policy take that away from the kids.

It’s 9 days before Christmas and tomorrow my kids will be sleeping in, playing in the snow and having hot chocolate and enjoying what little magic there is this year.

You rock @YadaYadaYada !!!!

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

The antivirals are another whine! I went to urgent care (since my Dr was booked for days) which is fine because they are better than my GP anyway. But I got there after having had the rash for a week. So no antivirals. Antibiotics for secondary skin infection and told to try ibuprofen for the awful pain. Posted the misery on a support group for my MS and was met with shock that I got no nerve pain meds because shingles are so painful. Out of desperation, I called my neurologist to get nerve pain meds. Luckily I did! Either the MS or the meds I am on make the standard 72 hour window to start antivirals not apply so it was critical I start on them ASAP. I got to suffer extra pain and misery because the doctors aren't trained to understand why that 72 hour window. Anyone using their head would have seen my medical history (which we talked about) and known that my case is different than normal. That's okay, because the nurse made me feel like crap for calling the neuro when I should have been talking to my GP. If I had listened to her, I would still not have had antivirals and may or may not have even gotten nerve pain meds.

Good you got help in the end, but truly

 

[TooPatient]

No freaking words. This very topic was my first post in this thread. The quality of healthcare has gone down and there really are no words to describe the frustration and fear when one is really sick and doesn't get good medical care.


I am glad you finally got the antivirals and pain meds and did so within the critical time period.

No pain meds. I was told to call and the on call Dr would send the prescription if I really needed. It eases enough I just skipped them.

 

[PreRaphaelite]

After my entire family ignored my birthday again (one of those big significant birthdays that people buy a car for, or a trip to Paris for, and ends in a zero, you know?) and didn’t bother even sending a text for thanksgiving, as well as many other slights on top of that, I have concluded that these relationships are all one-sided and will never be healthy. All the help I have given over the years, all the time I’ve spent, all the effort, wasted. I’ve had to re-examine years (decades even) of interaction, and have only just now realized that it was all meaningless. It wasn’t mutual. I was busting my *ss giving love to people who don’t love me.

I’m done. The relationships are over.

They say friends are the family we choose. And on that front, I’m happy. I’ve built loose but sweet friendships with work colleagues, and happy relationships with several non-family people, and those are all just as strong as ever. I’ve got the PS community to chat with about bling, and the gaming community to fill Saturday nights with hilarious co-op play streamed live on the internet. As far as friends and associates, I have no complaints.

But my family relationships are toast.

Covid didn‘t create the rift. In a way, Covid helped me see clearly for the first time in a long while.

 

[diamondhoarder]

I'm sorry and I don't know if you are ready to hear this and I am not taking it lightly to say but you are better off without "friends" like this. It's egregious enough to throw a big party when Covid is on the rise and infection rates in your area keep getting higher but to me, the icing on that cake is her actually blowing up at you for showing good sense. And you were polite about it too. That's the behavior that would (for me) be the one that broke that proverbial camel's back.

With friends like that you don't need enemies as the saying goes.
I am sorry and stay safe and be well.

Thanks Missy I have kind of concluded that myself. Even my 14 year daughter said anyone who treats you like that is not a real friend. I was reeling from her reaction to begin with, but now I'm just plain angry at her selfishness. Luckily I have other closer and more sensible friends who I will be looking forward to spending time with in 2021 as and when it's safe.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

After my entire family ignored my birthday again (one of those big significant birthdays that people buy a car for, or a trip to Paris for, and ends in a zero, you know?) and didn’t bother even sending a text for thanksgiving, as well as many other slights on top of that, I have concluded that these relationships are all one-sided and will never be healthy. All the help I have given over the years, all the time I’ve spent, all the effort, wasted. I’ve had to re-examine years (decades even) of interaction, and have only just now realized that it was all meaningless. It wasn’t mutual. I was busting my *ss giving love to people who don’t love me.

I’m done. The relationships are over.

They say friends are the family we choose. And on that front, I’m happy. I’ve built loose but sweet friendships with work colleagues, and happy relationships with several non-family people, and those are all just as strong as ever. I’ve got the PS community to chat with about bling, and the gaming community to fill Saturday nights with hilarious co-op play streamed live on the internet. As far as friends and associates, I have no complaints.

But my family relationships are toast.

Covid didn‘t create the rift. In a way, Covid helped me see clearly for the first time in a long while.

Very sad, very sorry to read this. Sometimes good people have really wretched families.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@PreRaphaelite, some families really suck, no better way to put it, so sorry you have to experience it. I’m in the same boat except I have no family because they act like I don’t exist! I figure that living a good life with people that do care was giving them all the big middle finger.

So find your tribe and give them the same send off because you are a great person IMO and deserve better than the family you’ve been given.

 

[elle_71125]

I love me a good rant thread. Let’s see...

We‘re having a big snowstorm tomorrow and my boss wants me to call before I come in (in case he wants to tell me to stay home). That’s all well and good but I get up at 5:30 to start getting ready for work and I can’t justify texting him that early. So I have to plan on getting up early and doing all my girly primping for the possibility that I may not even have to leave my house. Ugh!

I’ve wanted to renovate our house for about 5 years now. My DH has a couple contractors in the family and he doesn’t want to source outside help because he thinks we’ll get more bang for our buck. That’s totally fine. Who doesn’t want to make their dollar work harder? But....despite me asking a million and one times, the family contractor never seems to make it over to our house to give us a price. I’m insanely frustrated with my husband for not making it a priority. I’m just trying to make the house look nicer, dammit!

This last one is a rant against the laws of nature. Why the hell does every one of my fur babies need to die in some sucky fashion? Two with cancer. One with some unknown, incredibly fast illness (like two days). Is it too much to ask that one of them passes away peacefully in their sleep after a long healthy life? Is it?

 

[PreRaphaelite]

@PreRaphaelite, some families really suck, no better way to put it, so sorry you have to experience it. I’m in the same boat except I have no family because they act like I don’t exist! I figure that living a good life with people that do care was giving them all the big middle finger.

So find your tribe and give them the same send off because you are a great person IMO and deserve better than the family you’ve been given.

Thanks so much. I know you understand!

On an unrelated note, the euthanasia doctor (home visit) is $350 and she’s all set up and on stand by for my beloved cat Taja, who is 17 and nearing the end. Taja has an appointment for veterinary blood work & physical exam on Saturday and that will let us know where we stand. We don’t trust the doctor because we’ve been misled by him before (when 3 years ago he said she had terminal cancer when she did not - argh), but I do trust the lab to do reliable reporting on her vitals, and I can compare the new results with the continuum of test results over the last two years.... I don’t like the doc but we’re working with what we have. I trust the data.

Knowing that I will be able to do the right thing for Taja is enough to keep me going for the next few weeks. My birthday present was that she is still here. My Xmas present is that she will be carried across the bridge without fear or pain.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

I love me a good rant thread. Let’s see...

We‘re having a big snowstorm tomorrow and my boss wants me to call before I come in (in case he wants to tell me to stay home). That’s all well and good but I get up at 5:30 to start getting ready for work and I can’t justify texting him that early. So I have to plan on getting up early and doing all my girly primping for the possibility that I may not even have to leave my house. Ugh!

I’ve wanted to renovate our house for about 5 years now. My DH has a couple contractors in the family and he doesn’t want to source outside help because he thinks we’ll get more bang for our buck. That’s totally fine. Who doesn’t want to make their dollar work harder? But....despite me asking a million and one times, the family contractor never seems to make it over to our house to give us a price. I’m insanely frustrated with my husband for not making it a priority. I’m just trying to make the house look nicer, dammit!

This last one is a rant against the laws of nature. Why the hell does every one of my fur babies need to die in some sucky fashion? Two with cancer. One with some unknown, incredibly fast illness (like two days). Is it too much to ask that one of them passes away peacefully in their sleep after a long healthy life? Is it?

Text him at 6. He asked you to, then with any luck, go back to bed.
Get an outside contractor in for a price. Might move DH off dead center.
No remedy for the last one. I have five horses and how many cats buried on this property and not much more room in my heart and liver for grief. The last cat is a PITA but I know I'll be a mess. The last horse is the one I delivered. She's going to kill me.
Your pets had you to care for them and nurse them thru illness, and to make that final terrible decision. A lot of people are not that fortunate. Most of us, pets included, come to a bad end.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

So sorry about your kitty @PreRaphaelite!

 

[Cozystitches]

Gotta love a good rant thread...I've spent my day reading these and am saddened by many of the posts Mine seems trivial...but here goes:

I love presents. Well...I REALLY love getting them. Getting packages (that I've ordered and paid for) is great presents for me too, and I love them!

Long whiny story ahead:
Our house is old....well...1950ish. The water line was all wonky (going through the neighbor's yard) and so we finally got a loan to get it fixed. Yay! But pricey. So hubby was like, well I guess that's our Christmas present

Eldest daughter needed a car to get her to classes. We gave her mine, which meant that we had no down payment for my new one....so again...no presents

My computer was giving me fits. I looked online and ugh expensive. Hubby finds a good deal, and says well here's your Christmas present. A computer that I need for work...

Now...all these things are great. I'm thankful that I have a new water line (and filters), and thankful that I have a nice car and computer as these are NEEDS. But for me Christmas has been more about the fun things...

The reason for this rant: hubs ordered himself fancy coffees (he has a nesspresso) to the tune of $150! :O AND he'll be getting another shipment soon....sigh

I know, in the grand scheme of things this is petty, but I"m sad. I want to just up and order things and get those fun things in the mail. Not the things that I need. Ok...still whiny.

 

[derbygal]

@PreRaphaelite I am so sorry about your sweet cat. We lost our favorite cat boy during the worst early days of the lockdown and the vet refused to let us be with him in the office in the end. I'll never get over that. I pray your baby has some peaceful days ahead, full of love with you.

 

[TooPatient]

Gotta love a good rant thread...I've spent my day reading these and am saddened by many of the posts Mine seems trivial...but here goes:

I love presents. Well...I REALLY love getting them. Getting packages (that I've ordered and paid for) is great presents for me too, and I love them!

Long whiny story ahead:
Our house is old....well...1950ish. The water line was all wonky (going through the neighbor's yard) and so we finally got a loan to get it fixed. Yay! But pricey. So hubby was like, well I guess that's our Christmas present

Eldest daughter needed a car to get her to classes. We gave her mine, which meant that we had no down payment for my new one....so again...no presents

My computer was giving me fits. I looked online and ugh expensive. Hubby finds a good deal, and says well here's your Christmas present. A computer that I need for work...

Now...all these things are great. I'm thankful that I have a new water line (and filters), and thankful that I have a nice car and computer as these are NEEDS. But for me Christmas has been more about the fun things...

The reason for this rant: hubs ordered himself fancy coffees (he has a nesspresso) to the tune of $150! :O AND he'll be getting another shipment soon....sigh

I know, in the grand scheme of things this is petty, but I"m sad. I want to just up and order things and get those fun things in the mail. Not the things that I need. Ok...still whiny.

Never let your frustrations, whines, complaints, etc feel trivial! That reminds me of a massive complaint I have....

Why do my problems have to be compared to other people? My problems are real problems to me and that is all that matters. This goes for health issues (yes, it is "just" MS and not cancer), broken things (my espresso machine is a nice to have and isn't critical like a washing machine), and everything else. I am so tired of feeling like my problems or discomforts have to be bad enough to share with people. Of course I also have to watch that because so many people hate to hear anything too bad because that is just stressful. Having to keep everything bottled in because it is too trivial compared to what others are going through or too serious so too much of a burden to share is aggravating. I mean, what really falls in that happy middle where it is "deserving" of being talked about.

 

[Matata]

I am so tired of feeling like my problems or discomforts have to be bad enough to share with people. Of course I also have to watch that because so many people hate to hear anything too bad because that is just stressful. Having to keep everything bottled in because it is too trivial compared to what others are going through or too serious so too much of a burden to share is aggravating. I mean, what really falls in that happy middle where it is "deserving" of being talked about.

That's why I started this thread and why I wrote those rules. I hope this is a thread where people come to kvetch about hang nails or papercuts if that's what is bothering them. Doesn't have to be soul crushing. No judgement allowed here.

Rule #3 is to prevent people offering consolation to some posters whose circumstances resonate while others get no response. It can set up unconscious comparison. Sometimes a well intentioned response might be perceived to the receiver as rude or mean. Ya know, like someone saying to a widow or widower at their spouse's funeral "don't worry, you'll find love again."

 

[TooPatient]

That's why I started this thread and why I wrote those rules. I hope this is a thread where people come to kvetch about hang nails or papercuts if that's what is bothering them. Doesn't have to be soul crushing. No judgement allowed here.

Rule #3 is to prevent people offering consolation to some posters whose circumstances resonate while others get no response. It can set up unconscious comparison. Sometimes a well intentioned response might be perceived to the receiver as rude or mean. Ya know, like someone saying to a widow or widower at their spouse's funeral "don't worry, you'll find love again."

I love the thread and think the rules are awesome! They address so many of the issues that tend to keep people from feeling they can share.

 

[Cozystitches]

Never let your frustrations, whines, complaints, etc feel trivial! That reminds me of a massive complaint I have....

Why do my problems have to be compared to other people? My problems are real problems to me and that is all that matters. This goes for health issues (yes, it is "just" MS and not cancer), broken things (my espresso machine is a nice to have and isn't critical like a washing machine), and everything else. I am so tired of feeling like my problems or discomforts have to be bad enough to share with people. Of course I also have to watch that because so many people hate to hear anything too bad because that is just stressful. Having to keep everything bottled in because it is too trivial compared to what others are going through or too serious so too much of a burden to share is aggravating. I mean, what really falls in that happy middle where it is "deserving" of being talked about.

Thank you <3
And thank you @Matata for starting this thread

 

[seaurchin]

I'M F-ING SICK OF THIS F-ING PANDEMIC!!!

 

[yssie]

Thanks so much. I know you understand!

On an unrelated note, the euthanasia doctor (home visit) is $350 and she’s all set up and on stand by for my beloved cat Taja, who is 17 and nearing the end. Taja has an appointment for veterinary blood work & physical exam on Saturday and that will let us know where we stand. We don’t trust the doctor because we’ve been misled by him before (when 3 years ago he said she had terminal cancer when she did not - argh), but I do trust the lab to do reliable reporting on her vitals, and I can compare the new results with the continuum of test results over the last two years.... I don’t like the doc but we’re working with what we have. I trust the data.

Knowing that I will be able to do the right thing for Taja is enough to keep me going for the next few weeks. My birthday present was that she is still here. My Xmas present is that she will be carried across the bridge without fear or pain.

::HUGS::
Ain’t nothing gonna make that hurt less.
When Taja’s time to leave does come - please do treat yourself to something totally selfish and materialistic and indulgent.
Not an ounce of guilt.
Hope I’m not breaking thread rules! 2020 has been wretched on the furbaby front out here too.

 

[Karl_K]

I think im to chill.... I had a real good grump but at the time could not post it...
Now I can post it im like meh it wasn't that bad.

One I can post is about someone I know planning a huge Christmas with people driving in from 4 states and one of the people is just being released from quarantine from having covid.
It just makes my blood boil.

 

[ean]

I hate hate hate when people invalidate my struggles because I’m young.

Your body aches? “Oh wait until you’re older” apparently despite having scoliosis and lifting and handling dogs all day I can’t have back pain because I’m not old enough.

You’re tired? “Oh, wait until you have children” Apparently if you’re childless you can’t be tired. Sorry I didn’t get the memo.

Apparently everything I’m going through doesn’t count because I’m *young* and I have to wait until I pass a certain age for my concerns to be valid.

 

[ean]

Oh, yes, and these people who seem to only have a social media account to complain about their children 24/7.

And I’m not talking about the occasional complaining, I’m talking about people who seemingly have dedicated accounts just to make posts and videos saying how horrible raising children are and making careers out of these types of videos because they seem to have a huge following and they’re being glorified because of it. NOBODY forced you to reproduce!!! And if your kids are so horrible that you feel the need to shame them 24/7 for clout on social media, maybe you need to look at who is raising them.

 

[missy]

This last one is a rant against the laws of nature. Why the hell does every one of my fur babies need to die in some sucky fashion? Two with cancer. One with some unknown, incredibly fast illness (like two days). Is it too much to ask that one of them passes away peacefully in their sleep after a long healthy life? Is it?

This. So true. Why indeed.

 

[missy]

@PreRaphaelite I am so sorry about your sweet baby.

 

[missy]

I hate hate hate when people invalidate my struggles because I’m young.

Your body aches? “Oh wait until you’re older” apparently despite having scoliosis and lifting and handling dogs all day I can’t have back pain because I’m not old enough.

You’re tired? “Oh, wait until you have children” Apparently if you’re childless you can’t be tired. Sorry I didn’t get the memo.

Apparently everything I’m going through doesn’t count because I’m *young* and I have to wait until I pass a certain age for my concerns to be valid.

That’s on them. Those people are self involved individuals. Nobody should compare their hardships. We all matter and I’m sorry for your struggles. (((Hugs))).