ladies -- need help with teenage girl stuff

[packrat]

I got a cup a few years ago after reading threads on here and still haven't figured out how to work the dumb thing.

And yes, the Pearl ones, they have the really soft/smooth applicator-the light ones of those are what I use.

I thought about the whole dry removal/inserting another thing and wasn't sure how to put it, so I'm glad someone else did!

 

[momhappy]

In all honesty I would show her a diva cup or something similar. Tampons aren't the most healthy thing to be using and the materials that they are made out of aren't good for you either.

There are many different types of cups but the diva is the one I use. They are good for up to 12 hours-you wash them and empty them (I know sounds gross but its not bad) and they are much more comfortable and better for your health than tampons. I wish someone had talked to me about them when I was a teenager.

When used properly, tampons are not unhealthy. Millions of women use them every year with no complications or adverse effects. I have nothing against diva cups (they are a nice option for some women), but I suppose that you could argue that inserting any foreign object/material/device into the vagina could potentially be unhealthy on some level for various reasons (diva cup included).

 

[lyra]

In all honesty I would show her a diva cup or something similar. Tampons aren't the most healthy thing to be using and the materials that they are made out of aren't good for you either.

There are many different types of cups but the diva is the one I use. They are good for up to 12 hours-you wash them and empty them (I know sounds gross but its not bad) and they are much more comfortable and better for your health than tampons. I wish someone had talked to me about them when I was a teenager.

I had to talk my older daughter into trying cups after I got hooked. She was so skeptical at first. Now, several years later, she agrees there's no looking back. Wish they had been available 40 years ago! She even talked her best friend into using one. It took her a couple of years, but now she is also onboard and happy.

I agree, the learning curve for cups is more suitable to a young woman (or any woman) who is already comfortable with her body, and is well versed on her anatomy. That information could come from a doctor/gyn, or information available on Google and YouTube. I would never look back. I don't know a single woman who has successfully used cups, who would ever go back to tampons. Tampons are quite abrasive and drying, and can cause small tears. Cups have none of those negative features. But to each his own. Most college age girls are using cups nowadays. Perfect for travel, camping, swimming, etc.

 

[Paz]

Someone may have mentioned this and I missed it. If so, I apologize for the repeat. If she is trying to insert a tampon very shortly after one has been removed that was not saturated there may be a problem. Pulling a mostly dry tampon out can be painful. If there is very light flow that may cause discomfort. In the beginning most find a lubricant helpful. Back in the day vaseline was it. That may no longer be advisable. I am not up on whether that is now frowned upon since there are other lubricants.

I went through a BOX of tampons my first try at 15, and everything was so raw and irritated that I didn't try again for 2 years! I found them incredibly uncomfortable, but had to try them again my junior year in academy if I wanted to go snorkeling with my class in the Dominican Republic (1 fun day after 2 weeks of mission work). The only tampon I was able to insert without discomfort was ob, no applicator. I was able to FEEL how far in it was, with applicators I could never tell.

Tampons were always uncomfortable for me, but ob allowed me to do water sports with my friends if I wanted to and then I used pads the rest of the time. It took many years and finally having sex, for tampons to truly be comfortable to me.

Big hugs to "A" and kudos to you Too Patient, for being such kind and caring stepmom! You're doing a great job with A ♡

 

[JulieN]

Ok... I did not show just show my sister how to use her first one, I did it for her (at her request, of course.) Yes, we were both kinda icked out, but on the scale of human body ickiness, it is like a .5/10.

Why not just ask her if she wants you to do it one time so she knows how to do it right? If it comes out when she pees it is not in far enough. I had no one to show me, and it took me lots of missed tries because I couldn't find the introitus despite having mirrors and looking at pictures, and then it took me a couple of times to know how far in I had to push it. All in all, it was about a year from when I decided I wanted to use them, to when I was successfully using them.

 

[TooPatient]

Thanks all for the continuing support. We've had lots to learn together over the last year and are still running into new things. Her mom (and aunt) continue to bring moments of chaos to life. It is sad to say, but FI and I are both basing our parenting on what we learned didn't work for us when we were younger. We are trying our best to give her the support and opportunities that neither of us ever got in life.

One of the things we are struggling with is her mom's issues with certain things. When I talked with her yesterday, she waivered between massive anxiety and upset about the tickets she already bought ("You have to do something! She HAS to go in the water!") to swinging over to how horrible tampons are (toxic shock syndrome, "A" is too young to know to change them, she (the mom) has NEVER used such a thing, it is WRONG to touch that part of the body) and then back again.

"A" made it through the day with them and is back home now. She's got a little art project to get done before bed and is super excited to go back to school tomorrow. All of her friends have lunch together and she can't wait to see them again. She is also enjoying her classes and likes her teachers!

So no tampons until she is good and ready!
I'm hoping she'll forget all about them for now and just go back to them when she can be relaxed and not feel rushed.

 

[House Cat]

TP, bless you for helping out this kid!
She is so lucky you are part of her life.

This. <3

 

[ruby59]

JMO, of course, but her mom seems a bit immature - putting her needs before her daughter's. I am sure we have all been there, plans to go somewhere and our children get ill last minute. It happens and you move on. It is your child's welfare that should be first priority.

And when you mentioned school starting and being with her friends, that was an "aha" moment. It is how many young girls learn new things. I am sure some of her close friends can give her great tips on how to insert them and/or reassure her that they went through the same thing.

 

[movie zombie]

TP, it is indeed a blessing that this young woman has you in her life!

 

[Snicklefritz]

Glad "A" has someone looking out for her best interests, TP Getting over these sorts of adolescent hurdles can be so stressful!