I'm a widow

[lyra]

I'm so glad you got some real time PS love today. Ac117 and Gemgirl are very kind. Please know the rest of your PS family is thinking of you and wishing we could do more. Take care PintoBean.

 

[Tekate]

PintoBean.. my heart is so heavy for you. Little things... one step forward.. 3 back... 2 ahead... please remember that you are in shock.. Sending you love.

Kate

I saw my husband and I didn't cry. I feel serene. I touched his hand and it was cold. It gave me closure. That's not him. He's gone.

I took my little bag with my first cat, Kerouac's fur and tucked it in his jacket pocket. Although I said no tie, (he hated them bc he had to wear one for work for years) the family put one on loosely lololol.

Ac117 went out of her way to go to a favorite bakery of mine to get my favorite cookies and my favorite breakfast of chocolate croissants. She helped me with my hair.

 

[Queenie60]

Pinto: We're all here for you. And AC117 - you're a wonderful person. PB, take care and know that you're in my thoughts and prayers all of the time. I am in shock at what you're going through. Time..........

 

[marcy]

You've been in my thoughts today. I am so glad to hear AC117 helped you out today.

 

[Phoenix]

I echo what others have said Hang in there, PB.

AC117 and gemgirl, you ladies are wonderful. Thank you.

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you., PB. Pls remember to take care of yourself.

 

[nkc]

So sorry for your loss

 

[PintoBean]

The amount of people that came during the 2-5 service was amazing. So many people to hug and talk to that I was FINALLY hungry in the evening! The 7-9pm had a line out the door!

I used to work at the same company as my husband. I confronted my former boss who wears a chief hat and asked why no one from the company called me. And asked why, when the insurance rep called the company for the beneficiary contact info, HR said they didn't know, when all employees must file that every year, so the insurance rep had to get the info from the former head of HR Bc she's my friend, and was doubly shocked when he remembered my name as a previous employee. The spineless jellyfish started slinking away from me mid confrontation.

When the current head of HR showed up I asked her the same thing and she gave the lame excuse of, well, since the police came to inform us, we just assumed you wanted to be left alone and then stared at me like a deer in head lights. Coincidentally, one of her HR peeps then texts my cell with some BS about how you know she's busy during the day which is why she can't reach out to me until the evening on her private phone by text. They replaced two good HR people with 7 half wits!

Funny moment... my in-laws all had the same 6th grade teacher. When she sees me, she leans forward and asks in a hushed tone, "the wife?" I reply "yes." Hug her and then say, "I hope no other women show up and say they are also the wife!" Which got her rolling lololol!

 

[lovedogs]

awww Pinto your humor is wonderful. You are such a strong and amazing woman. I'm so sorry about the idiots from HR. That's unbelievable! I would be beyond furious. I'm so glad that you made it through today and finally felt hungry, that's a big step!

 

[AGBF]

Hunger is great for you, PB! GREAT!!! No more vomiting, though. You have to keep down what you eat. Love your humor.

Deb

PS-I knew gemgirl was right across The Sound from me because we have exchanged weather reports over the years. Maybe she can join us and StephanieLynn for a trip to Mystic. How about it, gemgirl?

 

[marcy]

Sounds like an amazing turn out to remember your dear husband. That is nice. That is aggravating about the lack of response from HR. That is pretty poor. Good news you were hungry tonight. Take care. Big hugs to you, AC117, Gemgirl and your family.

 

[Queenie60]

Your getting your sense of humor back! Good to see!. Take care PB - I'm thinking about you all of the time and sending good thoughts your way.!

 

[wetsawblade]

Thx for your honesty & your gracious humor.

I work late hrs, so post late: I hope u have a restful night.

 

[CareBear]

PB, I love that your have kept up your sense of humor. It is truly what makes you so special! It is also wonderful to hear that ac117 and gemgirl were able to physically be there for you. While the rest of us cannot be, we are with you in spirit!

 

[december-fire]

Pinto, Sweetie, you're too funny!

I hope having all those people there gave you a glimpse of how much love is felt for you and your dear husband, and your families. Know that there are many more who feel the same way, even though they may not have been able to attend.

gemgirl, I know you attended to provide some comfort and support for Pinto, but it also gave me a comforting feeling to know you were there. Thank you.

Pinto, of all the fascinating living creatures on this planet, I find I'm most bewildered by the actions and sounds of some members of the human species.

Sending you love, hugs and prayers for peace and strength.

Know that we're all holding you close in our minds and hearts today.

 

[yennyfire]

PB, I am in awe of the strength, grace and humor you've displayed the past few days. You keep doing whatever you need to do to get through each hour, each day. I'm glad you felt hungry, that's a good sign.

Remember that we are here for you. There's always someone listening on PS and we want to help in whatever small way we can. Glad to know that there are some PSers nearby who are able to support you in person. It gave me comfort to know you weren't alone. Sendings hugs and comfort to you...

 

[redwood66]

PB I am also in awe of you like yenny said. Thinking of you today and hoping you can get some food and rest from the past two very trying days. I was so glad to hear of your peace at seeing your husband and tucking the kitty fur in his pocket. You are truly an amazing woman. And forget about the lame HR people because they seem inept.

 

[Cluless]

Ac117 and gemgirl you're 2 Angels Thank you for bieng there for Pinto. Pinto, I'm holding you in my Heart today xo

 

[BlingDreams]

Oh PB, I loved reading your spirit and fire! I love that you called HR on their bullshit. I love that you still made jokes. And I love how you were surrounded by people who came to show you THEIR love.

It sounds like you had your peaceful moment with your husband too. That will bring you such comfort through the years. And how sweet of you to send off some kitty fur with him

Thinking of you today and sending you strength and hugs for this last official ceremony.

Eat. Hydrate. Lean on others for help (with the momentous and the mundane). And most of all, know you're not alone in this.

 

[Queenie60]

One step at a time. May the Lord give you strength to carry through. Take care - you're in my thoughts and prayers today and every day.

 

[ame]

I'm alone tonight. I wish I weren't alone but I am. I got home after 9 and gathered the garbage to take out and dropped in a load of laundry. I figured it will finish in the washer before I go to bed and then I can put it in the dryer and set it and forget it.

I'm one of those people who don't really have local friends without heavy family obligations.

I joked to my BIL at least my husband got to go young and beautiful. People will look at his portrait at his best and still recognize him. I said when we go, people will be like damn that was HIM/HER back in the day?!?! Unrecognizable! Clearly s/he peaked at 20!

I am so glad that your BIL was there to help you get some things done, feed you and get you shuttled around.

I saw my husband and I didn't cry. I feel serene. I touched his hand and it was cold. It gave me closure. That's not him. He's gone.

I took my little bag with my first cat, Kerouac's fur and tucked it in his jacket pocket. Although I said no tie, (he hated them bc he had to wear one for work for years) the family put one on loosely lololol.

Ac117 went out of her way to go to a favorite bakery of mine to get my favorite cookies and my favorite breakfast of chocolate croissants. She helped me with my hair.

@gemgirl spent the afternoon with me. She met a lot of people who are important to my husband and I. I swear I felt all of PS emanating through her. It was such an amazing thing for her to do this for me.

So much gratitude to both of you. @ac117 and @gemgirl I thank you both for being there! I know all of us wish we could be there to support her.

I almost don't know how to feel about your closure. Part of me feels like it's a relief, the rest is just a puddle of emotions. Either way, I am sending you all of my strength and support today.

I'm so glad ac117 was able to be there to help out. Wishing you continued strength PB.

*note to ac117....Thank you for going out of your way to help. Your kindness at a time like this is SO appreciated by those of us who are miles away.

So much this.

The amount of people that came during the 2-5 service was amazing. So many people to hug and talk to that I was FINALLY hungry in the evening! The 7-9pm had a line out the door!

I used to work at the same company as my husband. I confronted my former boss who wears a chief hat and asked why no one from the company called me. And asked why, when the insurance rep called the company for the beneficiary contact info, HR said they didn't know, when all employees must file that every year, so the insurance rep had to get the info from the former head of HR Bc she's my friend, and was doubly shocked when he remembered my name as a previous employee. The spineless jellyfish started slinking away from me mid confrontation.

When the current head of HR showed up I asked her the same thing and she gave the lame excuse of, well, since the police came to inform us, we just assumed you wanted to be left alone and then stared at me like a deer in head lights. Coincidentally, one of her HR peeps then texts my cell with some BS about how you know she's busy during the day which is why she can't reach out to me until the evening on her private phone by text. They replaced two good HR people with 7 half wits!

Funny moment... my in-laws all had the same 6th grade teacher. When she sees me, she leans forward and asks in a hushed tone, "the wife?" I reply "yes." Hug her and then say, "I hope no other women show up and say they are also the wife!" Which got her rolling lololol!

OMG that is hysterical. I love that. I also love that you tore into those jerks. Grief-balls or not for speaking up, they have some nerve showing up like that after having no spine to directly call you and handle things appropriately.

I hope it's some comfort to you that so many people came to pay their respects to you and his family, and that he was clearly beloved by many.

All my best from St. Louis! I am glad that you have some of our local members there to give you hugs on our behalf. Today will be horrible. Tomorrow will probably be worse. The following days...yea they'll f'ing suck ass. But the next ones will be a little better. I hope that you know we will all be there for you and maybe someday there will be a gathering where you and I bump into each other and I can actually hug you in person.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I love that you have maintained your humor amidst the grief. One day at a time, PB.

 

[azstonie]

I am so glad you were supported and held up at the services by so many good people. When I read in your post that you asked the police dept to inform his company of his passing, I thought that was *genius* because frankly it was one less horrible thing for you to do in that immediate moment AND the company would probably ask for a police report to confirm for the insurance, etc., so why not give HR the actual governmental entity to close it quickly and humanely for you.

It used to be that HR worked to benefit both the company and the employees. These days it seems like HR benefits the company and individual employees have to hold HR feet to the fire on every.single.item.

GOOD ON YOU, PB!!!!

 

[autumngems]

PintoBean,
I am not on here much and just saw this, my heart and prayers go out to you at this time.
Please take care of yourself, eat, sleep, and know that people are thinking of you.

 

[VRBeauty]

PintoBean: I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so grateful that acc117 and gemgirl were able to be there, to offer a hand for you to hold through some of the tough bits.

There will be many more difficult moments and days and weeks in the year to come. Just know this - you will make it through! And, that there will also come a time when you will no longer check to be sure you have tissues in your purse before heading out the door!

 

[Puppmom]

PintoBean, I've been following along and I'm glad to hear you're able to maintain your sass and humor. My kind of gal.

This is such a trying time and I hope you have continued support as you settle back into life and then some. It will be hard but you have a great foundation. Sending you lots of love.

 

[tyty333]

PB...I'm so glad that you had a good turnout. Lean on your sense of humor and laugh when you can...I think
the sense is strong in you and it will help you through many a tough situations.

* And big thanks to gem girl too just for being there. The help/strength of another person who cares
really goes a long way.

 

[E B]

Oh, PB. It sounds like your husband was very loved, as are you. Keep taking care of yourself. <3

 

[Calliecake]

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers today Pinto. I am also glad that you have kept your sense of humor. You are a strong woman, please don't ever forget that.

 

[PintoBean]

The most amazing thing happened. We arrive at the church for mass. As I walk around the car, I hear, "hello sweetheart," look up, and see my roommate from 15 years ago. He drove 400 miles to see me. I collapsed in his arms and the damns just broke and I cried and cried and cried. He felt compelled to come because he had lost his younger brother a couple of years ago.

 

[VRBeauty]

That brought me to tears. I'm so glad your friend was there for you to lean on.