Imitation

[WishfulThinking]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:04:55 PM
Author: princesss
Alj - (not going to quote since it's so long)


As for the people going and commenting now, since I'm one of the people that did that, I just wanted to throw my $.02 in here about it.


I doubt she'll come back. I'm disappointed about that, definitely. But on the off chance she does come back, I hope she reads them and sees that there are people who don't care about the drama, and want to see more of her lovely ring. If I was her, I wouldn't want to come back. But if I did, it would mean a lot to me to see that there were people that were excited for me. So I wanted to let her know that I love her ring, and would love to see more photos if she ever feels like showing them. But if she feels like giving this community a certain finger and never coming back, I'd understand.

I wasn't going to weigh in on this and just let the more established and articulate members of PS have a go at it. I, too, ditto everything that Alj [of the famous chainsaw!] has said thus far.

I do feel like I should comment now, though, especially in light of what Princess wrote here. When someone has been hurt by something someone has said to them they might not have just disappeared into oblivion. I hoped that PT would be lurking in hopes of some kinder comments, and she has received many, including my own. I have had some very hurtful and imo downright cruel things said to me on PS in the past, and even at times when I acted less than gracefully and considered never coming back I kept track of threads that I knew would make me sad to read. It's hard to stay away from something like that. I know how it feels to have the joy sucked out of your engagement and wedding memories.


On the actual topic at hand, I have to say quite honestly that I would be thrilled if someone wanted to replicate my [admittedly meager] engagement ring, or any other piece of jewelery. ESPECIALLY but certainly not limited to if they were an internet stranger or acquaintance. I once threw a total hissy fit at the age of 14 on an internet forum I frequented back in the day because someone replicated quite closely my beloved screen name. I am so incredibly ashamed of how I acted toward this other little girl and if I could I would take it back. But I was 14, and had I known then what I know now I would have been incredibly flattered that anyone considered me, my chosen handle on a random internet forum, or a piece of jewelery which I hold dear and get an immense amount of pleasure from worthy of the flattery and recognition that is replication. In the past I'd have questioned my ability to "get over" it, but now I know I would be just thrilled. Hey, give me a break... I was 14. 'Nuff said.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:16:08 PM
Author: decodelighted
Ditto to Ajd''s entire post but specifically this part ....

Date: 1/7/2009 1:55:51 PM

Author: Allison D.

You are right about one thing, though....engagement rings are very sentimental pieces. It''s too bad that very thought wasn''t foremost in your mind at the time you posted in PT''s thread about her engagement ring; maybe you would have rethought the choice to pee in her proverbial Cheerios and to take away her enjoyment of her ring. I wonder why weren''t her feelings just as important?

double deco ditto

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:02:30 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/7/2009 2:00:58 PM
Author: CrookedRock
Allison, Bravo to everything you said! No one could have said it better. And thank you for putting your honest opinion out there, it needed to be heard!

That wasn''t Allison...it was Alj.

(with da chainsaw.)

Hehe, well said!!!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:02:30 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/7/2009 2:00:58 PM
Author: CrookedRock
Allison, Bravo to everything you said! No one could have said it better. And thank you for putting your honest opinion out there, it needed to be heard!

That wasn''t Allison...it was Alj.

(with da chainsaw.)

i love Alj

. Allison? she''s no fun.

i hope Alj comes out of her cage and play more often.

 

[misspinky]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:04:55 PM
Author: princesss
Alj - (not going to quote since it''s so long)


As for the people going and commenting now, since I''m one of the people that did that, I just wanted to throw my $.02 in here about it.


I doubt she''ll come back. I''m disappointed about that, definitely. But on the off chance she does come back, I hope she reads them and sees that there are people who don''t care about the drama, and want to see more of her lovely ring. If I was her, I wouldn''t want to come back. But if I did, it would mean a lot to me to see that there were people that were excited for me. So I wanted to let her know that I love her ring, and would love to see more photos if she ever feels like showing them. But if she feels like giving this community a certain finger and never coming back, I''d understand.

A big huge ditto to everything Alj said. I read the thread and instantly thought the comment was very middle-school esque in the vein of "I don''t like him anymore but don''t want to tell him myself so will you go tell him that I don''t like him anymore" I think it''s all good and well to stick up for and support those who we are friends with, but there is definitely a time and a place to do so, and PT''s thread was neither of those.

Along with Princess, I commented on PT''s thread expressing my hope that she will come back and post pictures. Do I think she will? NO. But in case she ever checked the thread again, I wanted her to know that there are a multitude of people on PS that have nothing but happiness for her in their hearts.

To answer the topic of the actual thread:
How would you feel if someone copied your ring?
I would probably smile and think to myself "Gee, I wonder where that idea came from" and then be excited that someone thought I had good enough taste to copy something so precious to me. I would hope the joy they got from their lovely piece was as great as the joy I get from looking at the ring my DH and I put so much time into designing. Who am I to tell someone else they can''t have the ring that makes their heart sing simply because I thought to put the individual (not unique in the slightest) elements together first?

How should you feel if someone copied your ring?
I think you are entitled to feel however you may feel. Everyone reacts differently to different things. I am moved by classical music that is beautifully composed, my sister could care less about the intricacy of the movement from one not to the next. I thought it was a great compliment when my she dyed her hair to match the color of mine, but maybe Victoria Beckham goes to bed every night lamenting the fact that hundreds of people emulated her asymmetrical bob (including myself). However, my mother always taught me that if I couldn''t say something nice, to not say anything at all, and curtailing someone''s joy by expressing someone else''s (IMHO very petty) hurt feelings, is very mean at the very least.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:16:08 PM
Author: decodelighted
Ditto to Ajd''s entire post but specifically this part ....

Date: 1/7/2009 1:55:51 PM
Author: Allison D.
You are right about one thing, though....engagement rings are very sentimental pieces. It''s too bad that very thought wasn''t foremost in your mind at the time you posted in PT''s thread about her engagement ring; maybe you would have rethought the choice to pee in her proverbial Cheerios and to take away her enjoyment of her ring. I wonder why weren''t her feelings just as important?

Yup.

 

[Linda W]

If you will look on Parrot Tulips thread, she is back and promised to post more pictures.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:26:52 PM
Author: Linda W
If you will look on Parrot Tulips thread, she is back and promised to post more pictures.

Oh good! Thanks Linda!

 

[Sizzle]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:26:52 PM
Author: Linda W
If you will look on Parrot Tulips thread, she is back and promised to post more pictures.

I think the classy thing to do, is everyone who threadjacked her happiness should ask the admin to remove their posts and restore what was taken from her... a happy post.

 

[bebe]

Date: 1/6/2009 8:10:38 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 1/6/2009 7:24:03 PM
Author: neatfreak
I''d be annoyed if it was a close friend or someone I saw everyday, especially if their intent was to do the same thing but ''better'' (i.e., a friend wanted to replicate my ring but was sure to mention that hers would be a full carat). That would annoy me to no end.

But someone on PS? No problem and I would be flattered. I expect it when I post my things that someone might like it and want to copy it. And I have certainly drawn inspiration from others here too.

Ditto. NF always says what I think, LOL!!!

It wouldn''t bother me much at all. I''d be flattered if someone else likes my jewelry enough to want something similar.

But as neatfreak said - I had a friend who upgraded her 1ct RB to a 3ct Pear. At the time I had a 1ct Pear on a wide band, flanked by eternity bands.
She copied my ER and bands exactly, but made sure her center stone was much larger. It didn''t upset me, it just showed me what kind of person she was.
She was constantly one upping me on everything for years, house, cars... you name it! It got to be a game, watching and waiting to see what she was
up to next.

 

[Harriet]

May I have some cake? Mushy stuff is about the only thing I can stomach right now.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:26:10 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 1/7/2009 2:16:08 PM
Author: decodelighted
Ditto to Ajd''s entire post but specifically this part ....

Date: 1/7/2009 1:55:51 PM
Author: Allison D.
You are right about one thing, though....engagement rings are very sentimental pieces. It''s too bad that very thought wasn''t foremost in your mind at the time you posted in PT''s thread about her engagement ring; maybe you would have rethought the choice to pee in her proverbial Cheerios and to take away her enjoyment of her ring. I wonder why weren''t her feelings just as important?

Yup.

yup, and yup.

 

[simplysplendid]

Date: 1/6/2009 7:24:03 PM
Author: neatfreak
I''d be annoyed if it was a close friend or someone I saw everyday, especially if their intent was to do the same thing but ''better'' (i.e., a friend wanted to replicate my ring but was sure to mention that hers would be a full carat). That would annoy me to no end.

But someone on PS? No problem and I would be flattered. I expect it when I post my things that someone might like it and want to copy it. And I have certainly drawn inspiration from others here too.

ditto again

 

[princesss]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:45:26 PM
Author: Harriet
May I have some cake? Mushy stuff is about the only thing I can stomach right now.

Cake? Nah....PIE!

But cake too, I guess...

 

[Sizzle]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:36:33 PM
Author: bebe

Date: 1/6/2009 8:10:38 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 1/6/2009 7:24:03 PM
Author: neatfreak
I''d be annoyed if it was a close friend or someone I saw everyday, especially if their intent was to do the same thing but ''better'' (i.e., a friend wanted to replicate my ring but was sure to mention that hers would be a full carat). That would annoy me to no end.

But someone on PS? No problem and I would be flattered. I expect it when I post my things that someone might like it and want to copy it. And I have certainly drawn inspiration from others here too.

Ditto. NF always says what I think, LOL!!!

It wouldn''t bother me much at all. I''d be flattered if someone else likes my jewelry enough to want something similar.

But as neatfreak said - I had a friend who upgraded her 1ct RB to a 3ct Pear. At the time I had a 1ct Pear on a wide band, flanked by eternity bands.
She copied my ER and bands exactly, but made sure her center stone was much larger. It didn''t upset me, it just showed me what kind of person she was.
She was constantly one upping me on everything for years, house, cars... you name it! It got to be a game, watching and waiting to see what she was
up to next.

Glad to hear you say that! Is your ring the one in your Avatar!???? YUM!!!!!!

 

[violet3]

I don''t think i would care at all if someone copied/imitated my choices in jewelry, whether it was someone on PS or someone i saw every day.

i have no engagement ring to speak of, so maybe i would feel differently about that than i would about other jewels, but i don''t really think so. My ring is being made right now - it''s an eternity band, so not all that unique, but the setting is a U-prong which makes it a little different i suppose. I would never have known about it if i had not found PS...you have to get your inspiration from somewhere, right? Whenever i see a post about something similar i get REALLY excited to be able to talk about it and/or recommend it to another PSer.

I plan on wearing the eternity band with a flat band eventually and that''s it. One of my best friends just said she wants to have one made so she can wear her platinum wedding band and the eternity band together and leave her Ering at home while she''s at work. FYI, we work together...so we''ll have pretty much exactly the same set. The thought doesn''t bother me at all - in fact i think it''s kind of fun when people share tastes in jewelry.

Let''s face it, plenty of people may say they like your jewelry and ooh and ahh over it, but if they want to actually wear something similar on a daily basis, you know they think you have great taste!

I suppose my excitement over something i find beautiful and get to wear every day is completely unrelated to and could never be diminished by what anyone else is wearing on their fingers/ears/arms....particularly if it''s someone i don''t know at all on the internet and have no chance of seeing in real life.

 

[VRBeauty]

Hi Harriet

! I hope you feel better soon. If the PS pie doesn''t do the trick, that planned trip to Leon Mege should help!

Thank you for your quick thinking in separating this discussion from Parrot Tulip''s original thread about her e-ring. It''s been a fascinating discussion that deserves its own venue -- as does the original thread.

SurfGirl, if if you happen to check in... I always look forward to your PS contributions, and I hope you''ll continue to be an active part of this community.

 

[laurel25]

Date: 1/7/2009 1:55:51 PM
Author: Allison D.
You are right about one thing, though....engagement rings are very sentimental pieces. It''s too bad that very thought wasn''t foremost in your mind at the time you posted in PT''s thread about her engagement ring; maybe you would have rethought the choice to pee in her proverbial Cheerios and to take away her enjoyment of her ring. I wonder why weren''t her feelings just as important?

Ditto everything Allison said in this post.

 

[iheartscience]

Goodness! Go out of town for a few days and look what you miss! Ditto to everything Alj, TGal and deco wrote in this thread. I''m really just shocked that this is an issue, and I''m even more shocked that it was posted about in Parrot''s thread. I mean mouth agape along with TGal kind of shocked. It seems very high drama from peeps I wouldn''t think of as high drama. The high school metaphor Alj used is apt.

I''m glad Parrot is going to post more pics and I hope this hasn''t put a damper on her excitement at all.

 

[Elmorton]

Re: Original topic -

I once had a dream that a friend of my SIL copied my ring only with a bigger diamond. I was so angry in the dream that I woke up shaking. So I''m pretty confident I know what my initial/gut reaction would be, though I''m embarrassed to admit it.

But would I ever breathe a word of that aloud other to anyone but possibly DH (who has the same emotional attachment to my ring)? Never. Would I get over it? Yes, quickly. This is something my parents talked to me about in Jr. High - copying is a form of flattery. It''s petty and silly to spend time thinking about it.

Recently, I gave my DH a couple of rings that he could trade in at my jeweler''s should he decide to buy anything there. Among the rings was my high school class ring. In high school, I had a BFF who was a year older than me. We were in all the same activities. When it came to getting a class ring, I took a good look at hers to see what the thing would look like once I received mine. I liked all the choices she''d made - she had music notes put under the stone, she had a faceted one instead of smooth, and because her birthday was in September, she had a blue stone. My birthday is in April. I didn''t like how the clear stone looked, and since our school colors were orange and blue, I decided to do a blue stone. When the ring came, my friend made some mean-toned comment about "way to copy mine." I didn''t realize that it upset her and I felt small and foolish when she made the comment. I really don''t have any good memories about high school, but 10 years later, still seeing it as "her" ring made it pretty easy to melt down. Those feelings were pretty stupid considering that it''s not like my friend''s ring was an original, either! We had a limited amount of choices and I went with the things I liked.

PS should be different from high school. I came here originally because I wanted to know what an EC looked like in a different setting (all I could find IRL was a 3 stone, a solitaire with halo, and in a simple cathedral setting). I looked through SMTR for hours getting ideas, and finally, I found my setting. Sometimes I actually hope that someone will post my setting - I want to know what it would look like with a different cut, a different size, with a different band. A few months ago, I started helping my mom with a colored stone project. When the CADs came out funky, I marched in with about 10 different pictures - of Neakfreak''s bezel, of LaurenthePartier''s bezel, and a few that I don''t even remember whose rings they belonged to. Did I feel like I needed to ask permission? Did I feel like I was doing anything wrong? Of course not. In my mind, rings on PS are posted because they display the possibilities beyond what you see in the case when you walk into a jewelry store, and the best part is that there are real photos beyond what''s available on a vendor''s site.

 

[Gayletmom]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:45:26 PM
Author: Harriet
May I have some cake? Mushy stuff is about the only thing I can stomach right now.

Does that mean you are feeling better Harriet?

Get well soon!

 

[onedrop]

Wow! This is definitely a hot topic...8 pages???? In any case, I don''t have much to add except to co-sign with Alj, TGal and Deco on this issue. It''s a shame that a fellow PSer got jumped on enough so as to feel bad about sharing a gorgeous ring in her possession. I feel worse about that than any issues with imitation. In my own case, my original e-ring was a version of Lynn B''s fishtail pave style ring and she could not have been more gracious with me in helping me decide on a style. How can one NOT be inspired by all of the gorgeous and creative rings and other pieces of jewelry that we see around PS? If people no longer feel inclined to share for fear of being jumped on for "imitating" then haven''t we gotten away from one of the best things about PS: namely sharing our sparklies?

 

[fieryred33143]

I wonder if the reaction would be different if the one that is doing the imitation reaches out to the original owner and gives them a heads up?

It seems like those that were inspired by other PS rings and have posted about it on here did reach out to the original owner first which I think is not entirely necessary but definitely appreciated and courteous.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/7/2009 3:13:33 PM
Author: VRBeauty
Hi Harriet

! I hope you feel better soon. If the PS pie doesn''t do the trick, that planned trip to Leon Mege should help!

Thank you for your quick thinking in separating this discussion from Parrot Tulip''s original thread about her e-ring. It''s been a fascinating discussion that deserves its own venue -- as does the original thread.

SurfGirl, if if you happen to check in... I always look forward to your PS contributions, and I hope you''ll continue to be an active part of this community.

I would be surprised if she didn''t come back. She''s made claims about thinking of leaving at least twice before but always seems to find her way back here. At least enough to see her ring was copied.

Besides, would you really want to leave PS with the legacy of one of the pettiest PS acts ever done?

(consider that a gauntlet thrown, hee hee.)

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/7/2009 4:16:05 PM
Author: fieryred33143
I wonder if the reaction would be different if the one that is doing the imitation reaches out to the original owner and gives them a heads up?

It seems like those that were inspired by other PS rings and have posted about it on here did reach out to the original owner first which I think is not entirely necessary but definitely appreciated and courteous.

I agree fiery, it''s appreciated and courteous, but not necessary. What if surfgirl had said, "Sorry, but no." Where does that leave the person asking? Barring a copyright, everything is fair game. And to make the point that others have made, SG''s ring was not an original piece designed by (or for) her. It was a piece in existence. That''s what makes it all the more ridiculous.

People are going to feel what they feel. Rational or not, it is what it is. But like Harriet said, hopefully you''d try and get to a place where you realize you''re just being sort of lame.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/7/2009 4:22:01 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 1/7/2009 4:16:05 PM
Author: fieryred33143
I wonder if the reaction would be different if the one that is doing the imitation reaches out to the original owner and gives them a heads up?

It seems like those that were inspired by other PS rings and have posted about it on here did reach out to the original owner first which I think is not entirely necessary but definitely appreciated and courteous.

I agree fiery, it''s appreciated and courteous, but not necessary. What if surfgirl had said, ''Sorry, but no.'' Where does that leave the person asking? Barring a copyright, everything is fair game. And to make the point that others have made, SG''s ring was not an original piece designed by (or for) her. It was a piece in existence. That''s what makes it all the more ridiculous.

People are going to feel what they feel. Rational or not, it is what it is. But like Harriet said, hopefully you''d try and get to a place where you realize you''re just being sort of lame.

I don''t think anyone should ask for permission because of exactly what you wrote: what if they say ''sorry but no.'' But I have seen a lot of times where ppl will call out other PSers and tell them how much they love their ring and want to do something similar, and no one has ever responded negatively (at least in the short time I''ve been here

)

 

[onedrop]

Date: 1/7/2009 4:16:05 PM
Author: fieryred33143
I wonder if the reaction would be different if the one that is doing the imitation reaches out to the original owner and gives them a heads up?

It seems like those that were inspired by other PS rings and have posted about it on here did reach out to the original owner first which I think is not entirely necessary but definitely appreciated and courteous.

fiery: I think you have a point with your question about reaching out first before "imitating" a design. In theory it''s probably a good thing to do...but really is it necessary? If I fell in love with another PSers setting (original or not), and my heart was set on it, I doubt I''d move on to something else if that person were not in favor of me using it as inspiration for piece.

 

[Eva17]

Wow this thread is on fire!!!!

So much drama. Reminds me of H.S. (i hated H.S)


to answer original question.. i wouldn''t care at all if design was copied.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 1/7/2009 2:45:26 PM
Author: Harriet

May I have some cake? Mushy stuff is about the only thing I can stomach right now.

I know you said in another thread that you don''t have chicken soup in the house, just cake, but I have to tell you that I have been keeping my eye on you and and I am going to be sending you another cake in the near future. You are currently at 9,338 postings and at 10,000 you get a cake. I think you may get something else, too, but my concern is the cake and that is what I worry about .


Deb

 

[misspinky]

Date: 1/7/2009 4:29:41 PM
Author: onedrop

Date: 1/7/2009 4:16:05 PM

Author: fieryred33143

I wonder if the reaction would be different if the one that is doing the imitation reaches out to the original owner and gives them a heads up?


It seems like those that were inspired by other PS rings and have posted about it on here did reach out to the original owner first which I think is not entirely necessary but definitely appreciated and courteous.

fiery: I think you have a point with your question about reaching out first before ''imitating'' a design. In theory it''s probably a good thing to do...but really is it necessary? If I fell in love with another PSers setting (original or not), and my heart was set on it, I doubt I''d move on to something else if that person were not in favor of me using it as inspiration for piece.

I agree with you that it might be a nice sentiment to "ask" the person if they''re okay with basing your design off of something they own, but in no way necessary at all. In fact, if I asked someone and they said no, I would probably be more inclined to do it anyway because I hate it when people tell me I can''t do something.

Plus, if my heart were truly set on it, I definitely wouldn''t let the objection of what basically amounts to a stranger (albeit a stranger who I respect and I think has great taste in jewelery) keep me from getting what my heart desires.