Wedding If anyone is having cold feet ...

[Harriet]

... these old threads might be of help:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/have-you-gotten-cold-feet-at-all.72174/
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/cold-feet-or-something-else.51047/
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/cold-feet-warning-long-post.39947/
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/confessions-of-a-bride-to-be.26297/
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/anyone-here-getting-cold-feet.23460/

ETA: I don't mean to start mass hysteria.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Thanks Harriet, your not having cold feet are ya?

 

[Harriet]

You''re welcome. No comment.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

ditto

 

[Harriet]

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I found this...

Cold Feet

It’s not at all unusual for couples to experience doubts about marriage and commitment, even (and in some cases, especially) when they have announced their engagement or set a date.

Don''t cancel the wedding yet!

When we are first involved with someone, we tend to focus on the things we have in common with them--our similarities--and even our differences with them can seem exciting. As intimate relationships progress, differences come more to the fore and lead to conflict and even feelings of alienation. This is normal, but many people are confused by this dynamic and it is a big source of affairs.

Many people have the notion that there is a ''perfect match'' for them and that the happiness and success of marriage depends on finding this match. With this view, there is a lot of pressure riding on the choice of partner. Normal differences between partners--including natural differences in intimacy and communication styles--induce doubts about compatibility. If you''re expecting everything to be conflict free and close to perfect, it can produce a lot of uncertainty when the reality isn''t that way.

The fact is that even the best matched couples have 5 - 7 areas of difference and that differences in intimacy and communication styles are nearly universal. Couples need to learn to expect these issues and agree on success strategies to help them work together to manage these in their relationship. (See our article on Differences for more about this.) It is frequently the case that as couples get closer to marriage, they encounter new areas of conflict that surprise them.

The terrible thing about these feelings is that they can be a lonely burden. Most people view cold feet as unacceptable feelings that cannot be shared--certainly not with their partner. Contrary to this impulse though, you should consider talking with your partner.

Of course, it''s not easy to share your doubts. Your partner''s first reaction may be discomfort. If your partner loves you, they will eventually understand and accept your feelings. They may even have some of their own to share. There are many stories of all night, soul-searching conversations that brought partners closer together than they had been beforehand.

Since the feelings can be normal, the important thing is to understand the reality of the challenges that you will face with your partner in your marriage and what you can do to make negotiating challenge a growth experience that will strengthen your bond and deepen your intimacy.

 

[Harriet]

Thanks, sweetie.

 

[KimberlyH]

Harriet, I just wanted to throw some good thoughts your way. Getting married is a huge transition, and it isn''t always smooth. Good for you for being aware of your feelings and we''re here if you need to talk.

 

[purrfectpear]

One of those links had more than cold feet going on

I believe the expression was full on iceberg ahead alert

Tuck those footies under a down comforter and have a cup of tea

 

[Harriet]

Date: 6/29/2008 3:37:05 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Harriet, I just wanted to throw some good thoughts your way. Getting married is a huge transition, and it isn''t always smooth. Good for you for being aware of your feelings and we''re here if you need to talk.

Thanks, Kimberly. I wish we''d met while you were in town. Next time!

 

[Harriet]

Date: 6/29/2008 7:20:35 PM
Author: purrfectpear
One of those links had more than cold feet going on

I believe the expression was full on iceberg ahead alert

Tuck those footies under a down comforter and have a cup of tea

Thanks for the laugh.

 

[miraclesrule]

The solution to cold feet...

Make an appt. for a massage and/or better yet, a foot massage. It will warm those cold feet right back up.

 

[Skippy123]

I think everyone goes through it; you will be fine

You have a good guy!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

As long as the feet aren''t iceblocks hauling a$$ at 80 mph I think we''re good.

Mine are idling right now hehehe

Hang in there brides!

 

[Harriet]

Thanks, ladies. Our wedding date is slightly more than a month away!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 6/29/2008 9:00:39 PM
Author: Harriet
Thanks, ladies. Our wedding date is slightly more than a month away!

Tons of time! lol

 

[Miranda]

Oh boy, I sure did! I think it''s completely normal to feel anxious. Relax girly! Everything will be fine!

 

[Harriet]

Really? Promise?

 

[Miranda]

Yes! You guys are happy now, you will be happy in the future. All it takes is a bit of dedication. Trust me. My feet were so cold they had ice growing on them. I almost called it off the morning of the wedding. Thank goodness I didn''t!!!!

 

[Harriet]

And you have 3 lovely kids now!

 

[Harriet]

And you have 3 loved and loving kids now!

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 6/29/2008 8:16:34 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 6/29/2008 3:37:05 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Harriet, I just wanted to throw some good thoughts your way. Getting married is a huge transition, and it isn''t always smooth. Good for you for being aware of your feelings and we''re here if you need to talk.

Thanks, Kimberly. I wish we''d met while you were in town. Next time!

Next time for sure, Harriet. We could have lunch and do a bit of jewelry browsing. Don''t worry about those cold feet, just ask FH to warm them up for you, I make J sit on mine.

 

[Miranda]

Yes we do! But, more importantly we have a great relationship and understand each other completely. It doesn''t always mean we like each other, though! LOL

Are you feeling any better?

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Just don''t throw your ring at your fiancee.....

cheers--Sharon

 

[Harriet]

Date: 6/30/2008 10:39:17 AM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 6/29/2008 8:16:34 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 6/29/2008 3:37:05 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Harriet, I just wanted to throw some good thoughts your way. Getting married is a huge transition, and it isn''t always smooth. Good for you for being aware of your feelings and we''re here if you need to talk.

Thanks, Kimberly. I wish we''d met while you were in town. Next time!

Next time for sure, Harriet. We could have lunch and do a bit of jewelry browsing. Don''t worry about those cold feet, just ask FH to warm them up for you, I make J sit on mine.

Haha!

 

[Harriet]

Date: 6/30/2008 4:49:06 PM
Author: Miranda
Yes we do! But, more importantly we have a great relationship and understand each other completely. It doesn''t always mean we like each other, though! LOL

Are you feeling any better?

Phew, glad to hear that''s normal.
I am today, thanks.

 

[Harriet]

Date: 6/30/2008 5:07:55 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

Just don''t throw your ring at your fiancee.....

cheers--Sharon

Sharon, how did you know?

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 6/30/2008 8:52:37 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 6/30/2008 5:07:55 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

Just don''t throw your ring at your fiancee.....

cheers--Sharon

Sharon, how did you know?

HI:

I can still "see" my (then) fiancee down on all fours....searching...

it, too shall pass.......

 

[Harriet]

I''m not the first? My ring box has teeth marks because the dog retrieved it.

 

[Linda W]

Harriet, you will be fine. Everyone goes through this. I did too. Rick and I have been happily married for almost 27 and a half years.