I just wanna say -- the random comments thread
- Thread starter VRBeauty
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@Slickk Where did the summer go? I hope it’s a good start to your school year.
I had to ask if you are wearing your new ring to class today..
I did wear it!! It was a bright spot in my long and crazy day!! Thank you @missy and @MamaBee for the good wishes. I’m exhausted tonight!
If only I could pull a Costanza!
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Thank you so much @MaisOuiMadame !! It wasn’t too bad as far as first days go!! I have one more ‘first day’ before I can retire
so that’s the good news!!
AllAboardTheBlingTrain
Ideal_Rock
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Not-me using the random comments thread as a confessional/diary entry...
As I think some of you are aware, I got out of a very serious relationship earlier this year, and recovering has been kind of difficult.
Well, a friend of mine has asked me out on a date, and I agreed. And I don't really know how I feel about it. I would like to go, I have always found him an attractive guy (in a "not for me" way, because for as long as I have known him either he or I have been in relationships). Well, he's been single for a couple years now, but it's been - what? Half a year for me? It feels like its a bit soon.
I'm kind of conflicted. But I am excited at the same time, I don't know.
What should I do?!
As I think some of you are aware, I got out of a very serious relationship earlier this year, and recovering has been kind of difficult.
Well, a friend of mine has asked me out on a date, and I agreed. And I don't really know how I feel about it. I would like to go, I have always found him an attractive guy (in a "not for me" way, because for as long as I have known him either he or I have been in relationships). Well, he's been single for a couple years now, but it's been - what? Half a year for me? It feels like its a bit soon.
I'm kind of conflicted. But I am excited at the same time, I don't know.
What should I do?!
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Go for it. We usually only regret the things we did not do. You have nothing to lose and much to gain! Have a wonderful time even if he doesn’t turn out to be the man of your dreams. And who knows? Maybe he will be
Worst case scenario you enjoy a lovely evening out with a friend.
You are excited about going so I'd definitely say go. If I recall correctly, your former relationship had problems for some time (?) so it wasn't like the end was a big surprise, correct? It could be this guy will be the one to make you forget all about that other one; possibly the one who was meant for you all along. And of course people don't tend to wait around so not going now could well mean losing out on this opportunity. I mean, it's just a date, not a proposal, right?
Okay so now I'm wondering why I want you to go on this date so badly lol.
vintageinjune
Brilliant_Rock
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I agree with @missy for this one - a date isn't a commitment! It is perfectly reasonable to feel conflicted, but this isn't a stranger, there is no pressure here. Be honest with communication, have fun, and just see where it goes.
AllAboardTheBlingTrain
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I think I need to internalise this. When I agreed he said he would book this restaurant he remembered I had mentioned as wanting to check out but hadn’t gone to yet. I thought it was nice that he remembered that. I have always enjoyed talking to him, too.Go for it. We usually only regret the things we did not do. You have nothing to lose and much to gain! Have a wonderful time even if he doesn’t turn out to be the man of your dreams. And who knows? Maybe he will be
Worst case scenario you enjoy a lovely evening out with a friend.
I think I might regret not giving it a shot. I’m just concerned we won’t be able to be friends if this doesn’t work out. My ex was my best friend and now we don’t talk. It would suck losing another friend.
You are excited about going so I'd definitely say go. If I recall correctly, your former relationship had problems for some time (?) so it wasn't like the end was a big surprise, correct? It could be this guy will be the one to make you forget all about that other one; possibly the one who was meant for you all along. And of course people don't tend to wait around so not going now could well mean losing out on this opportunity. I mean, it's just a date, not a proposal, right?
Okay so now I'm wondering why I want you to go on this date so badly lol.
Yes the writing was on the wall with my ex. We were simultaneously planning an engagement while also planning a breakup. Was a weird situation. I knew the end was coming but it was still hard.
I don’t want to put that much pressure on this date with my friend so I don’t want to think about it as “the one”, haha! But yeah I don’t see him waiting on me, even if he says he will, he’s not in love with me, he just said “I feel like there’s always been this potential there and I want to give it a shot. Will you have dinner with me and see where this could go?” And in the moment I just said yes. But then later I thought about it.
Except now I think if I rescind my acceptance he will take it very well of course but probably he will take it as a sign to move on. And he’s an attractive guy, I personally am acquainted with three girls who are into him (and ironically have all asked me about his relationship status in the last month or so, because they know we are friends). Even if not any of those three, there’s plenty of girls here for him to move on with!
I guess so! I’m glad none of you think this is “too soon” or I shouldn’t be doing this already, especially with a friend.
He looks quite a bit like my ex (not actual features, but just his general “look”) which is awkward. I clearly have a type.
vintageinjune
Brilliant_Rock
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*shrugs* We all like what we like, when it comes to jewelry, clothes, and.... significant others (or potential ones!).
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Yes that is one potential downside. But this doesn’t have to happen. If you have one date and don’t feel anything romantic towards him and vice versa you can easily go back to being friends IMO. If you go onto having a romantic relationship with him and ultimately the relationship ends that could happen. But again it doesn’t have to. And my dad always taught me life is worth nothing without taking worthwhile risks. And IMO this is one of those.
To quickly share with you. Well you know me. As quickly as I can. Lol
When Greg asked me out I almost said no. He wasn’t my “type”. I liked dark and tall and handsome. Greg has blonde hair with green eyes and he’s 5’10”. I always tended to be attracted to men over six feet who had dark hair dark eyes. And he was way too polished. I was generally drawn to the bohemian artist gentle soul. I told him maybe. Lol.
Then I was chatting with my mom and she said what do you have to lose. And I thought about it. What indeed. A bad date? It was a little more complicated than that though but I won’t go into details right now. Long story short I said yes when he called me as I asked him to.
He was late picking me up for that first date. Anyone who knows me knows that’s a huge deal breaker for me. Not respecting other people’s time. But he had an excellent reason. Truly he did and it was out of his control. But I almost left (I was at work and everyone was waiting with me as it was Friday afternoon and end of the work day and they didn’t want to leave me alone waiting for someone I didn’t really know). I really almost left. There were no cell phones back then and our office phones were shut down the day. But he finally got there (40 minutes late iirc) it was a magical first date. Yes it was. I felt like I was floating on air. I never felt that way before. Should have been my first clue he was the one but lol I was dense back then.
It took me five years to realize I wanted to marry him. And 3 years after he tried proposing for the first time lol. What can I say. I am very risk adverse. Which is why you should give some weight to my advice. I don’t say it lightly.
All this to say life is not worth living without calculated risks. Life is meant to be lived and risks are meant to be taken. Live it to the fullest as we only have this one life to live. As far as I know.
No matter what enjoy yourself on the date and try not thinking too far ahead.
One day at a time. Live in the moment.
And don’t overanalyze. I know what I’m talking about here
AllAboardTheBlingTrain
Ideal_Rock
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Yes that is one potential downside. But this doesn’t have to happen. If you have one date and don’t feel anything romantic towards him and vice versa you can easily go back to being friends IMO. If you go onto having a romantic relationship with him and ultimately the relationship ends that could happen. But again it doesn’t have to. And my dad always taught me life is worth nothing without taking worthwhile risks. And IMO this is one of those.
To quickly share with you. Well you know me. As quickly as I can. Lol
When Greg asked me out I almost said no. He wasn’t my “type”. I liked dark and tall and handsome. Greg has blonde hair with green eyes and he’s 5’10”. I always tended to be attracted to men over six feet who had dark hair dark eyes. And he was way too polished. I was generally drawn to the bohemian artist gentle soul. I told him maybe. Lol.
Then I was chatting with my mom and she said what do you have to lose. And I thought about it. What indeed. A bad date? It was a little more complicated than that though but I won’t go into details right now. Long story short I said yes when he called me as I asked him to.
He was late picking me up for that first date. Anyone who knows me knows that’s a huge deal breaker for me. Not respecting other people’s time. But he had an excellent reason. Truly he did and it was out of his control. But I almost left (I was at work and everyone was waiting with me as it was Friday afternoon and end of the work day and they didn’t want to leave me alone waiting for someone I didn’t really know). I really almost left. There were no cell phones back then and our office phones were shut down the day. But he finally got there (40 minutes late iirc) it was a magical first date. Yes it was. I felt like I was floating on air. I never felt that way before. Should have been my first clue he was the one but lol I was dense back then.
It took me five years to realize I wanted to marry him. And 3 years after he tried proposing for the first time lol. What can I say. I am very risk adverse. Which is why you should give some weight to my advice. I don’t say it lightly.
All this to say life is not worth living without calculated risks. Life is meant to be lived and risks are meant to be taken. Live it to the fullest as we only have this one life to live. As far as I know.
No matter what enjoy yourself on the date and try not thinking too far ahead.
One day at a time. Live in the moment.
And don’t overanalyze. I know what I’m talking about here
Thank you so much @missy
Especially the picture you posted. Trying to remind myself that it’s okay to want more than just okay.
I keep telling myself the same thing your mom told you - what do I have to lose, really? I would really love to keep him as a friend but if that becomes impossible.. so be it. I don’t want to think of him as a what-if. I don’t want regrets.
I agree that it's not necessarily a given that you'd lose him as a friend if this doesn't work out romantically.
Also, it seems somehow not the thing to say these days but, in my experience, male-female friendships don't tend to have a very long shelf life anyway. Of course they can last after one or both pair up with someone else but from what I've seen, they usually don't. The new partner doesn't like it and/or the friend isn't really interested anymore or whatever.
Also, it seems somehow not the thing to say these days but, in my experience, male-female friendships don't tend to have a very long shelf life anyway. Of course they can last after one or both pair up with someone else but from what I've seen, they usually don't. The new partner doesn't like it and/or the friend isn't really interested anymore or whatever.
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MamaBee
Super_Ideal_Rock
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My mom’s former co-worker..now friend, is my age. She has a male friend that she had for a few years. They decided to try dating since they had so much fun together. I met both of them..They are really attractive people..and very nice..There was no physical attraction, spark, etc. They actually had a good laugh about it. The friendship is stronger now that the elephant is out of the room. They have great vacations together, sleep in the same room and bed..No spark whatsoever. My mom said they still laugh about it.
Life is short…I would try..He may be perfect for you..
Life is short…I would try..He may be perfect for you..
AllAboardTheBlingTrain
Ideal_Rock
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I think I’m an oddity in that I have many close platonic male friends. I have close female friends too, but some of my male friends are like family, we’re that close.
Ofc with the friend I am going on a date with we are nowhere near that close. But I do value his company and wouldn’t want to lose it. Still, if he’s mature about it I think we could salvage some if that camaraderie.
Yeah I feel like if afterwards we feel like this isn’t going anywhere that’s totally fine by me! I like his company, I like talking to him. I would’ve been happy keeping him as just a friend but he’s also very attractive and I think I just want to try?
I don't follow this thread and I'm not sure why I peeked this time; I know I don't belong and I will scurry away. But not before saying this.
Watch Indian Matchmaking a bit. It really is instructive. And you will realize just how much you have it together as an adult. Plus, they go on dozens (one said hundreds) of these meet-and-greet dates where it is not so freighted with potential, etc.
Spouse and I watched a similar (Western) dating show decades ago and it was so eye-opening. I almost think it's like financial literacy -- it should be required of everyone. Yes, it's trash TV but when presented honestly (and not just a dozen hotties locked in a mansion for hookups), it's poignant and helpful. It's not This Old House for dating but it's not miles off...
AllAboardTheBlingTrain
Ideal_Rock
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Lol it’s so funny you bring up Indian Matchmaking because I am Indian the show is hilarious but also pretty realistic and true to life! my parents have been offering to get into the mix but idk I think I would prefer to find any new partner I have organically, the way I did in the past… the Sima Taparia way brings a lot of pressure with it.
And if I get into the arranged way of things it’s definitely way too soon now, emotionally.
Oh, that is quite the coincidence!
I didn't mean to go this route, per se. I just think it is such terrific pre-date prep!I should have gone on more dates. It seemed too high stakes and it was all "what ifs" in my mind. I lucked out with a few relationships and really lucked out with the most recent relationship that we both kinda wandered into a half a lifetime ago.
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"
The last words of Steve Jobs, billionaire, dead at 56:
"I have reached the pinnacle of success in business." In other people's eyes my life is a success.
However, aside from work, I’ve had little joy.
At the end of the day, wealth is just a fact I’ve gotten used to.
Right now, lying on my hospital bed, reminiscing all my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth I took so much pride in, has faded and become meaningless in the face of imminent death.
You can hire someone to drive your car or make money for you, but you can't hire someone to stand sick and die for you.
Material things lost can be found again. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost: Life.
Whatever stage of life we are currently at, in time we will face the day the curtain closes.
Love your family, spouse, children and friends... Treat them right .
Cherish them.
As we get older, and wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or $30 watch both give the same time
Whether we have a $300 or $30 wallet or purse, the amount inside is the same.
Whether we drive a $150,000 car or a $30,000 car, the road and the distance are the same, and we reach the same destination.
Whether we drink a $1000 or $10 bottle of wine, the hangover is the same.
Whether the house in which we live is 100 or 1000 square meters, loneliness is the same.
You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from material things of this world.
Whether you travel first class or economy class, if the plane crashes, you go down with it...
Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have friends, brothers and sisters, with whom you discuss, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north-south-east or heaven and earth,... this is the real happiness!!
An indisputable fact of life:
Don't raise your children to be rich.
Educate them to be happy.
When they grow up, they will know the value of things and not the price. "
"
The last words of Steve Jobs, billionaire, dead at 56:
"I have reached the pinnacle of success in business." In other people's eyes my life is a success.
However, aside from work, I’ve had little joy.
At the end of the day, wealth is just a fact I’ve gotten used to.
Right now, lying on my hospital bed, reminiscing all my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth I took so much pride in, has faded and become meaningless in the face of imminent death.
You can hire someone to drive your car or make money for you, but you can't hire someone to stand sick and die for you.
Material things lost can be found again. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost: Life.
Whatever stage of life we are currently at, in time we will face the day the curtain closes.
Love your family, spouse, children and friends... Treat them right .
Cherish them.
As we get older, and wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or $30 watch both give the same time
Whether we have a $300 or $30 wallet or purse, the amount inside is the same.
Whether we drive a $150,000 car or a $30,000 car, the road and the distance are the same, and we reach the same destination.
Whether we drink a $1000 or $10 bottle of wine, the hangover is the same.
Whether the house in which we live is 100 or 1000 square meters, loneliness is the same.
You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from material things of this world.
Whether you travel first class or economy class, if the plane crashes, you go down with it...
Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have friends, brothers and sisters, with whom you discuss, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north-south-east or heaven and earth,... this is the real happiness!!
An indisputable fact of life:
Don't raise your children to be rich.
Educate them to be happy.
When they grow up, they will know the value of things and not the price. "
"
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"
An old man meets a young man who asks:
“Do you remember me?”
And the old man says no. Then the young man tells him he was his student, And the teacher asks:
“What do you do, what do you do in life?”
The young man answers:
“Well, I became a teacher.”
“ah, how good, like me?” Asks the old man.
“Well, yes. In fact, I became a teacher because you inspired me to be like you.”
The old man, curious, asks the young man at what time he decided to become a teacher. And the young man tells him the following story:
“One day, a friend of mine, also a student, came in with a nice new watch, and I decided I wanted it.
I stole it, I took it out of his pocket.
Shortly after, my friend noticed the his watch was missing and immediately complained to our teacher, who was you.
Then you addressed the class saying, ‘This student's watch was stolen during classes today. Whoever stole it, please return it.’
I didn't give it back because I didn't want to.
You closed the door and told us all to stand up and form a circle.
You were going to search our pockets one by one until the watch was found.
However, you told us to close our eyes, because you would only look for his watch if we all had our eyes closed.
We did as instructed.
You went from pocket to pocket, and when you went through my pocket, you found the watch and took it. You kept searching everyone's pockets, and when you were done you said ‘open your eyes. We have the watch.’
You didn't tell on me and you never mentioned the episode. You never said who stole the watch either. That day you saved my dignity forever. It was the most shameful day of my life.
But this is also the day I decided not to become a thief, a bad person, etc. You never said anything, nor did you even scold me or take me aside to give me a moral lesson.
I received your message clearly.
Thanks to you, I understood what a real educator needs to do.
Do you remember this episode, professor?
The old professor answered, ‘Yes, I remember the situation with the stolen watch, which I was looking for in everyone’s pocket. I didn't remember you, because I also closed my eyes while looking.’
This is the essence of teaching:
If to correct you must humiliate; you don't know how to teach.
”
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I just ordered duck splints and got shown dehydrated duck heads as a suggested item I may be interested in. Ummm....... Someone didn't think through that computer stuff all that well!
Ducks are happy and healthy. Chickens are mostly happy and healthy. My special rooster has a yeast infection I am treating now. (Hence filling out the poultry first aid kit so I don't have to wait for shipping again, hopefully.)
Ducks are happy and healthy. Chickens are mostly happy and healthy. My special rooster has a yeast infection I am treating now. (Hence filling out the poultry first aid kit so I don't have to wait for shipping again, hopefully.)
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