JFF: Did you kiss your husband/wife before marriage?

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie


Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.

I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

HAHA.. well my first time was with someone experienced and it sucked, but I was a teen humping too soon, as you put it TGal, and so that must have mattered more than the actual viriginity. Since then I have had the good fortune to "deflower" two virgins, both men I was in love with at the time, and it was very fun indeed! But it helped that I knew what I was doing, I think. One was actually my husband, who for some unknown reason remained pure as snow (sort of) until he met me at 26 years old! We figure he can give all the sex talks to our kids because he can actually keep a straight face while telling them to wait until they meet their future spouse! Unfortunately, mommy was too much of a player in her earlier years to get away with this.

 

[sba771]

I know lots of people like this but I grew up in an Orthodox community. While I understand the reasoning behind it, I do not agree with it and it is not for me. My friends marriages are fine, but I got many phone calls (because I was the only non-religious friend) that involved many tears and frustrations during some of their first few months because certain things were just not happening naturally and what not. It is just sad when the couples are not prepared and that causes certain heart aches, but I do know they all get through it. I am a good coach to my girlfriends

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/30/2009 2:52:01 PM
Author: jas

Date: 1/30/2009 2:44:53 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 2:43:50 PM
Author: jas

Date: 1/30/2009 2:38:18 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 2:36:42 PM
Author: jas

Date: 1/30/2009 2:35:13 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 2:33:20 PM
Author: jas
I have to kiss my husband now that we''re married?

I knew those adorable boys were from the milkman!!!

I have to kiss my milkman, too?

No, no kissing the milkman! Remember what Julia Roberts said in pretty woman! You can breed with the milkman, but no kissing.

Got it. No kissing, just breeding with the milkman. All kissing, no breeding with the hubs. Once I commit that to memory, you can tell me what goes on with the UPS man.

He delivers.

So did my OB/GYN. I''m thinking corporate crossover here...like shoving my OB into a brown truck...

*goes off mumbling something about it absolutely, positively having to be there overnight*

Hee!!

Well, your packages arrived safe and sound anyway, so that''s all that matters. Never mind that there was no kissing involved during breeding. Just make sure you make it up by kissing those cuties A LOT!

 

[JulieN]

My parents. My mom''s a weirdo.

 

[iheartscience]

Yeah, I''m saving my kisses for marriage...it''s been hard the last 6 years, but I know it will be worth it!

Kidding, of course...but I didn''t kiss on the first date-does that count?!!

I will say that I think not kissing/making out/whatever before marriage sometimes leads young religious kids to marry way too early. A friend of mine got married super young and I know a big part of it was wanting to experience all that. I actually told him to please just have sex with his fiancee and wait to get married, but he wouldn''t budge!

 

[poshpepper]

Yes I kissed my hubby before we got married

I can say that this approach does not mirror my own but I can respect that this was the way they were raised.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie


Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.

I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/30/2009 2:07:40 PM
Author: Linda W

Date: 1/30/2009 1:56:47 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Not only did I kiss them, I plumb wore them out

LOL LOL, same with my hubby.

you wild thing!!

 

[bebe]

Date: 1/30/2009 4:16:22 PM
Author: sba771
I know lots of people like this but I grew up in an Orthodox community. While I understand the reasoning behind it, I do not agree with it and it is not for me. My friends marriages are fine, but I got many phone calls (because I was the only non-religious friend) that involved many tears and frustrations during some of their first few months because certain things were just not happening naturally and what not. It is just sad when the couples are not prepared and that causes certain heart aches, but I do know they all get through it. I am a good coach to my girlfriends

lack of knowledge and experience has to be an issue within some of these marriages.
I knew a missionary''s son, 22yrs. old, and he had no idea how "babies were made". He was madly in
love with a girl, wanting to propose, but was clueless and scared. Kinda sad.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Well I kissed DH before marriage and much more too! Like Vesper, I am a proponent of sex before marriage (I love that statement, cracks me up!!)

Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

want ad. i''am a single female "looking for a guy with low mileage"

 

[Dee*Jay]

Date: 1/30/2009 6:49:52 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie


Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.

I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

So would virginity then be *certified* or only *certificated*?

And boy... those G/VG/EX ratings would be particularly difficult to assign without at least *some* form of testing...

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 1/30/2009 7:20:27 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 6:49:52 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie



Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.


I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

So would virginity then be *certified* or only *certificated*?


And boy... those G/VG/EX ratings would be particularly difficult to assign without at least *some* form of testing...

more importantly, if you are both virgins, is the virginity lost, or merely exchanged? Because I know who got mine, and I got his too!

 

[HollyS]

While I can ''understand'' their position, and that is was right for them, the Duggars, and others like them, are a bit on the odd side. To say the least.

All that abstinence of romantic canoodling before marriage must be why Jim-Bob can''t keep it zipped now.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 1/30/2009 3:15:08 PM
Author: trillionaire
SO and I dated for 6 months before we kissed. Call me conservative.

When we DID kiss, wowsa!

I think our society puts a high premium on romantic love, and chemistry and all that, but romance can be cultivated, and marriage as a practical social institution does not have to be romantic to be functional, and love can develop and grow over time. My friend has an arranged marriage, and he was very thankful for it. He loves his wife very much, they are very well suited for one another, and they are quite happy. They did not kiss before they got married, they barely met.

I also notice that all the folks waiting until they get married to kiss or have sex are marrying really young. That''s fine if it''s your bag, but I don''t know if it''s healthy or practical past a certain age, really. JMO, of course.

and LOL @ all the hand holding comments. SO and I have been dating for 5 yrs, and everyone at X-mas this year was giving us a hard time because we were constantly holding hands... it was totally subconscious, and quite funny when others pointed it out. I guess we are used to being by ourselves, where our touchy-feelyness goes unnoticed.

ETA: as for the comments on impotency... I love SO. I also love

. That being said, if he became impotent for whatever reason, I cannot imagine just leaving him. He would be devastated if he was impotent, and more devastated if I left. I couldn''t do that to him. Now, if he became and @$$hole because of it, I might leave, but sex is not THE most important thing in a relationship. There are other things to do to remain intimate, and we would do those things.

Thank you so much for addressing this. If sex is the only basis of a marriage, I say why bother getting married at all! Lots of things can happen, car accidents, illness, etc. that could change things. I would hope a loving spouse would stick by his or her spouse regardless. Christopher Reeve''s wife Dana was a well known example of someone who loved and supported her husband even though he was paralyzed.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/30/2009 7:20:27 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 6:49:52 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie


Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.

I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

So would virginity then be *certified* or only *certificated*?

And boy... those G/VG/EX ratings would be particularly difficult to assign without at least *some* form of testing...

that's why you need to take he/she to an independent lab to be sure all the measurements matches the certificated !!

you don't wanna end up with somebody only graded G/G/G when you were expecting EX/EX/EX or a TRIPLE IDEAL specimen.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/30/2009 7:47:11 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 7:20:27 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 6:49:52 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie


Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.

I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

So would virginity then be *certified* or only *certificated*?

And boy... those G/VG/EX ratings would be particularly difficult to assign without at least *some* form of testing...

that''s why you need to take he/she to an independent lab to be sure all the measurements match the certificated !!

you don''t wanna end up with somebody only graded G/G/G when you were expecting EX/EX/EX or a TRIPLE IDEAL specimen.

Snort.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Date: 1/30/2009 7:47:11 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 7:20:27 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 6:49:52 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie


Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.

I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

So would virginity then be *certified* or only *certificated*?

And boy... those G/VG/EX ratings would be particularly difficult to assign without at least *some* form of testing...

that's why you need to take he/she to an independent lab to be sure all the measurements matches the certificated !!

you don't wanna end up with somebody only graded G/G/G when you were expecting EX/EX/EX or a TRIPLE IDEAL specimen.

And how exactly would the return policy be exercised? I mean, don't they usually want the goods back *unmounted* and in their original condition?

 

[waxing lyrical]

I didn''t watch, but given they''re fundamentalist Baptists, that''s typical behavior or "standards." When we were Christian and IFB at that, it made complete sense. Their brand of theology is what some consider legalistic and out there.

My former pastor and his wife waited to kiss until their wedding. They "courted" for 3 years. She was 28 and he was in his early 30''s.

 

[Tuckins1]

Uh, yeah. We definitely knew what we were doing on our wedding night...

(I know, I know, i''m so bad

)

 

[MishB]

My husband and I waited for about 3 hours after we met, and that took some restraint. It was love at first sight for both of us.

 

[WishfulThinking]

Erm... yes. I can''t imagine NOT kissing someone before we married! However, that''s just me. Honestly I could care less how other people go about it. Stick with hand holding or do it like the bunnies do. Whatever!

Given who it is, though, it''s a little creepy. I''d say I should refrain from judging them but I''m sure they''d judge ME, so I''ll just say that it is quite odd to hold off on the kissing for so long and then go into bunny mode so quickly after. I understand it''s their religious beliefs and they have every right to do it, but the two things combined are certainly quite far out of the norm I imagine. Not everyone who doesn''t kiss ends up with a litter of children. The contrast is the weirdest part for me.

 

[Kelli]

My best friend all through middle school and high school was the daughter of a pastor (baptist) and NEVER even showed the slightest interest in a guy. At 21 she had still never kissed a guy. I lost contact with her (surprisingly she stopped talking to me when I started dating my fiance, after a long email about how she was praying for me since my life wasn't right with God

), and heard that she was getting married. I emailed her a long congratulations, miss you, etc. email and still nothing, even though she'd asked a mutual friend to tell me she was engaged. Last I heard, the guy never married her. He left her before the wedding, saying he was just trying to see how far he could make her go. While I think that totally SUCKS, and I'm sure she didn't deserve that kind of treatment, I think it's a good testament to how naive those kinds of people can be. Not that all of them are naive, that's certainly not what I'm saying, but somehow it just didn't surprise me that it had happened to her. I think living that way deprives you of all kinds of life experience you'd otherwise have. Not ever acknowledging that people ARE sexual creatures is pretty blinding to a person IMO.

 

[Kelli]

I guess I wanted to add that it''s not necessarily a person''s CHOICE not to have sex that I think is blinding, it''s the fact that she was also taught that french kissing is wrong because it''s arousing (WTF?!?!), that you should only have sex in the missionary position and with your hands in appropriate places, that sex is strictly for pro-creation, and that any good Christian guy will feel the same way as you do. Not the kind of education I''d want for my kids.

 

[Kelli]

And btw the dirty jokes in this thread are cracking me up!

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 1/30/2009 8:03:17 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 7:47:11 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 7:20:27 PM

Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 6:49:52 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie

Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.

I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

So would virginity then be *certified* or only *certificated*?

And boy... those G/VG/EX ratings would be particularly difficult to assign without at least *some* form of testing...

that''s why you need to take he/she to an independent lab to be sure all the measurements matches the certificated !!

you don''t wanna end up with somebody only graded G/G/G when you were expecting EX/EX/EX or a TRIPLE IDEAL specimen.

And how exactly would the return policy be exercised? I mean, don''t they usually want the goods back *unmounted* and in their original condition?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Unmounted=HILARIOUS!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/30/2009 8:03:17 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 7:47:11 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 7:20:27 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 6:49:52 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie


Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.

I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

So would virginity then be *certified* or only *certificated*?

And boy... those G/VG/EX ratings would be particularly difficult to assign without at least *some* form of testing...

that''s why you need to take he/she to an independent lab to be sure all the measurements matches the certificated !!

you don''t wanna end up with somebody only graded G/G/G when you were expecting EX/EX/EX or a TRIPLE IDEAL specimen.

And how exactly would the return policy be exercised? I mean, don''t they usually want the goods back *unmounted* and in their original condition?

Look, I just check to see if it''s well cut and performs great. I found that I didn''t need mind clean so my standards were lower.

 

[BlueSki231]

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie



Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.


I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

In this case I dunno..
They''re two EXTREMELY conservative Christians who have probably never had ANY kind of sex ed... and probably not been exposed to any kind of environment or situation in which they''d learn or pick up on what to do. Haha so if dad gave him a book that''d be great!
I''m sure they''ll figure it out.. but I doubt the first night will be anything they''ll be raving about...

I can''t imagine waiting until marriage to kiss.
Like someone else said before, I just don''t see how you can get married while you''re in the "romantic stage" of the relationship - ESPECIALLY when you aren''t even kissing each other. How can you really get to know each other when you''re overwhelmed with putting aside all your urges? You gotta get that out of the way and see what''s left when things cool down.

But hey, whatever...

 

[Deelight]

Date: 1/31/2009 12:17:59 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 8:03:17 PM

Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 7:47:11 PM

Author: Dancing Fire




http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/images/smilies/10.gif

Date: 1/30/2009 7:20:27 PM

Author: Dee*Jay

Date: 1/30/2009 6:49:52 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/30/2009 2:18:44 PM

Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie



Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

I highly disagree with this.


I lost my virginity to another virgin. Afterwards, I thought, hot damn, should have tried this sooner!!

how can one prove virginity?

with a virgin certificate ?

So would virginity then be *certified* or only *certificated*?


And boy... those G/VG/EX ratings would be particularly difficult to assign without at least *some* form of testing...

that''s why you need to take he/she to an independent lab to be sure all the measurements matches the certificated !!

you don''t wanna end up with somebody only graded G/G/G when you were expecting EX/EX/EX or a TRIPLE IDEAL specimen.

And how exactly would the return policy be exercised? I mean, don''t they usually want the goods back *unmounted* and in their original condition?

Look, I just check to see if it''s well cut and performs great. I found that I didn''t need mind clean so my standards were lower.

*giggle snort*

FI and I went out for a month (4 dates) before we kissed it was good

didn''t plan for it to happen that way it just did.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/30/2009 1:59:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Anyhoo, I wish these young uns the best. And I hope that book that his dad gave him explains all about female anatomy! Too virgins fumbling around is a recipe for disapointment! LOL!

Ooops,time out

let me look on page 6

to see what am i surpose to do with this thing.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/30/2009 7:31:38 PM
Author: HollyS
While I can ''understand'' their position, and that is was right for them, the Duggars, and others like them, are a bit on the odd side. To say the least.

All that abstinence of romantic canoodling before marriage must be why Jim-Bob can''t keep it zipped now.

Thats it! YET ANOTHER keyboard ruined!!!!

* stalks off to find a damp cloth....again*