If you were leaving PS...

[perry]

I have been a member of many forums. I now only post on a couple of them - and not that often either (it''s no longer an active part of every day).

In most cases I have just lost interest and stopped posting. In some cases I feel I was mistreated by more than one or a few and I left and have never returned. But, in one case I was part of the main course of that forum - one of the most respected members - and I really disagreed with a change in the forum rules. I was going to explain why I was leaving - and wanted to reference a previous person who had left - only the key post I wanted to link to had been removed. So I posted nothing and just vanished. I did email the administrator and explain why I felt that I could no longer participate. There was such an outcry on my "vanishing" that the administrator had to explain - several times - that I had decided to no longer participate (and deletet lots of post in support of me). Years later people still tell me that newbies are referred back to some of my post on certain subjects.

It was very hard for me because what I did made a real difference and was very personally rewarding: This was a medical support forum on Sleep Apnea - and I was the expert in a certain area and always directed people to work with their Drs and other appropriate statements on following the legal rules (and even the equip Mfrs recognized that and I was testing equipment for multiple Mfrs). But, the change if forum rules were something that I could not support.

To put things in perspective: I remember when PMs existed here on PS - and really loved them (and used them wisely). Yet, I also know what problems occured and supported their ending (which was probably the biggest forum issue that PS has ever had).

I really like Pricescope. But have no active interest in more jewelry and gemstones at this time. I am sure that will change if I meet a gal who is interested in high quality gemstones (sadly, some are not). I read a lot more than I post - but don''t read every day (or even every week). My current interest are working through some health issues (its a slow process), my elderly parents (they are doing better and I am spending less time - a much needed break too), pistol shooting - gun rights, home upgrades (A house is something you keep spending $ on), and a few other things.

But, this is one of only a few forums that I do somewhat follow and post on. Its such a great forum.

Y''all have a great day,

Perry

 

[lyra]

I have left before, for several months. Just deleted my bookmark and went on with life. No reason other than I maybe was busier at the time, or didn''t want to be tempted too much. No big deal. I don''t have a "following" by any means. I do miss other people who leave though.

 

[purrfectpear]

Public goodbyes are usually for those who take pleasure in reading the comments after. I guess I think if those were really close friends, then you''d have another way to say goodbye (emails). If you don''t have any other way to make contact, then they''re really more acquaintances than close friends, no?

I''ve been a member of some forums for more than 8 years. I quietly moved on as my interests had changed. No GBCPS, no "I''m closing my account", no drama period. That''s just me.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/23/2009 12:02:08 PM
Author: Haven
I I find the insinuations that you are either a braggart or a liar to be incredibly uncalled for.

I chose not to participate in the drama of that thread, but I see both sides. I don't think it's anyone's "right" to photos, but I also think that comments like "My husband will let me buy it, as with everything" can come off braggy. Also, I cringed a little bit during her car thread when she felt the need to mention that she was spending 100k on her DH's b-day when it had nothing to do with the topic at hand (she could of just said, "here's my budget for the car, this is what happened, now what?". And I don't think that her mentioning these things was a way of saying "Hey look, I'm better than you!", I think that she was trying to convey how much she and her DH love each other. But to some it may sound bad.
And the only reason why I'm choosing to bring it up in THIS thread is because I know that Italia is very open with others when warranted. Not seeing photos wouldn't have bothered me...but there are other people who were a lot more invested who kept hearing over and over again all of these wonderful plans. I can see why they might start to think it's all a sham.

With all of that being said, in the end I took Italia's side because she DIDN'T start an "I'm back" thread and she DOES have a life.

This is all JMO.

ETA: Just read about the whole Whitby situation since I was out of town for a while. In a word: Fishy.

 

[Steel]

I am of the ''slinking quietly off into the darkness'' variety.


.................................

 

[Fly Girl]

Date: 8/23/2009 12:00:53 PM
Author: lisa1.01fvs1

Date: 8/23/2009 10:48:52 AM
Author: lulu
I feel like a radish.

ROFLMAO!!!!

I left last October???? Just stopped posting when I needed a break and to talk face to face w/ someone.

Lots of personal pregnancy stuff, amnio''s, lost twin & a toddler in the house.

I just couldn''t keep thinking and thinking and writing about it all............

I came back and was glad to see Neatfreak/Snlee and many others still here.

Now my obsession w/ diamonds has come back w/ a vengence!

Welcome back, lisa! Does this mean that the hunt for the perfect pink diamond will resume?

 

[Haven]

I completely understand what you''re saying, Lucky. I can see how some would consider that language to sound braggy. I just didn''t, that''s all.

Since I only interact with people here in print, I tend to either give someone the benefit of the doubt OR I assume that my own issues/history/experiences are clouding my perception of a poster if I find myself thinking something negative about her. It is, after all, so very easy to misrepresent yourself in words, and conversely, to misinterpret another''s words.

As for thinking negatively about other posters, I think we to tend to be sensitive about things others post that we, ourselves, have issues with. If I do find myself having a negative reaction to something someone posted, I usually try to figure out what issue I''m having that is causing it. It''s rarely about the other person at all, and mostly about something I''m bringing to the table.

 

[Amethyste]

I dont want to get on people''s nerves... So I am reading and staying quiet, post a little, and that''s about it. I have a busy life outside of the internet. I come here to relax, not to add stress to my already stressful life. When there are drama threads, I either stay away from them or decide to stop participating and move on...

 

[kenny]

I don''t understand the gladiator thing.
Some people get into I''M RIGHT! fights that go on and on.

I certainly express myself and I often have non-standard opinions.

When people challenge what I write I try to back up what I say or just make it clear it is my opinion.

If they want to go on and on I don''t fight.
I just let it go.
People don''t agree with me; that''s okay.
The only thing I have a hard time tolerating is intolerance.

 

[trillionaire]

I would just leave. I thought I would have left PS by now, but apparently, I have not.

It seems to me that most PSers that have close relationships have managed to find ways to communicate outside of PS, whether via GTG''s or other means. I would let my close friends know privately, but that would be it. I think that it can be a bit self-important to announce to everyone that you are leaving, but I do not see this as the same thing as letting people know who are in the middle of conversations with you, so that you don''t appear rude. That was my take on Whitby''s Who''s Who thread, anyway.

 

[Black Jade]

I''d just leave.
The reason that I would probably leave is because it seems to me sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) that being on PS makes me more likely to shop for things that I don''t need. Very expensive things I don''t need. It''s a bit of an enabling group that way (or can be if you have the wrong personality type)--it makes it seem as if jewelry is much more important that I objectively feel that it really is.
I don''t think I''d announce that I was leaving because then people might say, don''t leave and I''d be tempted to stay longer, because the conversations can be nice, the information from the experts is always interesting and I know that the purchases I have made have been better quality, cheaper than they would have been if I had never found this site. It is also very nice to have a place where I can openly talk about my jewelry without feeling I am bragging or ''showing off'', partly because no one knows who I am here and partly because so many others on-site have so much more than I do, which is not the case IRL (especially not in this economy. I was reminded of that today as yet ANOTHER friend said how her husband had to take a $10,000 year pay cut. It doesn''t feel right to be showing off one''s diamonds when people are having problems like that). But I''m thinking that maybe Whitby (I''m not sure who she is) left because she wanted to cut back on her spending and Pricescope does not help you to do that AT ALL (only to get a deal, which can turn out not to be a deal if you then feel the urge to buy something else that you don''t need).

 

[Maria D]

Will somebody please help me?

GBCPS = Good Bye Cruel Price Scope?
Great Big Chiacchierone Pens So-long?
Gone Baby -- Can''t Play, Sorry...

???

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 8/23/2009 4:34:12 PM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 8/23/2009 12:02:08 PM
Author: Haven
I I find the insinuations that you are either a braggart or a liar to be incredibly uncalled for.

I chose not to participate in the drama of that thread, but I see both sides. I don''t think it''s anyone''s ''right'' to photos, but I also think that comments like ''My husband will let me buy it, as with everything'' can come off braggy. Also, I cringed a little bit during her car thread when she felt the need to mention that she was spending 100k on her DH''s b-day when it had nothing to do with the topic at hand (she could of just said, ''here''s my budget for the car, this is what happened, now what?''. And I don''t think that her mentioning these things was a way of saying ''Hey look, I''m better than you!'', I think that she was trying to convey how much she and her DH love each other. But to some it may sound bad.
And the only reason why I''m choosing to bring it up in THIS thread is because I know that Italia is very open with others when warranted. Not seeing photos wouldn''t have bothered me...but there are other people who were a lot more invested who kept hearing over and over again all of these wonderful plans. I can see why they might start to think it''s all a sham.

With all of that being said, in the end I took Italia''s side because she DIDN''T start an ''I''m back'' thread and she DOES have a life.

This is all JMO.

ETA: Just read about the whole Whitby situation since I was out of town for a while. In a word: Fishy.

I''ve decided to respond only to this comment about the situation that arose to directly address some of the issues Luckystar brought up and hopefully lay them to rest.

First of all, my mention of budget was no different than a bride mentioning her wedding budget, a FF mentioning his ring budget, or a house shopper mentioning his/her mortage budget. It wasn''t intended to "brag" or "show off". I was making a large purchase, looking to be informed and seeking real advice when met with bumps in the road. If anyone misintrupted that as my being gauche, I apologize. What I spent had nothing to do with how much I love my DH...it''s simply the price that got the job done to what my standards were. I was planning a huge party, not much more different than a wedding reception, and it boils down to the fact that it''s only as good as the time your guests are having...I wanted it to be "top shelf"...just like everyone on this site hopes their parties, rings, houses will be.

As far as my being able to purchase things for myself at "will" and flat out saying so when asked if I felt "badly" about not getting a LV purse on my trip...well, I work my ass off so that I can have that luxury. It''s nice for me that Mark supports that...but it''s not the end all be all for me. You''ll almost never see me showing a new piece of jewelry...but really whats the difference between people who buy gems and what I said? I spend my "spending money" on luxury items, other people choose jewels. In the end I only verbalized what other people do all the time on this site. Am I lucky to be able to freely do so? Sure. But it''s not an accident that I''m in the position to do so.

And finally, probably the hardest issue to address is being considered a "sham". I was really hurt by the accusation when I first read it. It stung. I didn''t want to get emotional about it, and fire back with mean words in an attempt to defend myself. I knew what I knew to be fact, and it infuriated me to be accused of lying. I''m a lot of things, but I''m not a liar. I really thought long and hard about leaving PS...I use this site for fun, I don''t have much socializing time, so this site is my form of a coffee clutch. And to be called out, after I explained the delay in a thread I didn''t even start because I didn''t even have the time to start one, well it made me really reconsider my time here. But then I considered the source. I respect the two women who leveled the accusations against me, and if I were to simply "walk away" then it would be like proving them right...the same as if I admitted I "lied" and was too ashamed to show my face again. Neither of which was true. So I made the decision to instead address the real issue, which wasn''t the accusation--but my lack of pictures to back it up. Done and done.

The reason I didn''t post was simply because I was very busy. I was away from work for 8 days, my dogs, my family. As much as I enjoy PS, those things take presidence over posting pictures. In time I would have created a thread, posted pictures, answered questions...but I had to work before I played. Not to mention the fact that I had a ton of pictures to sort, file and alter. It''s not that I didn''t want to share, it''s just that it wasn''t #1 on my list of things to do.

I don''t harbor ill feelings towards anyone over what was said. They may have felt like they unearthed a bombshell on me...but that wasn''t the case. More than anything I''m embarrassed for the comments that were made. Instead of giving me 3 whole days to get settled in, they made really presumptious assumptions that speak of them more than they do me.

Case closed.

 

[soocool]

#1 Italia , bravo on your post! All I can say you are one of my favorite posters as many have called upon your expertise in hair care, color, etc. to help them out. You did this out of the kindness of your heart. You certainly did not have to respond if you didn''t want to. I loved reading about the special surprise you were planning for your DH. It never occurred to me that you were bragging. And yes, it is evident you work very hard and are entitled to be happy in whichever way makes you happy. Nobody''s business, but your own.

#2 There are PS icons on here that I would miss tremendously if they left. These are the experts, in my opinion, that many people call upon when they seek help in selecting a quality diamond or help in child rearing, help in wedding planning, or how to handle a psychological, medical, or legal problem. In my opinion these individuals did not charge for these services but perhaps were paid in other ways, mainly by people expressing their gratitude.

#3. Whitby is one of these experts. A few have seeked her advice and she had given it without hesitation. I believe she felt that PS was her family and wouldn''t think of leaving without saying good-bye. For many of us saying good-bye can be quite emotional so she asked her husband to do it. Nothing wrong with that.

#4 Unfortunately, I am not one of these people who others specifically ask to seek my opinion. If I disappeared from PS, I do not think anyone would notice or care. That is ok, because I know I have not made that much of an impression here.

 

[Fly Girl]

o.k. I finally went and read the Italia 30th B-Day Vegas thread. All I can say is....



Italia, you go girl!!!!

 

[rainwood]

Date: 8/23/2009 10:48:52 AM
Author: lulu
I feel like a radish.

I cannot top this. It made me laugh out loud and I''m a tough laugh. I also enjoyed Gemgirl''s metaphors which led up to the radish.

As for what I''d do? I''ve racked up an astonishing 357 posts in the 4 1/2 years I''ve been a member so I''m sure my absence would leave a hole the size of the Holland Tunnel and cause Pricescope to implode then cease to exist. So I''d probably flounce around and shout "I''m leaving!" eight or nine times, then stamp off in a huff. Then again, I''d probably just stop posting.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I think the thing with Whitby should not even be mentioned - she made a point to mention her leaving because of the thread she had been having a conversation in, and that is considered manners, that is all. Few know why she left and they are the ones they she considered important, so other than that it should just be dropped.

If I ever wanted to leave PS, I wouldn''t say anything here, because those I deem important - friends and such - I have ways of contacting elsewhere. But not everyone has that luxury, and I know a lot of people don''t have ways to converse outside of PS due to the restrictions and we build friendships here based on knowledge and interests shared. So making a quiet little post about having limited internet time or some other reason is not considering flouncing to me.

Flounce = making a big, ridiculous, drama-filled post about how "omg everyone is SO MEAN to me!" and then claiming you''re never coming back to PS. Especially if you respond to said post. Grow up and whine elsewhere.

 

[CNOS128]

I''m fairly certain I wouldn''t make an announcement, but I don''t really have relationships with posters here. I enjoy the chatter and the opinions and whatnot, but I don''t have emotional ties. If I did, I would probably still not make an announcement, because it''s just not what I do -- but I could understand someone wanting or needing to do so. Even if the reason is that a person feels slighted and wants to stir up drama, or even if the reason is just so that the people they''ve left behind know to miss them, I think that''s okay.

 

[TravelingGal]

I would make no less than three announcements that I''m leaving in at least 5 subforums. I would also ask my husband, mother and best friend to register and say good bye for me on the rest of the forums. I''d register under a different name and pay tribute to myself.

I''ve seen a lot of great posters come and go on this site, and I really don''t think too much about any of them on a day to day basis. I''m not saying that in a bad away. I''m saying that new blood keeps things interesting and no one is irreplaceable.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/23/2009 6:10:29 PM
Author: trillionaire
I would just leave. I thought I would have left PS by now, but apparently, I have not.

It seems to me that most PSers that have close relationships have managed to find ways to communicate outside of PS, whether via GTG''s or other means. I would let my close friends know privately, but that would be it. I think that it can be a bit self-important to announce to everyone that you are leaving, but I do not see this as the same thing as letting people know who are in the middle of conversations with you, so that you don''t appear rude. That was my take on Whitby''s Who''s Who thread, anyway.

I think lots of people goss behind the scenes. I think that kind of stuff is why things can get nasty here...easy to fire the ammo when you know you have an army behind you and the topic has already been discussed offsite.

I prefer to be a one person renegade.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 8/23/2009 7:57:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal

I think lots of people goss behind the scenes. I think that kind of stuff is why things can get nasty here...easy to fire the ammo when you know you have an army behind you and the topic has already been discussed offsite.

That''s the sense that I get about things as well -- that there''s some sidebar discussion about Person X, and then the issues that have been discussed then bubble to the surface in a more public way.

 

[Kaleigh]

My leaving would most likley be to family or health issues. Life gets in the way... I doubt I would have a thread, I am leaving, see ya''ll later.. That''s not me.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 8/23/2009 7:57:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/23/2009 6:10:29 PM

Author: trillionaire

I would just leave. I thought I would have left PS by now, but apparently, I have not.

It seems to me that most PSers that have close relationships have managed to find ways to communicate outside of PS, whether via GTG''s or other means. I would let my close friends know privately, but that would be it. I think that it can be a bit self-important to announce to everyone that you are leaving, but I do not see this as the same thing as letting people know who are in the middle of conversations with you, so that you don''t appear rude. That was my take on Whitby''s Who''s Who thread, anyway.

I think lots of people goss behind the scenes. I think that kind of stuff is why things can get nasty here...easy to fire the ammo when you know you have an army behind you and the topic has already been discussed offsite.

I prefer to be a one person renegade.

LOL I don''t know about that - usually the ones that actually fire are the ones that would fire anyway! Some people are very opinionated, and I would never begrudge someone for believing in their own opinion so much, but sometimes their opinion is wrong and that''s when it gets heated.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/23/2009 8:07:23 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 8/23/2009 7:57:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/23/2009 6:10:29 PM

Author: trillionaire

I would just leave. I thought I would have left PS by now, but apparently, I have not.

It seems to me that most PSers that have close relationships have managed to find ways to communicate outside of PS, whether via GTG''s or other means. I would let my close friends know privately, but that would be it. I think that it can be a bit self-important to announce to everyone that you are leaving, but I do not see this as the same thing as letting people know who are in the middle of conversations with you, so that you don''t appear rude. That was my take on Whitby''s Who''s Who thread, anyway.

I think lots of people goss behind the scenes. I think that kind of stuff is why things can get nasty here...easy to fire the ammo when you know you have an army behind you and the topic has already been discussed offsite.

I prefer to be a one person renegade.

LOL I don''t know about that - usually the ones that actually fire are the ones that would fire anyway! Some people are very opinionated, and I would never begrudge someone for believing in their own opinion so much, but sometimes their opinion is wrong and that''s when it gets heated.

MP, having an opinion and making an ACCUSATION (thinly veiled as it might be) are two different things.

 

[Upgradable]

Date: 8/23/2009 7:57:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal

I think lots of people goss behind the scenes. I think that kind of stuff is why things can get nasty here...easy to fire the ammo when you know you have an army behind you and the topic has already been discussed offsite.

I prefer to be a one person renegade.

TGal, the lone wolf of Pricescope!!

 

[decodelighted]

Will Nancy Drew Puh-leeze leave the building already?

 

[luckystar112]

Italia, the last thing I want to do is get into an argument or cause any bad feelings, I was just giving my opinion as to why people may have thought that you were bragging. I think it is great that you and your DH have the means to provide for each other in more ways than most of us can even dream of. Your budget for his party was not much less than the purchase price of our HOUSE. But I just didn''t get how your budget for the party had anything to do with your budget for the car? I know you set aside a specific amount that included both but it just seemed like you could have left that part out ("I was only expecting to pay a certain amount, and due to this Vegas trip I have planned there is no way I can go over").
I don''t think you''re trying to make anyone jealous or come off like you''re better than anyone. And I know you started that thread with a warning about how you were about to talk money. That was the only thing that stood out to me though--everything else about what you had planned sounded exciting and not at all arrogant. And actually, when it came to the whole "sham" thing I thought you handled it with total CLASS. You didn''t call anyone out or get overly-defensive, you just said your peace briefly, calmly, and proved them wrong with pics. Amazing pics.

Which is why I''m sort of disappointed that you brought it up in this thread. But I can''t say I wouldn''t have done the same thing.

Anyway, I''d just let bygones by bygones and refuse to let anyone let me feel badly. As someone else said, you''re not a "taker". You give just as much as the next person and you don''t owe anyone anything--including explanations.

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 8/23/2009 8:18:53 PM
Author: decodelighted
Will Nancy Drew Puh-leeze leave the building already?

huh?

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 8/23/2009 7:57:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/23/2009 6:10:29 PM

I think lots of people goss behind the scenes. I think that kind of stuff is why things can get nasty here...easy to fire the ammo when you know you have an army behind you and the topic has already been discussed offsite.

I prefer to be a one person renegade.

I think that is childish. And I''m with you--I''d much rather stab someone in the front. Internet acquaintance or not!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/23/2009 8:24:39 PM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 8/23/2009 7:57:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/23/2009 6:10:29 PM

I think lots of people goss behind the scenes. I think that kind of stuff is why things can get nasty here...easy to fire the ammo when you know you have an army behind you and the topic has already been discussed offsite.

I prefer to be a one person renegade.

I think that is childish. And I''m with you--I''d much rather stab someone in the front. Internet acquaintance or not!

I stab with BIIIIIIIIG knife, just to make sure you see it coming.