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Is This Ring Too Big For My Hand?

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OK
This is the last I am going to say of the matter.
It was not my intention to start world war 3.

The very first reply to my question of "does this ring look too big" was answered by neatfreak with "it looks more like a cocktail ring than an ER."

While that may be her "ho", it wasn''t what I asked, and I thought it was on the callous side.
Like all PSers, I too, am entitled to my opinion.

Some people answered my question, which I appreciate.
Some have said kind things, which I also appreciate.

That is all I am going to say.
Why don''t we triple knot this thread, and get on with our lives....
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Rob, I think, possibly, the OP meant people in real life. I wear a large ring and I get the gamut of comments from Wow to I would never want a ring that large. I think here, on PS, people are honest but rarely are trying to be hurtful or nasty for nasty''s sake. My only points were that you can never really know what goes on in someone''s head, maybe they just have a differing view and maybe they wish they had a large and lovely ring and do not. You cannot know all reasons. My other point was, to each his own, if someone does not love it that is fine, but if it is YOURS and YOU love it, so what? You are the one wearing it. And it would be a shame to let others spoil your happiness with something that you are happy with.
 
Hi,

This is an interesting thread; here are my 2 cents: While halos are not my style (I prefer simple solitaire settings), I have to say that this ring is absolutely gorgeous. You shouldn''t however be offended by those who said it looked like a cocktail ring. This is a forum for diamond lovers, not engagement ring fanatics. When they likened your ring to a cocktail ring, they certainly did not mean it as an insult. I think it''s safe to say that many people here adore big ornate rings.

Your engagement ring is obviously larger than average, and as such it doesn''t look like your typical erings. Consider people with coloured stone erings: while most people don''t necessarily associate coloured stones with engagement rings, it doesn''t change what they are. and it doesn''t make the mention that it doesn''t look like a typical engagement ring offensive. An engagement ring is something your future husband gives you as a symbol of your commitment to each other; an iron hoop would be an engagement ring if given in that context. But you can''t blame people for mentioning that your ring is atypical; you probably love it for that very reason.

The bottom line is, your ring is stunning, it was given to you as a token of love, enjoy it.

Mounia
 
I totally agree with you diamondfan. All posters should be respectful and avoid comments that may be obviously hurtful, demeaning etc. Some postings may come across as less than sensitive and are often not meant that way. As you said, most posters " (...) rarely are trying to be hurtful or nasty for nasty''s sake". Given the latter, we should give people the benefit of the doubt and not rush to judgement or assume that they meant a certain thing.
And yes, WWIII is over and we can all go back to our little (or big!) diamonds, rings and other toys that matter so little in the big scope of things.
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I just wanted to add my 2 cents...

If someone referred to my engagement ring as a cocktail ring, I''d probably be somewhat insulted too. Much as, I imagine, someone with a simple solitaire setting and modest diamond might be insulted if their e-ring was referred to as a promise ring. I think it would be nice if we could offer an honest opinion (about whether we think the setting is too big or not), and refrain from using descriptions that we know are insulting to iluvcarats in our responses. Is it really that important that someone elaborate on an honest opinion at the risk of insulting someone? For me, the answer is "no."

As for the ring -- I love it. And my personal opinion is that it''s just the perfect size... for now.
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Your ring looks perfect on your hand. Please don''t let other people''s comments annoy or upset you.
 
I think that the ring is gorgeous, and looks great on your hand.

It is an intricate design, so it kind of makes me think of one of those gorgeous Neil Lane celebrity engagement rings that you always see on the red carpet. I would love to have something that beautiful someday! I guess that you can chalk up some of the negative comments to different tastes - I picked a solitaire because it''s what my husband really wanted me to get (he likes simple), but I am going to upgrade next year to something with sidestones, because I also want a ring with more detail and diamonds.

I think that a lot of women would love a ring with full-finger coverage, so wear your ring proudly and enjoy it! :)
 
Date: 5/7/2008 3:21:31 PM
Author: diamondfan
Now, I have a large stone, not halo''ed, and I love it. So I say, let your inner Liz Taylor out and rock it if it works in your life.
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DF--Please, can I have permission to make this into a button? PLEASE! I MUST! It''s too good!
 
Let me start by saying that I do like your setting, it is very beautiful.

My opinion is that when I look at you ring I tend to be attracted to the sheer size of the ring, which takes away from the stone. I love, love, love halo''s but for some reason I don''t prefer large halos on large round diamonds. Just my preference though. My own e-ring (which I am waiting on) is 1.5 oval with an ornate halo setting on a size 6 finger. My mom even said that my ring was leaning toward cocktail in her opinion. We just have different taste though.

I think you do have to take finger size into account when it comes to the size of the setting and stone. It does look a bit big on your hand, but if that is the effect that you were going for then all is good. It must be bothering you a bit or you would not have asked for PS''ers honest opinions. If it is then just change the setting to something that you really love and put a beautiful sapphire in that amazing setting. If it isn''t bothering you.....just keep it as is! Either way you are fortunate to have such a lovely stone.
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Well, this has been an interesting thread... hopefully the OP got something useful out of the four pages here!

And dreamer dachsie, just for posterity (shall we say, and pardon the terrible pun) no, I don''t ever wear pants to work or otherwise... I *do* wear skirts
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Though it might improve sales here if I didn''t!
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(Or not
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haha!) (And I did just about die laughing reading your post
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Personally I love the setting. But that may be part of the problem? I''m so wowed by the setting that the center stone is really superflous. Only the OP can decide whether her intent was to give the impression of "wow look at that stone" or "wow that''s a heck of a ring". They are two different reactions from people. As much as I love the Landi setting, I guess if I saw the OP my words would have been "what a ring" rather than "what a stone"
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Date: 5/7/2008 5:45:12 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 5/7/2008 3:21:31 PM
Author: diamondfan
Now, I have a large stone, not halo''ed, and I love it. So I say, let your inner Liz Taylor out and rock it if it works in your life.
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DF--Please, can I have permission to make this into a button? PLEASE! I MUST! It''s too good!
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Oh me too! What a great little expression!

"let your inner Liz Taylor out and rock it!" Fabulous!
 
I have found the whole cocktail ring thing very amusing. I had no idea that was considered an insult. I''ve seen some knockout beautiful and butt ugly rings on this board but in the end, the owners are the ones who love them and really, should not give a whit what others think.
 
Date: 5/7/2008 1:58:17 PM
Author: Dani511
I just had to chime in again...


I hope you are getting the feeling that those who make negative comments or comments saying the ring is too big, too much, reduce the size, reset it, it looks like a cocktail ring, etc... seem to be just a little bit on the envious side, maybe??
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Well, I get that feeling. I know my BF and I will not be able to afford a large diamond, although I do feel the bigger the better, and I am purposely trying to find a setting that is ornate and large so that it enhances the diamond to make it look as large as is possible ( I would personally LOVE to have a ring that looks huge on my finger and have my friends say whatever they want about it!! Ha!!.)


However, just because I know he cannot afford a large diamond does not mean that I can''t enjoy someone else''s large diamond, and give credit where it is due.


Again, it is fabulous, the work in the ring is stunning
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, and it DOES look like an engagement ring! I am sure it is representative of a great love as well. I would never re-set it! It is beautiful and I think you should show it off!! Be proud, and again, wear it in good health!!
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Sorry Dani 511, but because you think bigger is better, you therefore conclude that people who are being a little ''unenthusiastic'' in their responses are (automatically!) jealous of the ring.

Not everyone is motivated by jealousy in this world...not even you, who would love the ring. This is a diamond lover''s forum, we view other people''s jewellery all the time. Would we do it if it sent us into an agitation of jealousy?
It doesn''t make sense to say that all negative responses are motivated by naked greed and jealousy...there is such a thing as aesthetics, and what we each perceive to be good taste. Some people will love it, some people would like the stone in a different setting, and some people would not to use either the stone or the setting as an engagement ring, I guess.
Why do we have to be all Pollyanna and pretend that ''only nasty people say negative things''...?
What''s the problem? If everyone thought the same, manufacturers would have only one ring design in every store, wouldn''t they?
I think generally, people are really super nice around here, it seems unfair to jump on anyone who gives an honest opinion...I''ll be asking for advice sooner or later, and I''d prefer it to be real, ya know?
 
Nicely said LaraOnline.
 
Hi! I personally don''t think it''s too "big" as far as carat weight, but it is far from "plain" with the halo and diamond band, so that makes it seem ''bigger'' than it is. If that makes sense...
I''m not against halo''s by any means, but I tend not to like rings with halos or bands that overshadow the main stone itself. I think you''ve got a whole bunch of bling there (lucky girl!) so there isn''t focus on the center stone itself, rather one big "bllling!" when you look at it.
But - it doesn''t matter one bit if I would want it for my E-ring, only matters what YOU want!
 
Date: 5/7/2008 8:15:31 PM
Author: LaraOnline


Sorry Dani 511, but because you think bigger is better, you therefore conclude that people who are being a little 'unenthusiastic' in their responses are (automatically!) jealous of the ring.


Not everyone is motivated by jealousy in this world...not even you, who would love the ring. This is a diamond lover's forum, we view other people's jewellery all the time. Would we do it if it sent us into an agitation of jealousy?

It doesn't make sense to say that all negative responses are motivated by naked greed and jealousy...there is such a thing as aesthetics, and what we each perceive to be good taste. Some people will love it, some people would like the stone in a different setting, and some people would not to use either the stone or the setting as an engagement ring, I guess.

Why do we have to be all Pollyanna and pretend that 'only nasty people say negative things'...?

What's the problem? If everyone thought the same, manufacturers would have only one ring design in every store, wouldn't they?

I think generally, people are really super nice around here, it seems unfair to jump on anyone who gives an honest opinion...I'll be asking for advice sooner or later, and I'd prefer it to be real, ya know?
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Thank you for posting this, it was exactly what I was thinking but unable to put into words. I was beginning to wonder what kind of place this is where just because someone gives an honest opinion that may not be what another wants to hear or differs from another's opinion, it is automatically chalked up to "jealousy."
 
I started this thread, and nowhere did I say anything about jealousy (or anything not nice to ANYONE!!!)

Before you accuse me of something I didn''t do or say, why don''t you please read the entire thread!


I do not think you are all jealous of me, and I certainly hope not!


Like I said before, this thread really needs to end!
 

Ladies and gentleman, this is ridiculous.


Now, I am insulted, and here is why:


I never said that ALL negative comments were due to jealousy. Some may be, some may not be. This is now a full-on attack on ME, when in the first place, I had never meant to, nor did I, attack anyone in particular. Is that really fair?


I am entitled to my opinion, which really wasn''t very insulting, and I have been NOTHING BUT NICE on this forum since joining. Suddenly, there is an attack because I had implied some posters may be a bit envious?? That certainly may be the case- or not, of course. Again, it is my opinion te(and there certainly are many very STRONG opinions on this forum) that some posts came across TO ME as perhaps being a bit envious. That is how I felt. Period. Why be insulted, especially if you were not the one (s) to post a statement that may have warranted me feeling that way??


I do not feel that I said anything that warrants an attack such as this, and I am shocked. If you feel differently that is one thing, but I certainly did not expect some of you to gang up on me. I thought this was certainly a different sort of place.


Apparently, one is NOT entitled to his or her opinion here- it is subject to a full-on attack of one''s moral character. This is very disappointing- especially in light of the fact that I meant no harm to anyone- none of my postings have ever pointed a finger at anyone. This one was no different. Who cares if I personally thought that some people may have had a hint of jealousy in thier writting? Some of you attacking me are taking personal offense to a post that was not directed at you or anyone in particular. Some of you didn''t even post in the first place untill you saw my post. Very dissapointing...

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Date: 5/7/2008 8:50:43 PM
Author: iluvcarats
I started this thread, and nowhere did I say anything about jealousy (or anything not nice to ANYONE!!!)

Before you accuse me of something I didn''t do or say, why don''t you please read the entire thread!


I do not think you are all jealous of me, and I certainly hope not!


Like I said before, this thread really needs to end!
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Why would you think I am accusing you?? That is also ridiculous! My posts were meant solely to compliment your ring- not to harm you or anyone else. This will certainly end, yes, but I am not going to allow myself to be attacked in this manner, I am very insulted, I don''t think my opinion was that strong or nasty to warrant this. I feel as though those of you attacking me for being honest are also being hypocritical.

Again, iluvcarats, it was a compliment, I don''t know why you didn''t get that from the post.


Really, I am shocked...
 
Ummm...I think this has gotten ridiculous.

Dani511-if you feel attacked personally, then you should use the report post button.

Also, I think you are taking everything that's been said since you posted the second time (the one directed at Rob) personally. Including the last one from Iluvcarats-she did not call you on it, she made a general post.

I think we all need to step back and CHILL OUT.
 
Really, this is pretty funny
I''m actually laughing (well, chuckling) out loud in front of my screen!
If it is this difficult to communicate in a diamond forum, imagine how the UN goes!
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You just have to ask yourself. Will you be happy if your ering looked like this?

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iluvcarats - I''m sorry, I didn''t mean for it to seem as if my last post was directed at you. It wasn''t, and for that matter, it wasn''t directed at any one person in particular. And FWIW, I did read the whole thread and have been following it since you posted it.

Dani - I hope you don''t think I was replying directly to you, because I wasn''t. And I apologize if what I said seemed like an attack on you, because I truly didn''t mean it that way. I was merely voicing my thoughts about the posts that stated that those who make comments about the ring that aren''t all gushy and ogling are envious are jealous (you aren''t the only one who made a post to that effect). I completely understand that you weren''t pointing fingers or singling anyone out here, and again, I''m sorry if it seems I was pointing fingers at you.
 
Date: 5/7/2008 9:22:00 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Ummm...I think this has gotten ridiculous.


Dani511-if you feel attacked personally, then you should use the report post button.


Also, I think you are taking everything that''s been said since you posted the second time (the one directed at Rob) personally. Including the last one from Iluvcarats-she did not call you on it, she made a general post.


I think we all need to step back and CHILL OUT.
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Word, sister! ;)
 
Boy, I am probably going to regret jumping into the fray again, but, I love this community so much, and I literally owe my upcoming ring to you guys, so I''m going to jump in.

This entire thread has been full of words that some people have interpreted extremely negatively and other people have been left scratching their heads. For example, the "cocktail" ring comment. I do not see at all how that is an insult, but a lot of the pricescopers seem to think that it is an obvious insult. I could go on and list all of the hot words, but I''m not going to.

The point is - please try to keep in mind when reading these posts that everyone has a completely different perspective and way of reading things.

When trying to decide what someone''s motivation is, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. It''s a shame that we have hurt feelings when we are all just trying to show support to various posters.
 
Date: 5/7/2008 9:25:43 PM
Author: LaraOnline
Really, this is pretty funny
I'm actually laughing (well, chuckling) out loud in front of my screen!
If it is this difficult to communicate in a diamond forum, imagine how the UN goes!
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Me too... I just read everything in order, and I'm so confused at how multiple posters seem to think every other post is directed solely at them.

Whaaa?
Has me goin'
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Hi Dani,
That wasn''t directed to you at all. It may have just shown up right under you.
You have been nothing but nice.
Sorry for the mis understanding![ l:]
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JUUUUSSST to play devil''s advocate here...but only speaking for me since I know me best...

when I was using the notion of jealousy, I was referring to SOME people, mostly in real life, who might poo poo her ring or make less than pleasant comments about the SIZE of her ring. I know myself I try to err on the side of "If I am just saying something snarky to say it, let me examine MY motives in saying it to that person, and maybe it is best left unsaid". Meaning, if I am being honest and constructive and NOT anything other than that, okay, I will state my views. But in life, unfortunately, people DO get envious or jealous and that DOES cause the person to often be less than gracious. I do not know what percentage of the time that is relevant, but it DOES happen. I only was trying to make the OP feel like, hey, A, does it matter if someone else DOES think it is big etc since it is HER ring and not THEIRS and B, put other''s comments into perspective since it CAN be coming from a not totally altruistic place. Many times, people who are newly engaged come on here and are sad or upset that their family or friends were less than positive about their rings. A consensus often is that the person saying the mean comment MIGHT be jealous. We do not KNOW the other person, but based on the tone of their remarks, we extrapolate. We are also trying to make the poster feel good, like, hey, the heck with them if they cannot be nice. If you get engaged and have a larger ring than your friend, forgetting who has a technically superior ring in terms of cut etc, and your friend said, Well, PERSONALLY, I would rather have a SMALLER ring that is a better quality, my ring is VVS and your ring is VS. I would, honestly, take that as sour grapes. If you got engaged and your family said, Oh, wow, don''t you think that is a bit big to wear every day? I think MY size is much more wearable... again, I might assume that they are experiencing sour grapes, though they might totally feel that and that is fine.

There are few diamonds in this world I do not like or would not want to have! Whether every setting or style is my taste, since it is not mine, I try to be fair but not too blunt when I make comments.
 
Ok group hug, then lets move on....
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