I'm a widow

[AGBF]

This was what I meant when I said that I hope you don't have people breaking the news before you're ready. It enrages me when things like this happen, and the family and friends often don't even all know before things are all over social media. People who aren't even in the inner circle are making it all about themselves, and the widow and close family can't even get time to themselves.

You wear whatever the f$ck you want! All of it, none of it, upgrade it or buy a honker to go with it. Whatever. You. Want.

Your family and friends will get you through the services and the next however long you need them. Right now you will need them all the most, and you reach out to anyone, all of us, any of us, any of them, as much as you need to. In a few months it might be less of a crushing blow, but there will be moments you need them again. You're going to find out who your true friends are and who really counts.

I love you, ame. I hope that PB listens to you and rainwood and allows her own feisty spirit to rule the day. It isn't her job to please anyone when she has just lost her husband!!!

 

[PintoBean]

I went to bed after 1 and woke up to my mother calling me at 730 asking if I'm sleeping lol. That seemed to open the floodgates to more calls. I finally got to take a nap at 130 and will head over to my in laws for a little family time.

 

[kenny]

You're allowed to turn off your phone if you want to.
You're also allowed to change your outgoing message to some version of, "I vant to be alone, and will be in touch when I'm ready, and not so overwhelmed."

That, or leave it all how it is.
You're in charge.
I just sensed a bit of a annoyance in your post.
Perhaps moreso than any other time in your life, this is your time.

 

[telephone89]

Pinto I am so sorry to hear this I'm sure words from a rando internet person don't mean much, but I am still sending you lots of love and well wishes <3

 

[SandyK]

Oh PintoBean I am so, so sorry for your loss. Life can be so terribly unfair and this is just not right. I'm relatively new here, but I just wanted to say that I've always loved reading your posts. You have such an irrepressible and irreverent sense of humor and spirit and I have no doubt that you brought so much joy to your husband. I hope that the beautiful memories you shared will help bring you comfort in the days to come.

 

[jeweln]

Pintobean
I rarely post but I had been following all your fabulous diamond projects . My eyes teared up when I read your post . May God help you .

 

[Queenie60]

I've been thinking about you all day PB. I'm hoping that you gain more strength each and every day. Take care or yourself. Glad you have many family members around to take on some of the necessary things that need to be done. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Indylady]

Pinto, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Sending you lots and lots of virtual love. I'm not sure where in the country you live, but if you ever want to connect off PS, feel free to find me on LT. I'll be thinking of you. I'm so sorry again. I wish that I could be of any help. If there is ever anything at all, please let me know or us on PS know. Sending you every ounce of love and healing I have to offer.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I too have thought of you many times today. I hope you are able to get more rest tonight. Perhaps you can tell those closest to you that you will call them when you wake up rather than the other way around. I agree with others - this is your time and you get to call the shots.

 

[Patty]

Pinto, I rarely post any more but I wanted to offer you my condolences. What a horrible shock. There is no right or wrong way to grieve...take your time and do whatever you need to take care of yourself. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[chemgirl]

More hugs!

Please remember that nobody is going to be offended if you don't feel up to doing something you think you should. That includes answering the phone and visiting. If you want to do those things great, if you want to hide that's totally fine too. If you feel overwhelmed with anything please ask for help.

You've always seemed like the type to try and do what you can to help other people. You really don't have to do that right now. Everyone around you loves you and will understand.

 

[KaeKae]

Thinking of you today, Pinto.

 

[girlyglam]

I am so so sorry, Pinto.

 

[marcy]

You've been in my thoughts today. Big hugs.

 

[Calliecake]

PInto Bean, Please know we are all here for you. I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight. Hugs

 

[december-fire]

Pinto,

Do you have someone staying with you?

When dealing with such a terrible shock and loss, it can be hard to do simple things or put one foot in front of the next.

I hope you have someone with you to drive you places, remind you to eat, answer the phone and let people know you're sleeping, feed your furbabies, whatever will help you.

Accept offers of help.
Let people know what might make things somewhat easier for you during this very difficult time.

You'll get through this nightmare, minute by minute, and day by day.
Your family and friends, including your PS family, want to support you.

Sending hugs, love and comforting prayers.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Pinto honey, I know that we have never met but I am right in CT and home a lot (albeit with an almost three year old) so if you need to get out and do something, a drink, a coffee, a walk or whatever, you just say the word and we will make it happen.

You are not alone, we are all here for you.

 

[Polished]

I went to bed thinking of this terrible event last night. I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't know your husband and I don't know you. Perhaps one of my first thoughts was a bit odd; "oh no Pinto is going to lose her sense of humour". I soon learned you hadn't. I hope you also learn that you're stronger than you think you are and more you than you realize.

 

[lilmosun]

I am so sorry to read this..I can't imagine what you are going through. Stay strong and let your friends and family help.

 

[sweet_blossom]

PintoBean, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[PintoBean]

I'm home and it's quiet now. I really miss my husband.

Thursday and Friday will be the services.

 

[PintoBean]

I felt a bit of jealousy when my SIL's friend (her roommate in college and in their first apartment in the real world) drove down to be with her.

While I can appear social, it takes a lot out of me and I'm actually an introvert. I also don't let a lot of people in, but it can be easier over the Internet shielded behind a screen name. My husband and I did everything together. Even when we were just friends, he was the one to drop everything and be there for me. I miss my other half. I am heart broken.

 

[MollyMalone]

How I wish this shocking loss had been spared you, PintoBean. With heartfelt condolences & the tenderest of warm thoughts for you tonight, tomorrow, and in the days, weeks ahead ~ Molly

P.S. This is a virtual delivery of the biggest box of Tate's chocolate chip cookies I could find tonight on the Internet. I hope they are still a favorite of yours.

 

[ringo865]

Pinto, you are just starting your roller coaster ride. I cannot even imagine losing my partner, friend, confidante. I do know about being an introvert, though. I hope you have one or two really close friends or relatives on whom you can lean, cry, or just have around to sit with.

Of course, we are all here too to listen if you want to talk, vent, scream. Or we'll just sit with you.

I'd help you mow thru that box of cookies. Sleep, eat, repeat. Take care of yourself.

 

[luv2sparkle]

My heart breaks for you. I wish so much there was something to ease the heart ache you are feeling. There are no words that could even have any impact, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[lovedogs]

I felt a bit of jealousy when my SIL's friend (her roommate in college and in their first apartment in the real world) drove down to be with her.

While I can appear social, it takes a lot out of me and I'm actually an introvert. I also don't let a lot of people in, but it can be easier over the Internet shielded behind a screen name. My husband and I did everything together. Even when we were just friends, he was the one to drop everything and be there for me. I miss my other half. I am heart broken.

Oh Pinto, I am so sorry. Is no one staying with you? I really hope that you have people to keep you company and just be there for support.

I lived in CT up until 1 year ago. I wish I were still there for no other reason than to come give you a big hug and sit with you eating/crying/in silence/whatever you need. There are just no words.

 

[wetsawblade]

I felt a bit of jealousy when my SIL's friend (her roommate in college and in their first apartment in the real world) drove down to be with her.

While I can appear social, it takes a lot out of me and I'm actually an introvert. I also don't let a lot of people in, but it can be easier over the Internet shielded behind a screen name. My husband and I did everything together. Even when we were just friends, he was the one to drop everything and be there for me. I miss my other half. I am heart broken.

Please forgive yourself for any negative feelings at such a difficult time. I hope you can allow someone near to help support you, and maybe help you maintain your personal space, inner self, and decisions as you choose.

Peaceful thoughts are with you.

 

[MollyMalone]

I love the surf setting on my "white noise" machine. Perhaps the waves' sounds would ease the weight of the quiet for you, yet not be nerve-jangling or annoyingly distracting. I just skimmed through a number of YouTube possibilities, and this is my favorite of what I heard because there are no sea gull cries & it's not as "dramatic" as some; it's more monotonous, in a soothingly good way.

The video runs more than 2-1/2 hours, but you'll see that there's a link to get a MP3 download. And there are similar apps available on iTunes, etc.

 

[Matata]

I'm home and it's quiet now. I really miss my husband.

It's difficult to read of your pain and not be able to take the burden from you. This new path that you must negotiate will seem lonely no matter how many of us here and in your real life walk it with you. In the days and months to come you'll run a gamut of emotions -- fear, anger, guilt, regret. And we will be here to walk you through it. And in my personal experience, the worst to come is when you begin to feel like living again, feel happiness creep back into the dark corners and that's when you'll go to war with guilt. And we will be here to walk you through it.

 

[CJ2008]

I am heart broken.

I am so so sorry Pinto

My heart breaks for you.