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I'm a widow

Just wanted to say I was thinking of you again this morning. Hope all is well as it can be.
 
Pinto, Sweetie, those moments of turning to speak to your dear husband will probably return from time to time. He may be gone, but he's still with you.

Reading about the 'witness', if she just wanted to say to the family that he didn't suffer, that could have been in the article. Including her phone number was odd. Attending the wake was odd. Getting together with your MIL was odd. By 'odd', I mean inappropriate, out-of-line, etc.

PintoBean said:
My MIL called me today and told me that the woman feeling compelled to reach out to the family was a message from my husband.
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The above screams to me that this woman is laying the foundation for 'passing' further messages from your dear husband, or 'contacting' your dear husband on behalf of your MIL and FIL; however, an exchange of money to 'thank' her for her time, or improve the 'connection', might be suggested. If this occurs, it wouldn't be the first time that grieving people find themselves handing out money to strangers so that there can be contact with the loved one. I hope I'm wrong.

Although your therapy session is early, you should consider having someone drive you; not to go into the appointment with you, but to be able to drive you home. It might be hard to focus on driving after your appointments. Don't hesitate to ask just because you think the appointment is early.

Sending you love, hugs and prayers for comfort.
 
I think I might hire a private investigator or have the police on notice. It seems someone would know who she is and what her motives may be. Does she do this to other people? Is she lonely and needs attention? One never knows. I hope you can feel your husband with you.
 
Last night was rough. @Tacori E-ring suggested I seek out groups bc they are free and can help me on my road to "recovery". To stop myself from crying in the shower I decided to go into silly mode. I told myself I should try to find the most absurd group I can - like butter stick eating support group. But then I could see myself losing my cool after 20 minutes and declaring, "I thought you guys would understand my margarine stick eating issues but clearly you don't!" And marching out. Well, it was funnier in my head... :confused:

I slept all day. I am so tired today. I was emailed a draft accident report. I can't read it yet. I heard a call come in from car insurance claims adjuster that has been assigned to my case, introducing herself on the answering machine. My FIL called and told me that the police will be examining the vehicle a few more weeks.

On a positive note, it looks like I've kicked my coffee habit. I guess I can save coffee for the super tired mornings now.

I'm going to lie down again and if I don't fall asleep prop myself up with the husband pillow (how ironic) and crochet.

This is what I'm making for cousin J bc he likes green and gray (some of the greens are more green blue lolololol)... egads my toesies!
image.jpg
 
Pinto! That is SO PRETTY! Wow, you are talented at crocheting (is that even a word?). I wish I could do stuff like that. I thought of you again yesterday because for the first time I saw a commercial about that space-ship looking pooper scooper you have on your profile pic :) It made me smile and wonder how you were.

yay for kicking your coffee habit! It's healthier to be less "dependent" on caffeine--so many of us (myself included) are, and get headachy and exhausted without it.
 
PintoBean said:
Old habits are hard to break. Yesterday, when I saw Nordstrom's half yearly sale signs, I had to stop myself from heading to the men's shoes dept to look for shoes for DH. Just now, I was trying to push a trundle under the day bed, and a cat crawled underneath. I wanted to call out to DH for help and had to stop myself (again) :sick:

It is definitely more difficult again (tonight) without someone else under the roof with me. :cry:
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I wish I could give you a hug.


PintoBean said:
Last night was rough. @Tacori E-ring suggested I seek out groups bc they are free and can help me on my road to "recovery". To stop myself from crying in the shower I decided to go into silly mode. I told myself I should try to find the most absurd group I can - like butter stick eating support group. But then I could see myself losing my cool after 20 minutes and declaring, "I thought you guys would understand my margarine stick eating issues but clearly you don't!" And marching out. Well, it was funnier in my head... :confused:

I slept all day. I am so tired today. I was emailed a draft accident report. I can't read it yet. I heard a call come in from car insurance claims adjuster that has been assigned to my case, introducing herself on the answering machine. My FIL called and told me that the police will be examining the vehicle a few more weeks.

On a positive note, it looks like I've kicked my coffee habit. I guess I can save coffee for the super tired mornings now.

I'm going to lie down again and if I don't fall asleep prop myself up with the husband pillow (how ironic) and crochet.

This is what I'm making for cousin J bc he likes green and gray (some of the greens are more green blue lolololol)... egads my toesies!
image.jpg
Click to expand...
SO WHAT IF IT'S NOT GRASS FED!

I actually laughed at the idea too, so do it.
 
PB,
I hope you are sleeping and wake up feeling rested. I'm sorry you've had to deal with well-meaning Frankie and that strange "witness".

Sending you lots more hugs. Glad your FIL is taking care of watching the car for you. That is one fewer thing to deal with right this minute.

The accident report... I can't imagine. Please be kind to yourself and only look when ready. Maybe something to take with you to your therapy appointment and read with your therapist. (Please, do have someone drive you so you don't have to drive after. Therapy is draining sometimes even with less serious topics.)
 
PInto, I wish I could give you a hug honey. The blanket you are making for your cousin is beautiful. Can you call the doctor and ask if they can give you anything to help you sleep at night?
 
PB that is so pretty and your kitties are lovely. Thinking of you many times per day.
 
There is a shy bladder support group. So there IS something for everyone. Remember I am just a phone call away. I actually think the shower is the perfect place to cry. Just feel what you need to feel. Laugh, cry, yell, break some dishes. Reach out when you need to.
 
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The shower is the perfect place to cry, I think. It is my preferred place. Hoping there is something to make you smile in the coming days.
 
Just stopping in to say your in my thoughts today. And can I just say, you are awesome at crochet. That design is so pretty (and the colors :kiss:).
 
Nothing wrong with crying in the shower. Or throwing ice cubes at the bathtub if you're angry. Or my personal favourite, throwing eggs at trees. Whatever gets you through the moment. This is your journey and you decide what suits you at any point. Take care. Thinking of you.
 
I've lost 8 lbs - the grief diet :shifty: (aka I've lost a cat in weight)
 
PintoBean said:
I've lost 8 lbs - the grief diet
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To be followed by the comfort food diet wherein you may find yourself sitting on the sofa eating from a vat full of mashed potatoes whipped with 4 sticks of butter and whipping cream followed by a quart of Hazen Daz...not that I would know anything about that personally.....
 
If your weight gets too low there is nothing like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies to put the weight back on quickly (plus another 8 pounds).
 
My friend has 2lbs of fudge traveling to me via UPS. I've forewarned her that if it arrives melted I'm just going to roll around in it lololol.

I'm glad that even when things got challenging with my husband, I told him that we should still hug and/or kiss before bed and reminded him that he should do that also in the AM before he leaves for work because, what if it's the last time he sees me and we leave on a bitter note? Ha - never thought this shit could happen to me... I know often times I wouldn't remember saying good bye to him in the AM bc I was asleep, but I'm glad that we would try... we tried!
 
Calliecake said:
If your weight gets too low there is nothing like 30 boxes of girl scout cookies to put the weight back on quickly (plus another 8 pounds).
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At my height I could safely lose 90 lbs (of fat) and still be ok lololololol
 
I'm glad that even when things got challenging with my husband, I told him that we should still hug and/or kiss before bed and reminded him that he should do that also in the AM before he leaves for work because, what if it's the last time he sees me and we leave on a bitter note? Ha - never thought this shit could happen to me... I know often times I wouldn't remember saying good bye to him in the AM bc I was asleep, but I'm glad that we would try... we tried!
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This is a wonderful sentiment, and something every couple should do. I think it's important, and I'm glad you shared that with your DH.
 
Please reschedule your Monday appointment, I know u need it, but it's a red flag for bad people to take advantage.

You've been so admirably strong, pls don't let anyone compromise ur privacy and security: the intrusion of outsiders is wrong, trust your instincts & protect yourself & your home.

I work w/ 100+ clients/wk, I know everything about 75 of them, would never compromise my knowledge or publicly contact anyone, something isn't right w this imo.

And wow u crochet expertly! I first thought it was tatting! I can't do either, but sure love the beauty!

Best wishes.
 
wetsawblade said:
Please reschedule your Monday appointment, I know u need it, but it's a red flag for bad people to take advantage.

You've been so admirably strong, pls don't let anyone compromise ur privacy and security: the intrusion of outsiders is wrong, trust your instincts & protect yourself & your home.

I work w/ 100+ clients/wk, I know everything about 75 of them, would never compromise my knowledge or publicly contact anyone, something isn't right w this imo.

And wow u crochet expertly! I first thought it was tatting! I can't do either, but sure love the beauty!

Best wishes.
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The Monday appointment is with a therapist. I'm not sure why you recommend rescheduling it. The therapist and the rescuer are two separate people. I apologize if I wasn't clear.
 
Hi PintoBean, sorry you didn't sleep. I am a shower crier too; I find it a good place. I hope having a good cry helped you feel a little better, I know it usually helps me. Your crochet blanket looks great. I love the colors and it's a great pattern. Looks like your kitties might be considering it a nice place to nap. I hope you get some sleep tonight. You are in my thoughts.

Marcy
 
PintoBean said:
The Monday appointment is with a therapist. I'm not sure why you recommend rescheduling it. The therapist and the rescuer are two separate people. I apologize if I wasn't clear.
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I'm worried that someone might know your house is unoccupied, sorry if I wasn't clear, I only mean well.
(your post said ur appt time)
 
wetsawblade said:
I'm worried that someone might know your house is unoccupied, sorry if I wasn't clear, I only mean well.
(your post said ur appt time)
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Oh... no worries...I live with seniors and they have nothing better to do than to spy on each other. Like, oh, so and so put their garbage out an hour before everyone else. They should get a warning letter.

I actually have been known to stop cars I don't know within my community and ask them what they're doing. Ask them if they'd like to know the history of the community, ask them if they've found Jesus because he said he'd be back on Thursday to finish my soffits and it's now Friday. Sometimes if they don't stop, I make an exaggerated revving up motion and start chasing the vehicle with exaggerated arm pumping motions and run with high knees like I'm chasing them. Idk why but they tend to speed up and leave.

Sadly, those handful of PSers that have met me in person can vouch for my special bean-ess. Like at the Chicago Gtg when @Tacori E-ring and her sister asked me if I had to go to bathroom bc it looked like I was doing a pee pee dance and I said no, I'm high bc of the coke (with sugar) I had at lunch and I can't stop dancing. Yes, my smooth moves look like a pee pee dance. (As an afterthought I asked someone to turn some music on... )
 
You rock. Thx for understanding me.
 
PB, you are awesome. Sorry I couldn't fly to Chicago and join you all. If you're ever in the Seattle area, you have to let me know.
 
Beautiful crocheting PintoBean. And love your kitties getting into the photoshoot.:love: Those sweet babies. My furry crew and I are sending you continued good thoughts and hugs.
 
PB, you are a riot with mad crocheting skills and a sense of humor that never quits!! I'm glad that you are allowing yourself to feel the gamut of emotions that you are in the midst of...shower crying is very therapeutic, as is fudge! Thanks for sharing you and your hubby's morning/evening routine. We used to do that and have sadly gotten out of the habit as our kids have gotten older (not even sure when/how it happened). I'm going to make an effort to revive this ritual. It's important.
I hope that today is "ok" as it can be....
 
PintoBean said:
My friend has 2lbs of fudge traveling to me via UPS. I've forewarned her that if it arrives melted I'm just going to roll around in it lololol.

I'm glad that even when things got challenging with my husband, I told him that we should still hug and/or kiss before bed and reminded him that he should do that also in the AM before he leaves for work because, what if it's the last time he sees me and we leave on a bitter note? Ha - never thought this shit could happen to me... I know often times I wouldn't remember saying good bye to him in the AM bc I was asleep, but I'm glad that we would try... we tried!
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My offer still stands. Gooey Butter cake doesn't melt. But you will gain that weight back. In a second.

This is as close to a hug as I can find. :kiss::kiss::kiss:
 
I've come very late to this thread. Just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss PB. Hugs and blessings.
 
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