I'm a widow

[sweet_blossom]

Hello PintoBean, Thinking of you. Hug.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Plain white rice works best for me when it is difficult to eat. Hope you are able to get some rest.

 

[december-fire]

Pinto, when you're grieving, its hard to remember things such as eating and drinking fluids.
It can be even harder to force yourself to eat.
However, try to do what you can so that you stay hydrated and get some nutrition.

Try to eat protein; meat, fish, eggs, cheese, whatever you can manage.
As elle suggested, try to keep a bottle of water nearby, if not in your hands.

If you weren't clear with your BIL, please let him and some others know that you're finding it hard to remember to stay hydrated and eat. Let them help you. I'm sure family and friends would be happy to have you over or bring food to your house.

I have the sense that you're the type of person people turn to for help.
For now, try to let others do what they can for you.
Accept their kindness and love, and ask for what you need.

Sweetie, I'm continuously sending you love, hugs and comforting prayers.

 

[ringo865]

Nothing like a good pee. Keep up the water intake. We're all thinking about you Pinto.

 

[derbygal]

Pinto I'm thinking of you. I can't express how sorry I am to hear about your hubby.

 

[whitewave]

Clear broth from a Japanese restaurant might work...

 

[whitewave]

My BIL came by impromptu and just in time. Bad dehydration (dark urine), and pounding heart probably exacerbated by the cough medicine I've been taking. After some initial hydration I'm down from heart rate of 110 to 90 something. I am having a hard time eating. Had half a croissant around 130. Just having a quarter of a bagel now with butter.

You need salt and electrolytes. Dehydration can put you into heart arrhythmias because it messes with the body's electrical system. If you are having trouble eating, try to eat fats and protein (more calories since you are eating less) and broths.

Also have them bring you epsom salts for a bath soak (magnesium).

 

[luv2sparkle]

That is scary Pinto. So glad you are ok.

 

[Queenie60]

No joke I've never been happier about having to go to the bathroom as I was earlier. That meant I was hydrated again. I almost passed out earlier - I had 2/3 signs - muffled hearing and queasy stomach. The last sign is the vision turning black. Dodged that bullet.

I asked to be taken to get a blow out so it's one last thing I need to worry about. I felt bad worrying the shampoo girl as tears streamed down my face. I explained to the stylist why I was upset and he asked if I wanted to talk or not so I opted for a little chatter.

Sometimes it's nice to tell your thoughts to your hair stylist and others as they're not part of your every day world. It's good that you're getting out a bit. I know that tomorrow and Friday are going to be trying days. Keep your head up, eat well and stay hydrated. Protein and fruit. Take care Pinto, you're in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[whitewave]

Fruit is good because it has a high water content.

 

[marcy]

I am thinking of you. I am glad you got hydrated today and ate a little food today.

 

[lyra]

You might try some meal replacement drinks, like Glucerna or Boost. I only get the chocolate flavour. They do the trick and are small. Just a thought. I always have them in the pantry. Take care.

 

[tyty333]

Wishing you strength for tomorrow, Friday, and the days ahead. Please keep your liquid intake up...set your phone to remind yourself to drink. I know
food is the last thing on your mind and probably will be for a while but until you can handle a meal, at least try to eat some small snacks...just keep trying.

I dont really think you should be alone at this time.

 

[whitewave]

Thinking of you tomorrow.

The bath will help with dehydration because your skin will absorb moisture... but I doubt it can replace ingesting fluids. Don't make it too hot either, Take a just warm bath and have a good cry in the tub.

Yes, call someone to be with you tonight and I hope someone will stay at your house tomorrow while you are at services... always good to have someone home to make sure no one breaks in when no one is there. I don't mean to rattle you; it's just a good precaution.In our family it's usually a cousin.

 

[PintoBean]

I'm alone tonight. I wish I weren't alone but I am. I got home after 9 and gathered the garbage to take out and dropped in a load of laundry. I figured it will finish in the washer before I go to bed and then I can put it in the dryer and set it and forget it.

I'm one of those people who don't really have local friends without heavy family obligations.

I joked to my BIL at least my husband got to go young and beautiful. People will look at his portrait at his best and still recognize him. I said when we go, people will be like damn that was HIM/HER back in the day?!?! Unrecognizable! Clearly s/he peaked at 20!

 

[marcy]

Snuggle with your kitties. I hope you get some sleep tonight.

 

[december-fire]

I wish you weren't alone.

I know you said your local friends have heavy family obligations, but perhaps they could, and would, happily make arrangements so that they could be with you.

I don't know if your Mother or someone else could stay with you for a while.

If you have trouble asking directly, perhaps you could just mention that you're finding it hard to be alone. Someone might speak up and offer to stay with you.

Although we're not there physically, your PS family is with you in spirit.

Big Hugs

 

[wetsawblade]

You're not alone in spirit, an entire world cares for you, deservedly so.

One "mommy" type admonition in agreement with other wise posters:
please pay attention to your hydration. Without liquids, even frequent short sips, it's very easy & fast to unknowingly fall into a very unhealthy situation.

Healing wishes to you.

[Edited to remove a random smilie that I mistakenly accessed]

 

[Calliecake]

Pinto, Please take some snacks with you tomorrow. They make lots of snack that come in small packages that easily fit in your pocket or bag. Please ask someone to pick something like that up for you so you get something in your stomach the next few days while you are away from home. I'm sorry if I'm sounding too motherly but I don't want you to get weak or dizzy. I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Hugs

 

[mary poppins]

Try to eat protein; meat, fish, eggs, cheese, whatever you can manage.
As elle suggested, try to keep a bottle of water nearby, if not in your hands.

Thought about you all day and thinking about you tonight.

+1 on making sure you eat protein so you have energy and your blood sugar doesn't drop and cause you to be lightheaded, dizzy or pass out.

Sending big hugs and love to you. You are not alone. We are here for you.

 

[lovedogs]

awww PB: I hate that you are alone. Hate hate hate. I really wish someone was staying with you. Also, glad to hear that you had someone to help you with the dehydration--that can be really scary. I agree with others about working hard to remember to eat/drink. I know how hard it is when you are grieving, but try the small snacks idea/meal replacement shakes/drinks with some electrolytes, etc.

Wishing you the best always, and sending strength and healing vibes to you for the next few days and beyond.

 

[GliderPoss]

I am so so sorry sweetheart. Such an awful shock. Sending virtual hugs & condolences. We are all here for you to talk to at anytime...

 

[missy]

Thinking of you today and tomorrow PB and all the days after that when things quiet down and you are alone with your thoughts. We are here for you to listen and be a source of support and comfort and whatever you need us to be. (((Hugs))).

 

[RosieR]

I don't know you PintoBean, but you have always made me laugh out loud with your posts. Stay strong and all the best for today and tomorrow.

 

[foxinsox]

PB you've been in my thoughts all day.
Tomorrow will be surreal and awful and beautiful. Is there any way you can have some time alone with your husband at the funeral home before you bury him? I sat with my dad before we buried him telling him what we'd chosen for his music and how the funeral service was going to go. It really stayed with me because all the rest of the funeral service was public and about the rest of the family experience.
You deserve the time to say goodbye to your husband privately without other people imposing their grief on yours. Of course, if you can't face it, that's fine too - there's no one right answer for what you do or don't do - this is your grief and your mourning. I wish you all the strength, love and support for tomorrow and the days to come

 

[december-fire]

Pinto, we're all with you in spirit.
Lean on those around you.

Sending love, hugs and prayers.

 

[Cluless]

Pinto, please have some breakfast if the weather is nice eat in your garden, listen to the birds, take deep breaths. When at the funeral home if it just becomes too much for you it's ok to get up and go outside for a breath of fresh air. Sending hugs of confort and strenght xo

 

[junebug17]

Thinking of you today PintoBean and sending thoughts of love and comfort…please try to eat and drink a little…lean on your loved ones for any support you need.

 

[vintagelover229]

I haven't chimed in but I've been following your posts. My heart breaks for you pinto. I'm not sure how old you are, but I didn't think you were very old and I know you hadn't been married too long. Don't be hard on yourself at all, and as much as your an introvert try and reach out to the few you do trust and let them in. There is a saying, time doesn't make it easier it just makes it different. There will be a day where you have a new normal. Its going to take time, probably a long time. Do you have outside interests other than jewelery as a hobby? Maybe after a bit it may be worth while to go out and find a womens group to join. I'm a textile artist so I would be reaching out to the local fiber community but maybe purse an interest you've had but you didn't have much time for. Even if its those silly/fun wine and learn to paint places, local tours for things that interest you. You'd be surprised at just what is in the Chicago area. There probably is even a local grief for widows group, and I am certain if anyone could relate, they could.

You don't have to be strong right now. You don't have to be strong for a long time, but you do have to survive. It's a tough pill to swallow and to accept but your going to get though this. Think if the situtaion was reversed, how you would want your husband to live despite your death. Think of the things he would want you to do, and maybe try them.

Sleep in his shirts. Don't wash his pillow. Keep his body wash and stuff to remember the smell of him and allow that to give you a little comfort (and grief) at the same time.

I don't get to the states much but I do believe your in the Chicago area. I will be coming though briefly on the 14th if you wanted to do lunch and maybe look at bling. If this is something that would interest you, hanging out with a heavily pregnant slightly hippie chick bling and textile lover let me know. Even if its just to cry. My boys are pretty cute-if you weren't up for bling we could do the zoo or something else too just to get you out of the routine.

Hugs and prayers your way. Moment by moment, one day at a time.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Thinking and praying for you today especially as you go through the services.