shape
carat
color
clarity

Just curious: What to say if people ask how much you paid

Karl_K

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Grandma kept her book by the telephone (yes, there was only one). I think they came from certain grocery stores.
no book for the blue chip stamps?
many people kept books for both handy.
 

GardenLady21

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Because my stuff is all antique, usually no one asks, but when they have, I've used a pretty good cover story: "oh it was my grandmother's" (or even great-grandmother's) and that's territory that no one seems to want to press further into. If your things are old, try that. It works!

I've totally done that and it works!
 

Karl_K

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Where did the blue ones come from? She was in the Twin Cities area.
It depended on which chains where in the area i guess.
I recall my mom having both in the mid to late 70s in N. IL.
Schools often had stamp drives.
Getting them was a lot harder than getting money from people and more than one husband felt the wrath for giving them away to a kid at the door.
 

Made in London

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Are there really people rude enough to ask that? In the U.K. that would be considered extremely impolite. Almost as bad as asking someone what is wrong with them if they mention having a doctors appointment. Or asking what someone’s salary is. Just inconceivably impertinent.

I'm in the UK & my sister in law asked ne outright how much my upgraded e-ring cost! I was so shocked that I blurted out the price tago_O
 

missy

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A couple of replies you could use.
Do you want to take the high or low road?


Personally I have been asked the question but only decades ago. As I get older I guess I get more formidable LOL IDK because no one has asked for many many years now.
I don't remember my answer at the time but I did what felt right to me then.
I don't mind sharing with good friends and close family. Acquaintances-no way.
You have to do what is comfortable for you. Do not feel obligated to answer. Do not get uncomfortable. That is a rude question by coworkers or acquaintances or even good friends if you don't have that kind of relationship. People can be nervy. Do not feel you have to respond in any way. You can also just leave it in silence. They should feel awkward. Not you.

But here are some options if you do want to respond to the question how much did your ring cost?


Why do you ask?
Exactly what we wanted to spend.
That's only for my dh, my accountant and me to know.
That's between my dh and me.
That's a very rude question.
I'm sorry, that's too personal.
 

Slick1

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I like Seinfeld’s answer..

Question: “How much did you pay for this?”
Answer: “I paid what it cost!” :lol:

 

stracci2000

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I've been asked a few times what my
diamond ring cost. After the initial shock of the very rude question, my answer has been "this diamond was in my old engagement ring, and I had the stone reset".
This usually stops any further questions.
Once, a co-worker asking the question was a guy who spent $$$$$ on a Harley with all the accessories. To each his own, I guess.

A few times I have been asked if my diamond(s) are real. If I know the person, I say "Of course!". Yes, it's a rude question but I live in an area where most e-rings are .50 or less, so I think people are genuinely curious.
And co-workers tend to get nosy if they've known you for a while.
 
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YadaYadaYada

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I don’t recall anyone asking how much I’ve paid for any of my jewelry. Then again I don’t get out much so there’s that.

Funny story, years ago I was at a holiday gathering with DH’s family, I had on a tennis bracelet I bought from a department store. The bracelet was silver and CZ but rather believable, one of the cousins grabbed my wrist and asked if it was real. Nope I told her, I paid like $25 for it ten years ago.

Maybe they just assume the better stuff is fake, fine by me. If they knew the truth they would definitely judge and gossip and there isn’t enough wine at holidays for that malarkey.
 

Sprinkles&Stones

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I am really loving this discussion!

I have a question though,

Let’s say that a PSer runs into another PSer out in public. Or a jewelry lover runs into another jewelry lover (but they don’t know it cuz they are strangers in the real world). Let’s say I see that person wearing a GORGEOUS piece that I want to know more about. Vendor? CAD/hand forged? Specs? Tell me about the design process!! Etc etc.

Assuming I don’t ask “hey you, how much did that big rock cost”, what would be a appropriate way to express your delight in someone’s piece because you too are a jewelry lover and would love to strike up a conversation about their wearable art?
 

PreRaphaelite

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I am really loving this discussion!

I have a question though,

Let’s say that a PSer runs into another PSer out in public. Or a jewelry lover runs into another jewelry lover (but they don’t know it cuz they are strangers in the real world). Let’s say I see that person wearing a GORGEOUS piece that I want to know more about. Vendor? CAD/hand forged? Specs? Tell me about the design process!! Etc etc.

Assuming I don’t ask “hey you, how much did that big rock cost”, what would be a appropriate way to express your delight in someone’s piece because you too are a jewelry lover and would love to strike up a conversation about their wearable art?

I've wondered about this recently - and I think the best question we can ask is "I love your (ring/earrings/necklace) - Are you on Pricescope?"

If they say no, well maybe they should be.
If they say yes... you have a new bestie right in front of you.

win/win
 

Sprinkles&Stones

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I've wondered about this recently - and I think the best question we can ask is "I love your (ring/earrings/necklace) - Are you on Pricescope?"

If they say no, well maybe they should be.
If they say yes... you have a new bestie right in front of you.

win/win
Love this! Glad someone else has wondered the same thing. I don’t want to step on toes but I can’t pass up an opportunity to chat about jewelry, haha!
 

jaysonsmom

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I am really loving this discussion!

I have a question though,

Let’s say that a PSer runs into another PSer out in public. Or a jewelry lover runs into another jewelry lover (but they don’t know it cuz they are strangers in the real world). Let’s say I see that person wearing a GORGEOUS piece that I want to know more about. Vendor? CAD/hand forged? Specs? Tell me about the design process!! Etc etc.

Assuming I don’t ask “hey you, how much did that big rock cost”, what would be a appropriate way to express your delight in someone’s piece because you too are a jewelry lover and would love to strike up a conversation about their wearable art?

I have had a local jeweler ( where I take my rings in for resizing or cleaning) ask me where I get my exquisite rings She is genuinely intrigued by my custom-cut LG AVR, which is mixing modern technology with an “old cut”, and surprised that I have a couple custom made pieces, made from scratch with CADs etc. She asked if she could photograph my rings to show her brother (the actual bench jeweler). She has never heard of CvB or david Klass or some of the designers, whose names are frequently thrown around on PS. Most of the customers just purchase jewelry “stock” from brick and mortar stores.

She is actually someone who has asked “how much do people pay for custom cut diamonds?” And she has also asked me how much designer band from CvB would cost brand new? I know she is not trying to be rude, but genuinely interested in jewelry and in learning about a whole new type of clientele that we have on PS.
 

kb1gra

Brilliant_Rock
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Jul 6, 2012
Messages
1,056
I am really loving this discussion!

I have a question though,

Let’s say that a PSer runs into another PSer out in public. Or a jewelry lover runs into another jewelry lover (but they don’t know it cuz they are strangers in the real world). Let’s say I see that person wearing a GORGEOUS piece that I want to know more about. Vendor? CAD/hand forged? Specs? Tell me about the design process!! Etc etc.

Assuming I don’t ask “hey you, how much did that big rock cost”, what would be a appropriate way to express your delight in someone’s piece because you too are a jewelry lover and would love to strike up a conversation about their wearable art?

I personally just say, "wow, I love your ring/necklace/bracelet - did you have it made?" which opens for someone to say it was a custom piece or respond with "no, I got it at X."

As for the original question, I usually only get "oh my gosh, I love your ring!" and occasionally the passive aggressive follower "he must love you very much!" to which I say yes, he does! I never understand what people expect me to say, "no, he's kind of a jerk?"
 

stracci2000

Ideal_Rock
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Jun 26, 2007
Messages
5,995
I am really loving this discussion!

I have a question though,

Let’s say that a PSer runs into another PSer out in public. Or a jewelry lover runs into another jewelry lover (but they don’t know it cuz they are strangers in the real world). Let’s say I see that person wearing a GORGEOUS piece that I want to know more about. Vendor? CAD/hand forged? Specs? Tell me about the design process!! Etc etc.

Assuming I don’t ask “hey you, how much did that big rock cost”, what would be a appropriate way to express your delight in someone’s piece because you too are a jewelry lover and would love to strike up a conversation about their wearable art?

I once saw a lady in the supermarket wearing a gorgeous strand of large flame pearls.
I gushed over them, and we spoke about some other pieces she was wearing, as well.
Well the she wanted to go for coffee, and she wanted my contact info. I foolishly said yes, immediately regretting it.
It turned out that she was a life coach.
I ignored her emails, and we never got together because I was pretty sure she would be trying to sell me her services.
Months later, she showed up at a holiday party, on the arm of an acquaintance.
Wow, that was awkward!
Now I am very careful when observing the jewelry of strangers!
 

bludiva

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 23, 2017
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2,970
i think my husband has gotten more of the rude or weird comments. an acquaintance asked him, whoa you not telling us something? implying he's sitting on some kind of big pot of money maybe? my ER wasn't cheap but not super extravagant either--it's just different and bigger than most people wear around here. the most awkward was two of his relatives looking at it then giving each other a look which suggested to me they'd been talking about it or him.

but most people who've asked about it --friends, family, strangers, are just interested in the design, which i am always happy to talk about. =)
 

MrsBlue

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2013
Messages
527
The only person who ever asked got weird and angry when I answered.

Usually I just say, "Oh I got this ages ago at a pawnshop. I don't even remember."

My pieces are relatively small and it's believeable enough for my social circle, especially since people know that I'm generally conservative with my spending habits.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jan 11, 2006
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57,950
You may get initial comments when you first wear it, but honestly, like others have said, most people don't notice or care about the jewelry other people wear! I think it is incredibly rude for someone to ask the cost of a diamond ring, so a vague answer like "It was a gift" or "I don't recall" is all that needs to be said. His friends may be more likely to ask him, because they are intimidated that he bought such a large stone. So he does need to be prepared with a clever answer such as "I had a garage sale and used the proceeds to buy it" or something better like "It looks real doesn't it?!" Or the truth..."None of your business!!!"
 

MamaBee

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I’m veering off topic just a bit…I know some people on here may disagree with me..I have three friends that are not into fine jewelry. They also don’t have a lot of disposable cash. They have engagement rings but mostly wear costume jewelry..One of them considers herself a minimalist. She has an engagement ring that she only wears for functions. It‘s very small but that’s what she likes..truly. I think it’s around .25..I love it. It’s very sparkly..One friend has a really pretty house at the beach..It’s a short drive but not on the beach. They struggled to get this house because they didn’t plan well for retirement. It’s a dream for them to live there. They have to watch their pennies. She has a small marquise that has absolutely no sparkle at all. The other friend has a very small round that's also very nice. Her husband purchased a heart necklace for her with three small round stones to make up the heart. She never takes it off. He could have given her a pebble on a chain and she would love it just as much. The diamonds sparkle like mad…They planned well but they don’t have a lot of extra cash. I would feel really uncomfortable wearing my 3.01 ACA to lunch with them. I leave it at home and wear Ashlee..It’s a little over two carats but she’s an antique asscher with a lot of junk in the trunk. She appears smaller than two carats. The first time I wore it to lunch it was all the buzz about how it was huge…Did I just get it? They have money problems. I don’t feel comfortable wearing all my bling. I lied and said it was my grandma’s diamond which I inherited. That went over pretty well. I hate lying but otherwise I wouldn’t wear any jewelry. So after all my blabber if someone asked me how much paid for Winter I would lie or come back with something funny..I wouldn’t tell them.
 

kenny

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Do you think it's equally rude to ask about specs? Carat, color, clarity, etc?

No, not rude at all if the person and the situation is not otherwise a security concern like alone at night in a parking lot.
I welcome educating people on this unusual subject on which there is widespread ignorance and misinformation.
 
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Kim N

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Do you think it's equally rude to ask about specs? Carat, color, clarity, etc?

Unless I was chatting with another PSer, I would feel uncomfortable answering. I recently got asked, "How many carats is that?!" and I just said I couldn't remember.
 

kb1gra

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Unless I was chatting with another PSer, I would feel uncomfortable answering. I recently got asked, "How many carats is that?!" and I just said I couldn't remember.

I just say I’m not sure.

I do wear my big(ish) ring to work, I’m in a senior position and I busted my a$$ to get here so if anyone wants to think something about my ring I let them. My friends don’t really care and a lot of them don’t wear their rings - and I just wear an eternity band a lot of the time when out with my friends.
My husband is actually the one who wants me to wear my ring around people. He wants people to know he treats me well. I think this is weird but he comes from more traditional values than I do.
 

peacechick

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I agree with this.

So, on that tangent, I went to "high school" that started in seventh grade originally in middle of nowhere PA. We moved to another state that had traditional high school starting at 9th grade.

In that middle of nowhere school, they taught more about "life" than I got anywhere else from a school setting for the most part. We all had to take home economics and at least one shop class. Everyone learned how to mend clothes, sew buttons, use a sewing machine, follow a pattern for a simple sewing project, and use basic tools safely in shop. You also learned how to use cooking tools safely, how to make yourself basic food, etc. Really important life skills for basically everyone.

In that same home eco class, we were taught how to balance a checkbook, how to to a tax return, and how to doa monthly budget, with our "income" and having to allocate pots of money to our expenses, including debt and figure out how work the numbers.

My mom made me save money every month growing up for holiday gifts. I had to save my allowance or birthday/report card/tooth fairy money over the year to buy holiday gifts for family and friends. A bank in same middle of nowhere PA had something called a "Christmas Club" account and I had one from something like 6 years old that she helped me set up- and I had to balance the register of the savings deposits plus the tiny interest.

I'm 40 very shortly here, but that "old school" type of teaching doesn't exist in many places now. A lot of parents don't teach about financial literacy either. Financial literacy is so important. I remember when I took out student loans for law school, we had to meet with a financial admin at the law school and talk about the loan amount, the rate, how long it will take to pay off etc,, before the school would do their part to the submit the paperwork. That was so smart. I have student debt, but it is manageable. Debt doesn't have to be bad or evil- but you have to teach people how to use it. My student loans are locked in at a very low rate and I chose to not pay the federal loans off early. I can leverage my money by investing it, both in my 401 and my after tax contributions, and it will earn me more.

I agree that financial literacy is not taught and it's really a shame. Starting early, when kids are 12/13 really makes the most sense, if not before. It is really important.

Sorry for the tangent, OP.

What a wonderful school you went to, that taught such useful skills. Whoever ran that school and hired those teachers must have been so enlightened. We are about the same age and I think this “old school” teaching was more a rarity than the norm even back then. My husband went to a small town high school which did nothing for him. I’m still angry with them. He was the smartest kid in high school and his parents went bankrupt in his senior year, leaving him with no money for college. Not a lick of advice or help to apply for grants or scholarships. Nobody cared. It left him with such a bad taste that he refuses to even consider living in anything but a city now.
 

Bravissimo

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I just say I’m not sure.

I do wear my big(ish) ring to work, I’m in a senior position and I busted my a$$ to get here so if anyone wants to think something about my ring I let them. My friends don’t really care and a lot of them don’t wear their rings - and I just wear an eternity band a lot of the time when out with my friends.
My husband is actually the one who wants me to wear my ring around people. He wants people to know he treats me well. I think this is weird but he comes from more traditional values than I do.

If he worked hard to pay for it then I can see his point.
 

missy

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Do you think it's equally rude to ask about specs? Carat, color, clarity, etc?

Depends on who is asking.
It's similar to the how much did you pay question.
It is a question where one can make judgements for better or worse.
Just like asking how much did it cost.

So same answer. If my loved ones ask and I feel comfortable answering sure.
And I will always use my common sense. If I feel OK answering I will and if I don't I won't.
It really is that simple for me.

I remember the first ring Greg proposed to me with. That weekend we went to our favorite ice cream store in Brooklyn.
The young adult behind the counter went crazy. He was OMG that is the biggest diamond I ever saw. It's gorgeous. Yada yada yada. We knew him from years of weekends getting ice cream there. He was a sweet kid. I knew he was genuinely excited for us and meant only to be complimentary. He asked with great enthusiasm how many carats is it?!!! LOL it was my first how big is the diamond question. :lol: I sheepishly told him (knowing he had zero clue how much diamonds cost so wasn't worried about him making judgments that way) and he was wow. It was an overall happy experience because he was overjoyed for us as we were. It was fine for him to ask that but only because he was genuinely happy for us and young and naive and didn't mean anything not nice by asking unlike some people. And you just know who those people are. At least I do.
 

Made in London

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A couple of replies you could use.
Do you want to take the high or low road?


Personally I have been asked the question but only decades ago. As I get older I guess I get more formidable LOL IDK because no one has asked for many many years now.
I don't remember my answer at the time but I did what felt right to me then.
I don't mind sharing with good friends and close family. Acquaintances-no way.
You have to do what is comfortable for you. Do not feel obligated to answer. Do not get uncomfortable. That is a rude question by coworkers or acquaintances or even good friends if you don't have that kind of relationship. People can be nervy. Do not feel you have to respond in any way. You can also just leave it in silence. They should feel awkward. Not you.

But here are some options if you do want to respond to the question how much did your ring cost?


Why do you ask?
Exactly what we wanted to spend.
That's only for my dh, my accountant and me to know.
That's between my dh and me.
That's a very rude question.
I'm sorry, that's too personal.

I'd choose "That's between my dh & me" :hand:
 
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