I'm a widow

[lovedogs]

Finding a part time job while looking for something sounds like a great idea @PintoBean . Even if it's something that pays less, it will help get you more contact with others, and will help to establish a routine/schedule. Also, LOVE the cat bed/afghan idea.

 

[pearaffair]

+1 to cupcakes

 

[Tacori E-ring]

You have been through so much. Be gentle with yourself. PTSD is a speciality so I would really make sure your therapist knows how to treat it. Medication can help so I'm glad you made the switch. I think you have some with regards to your mother. I know where I work they use exposure therapy. It is a long process but works. I read what you wrote about your therapist. My suggestion is to decide if you are in therapy for support or for skill building. If it is for support and you let her know, she may go back to her initial "persona." If it is for skill building she may be trying to challenge you which is coming across as detached or cold. Whatever it is, tell her how you feel. I know I always appreciate it.

 

[nala]

How are you are doing, Pintobean?

 

[MissGotRocks]

I've been wondering about you too - haven't seen you around. . . .

 

[House Cat]

Hi beautiful lady! Thinking about you...

 

[Vera W]

@PintoBean How are you doing my sweet?

 

[LAJennifer]

Hi @PintoBean fill us in.

 

[lambskin]

Been thinking about you

 

[MissGotRocks]

Enough is enough - where are you PB?

 

[CareBear]

I've been wondering the same! Where are you love?

 

[rainydaze]

Also been wondering. You are loved, and missed 'round these parts.

 

[yennyfire]

Come out, come out wherever you are PB!!

 

[Tekate]

She is often on IG posting fun pix.

 

[AGBF]

She is often on IG posting fun pix.

What is IG? Instagram?

 

[JPie]

What is IG? Instagram?

Yep!

 

[PintoBean]

Not much to write home about. I have 2 part time jobs. They dont do much financially for me. They force me off the internet for stretches at a time which is good. Is it really necessary to have 3 phones and a tablet around me with Netflix playing on the TV at all times? No. Tech breaks for the win.

Had an interview on Monday.

I'm exhausted when I come home from work. I recede and just chat with a handful of internet folks and crochet cat beds with Netflix or prime playing.

A couple Sundays ago was Michael's 40th birthday. It was very difficult leading up to it. I asked for help. I reached out to an IG friend and said let's meet up on Sunday so I have something to do. We had Korean bbq and it was nice meeting him and his wife in person. He also facilitated the sale of 13 cat beds to one of his cat loving friends, who will be giving them out as holiday gifts. He also took some scrap gold for me and got me the best cash I've gotten for gold to date.

I've been crying a bit the past few days bc I'm frustrated that a girl I work with got a FT job through a lead I gave her.

My cleaning lady doesnt celebrate Thanksgiving but she makes Turkey regularly for her family. I asked her to save me some dark meat and skin the next time she makes Turkey. And told her my stuffing preference is sausage stuffing. She was here this wednesday so she wont have food for me till the week after thanksgiving.

I'm watching V bc the idea of lizards under human masks is comforting.

I hate the holidays. The emphasis on family GTG and spending money on family. The weather. The birthdays. I'm hoping a sinkhole swallows me up so I dont have to think about my upcoming birthday. Older...

 

[Gabbycat]

@PintoBean, first, I'm really glad you checked in. I'm among those that have been thinking about you and wondering where you've been.

Second, I feel you on the other person getting the job you want. I just went through something similar, and I tried really hard to be happy for her but was jealous. However, I ultimately figured I have what I need and maybe she needed the job more than I did. But i definitely feel for you on that one. Maybe another even better opportunity comes along...

Third, "V"?!!! Um, What?!!! OMG, is it the 1980's version? I LOVED that as a kid and would really like to know where you are getting it if it is the older one. If it it's not and it's a newer series I'd love to check it out.

Lastly, I obviously don't know you that well, but while it sounds like you've have some good and fun things happen your overall tone sounds a bit down. It's not entirely surprising after all you've been through. Please forgive me if I'm reading it wrong. I know winter is a tough time for many, and I'm curious if you're keeping up with your therapy and doing all the stuff for prevention for the winter depression that so many of us need to do. But I'm really glad you reached out and asked for help when you needed it. You've been a huge inspiration to me, and I've genuinely appreciated your honesty and grace despite tragedy and hardship.

So good to hear from you, and I hope you keep all us PS'ers posted on how things are going.

 

[rainydaze]

PB thanks for checking in and being honest about how you're doing. It sounds like it's all a bit too much right now and I'm sorry for that. If I recall, you're not a big hug person so... air hug? Side hug? Or maybe a lil butt pinch is better?

 

[AV_]

I'm hoping a sinkhole swallows me up so I dont have to think about my upcoming birthday.

Now you remind me! I had honestly forgotten...

-

I can recall three great birthdays (a day of dark chocolate, a comming of age jewel gift, a surprising friendship!) - to reenact, if not adding to the list.

Or just live the day.

 

[ame]

I am also not a fan of the holidays, and I despise winter/cold/snow/rain. And f'ing xmas music makes me want to commit murders.

I already pester you enough, but if you need to, you know where to reach me.

 

[MissGotRocks]

PB, it is so good to finally hear from you! Sounds like you are going through a rough patch but I am glad to hear that you are working again. It helps to keep your mind occupied a bit.

I think the holidays cause unrealistic expectations for some and longing for others that is equally of unrealistic proportions. I know someone that gave up on them years ago and now volunteers in soup kitchens for the holidays and beyond. Claims that change made the biggest change in his enjoyment of the season. Doing something completely different for the holidays might give it newer meaning for you too. I know sometimes that is easier said than done but might be food for thought.

Do something special for your birthday - don't worry about the number. We all have them every year and have to learn to deal with the number. Do a spa/pampering day just for you!

 

[lyra]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now PB. I hope you have better days soon.

 

[AV_]

Btw.,

First sign of the End of Days (of this year) just came in! This: www (4am, brunch shall be interesting today)

TBC

 

[PreRaphaelite]

PB, just wanted to wish you comfort and peace. It’s good to see you here. <3

 

[lissyflo]

I’m really sorry that your tough time is continuing. The holiday season can be brutal to deal with, with everyone seemingly happy and caught up. I agree with everyone else - put yourself first, look after yourself in the best way you can and remember you’ve got a whole website of people thinking of you.

 

[PintoBean]

Hi guys.

I look so good on paper. I started a full time job 3 weeks ago. I closed on a new home (my second home now) on Friday. I was a dream for the realtor bc it only took 2 Thursdays in a row, 3-4 hours each, for me to pick a place and make an offer on January 31, and close by March 1.

Yet...I was not excited as the closing day approached. I cried Wednesday night and Thursday morning. It was real now. A big step forward solo. Not like the excitement of buying a place with my husband and selling his apartment...

So now I'm fancy with 2 homes in 2 places. My NY home is in the suburbs while my new home is in a city. It's the best of both worlds. My cats are gonna be like what the?

I need some quick renovations done before I move in. In the meantime, the parents feed the cats, and I stay at airbnbs Sunday to Friday and then go back to NY on the weekends solely to be with the cats.

I am seeing my first ballet this week and i got pretty woman style opera glasses

Thank you for thinking of me when I was taking breaks from PS.

 

[Staceyjan]

This may sound crazy but I was on PS this weekend looking at my past posts and thinking of future projects and I actually wondered how you are doing! Happy to see you checking on and continue to move forward! Enjoy the ballet!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Well, well, that's quite an update PB! So happy for you to have a full time job AND two homes - wowza!! Sounds like you have an ultra busy life and I am thrilled for you. It does look great on paper and I hope that it gets better and better for you in real time. Hats off to you and thanks so much for this update! You have been missed!

 

[Gussie]

PB!!! So glad to hear from you! Sounds like things are looking up. 2 homes - fancy girl! I am glad you are keeping busy and finding some peace.

And I hope you are getting a lot of wear out of those cowboy boots!