If you were leaving PS...

[Italiahaircolor]

Would you make an announcement? Would completely close out your account? Would just simply disappear? What would drive you to exiting?

The Whitby''s thread got me wondering....I''m going to miss her, and I appreciate her DH giving us all the heads up....so it got me wondering about all of you out there....how would you handle your departure?

Personally, I think I would just leave. I can''t imagine myself exiting because my life got busy...maybe I''d post less than I do now, but I feel "invested" here and I like coming and chatting on my down time. However, if things that were said made me feel badly, I think I''d simply bow out. For instance, the last post started about my husbands birthday almost drove me to that, as much as I hate to admit it. I don''t like accusations being leveled against me, and certianly not the type that some people saw fit to make. I love PS, adore the members on this site...but it is a recreation for me, something that I enjoy and if it ever became a place where I felt "uncomfortable" I''d for sure leave. I think I''d leave my account intact for the sake of second thoughts, though.

 

[lulu]

I would just leave. That''s why I''m concerned. I always enjoyed Whitby''s comments. It just makes me wonder if she''s okay.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Me too! I''m worried about her. This just seems very un-Whitby-like!

 

[Gailey]

Date: 8/22/2009 11:44:30 PM
Author: lulu
I would just leave. That''s why I''m concerned. I always enjoyed Whitby''s comments. It just makes me wonder if she''s okay.

This is very scary. I don''t care what Whitby does, where she goes, just so long as happy and she''s okay.

 

[Sharon101]

Date: 8/22/2009 10:55:31 PM
Author:Italiahaircolor
Would you make an announcement? Would completely close out your account? Would just simply disappear? What would drive you to exiting?


The Whitby''s thread got me wondering....I''m going to miss her, and I appreciate her DH giving us all the heads up....so it got me wondering about all of you out there....how would you handle your departure?


Personally, I think I would just leave. I can''t imagine myself exiting because my life got busy...maybe I''d post less than I do now, but I feel ''invested'' here and I like coming and chatting on my down time. However, if things that were said made me feel badly, I think I''d simply bow out. For instance, the last post started about my husbands birthday almost drove me to that, as much as I hate to admit it. I don''t like accusations being leveled against me, and certianly not the type that some people saw fit to make. I love PS, adore the members on this site...but it is a recreation for me, something that I enjoy and if it ever became a place where I felt ''uncomfortable'' I''d for sure leave. I think I''d leave my account intact for the sake of second thoughts, though.

Italia, this site is entertainment for most of us. However, if anyone overdoes the bragging, they will end up attracting negative attension here and irl. Most people here could brag much more than they do. Btw, bragging is very different to sharing.

 

[iheartscience]

I highly doubt I would make a dramatic post/thread if I got done with PS. Just not my style. But hey, never say never, right?

 

[musey]

To your question, I would (and have, in the past) just stop posting. I think "leave" is a strong word, as it implies that PS is a place of residence or something. It's a website that I go to to read and post because I find it interesting/fun, I really enjoy trying to help others looking for advice, and there are some people that I really enjoy "talking" to on here. That's it. So I suppose that explains why, for me, there would be no call for pomp if I decided to stop posting, whether on a temporary or permanent basis.

As for closing down my account, again, I don't think I would feel the need or motivation. It makes no difference to me whether my account is active or not. Probably all I'd do would be to ask the mods to please remove some of my more personal threads (like those with pictures of my wedding or jewelery).

Everyone's different. If someone feels the need for closure, either for themselves or to provide it to their friends on here, fine. Who am I to judge?

 

[CJ2008]

Am I missing something here? I went back and re-read all the posts re: the birthday and saw nothing but positive comments...I guess the negative ones were removed?

As far as leaving PS...it depends why I was leaving.

If I got bored with it, I''d just leave - although there are a few people I would probably wonder about once in a while, because we exchanged a little bonding at one point or another. But overall, PS is kind of like a soap opera...you can pretty much leave and come back in 5 months and pick right back up from where you left off.

If I left because a person or several people insulted me, I might mention that...but it would take a LOT for me to feel insulted to that extent...because I don''t know who''s really behind all these different screennames and why they post here...sometimes the drama from people seems "put on" to instigate more drama. Entertaining...

 

[LilyKat]

I think if you genuinely want to leave and break your involvement with a forum, it's best to bow out quietly. Making an announcement will almost certainly attract attention and comments that basically draw you back in. Posting something along the lines of "By the way guys, I'm really busy in my life now so you might not hear from me from a while, but thanks so much for all your help" would be fine, but saying that you're leaving and never to return.... a bit unnecessary IMO.

And I do agree that some of the posts on your husband's birthday thread were inappropriate, Italia, and would have insulted and upset me. I don't like to see people being pressured (bullied?) into personal sharing things unless they want to, and aspersions cast on them if they don't choose to - especially the implication that someone who has been so generous with her time and advice on the boards is somehow a "taker" and not a "giver" just because she doesn't want to post pictures. It's really none of anyone else's business.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

It would depend on why I was leaving. If it was for a health reason or impending loss of internet access, I would explain why I was leaving. If I decided to leave because of a dust-up or because the atmosphere on the board changed, I probably wouldn''t say anything.

 

[CJ2008]

Date: 8/23/2009 5:26:07 AM
Author: LilyKat
I think if you genuinely want to leave and break your involvement with a forum, it''s best to bow out quietly. Making an announcement will almost certainly attract attention and comments that basically draw you back in. Posting something along the lines of ''By the way guys, I''m really busy in my life now so you might not hear from me from a while, but thanks so much for all your help'' would be fine, but saying that you''re leaving and never to return.... a bit unnecessary IMO.


And I do agree that some of the posts on your husband''s birthday thread were inappropriate, Italia, and would have insulted and upset me. I don''t like to see people being pressured (bullied?) into personal sharing things unless they want to, and aspersions cast on them if they don''t choose to - especially the implication that someone who has been so generous with her time and advice on the boards is somehow a ''taker'' and not a ''giver'' just because she doesn''t want to post pictures. It''s really none of anyone else''s business.

OK - after reading this I went back AGAIN to read the posts...the first time I did that I skimmed over the long ones expecting for some reason that the negative ones would be short. But now I get it...

I wouldn''t have posted the pictures just on principle...I''d hate people to think I was lying or bragging (and maybe I would rethink what I share on this forum - and, I might do a double take at my posts and try to see in an objective way if I ever do come off as bragging - just so I could learn from it if I did)...BUT I still wouldn''t have posted them. Sharing pictures is something that should feel good because you want to do it - I wouldn''t do it just to prove anything to anyone.

 

[Girlrocks]

I don''t post very much to begin with, so I would not make an announcement, I would just leave.

However, I wanted to add that I was blown away regarding your DH''s birthday thread....you didn''t even start the thread!!! Some posters were launching personal attacks very quickly, you hadn''t even had a chance to get settled back in from your vacation, catch up at work, etc. I wouldn''t have posted ANY photos if it had been me in response to that! (Although I am glad that you did, the dinner looked amazing!)

And I hope that YOU don''t choose to leave, you always have a very positive outlook and seem to be a "glass half full" type of person. When I have personally asked for advice on these boards, you have given very level headed and positive advice that I have taken to heart and made me see my situation from another point of view that I appreciate.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 8/23/2009 12:47:31 AM
Author: musey
To your question, I would (and have, in the past) just stop posting. I think ''leave'' is a strong word, as it implies that PS is a place of residence or something. It''s a website that I go to to read and post because I find it interesting/fun, I really enjoy trying to help others looking for advice, and there are some people that I really enjoy ''talking'' to on here. That''s it. So I suppose that explains why, for me, there would be no call for pomp if I decided to stop posting, whether on a temporary or permanent basis.

As for closing down my account, again, I don''t think I would feel the need or motivation. It makes no difference to me whether my account is active or not. Probably all I''d do would be to ask the mods to please remove some of my more personal threads (like those with pictures of my wedding or jewelery).

Everyone''s different. If someone feels the need for closure, either for themselves or to provide it to their friends on here, fine. Who am I to judge?

Exactly this for me. Musey, you''ve got to stop reading my mind all the time!

 

[DiamanteBlu]

If there were an issue [like travel, new intensive project, etc.] I would tell people so they didn't worry. [not sure many people would notice! LOL!]

I have not had a hostile experience here and I don't anticipate having one so I can't imagine leaving for that reason.

I did have an unexplained disappearance back in early 2008. I was flat out with a new project for months but I didn't tell anybody here. I'd check the boards periodically so I told myself that I was kinda up to date [except I didn't see the post wondering where I was!]. I kept meaning to post but I kept procrastinating [I didn't just want to post something that said "Oooh, pretty!" as my only participation]. Sooooo . . . I seemed to have disappeared when I really didn't.

I will try to avoid doing that in the future. My bad. I am sure that my PS friends on facebook will keep me in line!

 

[gemgirl]

Date: 8/22/2009 10:55:31 PM
Author:Italiahaircolor
Would you make an announcement? Would completely close out your account? Would just simply disappear? What would drive you to exiting?

The Whitby''s thread got me wondering....I''m going to miss her, and I appreciate her DH giving us all the heads up....so it got me wondering about all of you out there....how would you handle your departure?

Personally, I think I would just leave. I can''t imagine myself exiting because my life got busy...maybe I''d post less than I do now, but I feel ''invested'' here and I like coming and chatting on my down time. However, if things that were said made me feel badly, I think I''d simply bow out. For instance, the last post started about my husbands birthday almost drove me to that, as much as I hate to admit it. I don''t like accusations being leveled against me, and certianly not the type that some people saw fit to make. I love PS, adore the members on this site...but it is a recreation for me, something that I enjoy and if it ever became a place where I felt ''uncomfortable'' I''d for sure leave. I think I''d leave my account intact for the sake of second thoughts, though.

If I had to leave for some reason, and I really can''t come up with a reason why I would feel compelled to leave, I would simply stop posting. I wouldn''t close my account. I wouldn''t feel it was necessary. For me PS is a place I share my passion and the place I come to take a break from real life. Even if I don''t post anything for a few days, I love to read what''s new. There are certain times of the year when life gets really busy and I may not post for a month, but the Board is always here and I know I can always jump back in.

And then there''s this...... there are people on the Board who are the prime rib portion of the meal. We have maybe a dozen or so of those folks and they know who they are. They are the heart and soul of Pricescope. Then there are the people who are the lovely whipped mashed potatoes part of the meal (can''t live without the mashed potatoes) and we have at least a couple of dozen of those. Then there''s all the rest of us. The interesting, colorful things that the chef adds to your plate before it leaves the kitchen that you can appreciate when they''re there, but wouldn''t consider dinner to be ruined if they were not. That''s an awful lot of us and I include myself in that group. Then we have a different and interesting category- the fine wine. Some people don''t have PS longevity behind them, but while they''re here, they definitely make a unique impression in a variety of different ways. And we have a skant handful of the fine wines who bring great color and life to our chatting.

Most people miss the fine wine when it''s not there....... I think that''s the case with our dear whitby

.

Just to add, I''m not trying to classify or stereotype people. I was the moderator of an active Internet discussion group for chronically ill people for six or seven years, and I''ve belonged to related types of groups. Even my husband''s fishing groups are the same. People tend to fall into either the inner or outer bands of concentric circles. It''s just the way it is.

 

[VegasAngel]

No I would not make an announcement, I don''t post enough for that.

 

[neatfreak]

I''m with Musey 100%.

 

[lulu]

I feel like a radish.

 

[Sabine]

I can''t imagine ever leaving for a ps drama-related reason. I can''t really imagine leaving at all, but I guess if life intervened in a way that I didn''t have the time/energy to post anymore, I would definitely let people know. But again, I can''t imagine that post causing drama, it would be more to let people know why I''m not around than to cause speculation and worry.

 

[Fly Girl]

Date: 8/23/2009 10:48:52 AM
Author: lulu
I feel like a radish.

LOL. This struck me as really funny, lulu. I''m trying to decide if I''m a string bean or a chocolate chip.

 

[D&T]

I''d probably just lessen my posts, and just leave quietly, but from time to time, I''m sure I''ll lurk to see what others are doing.

 

[gwendolyn]

I''ve posted on a couple of other boards in the past, and generally just lost interest over time. I think that (generally) you sort of back yourself into a corner anytime you make a big, dramatic scene when you leave somewhere and, consequently, increase the odds of burning bridges. Why do that if you don''t have to? You never know when later you might change your mind and want to come back, and probably won''t enjoy that tail-between-the-legs feeling if you previous kicked up a fuss about why the place was sucky enough to leave in the first place.

 

[lisa1.01fvs1]

Date: 8/23/2009 10:48:52 AM
Author: lulu
I feel like a radish.

ROFLMAO!!!!

I left last October???? Just stopped posting when I needed a break and to talk face to face w/ someone.

Lots of personal pregnancy stuff, amnio''s, lost twin & a toddler in the house.

I just couldn''t keep thinking and thinking and writing about it all............

I came back and was glad to see Neatfreak/Snlee and many others still here.

Now my obsession w/ diamonds has come back w/ a vengence!

 

[Haven]

I would just stop posting if I decided to leave PS. I don''t have a problem with the dramatic goodbye posts, but they just aren''t my style. They do seem like an invitation for some mushiness and goodbyes from others, and I just don''t think I''d be interested in that.

Italia--I was pretty shocked by that thread about Mark''s birthday, and I would have probably considered leaving PS if I found myself in your position, as well. It took me a while to respond because I wrote out one rather confrontational post, which I then chose to delete and simply wrote "tough crowd" instead. I was disgusted and insulted for you, and I find the insinuations that you are either a braggart or a liar to be incredibly uncalled for.

Of course, those comments reflect entirely upon the writers and not you.

It also made me realize that some people take PS much more seriously than I. I enjoy coming on here, but the minute I find myself caring about whether an anonymous poster on an Internet forum is bragging or posting personal pictures of something, that is the minute I''ll resign my membership from PS. There are far more important things to worry about, at least in my life.

Until then, I look forward to sharing advice and recipes and pictures of jewelry and furbabies with all of you.

 

[Gailey]

Date: 8/23/2009 9:49:18 AM
Author: gemgirl

If I had to leave for some reason, and I really can''t come up with a reason why I would feel compelled to leave, I would simply stop posting. I wouldn''t close my account. I wouldn''t feel it was necessary. For me PS is a place I share my passion and the place I come to take a break from real life. Even if I don''t post anything for a few days, I love to read what''s new. There are certain times of the year when life gets really busy and I may not post for a month, but the Board is always here and I know I can always jump back in.

And then there''s this...... there are people on the Board who are the prime rib portion of the meal. We have maybe a dozen or so of those folks and they know who they are. They are the heart and soul of Pricescope. Then there are the people who are the lovely whipped mashed potatoes part of the meal (can''t live without the mashed potatoes) and we have at least a couple of dozen of those. Then there''s all the rest of us. The interesting, colorful things that the chef adds to your plate before it leaves the kitchen that you can appreciate when they''re there, but wouldn''t consider dinner to be ruined if they were not. That''s an awful lot of us and I include myself in that group. Then we have a different and interesting category- the fine wine. Some people don''t have PS longevity behind them, but while they''re here, they definitely make a unique impression in a variety of different ways. And we have a skant handful of the fine wines who bring great color and life to our chatting.

Most people miss the fine wine when it''s not there....... I think that''s the case with our dear whitby

.

Just to add, I''m not trying to classify or stereotype people. I was the moderator of an active Internet discussion group for chronically ill people for six or seven years, and I''ve belonged to related types of groups. Even my husband''s fishing groups are the same. People tend to fall into either the inner or outer bands of concentric circles. It''s just the way it is.

Excellent analogy GG! But you''ve missed out some categories. There are the Asian curries, spicy, hard hitting, definitely makes itself felt. Nouvelle Cuisine, showy, pricey and not very substantive. Then there''s the soufflé, deliciously light, again not particularly substantive, but a great way to end a meal .....

 

[Gailey]

Oh, and me? I'm a Brussel sprout. Some love them, some can't stand them, but very WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get), full of Vit C and ultimately very good for you!

 

[Shoopy]

I think I would at least say something on the PS mommies thread since I like to think of us all as mommy friends. I know that if any of those ladies decide to leave, I would be really sad not to hear from them again.

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 8/23/2009 12:02:08 PM
Author: Haven
I would just stop posting if I decided to leave PS. I don''t have a problem with the dramatic goodbye posts, but they just aren''t my style. They do seem like an invitation for some mushiness and goodbyes from others, and I just don''t think I''d be interested in that. I agree. Moreover, it invites speculation and I believe that type of personal scutiny usually ends up devolving....why risk it?

It also made me realize that some people take PS much more seriously than I. I enjoy coming on here, but the minute I find myself caring about whether an anonymous poster on an Internet forum is bragging or posting personal pictures of something, that is the minute I''ll resign my membership from PS. There are far more important things to worry about, at least in my life. Here here.

HI:

As always, I enjoy your perspective Haven.

cheers--Sharon

 

[decodelighted]

The "GBCPS" dramatic exits are always a hoot ... as most long time PSers realize they''ll be back ... probably within a week.

Maybe within hours. With lots of "I''ll forgive you if you forgive me" talk. Harumph.

Then there are the people who have a problem. Whether its a personal crisis ... or shopping addiction .. or internet addiction - where its in everyone''s best interest that they take control of their own lives & stop "using". Cold turkey might be the right RX in those cases.

The people I wonder about are usually the ones who''ve left quietly or suddenly. Hopefully those folks come back at a different stage in their lives and put all our minds at ease.

As for what I''d do .... hopefully not the Dramatic Snit but gosh I do still get the PMS for a few more years so ... yanneverknow.

 

[zoebartlett]

I wouldn''t make an announcement -- I''d just leave. Life gets busy and sometimes you just might not be up to posting anymore. Quite honestly, I''m not sure if anyone would notice if I stopped posting all together.