Input wanted please--

[decodelighted]

Deco, Big Sisters is a great program, I agree. I took my Little Sister to the mall when I was in the program. I wanted to take her in Claire's (the little junk jewelry store chain that I loved as a kid) and buy her a treat. She didn't want ANYTHING. I remember being really disappointed. But she tried stuff on anyway and we had a good time. Later she told me that she didn't have to worry about school--her family believed that a religious apocalypse was about to happen and that even though she wanted to be a veterinarian, she wouldn't live long enough to see that dream fulfilled.

I just don't know that not exposing a child to something that is "normal" to us is that bad. Maybe it would bring just a little happiness of a different kind into their world for a time.

I'd agree with you as long as it's a child that you know well. Not a child who is a total stranger.

 

[Smith1942]

Don't work out your "wish I was a mommy" issues on some innocent.

I don't think you should have said that, Deco. For all you know, the OP or anyone else here might have been struggling to have a family but can't.

Agreed. I overstated the sentiment harshly. What I *mean* to say is that more intimate, personal gifts are best given by someone who knows a child well and is able to consult their parents if there are any questions as to appropriateness/permission.

If one does crave a hands-on mentoring type of relationship with children or young adults ... there ARE ways to go about that other than anonymous gift giving.

I DO NOT believe that all gifts are given without strings or ulterior motives. A friend of mine gave a boyfriend a long mixed cd she'd made and then was angry he hadn't immediately listened to it and understood her hidden meanings in all the songs. My response: you didn't give him a GIFT ... you gave him a JOB to do, to which he didn't accomplish to your satisfaction.

Makeup can also be taken as a "job". Your duty as a girl is to look good for the world and if you should fail to do so well enough than you are less than. (Make up INSTRUCTION BOOKS would be even MORE to that message. Better do it right, girl! And high-end, unattainable makeup brand Instruction Books really seem like an f'd up message to send to an impressionable young woman with meager means currently.)

I agree with much of what you say about the over-sexualising of young girls, Deco. And I know you didn't mean to be harsh.

As regards makeup and messages, I guess I used to use the stuff to smooth out pimples/dark shadows etc and not to look overdone or use makeup very thickly or to look older, or anything like that. When I was a youngster it was to compensate a little for what the hormones were doing to my skin! But I grew up in the Seventies, and perhaps everything is more sexualised now then it was back then.

So, some people think the gift is a good idea, some don't. On reflection, it is perhaps a little personal for someone you don't know. But since she's getting gift cards, she can do what she likes with them, and since the idea is to give the girl something to open in addition, I also like the idea of a bathrobe and slippers.

 

[decodelighted]

For the record: Never once did I say this would be in replacement to the gift card. This would be IN ADDITION TO a gift card which I would place inside the makeup bag so she could get WHATEVER SHE WANTED WITH IT while still getting a (hopefully) fun surprise. A book. More makeup. Deodorant. Feminine hygiene products. Socks. Clothes. Whatever.

And no, this is NOT all about me. This is purely about the person receiving the gift and the reason I thought of this was not to "sexualize" a child or replace some longing for a child of my own. It was to gift a girl who is 13 years old something she might want, and likely doesn't have the means to obtain without having to use the gift cards she gets to get those items. In theory this was to give her a good "starter set" so that when and if she does expand her makeup collection, beyond just these basics, she's not starting from scratch. I don't know why tomboys have to automatically NOT have an interest in how they look. It can go both ways.

If the parents choose to not pass the whole gift on to her, that's their prerogative. Her mom might be thrilled for her to receive it, and then they can have a lesson together and a fun time playing with it together.

ETA: Are you familiar with this book? If not go look at it. It's NOT like that. It's a book about self confidence. There's actually very little about makeup, or brands at all. Very little mention about her products even.

I hear ya. So can I suggest a title change for this thread to "Agreement wanted please".

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Books are a good idea for a 13 year old, especially books that help build self-confidence.

 

[liaerfbv]

Ame, I think what you're doing is really nice and great. I'm sorry that you seem to be getting dumped on for caring about getting something your girl might like and want to get but not have the means to. I agree that makeup is a personal decision for every parent, but I think a nice set of brushes, nail polish, lip gloss, etc. would be nice. I don't know if I would buy foundation or eye makeup for a 13yo, but I agree body washes and lotion would also be great. And hey, if the mom doesn't like it, she's well within her right to not allow her daughter to use it. You know, actual parenting. It doesn't matter what you buy, it may not be perfect - she may be allergic to scents, she may be a tomboy, she may not be able to use a neutral pallet, but I think in this instance it's the THOUGHT that counts.

And for what's it's worth, I cannot have kids. I would love to have kids. Not having children is a very sore subject in my life and to read the comments made about taking your "mommy issues" out on this girl literally made me sick to my stomach. I adopt several Angel Tree children from the Salvation Army every Christmas and it's one of the highlights of my year. Maybe I go overboard, but I buy every single necessity on the list and then some fun stuff. I don't presume that every gift I've ever bought has been "right," but I hope the parents who receive these presents know that my intentions were good and I hope that their child has a special Christmas. Let's put this program in perspective here, seriously.

 

[soxfan]

Ame, I think what you're doing is really nice and great. I'm sorry that you seem to be getting dumped on for caring about getting something your girl might like and want to get but not have the means to. I agree that makeup is a personal decision for every parent, but I think a nice set of brushes, nail polish, lip gloss, etc. would be nice. I don't know if I would buy foundation or eye makeup for a 13yo, but I agree body washes and lotion would also be great. And hey, if the mom doesn't like it, she's well within her right to not allow her daughter to use it. You know, actual parenting. It doesn't matter what you buy, it may not be perfect - she may be allergic to scents, she may be a tomboy, she may not be able to use a neutral pallet, but I think in this instance it's the THOUGHT that counts.

And for what's it's worth, I cannot have kids. I would love to have kids. Not having children is a very sore subject in my life and to read the comments made about taking your "mommy issues" out on this girl literally made me sick to my stomach. I adopt several Angel Tree children from the Salvation Army every Christmas and it's one of the highlights of my year. Maybe I go overboard, but I buy every single necessity on the list and then some fun stuff. I don't presume that every gift I've ever bought has been "right," but I hope the parents who receive these presents know that my intentions were good and I hope that their child has a special Christmas. Let's put this program in perspective here, seriously.

Well said. I applaud what you are doing, Ame.

 

[House Cat]

Ame,

From what I have read from your original post, the main issue isn't really the make-up. I thought I felt disappointment in your words because of the fact that the family requested mostly gift cards and you were unable to "shower them with gifts." Am I right?

Is there any other way to spoil this little girl that might satisfy your amazing and generous soul without possibly crossing any boundaries with the family?

I understand how much fun it must be to give a needy family so many wonderful gifts and how deflated I might feel if I saw that they only wanted gift cards. My teenagers have been robbing me of the spirit of Christmas for years now in this way! Bless you for wanting to give to this family. I wish you wisdom in honoring this family.

 

[ame]

Ame, I think what you're doing is really nice and great. I'm sorry that you seem to be getting dumped on for caring about getting something your girl might like and want to get but not have the means to. I agree that makeup is a personal decision for every parent, but I think a nice set of brushes, nail polish, lip gloss, etc. would be nice. I don't know if I would buy foundation or eye makeup for a 13yo, but I agree body washes and lotion would also be great. And hey, if the mom doesn't like it, she's well within her right to not allow her daughter to use it. You know, actual parenting. It doesn't matter what you buy, it may not be perfect - she may be allergic to scents, she may be a tomboy, she may not be able to use a neutral pallet, but I think in this instance it's the THOUGHT that counts.

And for what's it's worth, I cannot have kids. I would love to have kids. Not having children is a very sore subject in my life and to read the comments made about taking your "mommy issues" out on this girl literally made me sick to my stomach. I adopt several Angel Tree children from the Salvation Army every Christmas and it's one of the highlights of my year. Maybe I go overboard, but I buy every single necessity on the list and then some fun stuff. I don't presume that every gift I've ever bought has been "right," but I hope the parents who receive these presents know that my intentions were good and I hope that their child has a special Christmas. Let's put this program in perspective here, seriously.

Well said. I applaud what you are doing, Ame.

Thank you!

And liaerfbv: That is EXACTLY what I was going for, I appreciate your response very much! It might not be perfect, I'll let the parents decide, and the girl decide. The point was to give her something fun, not something that is just a total necessity.

 

[marymm]

Books are a good idea for a 13 year old, especially books that help build self-confidence.

Honestly I think books are a good idea for anyone who loves to read - even then, unless you know the person, it is hard to know what they already own, have already read, are interested in...

As this is a gift for a 13-year-old girl who is completely unknown to the gift-giver, unless it is by way of a Barnes & Nobel or Amazon gift card, I wouldn't give a book to her - and as someone who loves books, I would never, never, never have welcomed a book on self-confidence as a young girl as a Christmas gift -- I can't imagine unwrapping a present and seeing a book that basically is sending the message that I need work.

This is not to say such books aren't useful and often much appreciated - I just can't fathom it as a surprise Christmas gift to a young girl you don't know.

 

[TooPatient]

Ame, I think what you're doing is really nice and great. I'm sorry that you seem to be getting dumped on for caring about getting something your girl might like and want to get but not have the means to. I agree that makeup is a personal decision for every parent, but I think a nice set of brushes, nail polish, lip gloss, etc. would be nice. I don't know if I would buy foundation or eye makeup for a 13yo, but I agree body washes and lotion would also be great. And hey, if the mom doesn't like it, she's well within her right to not allow her daughter to use it. You know, actual parenting. It doesn't matter what you buy, it may not be perfect - she may be allergic to scents, she may be a tomboy, she may not be able to use a neutral pallet, but I think in this instance it's the THOUGHT that counts.

And for what's it's worth, I cannot have kids. I would love to have kids. Not having children is a very sore subject in my life and to read the comments made about taking your "mommy issues" out on this girl literally made me sick to my stomach. I adopt several Angel Tree children from the Salvation Army every Christmas and it's one of the highlights of my year. Maybe I go overboard, but I buy every single necessity on the list and then some fun stuff. I don't presume that every gift I've ever bought has been "right," but I hope the parents who receive these presents know that my intentions were good and I hope that their child has a special Christmas. Let's put this program in perspective here, seriously.

Well said. I applaud what you are doing, Ame.

Thank you!

And liaerfbv: That is EXACTLY what I was going for, I appreciate your response very much! It might not be perfect, I'll let the parents decide, and the girl decide. The point was to give her something fun, not something that is just a total necessity.

Ame,

I think something extra that is FUN is an amazing idea! My family didn't have much so I'm very familiar with getting JUST the necessities. The extra little things that are just because are so special when you don't have much.

Please do keep in mind the variety of opinions on makeup at 13 BUT you should have FUN gathering together something nice for this girl. Even if you knew her, you aren't guaranteed to get just exactly the right thing -- your kind and generous thoughts will shine through!

 

[canuk-gal]

I agree body washes and lotion would also be great. And hey, if the mom doesn't like it, she's well within her right to not allow her daughter to use it. You know, actual parenting.

Hmmmm. Christmas morning.....girl unwraps a donated present that her family disapproves of and takes it away and says you are "not allowed to have that". That would go over like a lead balloon. Most people would not wish to cause an unintended issue over a donation or gift.

Giving gift cards is NOT thoughtless; in this context, it just minimizes all those (problematic) variables you cannot otherwise control.

cheers--Sharon

 

[movie zombie]

do something nice for her: give her an extra gift card.
the family thought about what they wanted.
each person submitted, correct?
empowering her to make her own purchases is an awesome gift.
purchases that, of course, meet with the approval of her parents.

 

[AprilBaby]

Wow! Heated thread and way too much deepness for a simple question. You must had gotten your husband on a bad day, quite an over reaction from him. I do have to agree, no makeup. My parents didn't allow it till 16. Some of my daughters friends had the same rules. And you never know "allergies". I am very sensitive to talc which is in a lot of cosmetics. How about a gift card or a few things from Claire's? Cute charm bracelet or necklace? I would have loved that at 13. They have great "teeny bopper" accessories!
I applaud you for giving so generously every year!

 

[woofmama]

Ame I think you're heart is in the right place. I have to say I agree with canuk-gal though, if the girls parents are opposed to the idea of her wearing make-up it could cause a scene on Christmas.

I think the lip gloss idea is okay along with some fun fuzzy socks or slippers and some nice body lotion.
Something no one else has mentioned- you say this is a family of five. If the 13 yr old girl has actual presents to open and the other children don't couldn't that create hurt feelings as well?

 

[Smith1942]

There are so many intelligent responses here that I could sit here all night, typing out replies. I'll have to be satisfied by saying that Psers are a wise and brainy lot!

 

[athenaworth]

You could get her some perfume as well. I acquired two nieces that were around the same age and I was not sure what to get them for Christmas. The youngest (12) got perfume and the oldest (14) got sparkly nail polish. They were both very excited by that and it didn't step on any parental toes.

 

[movie zombie]

Ame I think you're heart is in the right place. ........If the 13 yr old girl has actual presents to open and the other children don't couldn't that create hurt feelings as well?

both are good points.

 

[momhappy]

I can certainly see where some of the heated discussion has come from. We sponsor a family every year. We get a fairly specific list of items wanted/needed (for example, shirt, size M, etc.). It would never occur to me to follow my own agenda when fulfilling Holiday wishes. I think that while, yes, Ame's heart was in the right place in wanting to help, following her own agenda seemed to take away from that a little bit. If this was truly about a family in need, then there wouldn't be any question about what to get them because you get them exactly what is on their list, not what you think they should have. If you really want to get something "extra" how about a nice, fuzzy pair of slippers to keep her feet warm

 

[liaerfbv]

I can certainly see where some of the heated discussion has come from. We sponsor a family every year. We get a fairly specific list of items wanted/needed (for example, shirt, size M, etc.). It would never occur to me to follow my own agenda when fulfilling Holiday wishes. I think that while, yes, Ame's heart was in the right place in wanting to help, following her own agenda seemed to take away from that a little bit. If this was truly about a family in need, then there wouldn't be any question about what to get them because you get them exactly what is on their list, not what you think they should have. If you really want to get something "extra" how about a nice, fuzzy pair of slippers to keep her feet warm

She said multiple times that what she wanted to get her was in addition to what the girl asked for (that she had already gotten her). Getting makeup for a teen doesn't really fall under "having an agenda" IMO. I do think slippers are a great idea as well!

 

[momhappy]

^I understand that, but getting make-up for a 13 year-old girl (which can be fairly controversial as demonstrated in this thread), is an agenda in my opinion. If you want to get something extra, choose something generic, not something that potentialy ties in with people's beliefs/morals/attitudes/culture/religious beliefs etc.......

 

[OreoRosies86]

First off OP, I am sorry your husband screamed at you. That isn't cool

I agree with everyone who sugugested lip gloss and nail polish. Those Bonne Belle Lipsmackers are really fun and they come in holiday packs. Maybe that and some Essie nail polish in a cute cosmetics bag? Totally age appropriate but still a nice gift. I loved getting that kind of thing at age 13.

 

[dragonfly411]

First - Sorry but I'm not sorry for what I said. I sponsor families and it isn't about me giving them what I think they should have.

I mentioned those ideas because they are a bit more age friendly than makeup.

The 7 habits of Highly Effective Teens is a follow up to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Both have been shown to be incredibly inspiring to people, and help them to work harder and achieve goals in life. It might help her to make a huge future for herself. I think your makeup is boring.

Have a nice one.

 

[liaerfbv]

First - Sorry but I'm not sorry for what I said. I sponsor families and it isn't about me giving them what I think they should have.

I mentioned those ideas because they are a bit more age friendly than makeup.

The 7 habits of Highly Effective Teens is a follow up to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Both have been shown to be incredibly inspiring to people, and help them to work harder and achieve goals in life. It might help her to make a huge future for herself. I think your makeup is boring.

Have a nice one.

Seriously? If someone gave me that book as a 13 year old girl I would have thrown it in the trash. Your comments are not helpful, and in fact are really rude and unnecessary.

 

[ame]

Ame I think you're heart is in the right place. I have to say I agree with canuk-gal though, if the girls parents are opposed to the idea of her wearing make-up it could cause a scene on Christmas.

I think the lip gloss idea is okay along with some fun fuzzy socks or slippers and some nice body lotion.
Something no one else has mentioned- you say this is a family of five. If the 13 yr old girl has actual presents to open and the other children don't couldn't that create hurt feelings as well?

That won't be an issue, as every child will have a gift to open, we make very sure of that. Everything is always equal. My parents go out of their way to confirm that there's equality among kids. It's not gonna just be ONE person opening a gift.

As for how this thing works: The parents supply a list to the social workers, and will be the ones that get the gifts. Normally the list is VERY specific, as in specific toys, clothes, etc., I haven't seen this full list, so I don't know which stores/items if any were requested for each child. We usually wrap them per request, though not everyone does, and usually the post it note that we stick on each gift identifies who it is for and identifies what is inside the gift (for kids). No receipts or gift receipts will be accepted, they never are, which we think is dumb, but it prevents people from returning things for money, which I guess is the goal? I don't make that rule. The gifts are due in by I believe the 15th, in order to get them from the social workers to the family in enough time that if they want to write their own labels or need to wrap them they can.

In this particular instance they would have the final call on whether or not this child received this gift.

I can certainly see where some of the heated discussion has come from. We sponsor a family every year. We get a fairly specific list of items wanted/needed (for example, shirt, size M, etc.). It would never occur to me to follow my own agenda when fulfilling Holiday wishes. I think that while, yes, Ame's heart was in the right place in wanting to help, following her own agenda seemed to take away from that a little bit. If this was truly about a family in need, then there wouldn't be any question about what to get them because you get them exactly what is on their list, not what you think they should have. If you really want to get something "extra" how about a nice, fuzzy pair of slippers to keep her feet warm

She said multiple times that what she wanted to get her was in addition to what the girl asked for (that she had already gotten her). Getting makeup for a teen doesn't really fall under "having an agenda" IMO. I do think slippers are a great idea as well!

^I understand that, but getting make-up for a 13 year-old girl (which can be fairly controversial as demonstrated in this thread), is an agenda in my opinion. If you want to get something extra, choose something generic, not something that potentialy ties in with people's beliefs/morals/attitudes/culture/religious beliefs etc.......

Right but that is YOUR opinion, and others of us don't have the same opinion. I am NOT pushing an agenda. 99% of 13 year old girls love all things makeup-y. The goal was to get her something fun, that wouldn't "waste" her gift cards.

 

[ame]

First - Sorry but I'm not sorry for what I said. I sponsor families and it isn't about me giving them what I think they should have.

I mentioned those ideas because they are a bit more age friendly than makeup.

The 7 habits of Highly Effective Teens is a follow up to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Both have been shown to be incredibly inspiring to people, and help them to work harder and achieve goals in life. It might help her to make a huge future for herself. I think your makeup is boring.

Have a nice one.

You can feel that way if you choose, I think your books sound boring, unhelpful and phony. Books don't help people work harder or achieve goals, working hard and seeing results does. Agree to disagree. You're being rude and obnoxious though, calling me out about what you think is a luxury item ON A LUXURY ITEM FORUM. Irony.

I will have a nice one.

 

[momhappy]

Ame I think you're heart is in the right place. I have to say I agree with canuk-gal though, if the girls parents are opposed to the idea of her wearing make-up it could cause a scene on Christmas.

I think the lip gloss idea is okay along with some fun fuzzy socks or slippers and some nice body lotion.
Something no one else has mentioned- you say this is a family of five. If the 13 yr old girl has actual presents to open and the other children don't couldn't that create hurt feelings as well?

That won't be an issue, as every child will have a gift to open, we make very sure of that. Everything is always equal. My parents go out of their way to confirm that there's equality among kids. It's not gonna just be ONE person opening a gift.

As for how this thing works: The parents supply a list to the social workers, and will be the ones that get the gifts. Normally the list is VERY specific, as in specific toys, clothes, etc., I haven't seen this full list, so I don't know which stores/items if any were requested for each child. We usually wrap them per request, though not everyone does, and usually the post it note that we stick on each gift identifies who it is for and identifies what is inside the gift (for kids). No receipts or gift receipts will be accepted, they never are, which we think is dumb, but it prevents people from returning things for money, which I guess is the goal? I don't make that rule. The gifts are due in by I believe the 15th, in order to get them from the social workers to the family in enough time that if they want to write their own labels or need to wrap them they can.

In this particular instance they would have the final call on whether or not this child received this gift.

I can certainly see where some of the heated discussion has come from. We sponsor a family every year. We get a fairly specific list of items wanted/needed (for example, shirt, size M, etc.). It would never occur to me to follow my own agenda when fulfilling Holiday wishes. I think that while, yes, Ame's heart was in the right place in wanting to help, following her own agenda seemed to take away from that a little bit. If this was truly about a family in need, then there wouldn't be any question about what to get them because you get them exactly what is on their list, not what you think they should have. If you really want to get something "extra" how about a nice, fuzzy pair of slippers to keep her feet warm

She said multiple times that what she wanted to get her was in addition to what the girl asked for (that she had already gotten her). Getting makeup for a teen doesn't really fall under "having an agenda" IMO. I do think slippers are a great idea as well!

^I understand that, but getting make-up for a 13 year-old girl (which can be fairly controversial as demonstrated in this thread), is an agenda in my opinion. If you want to get something extra, choose something generic, not something that potentialy ties in with people's beliefs/morals/attitudes/culture/religious beliefs etc.......

Right but that is YOUR opinion, and others of us don't have the same opinion. I am NOT pushing an agenda. 99% of 13 year old girls love all things makeup-y. The goal was to get her something fun, that wouldn't "waste" her gift cards.

99%???? Again, that's your agenda/opinion. I do not believe that 99% of teenage girls love all things makeup. I think that the percentage is far lower than that and your comment demonstrates that clearly, this is more about you/your agenda/your perceptions, than the family in need. It's sounds to me like you've already made up your mind, so gift as you see fit. Maybe next time, though, don't ask for opinions when you don't really care to hear them. For what it's worth, the no makeup for a 13 year-old girl is not just my opinion. It is actually the opinion of the majority in this thread and I think that speaks volumes, but you just don't care to hear it. It's nothing personal - no hard feelings. It's just dialogue and we are all entitled to our opinions. I'm sure that we can all agree that helping a family in need is what's most important here.

 

[Aoife]

99% of 13 year old girls love all things makeup-y. The goal was to get her something fun, that wouldn't "waste" her gift cards.

Ame, you have received lots of very good advice on this thread. I have absolutely no doubt that your heart is in the right place, and that your intentions are the best. You and your family are doing a wonderful thing for this family, and for all the other families that you've helped over the years. That said, I'm firmly in the "do something other than makeup" camp, for several reasons. Firstly, 99% of 13 year olds do not love all things makeup-y. Really. If the 13-year old you are wanting to buy makeup for is one of those that either doesn't like makeup, or isn't allowed to wear it, you are running the risk of her being horribly disappointed when she opens her present, which I know is not your intention. At the age of 13, over 75% of my daughters friends never wore even lipgloss, let alone eye-shadow, blush, etc. That had changed a couple of years later, but at 13, makeup wasn't that important.

The other thing is that there is no such thing as a neutral palette for makeup that will suit every ethnicity/skin tone/eye-color. I was in charge of costuming and makeup for the performance groups that our daughters belonged to for years, and African American, Native American, and dark-skinned Hispanic girls required totally different colors, otherwise their skin looked ashy, and colors that nicely complemented a fair-skinned girl, made a girl with darker skin look like one of the walking dead, and colors that looked great on a dark skinned girl made a fairer girl look garish. Something to think about.

 

[chrono]

99%???? Again, that's your agenda/opinion. I do not believe that 99% of teenage girls love all things makeup. I think that the percentage is far lower than that and your comment demonstrates that clearly, this is more about you/your agenda/your perceptions, than the family in need. It's sounds to me like you've already made up your mind, so gift as you see fit. Maybe next time, though, don't ask for opinions when you don't really care to hear them. For what it's worth, the no makeup for a 13 year-old girl is not just my opinion. It is actually the opinion of the majority in this thread and I think that speaks volumes, but you just don't care to hear it. It's nothing personal - no hard feelings. It's just dialogue and we are all entitled to our opinions. I'm sure that we can all agree that helping a family in need is what's most important here.

+1. I rarely have to type a reponse in Hangout discussions because MomHappy always explains herself so articulately.

 

[dragonfly411]

First - Sorry but I'm not sorry for what I said. I sponsor families and it isn't about me giving them what I think they should have.

I mentioned those ideas because they are a bit more age friendly than makeup.

The 7 habits of Highly Effective Teens is a follow up to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Both have been shown to be incredibly inspiring to people, and help them to work harder and achieve goals in life. It might help her to make a huge future for herself. I think your makeup is boring.

Have a nice one.

You can feel that way if you choose, I think your books sound boring, unhelpful and phony. Books don't help people work harder or achieve goals, working hard and seeing results does. Agree to disagree. You're being rude and obnoxious though, calling me out about what you think is a luxury item ON A LUXURY ITEM FORUM. Irony.

I will have a nice one.

I didn't call you out on a luxury item. I called you out on asking for input and ignoring it, and for ONLY settling on giving a 13 year old girl makeup and generalizing that 13 year old girls are going to be interested an figure it out despite what their parents want. I then offered you another viewpoint of a girl who had NO interest in makeup, and offered some other ideas since you don't want to give her ONLY gift cards. Makeup isn't the way to go. Books DO help people, and no it is not a phony book since it has high ratings and has been proven to be a very beneficial book. READ about something before you decide it's "Phony". I offered multiple ideas though besides the boring book.

You just want your way or no way so I agree with the need for a title change to "Looking for agreement only."

 

[dragonfly411]

99%???? Again, that's your agenda/opinion. I do not believe that 99% of teenage girls love all things makeup. I think that the percentage is far lower than that and your comment demonstrates that clearly, this is more about you/your agenda/your perceptions, than the family in need. It's sounds to me like you've already made up your mind, so gift as you see fit. Maybe next time, though, don't ask for opinions when you don't really care to hear them. For what it's worth, the no makeup for a 13 year-old girl is not just my opinion. It is actually the opinion of the majority in this thread and I think that speaks volumes, but you just don't care to hear it. It's nothing personal - no hard feelings. It's just dialogue and we are all entitled to our opinions. I'm sure that we can all agree that helping a family in need is what's most important here.

+1. I rarely have to type a reponse in Hangout discussions because MomHappy always explains herself so articulately.

+2. Big time.