I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[TooPatient]

I'm keeping this private in real life, but my biological father died yesterday. I found out he had a stroke about a week ago from a half sibling I didn't know existed. I shouldn't have this reaction. But it hurts and I have cried so much. He walked out on me as a child and signed away his parental rights when I was 13. He was not a good father. But it has always hurt. I have never gotten over it fully. And being contacted brought it all back. I'm angry, but mostly just hurt. And I can't stop crying now that he's dead.

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for all of your hurt. DH last saw his father when he was maybe 18? His father shot at him. Skip forward 40+ years and he got the letter that his father died. It hit him hard. Then it hitting him hard hit him hard. Hang in there.

 

[missy]

I'm keeping this private in real life, but my biological father died yesterday. I found out he had a stroke about a week ago from a half sibling I didn't know existed. I shouldn't have this reaction. But it hurts and I have cried so much. He walked out on me as a child and signed away his parental rights when I was 13. He was not a good father. But it has always hurt. I have never gotten over it fully. And being contacted brought it all back. I'm angry, but mostly just hurt. And I can't stop crying now that he's dead.

I am so sorry for your loss @elizat and for your pain and sorrow. It is painful and hard to accept death even if the relationship was non existent and challenging especially because you never had the relationship you wished for with your father.

There is no right or wrong way to feel Eliza. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel exactly how you are feeling. Of course you are angry and hurt and I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending gentle {{{hugs}}} your way.

 

[elizat]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for all of your hurt. DH last saw his father when he was maybe 18? His father shot at him. Skip forward 40+ years and he got the letter that his father died. It hit him hard. Then it hitting him hard hit him hard. Hang in there.

Thank you for responding. That's a lot of it. When I found out he was dying, it brought everything I have buried for years to the surface. I thought I had made peace with it and that when I was going to be told he passed- it was inevitable, massive stroke and a medically induced come after for two weeks, that I had processed it. I didn't expect to feel like this. And I'm taking it hard that I'm taking it hard. Because I logically should not. My other half tells me to feel how I feel and let it process- I know he's right. But I'm kind of doing what your husband did- it's helpful to know that it's not crazy.

 

[elizat]

I am so sorry for your loss @elizat and for your pain and sorrow. It is painful and hard to accept death even if the relationship was non existent and challenging especially because you never had the relationship you wished for with your father.

There is no right or wrong way to feel Eliza. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel exactly how you are feeling. Of course you are angry and hurt and I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending gentle {{{hugs}}} your way.

Thank you, Missy and for your kindness. I just had to "say" it. And it's sorrow over what he could have been and all the baggage I carry because of what happened with him and what I wanted from him as a child, but he never gave. His son wrote to me that he never forgot about me, was proud, talked about me and kept old pictures of us when I was a child. I just wanted him to care when I was a kid. I guess he did later on in life, but as a child I never understood why he acted that way. I guess later in life he changed. But it hurts, and much more than I want it to.

 

[bling_dream19]

Oh gosh I'm soo sorry Elizat. It sounds like he kept you very close in his heart, especially later in life. I'm sure the pain is immense and I'm sorry your dad was not there for you. Sending you a hug and peace.

 

[MamaBee]

@elizat I’m so sorry about your feelings over the loss of your dad. It shows you have a big heart...I hope in time you will find peace that he did love you..(((HUG)))

 

[lyra]

I'm so sorry @elizat. Parental feelings run deep, even if the person wasn't actively a part of your life. You're having to mourn for what might have been, and that's intangible. Take care.

 

[JPie]

@elizat I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you’re able to make peace with it sooner than later.

 

[GlitterInMyHair]

I just bought a mini fridge with cow print for all my skincare products. It's either a most useless or utterly ingenious purchase. Odds are 50/50, LOL.

 

[canuk-gal]

I just bought a mini fridge with cow print for all my skincare products. It's either a most useless or utterly ingenious purchase. Odds are 50/50, LOL.

Moohey! Just when I thought I was finished shopping.....

 

[VRBeauty]

Elizat, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the loss of your father, sorry for how he hurt you, and sorry for the relationship you didn’t have the chance to have with him. The old tropes about taking comfort in memories don’t apply here - I think the truth is that many of of us have relationships with our parents that are more “complex” than we’d readily admit, and grief is often tinged with many other feelings including anger, resentment, and guilt.

I know it sounds paradoxical, but I hope you can take some comfort in your grief. It says something about you and your capacity to love - and it may also reflect the the pure feelings you had for your father as a child.

 

[GlitterInMyHair]

@elizat I am very sorry for what you are going through. I hope your pain and hurt will lessen each day.

Many hugs.

 

[Dee*Jay]

It's hot here. HOT. Like 95 and muggy HOT. And every person I come in contact with complains about how HOT it is.

These are also the people who b!tched all winter long about how COLD it was and how they couldn't WAIT for summer to come.

Well guess what -- it DID!

I got two options for you people:

Move to LA.

Or SHUT UP.

 

[yssie]

My AC is broken.
I'm melting.

 

[TooPatient]

My aunt backed out in the concert in Las Vegas. Now I have an extra. DH doesn't want to go (which is fine as we have no one to watch the dogs). Not returnable. Not sellable on the to let seller's market page. Listed it in FB market and offer up and a local sales group for $100 off then $150 off then $200 off. Invited a lady from the winery but she can't get off work. I have some people I have thought about inviting, but then decide it isn't a good idea. (I don't want to have to buy their airline ticket and all food and anything else I want to do since they can't afford. I also don't want someone who insists on "spending time together" only to sit in casinos gambling and getting drunk.) I hate to see the ticket go to waste. I may resort to StubHub and hope the negative reviews really are the exception.

 

[missy]

People are so mean. In SMTB a young woman has posted her ring and made a poll. If one has nothing nice to say then keep your mouth shut in SMTB. Well in the poll an overwhelming majority voted no they do not like the ring. WTF. Can everyone just go there and vote yes so this poor girl isn't devastated. I don't understand people. It's in SMTB not Rocky talk yanno.

 

[Natylad]

People are so mean. In SMTB a young woman has posted her ring and made a poll. If one has nothing nice to say then keep your mouth shut in SMTB. Well in the poll an overwhelming majority voted no they do not like the ring. WTF. Can everyone just go there and vote yes so this poor girl isn't devastated. I don't understand people. It's in SMTB not Rocky talk yanno.

@missy you are absolutely right. I saw that and I made the exact same thoughts. And she seems like such a sweet person and didn't even take it the wrong way, but still it's mean and rude and impolite. People post in SMTB in order to share the pieces that they love and feel proud of with all of us. Obviously they expect us to be supportive and to share their enthusiasm. If we don't really like the piece, we should just keep our opinion to ourselves and make no comment. Not post negative comments or vote at the polls that we don't like their piece.
As Missy said, it's a whole different story when the thread is in Rocky Talky. People go in Rocky Talky in order to receive the experts' sincere opinions and usually BEFORE they buy a piece of jewelry. They are prepared for negative feedback and uaually they appreciate it because it can save them from a bad purchase. But what's the point in leaving any kind of negative comments on a piece that somebody already owns and obviously enjoys wearing? I don't know.....

 

[junebug17]

^That thread has gone from bad to worse...the mods will probably close it soon.

 

[Matata]

^That thread has gone from bad to worse...the mods will probably close it soon.

Yep. She's been outed. Nasty.

 

[GlitterInMyHair]

@missy
You are a very kind person, but that particular poster has been outed as someone who was nasty to others under a previous acct name.

 

[missy]

@missy
You are a very kind person, but that particular poster has been outed as someone who was nasty to others under a previous acct name.

Hi Glitter, I haven't been back there since that first visit so I have no clue what is now going on but I will say I always prefer to err on the side of kindness. It is disappointing that this person is not who she pretended to be but I don't regret my behavior nor do I think voting the way it went down in SMTB was acceptable. I stand by what I wrote above no matter who this poster is.

Off to check the thread out.

 

[VRBeauty]

I checked in on that thread yesterday and thought it was just strange - why on earth would someone post a poll like that? It’s pretty clear now that the poster just likes to incite drama so they claim harassment and bullying. To what end, I’m not sure, though the old child rearing axiom - that to a kid who’s starved for attention, even negative attention is good - comes to mind. And googling the posters previous screen name, it’s clear that she’s been able to draw plenty of negative attention with her antics.

I find it rather sad, really.., and not because of comments about the ring.

 

[junebug17]

^That thread is bizarre...not sure what's going on and what the real story is, and honestly I don't care. It's just weird and I hope the mods remove it soon.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I just wanna say ...

YOU win the internet today!

 

[telephone89]

I just wanna say ...


YOU win the internet today!

That thread was a trip.

 

[AGBF]

You guys made me go look at it, but it didn't look all that interesting to me. Maybe you had to be there. (I mean experience the thread as it went along.)

Deb

 

[Dancing Fire]

Off to check the thread out.

Gone with the wind ...

 

[yssie]

One of our cats takes about a year to get used to anything. So the new cleaners coming this morning was the most terrifying experience in his existence thus far (well, since the AC repair folk came last week).

They came at 6 this morning.

Instead of going upstairs like the other cats, and maybe hiding under the bed, he chose to burrow himself a little hollow in the larder. By the almonds.

The cleaners shut him in at some point, because they wouldn’t have known to worry about a cat in a closet, which is not unreasonable... They’ve been gone for half an hour and he just came out.

I’m often surprised he isn’t already dead from the stresses of his day-to-day.

 

[missy]

One of our cats takes about a year to get used to anything. So the new cleaners coming this morning was the most terrifying experience in his existence thus far (well, since the AC repair folk came last week).

They came at 6 this morning.

Instead of going upstairs like the other cats, and maybe hiding under the bed, he chose to burrow himself a little hollow in the larder. By the almonds.

The cleaners shut him in at some point, because they wouldn’t have known to worry about a cat in a closet, which is not unreasonable... They’ve been gone for half an hour and he just came out.

I’m often surprised he isn’t already dead from the stresses of his day-to-day.

OMG yes we have this same experience. Except all of our cats take hours to come out after the cleaners have left. Literally hours. And they have been cleaning our house for years. Our cats are mentally challenged lol. But we love them anyway.

@yssie I hope your A/C is fixed! I am not looking forward to the heat wave we are getting and pray all of our air conditioning stays fixed.

 

[missy]

Gone with the wind ...

Where it belongs. That was a ridiculous thread.