Is this weird/offensive/not a big deal?

[ts44]

I'm totally having a Robbie the Hot Flower Girl flashback here. Holy cow.

Honestly, I'd go through with it solely because I think it's so absurd and hilarious, how could I not? But I'd definitely back out of planning anything - I mean, you have your role and as far as I remember, flower girls don't pay for strippers or shots!

I think I'm biased because I thought Robbie rocked it as a flower girl. I do find the way the bride asked you to be awkward, but being a FG over a BM has its perks (which Princesss pointed out). I would just go with it and I think everybody will appreciate what a good sport you are about it.

Ditto this.

Sorry I just have to disagree! I would be, well, if not offended, at least taken aback if my friend "demoted" me from bridesmaid to be her flower girl just because I was short and she didn't want uneven sides. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm all about being a good sport but in this case, it's transparently just selfish motivation on the bride's part which I wouldn't care to humor.

If she had NOT already been asked to be a bridesmaid, and instead was asked to be the flower girl first, I might be more amenable. But in this case, the position of bridesmaid was given to her, and then rescinded for very poor reasons. You don't "takesy-backsy" on a friend being a bridesmaid just because your sides are suddenly uneven.

ETA: I ran this scenario by my sister and she said this: "I'd only do it if the ringbearer were a dead ringer for Jake Gyllenhaal, roughly the same age, and single." That I agree with!

 

[argylemarionette]

You could always alter your dress to show massive cleavage. It could make for some verrry interesting photos of you and the 9 year old cub

 

[Pandora II]

OMG... this is Robbie the Flowergirl all over again.

Personally I'd do it - as long as you get to pick the dress...

Do a search for Robbie's thread - she started out seriously PO'd and by the end she had a ball.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Well, frick. I tried to post links to robbie's old threads but they keep taking to the PS Knowledge page.

 

[LadyBlue]

Well, frick. I tried to post links to robbie's old threads but they keep taking to the PS Knowledge page.

What is her user name? I'm intrigue

 

[sillyberry]

Well, frick. I tried to post links to robbie's old threads but they keep taking to the PS Knowledge page.

If you insert the url into the url tag, as opposed to just posting it, it comes out correctly. I learned this the hard way.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Okay, I think I've got it. There are three separate threads about it so I'll post them individually:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/omg-im-the-flower-girl.54863/

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Second thread:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-yes-im-wearing-it-flower-girl-dress.58358/

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Third thread:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/pics-of-me-as-the-flower-girl.66881/

 

[slg47]

oh my gosh...I just read through all of those threads-too funny!

 

[LadyBlue]

OMG, I personally would not have a problem being a Flower girl , but if it bothers you, be direct, I think was kind your fault to accepted it and now to change your mind. I don't understand why if she has been your friend for so long you can not look at her face and tell her the truth.

Robbie is a great gal, kudos to her, she looked awesome

 

[slg47]

I think the difference is that Robbie was asked to be the flower girl, not the BM (although there was something in there about less expense...maybe because the PARENTS of the flower girl traditionally pay for the dress? ) and blueberry was initially asked to be a BM and is now being semi-demoted so that the bridal party will LOOK even and the ring bearer has someone to walk down the aisle with. two different situations IMO

 

[Autumnovember]

Those threads were awesome!

I agree with slg...she was initially asked to be a BM and then "demoted" which is probably where the whole problem lies.

 

[violet3]

Weddings are about having the people you love participate with you, not about even numbers. Your friend seems more concerned with her photos maybe....?

here's the thing, if you don't have to throw flowers, and she JUST wants you to walk with the ringbearer, then essentially you are another bridesmaid - why can't she just call you that? In my opinion "calling" you a flower girl just to keep the bridal party numbers even is demeaning Unless you aren't going to be in the pictures, in which case that's pretty crappy of your friend to NOT want you in her photos when she looks back at them.

I would absolutely NOT do this - you are a grown woman, not a "girl." And whatever her reasoning, it's an extremely odd request. sorry you're dealing with this!

 

[zoebartlett]

I think the difference is that Robbie was asked to be the flower girl, not the BM (although there was something in there about less expense...maybe because the PARENTS of the flower girl traditionally pay for the dress? ) and blueberry was initially asked to be a BM and is now being semi-demoted so that the bridal party will LOOK even and the ring bearer has someone to walk down the aisle with. two different situations IMO

This is what I thought of too. Robbie was a gorgeous flower girl, and I loved reading her threads at the time. This is a different situation though. This bride isn't even consistent with the reasons she's given you, BBD. I'd decline and go as a guest.

 

[Pushin40]

Are you effin serious?
I would tell her you were only kidding when you said you would be her flowergirl.
You are not a "girl".
It is weird, offensive, and a big deal! She basically demoted you in a text.

WTF.....

 

[blueberrydot]

Ok ladies, I went with the bride on Sunday to go look at bridesmaids gowns and I had a chance to ask her what's up about all this flower girl ridiculousness. I said something like, "So what exactly am I supposed to be doing as flower girl...?" And she said, "You're not really a flower girl, you're a bridesmaid, I just want you to walk down with (cousin)." While I'm still annoyed at having to unnecessarily walk down the aisle with a kid, I think I'm just going to go ahead and do it, because I guess I really am more of a bridesmaid than a FG. I'm wearing the same dress as the other BMs, I'll be taking pics with the wedding party, I won't have to take pics with the ring bearer (THANK GOD, that would have been awkward), and everyone at the wedding will assume I am a BM anyway. It wouldn't have felt right for me to pull out of the wedding party completely, as I am quite close with her family and I feel like it would have been more drama for me to drop out of the wedding than to stay in. Also, the wedding is local for me, the dress is neither expensive nor terrible, and I think the cost for me would be pretty minimal.

I still am PO'd with how she handled the whole thing, but honestly, as I have mentioned, she is Not All There and I don't think she realized what she was doing, or how I and others would perceive it. I feel like most people would be shocked that someone could have so little sense of self awareness, but trust me - I've known her for a long time, and this is definitely in keeping with the reputation she has (at least within my family and her family) that she is on another planet most of the time. She wore a white dress to a wedding once because she legitimately did not realize it was a faux pas, and was shocked when I told her. She is always doing/saying crazy ass things, but I truly think she is good hearted and means well.....sometimes I wonder, but I choose to give her the benefit of the doubt . However, if she keeps on being cray cray and tries to make me do flower girl crap I will either actually peace out of the wedding party, or just gush to her frequently about how relieved I am that I won't have to chip in for bridesmaids expenses

btw, thanks Travel Goddess for posting the Robbie links. I tried to do a search for them myself, but didn't have any luck. Can I just say, her cousin was a REAL piece of work!!! I kind of wonder how that marriage is going, actually! lol