I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[hawaiianorangetree]

Thanks guys. It's 3am and I can't sleep, my body is exhausted but my mind just keeps On going.

The puppy was a mini schnauzer, so they were not related. I'd watched the GS with the puppy and she was so good and patient with her and I'm guessing the GS just snapped over something. She was 5 years old but had only been with mum for a couple of months. The GS has gone back to the breeder she came from to be held until mum comes home.

Please don't flame me for this, I now she it was a stupid mistake to have the two of them together and I am never going to forgive myself for this, and I don't think my mum will either.

 

[Enerchi]

Your mom WILL forgive you!!! It was an accident - an ACCIDENT - it was not planned, you were not negligent, you were caring for both her dogs and it could have just as easily happened to her, as it did to you.

You did the right thing by getting the GS to the breeder - safer for all involved and it removes you from having to deal with emotions when you see that dog. The MS loss is sad - VERY SAD, of course - but I go back to "it was an ACCIDENT"! you can not control an animal and who knows what provoked it.

Please get some sleep, HOT. Would you consider talking to your MD about this and seeing what suggestions she can offer. This is very traumatic for you to go thru and to harbour all this guilt. I am so sorry you are going thru this. Please do your best to get some rest....

 

[princesss]

Edited. I am so sorry you're going through this, HOT. This is not your fault. Animals are animals, and they don't behave the way we want them to/expect them to all the time.

 

[VRBeauty]

Ditto everything Enerchi said, and double kudos to you for thinking to get the GS back to the breeder.

This was not your fault. I could have happened to anyone - it could have happened to your mother. Worse yet, you or your mother could have been hurt in the process.

Please do what you need to do to get some rest.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

UPS charged me $90 in brokerage/processsing fees from jewellery bought online---MORE than our taxes! Disgusted!!!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Enerchi, it sucks you don't like your son's gf. I wonder, though, do you think perhaps your views of her are not accurate? You seem to have a positive view of your son, and if you think he is a good person, then on some level you need to trust his choices don't you think? How do you think it must feel to be her, I am sure knowing full well that you and the rest of the family dislike her -- either because she can pick up on the signs or because your son has told her how you all feel. Barring the possibility she is deranged or psycho or fundamentally flawed, bad behavior on her part that you or other siblings observe could be a result of dyadic and relational processes taking place between her and your family. I am a mother of sons and I know one of the hardest tasks I will face on day is respecting my sons choices for a mate. What if they choose someone different than me? Does that mean they are reacting against me? What if they choose someone I don't understand? There is a reason that MILs get a bad rap I think mothers can hold too tightly to their sons and tend to dislike the "interloper" on principle sometimes. I had a terrible situation with my first boyfriend in my late 20s. His family hated me and thought I was a terrible influence on their son. And I found them judgemental and interfering. It was a horrible situation for my bf at the time. Was I right or was his mother? I suspect neither of us. I do know having been on that side, and knowing what I know about psychology, that I do not want to be that type of MIL one day. I will not hold a grudge against a future DIL or shut my son out of my life because of a petty grievance. I am sure you don't want to do that either. Perhaps reach out to this woman and try to get to know her? Rather than trying to stop your son from being with her, perhaps try to understand why he loves her? The end result will likely be the same whatever you do. But if you reach out you will have a place in your sons life, and if you try to fight things... welll, sons do and should pick their wives over their mothers.

 

[missy]

HOT, I am so sorry about what you are going through and for the loss of that poor dog.
I know there are no words to describe how you are feeling and my heart goes out to you and all involved.
I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. So terribly sad.

 

[TooPatient]

I need sleep.

 

[yssie]

HOT - oh, god. I'm SO sorry.

It wasn't your fault. Truly, it wasn't. It was a tragedy and if it hadn't happened under your watch it'd have happened on someone else's. You were very kind to mind both, but minding doesn't mean watching 24/7 to forestall the unforseeable.

I'm so relieved you and your family are *safe*. I hope the shepherd gets the training it needs and goes to a good home afterward, and I hope you can forgive yourself and get some sleep soon

Tons and tons of ::HUGS::

 

[yssie]

HOT - oh, god. I'm SO sorry.

It wasn't your fault. Truly, it wasn't. It was a tragedy and if it hadn't happened under your watch it'd have happened on someone else's. You were very kind to mind them, but minding doesn't mean watching 24/7 to forestall the unforseeable.

I'm so relieved you and your family are *safe*. I hope the shepherd gets the training it needs and goes to a good home afterward, and I hope you can forgive yourself and get some sleep soon

 

[junebug17]

I hope you're doing ok HOT - thinking about you, and hoping you've been able to get some rest - and wanted to re-emphasize this was NOT your fault, could have happened with anyone and as yssie pointed out, it would be impossible to watch them 24/7. So sorry you have to go through this, hugs to you.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Thank you so much junebug, VR, Enerchi, princess, missy and Yssie for all of your thoughts.
It's been a really hard couple of days but we are starting to feel slightly better. Yesterday was spent crying pretty much the whole day. It's just so horrible to think about and I can't go out the back without wanting to cry. Everyone that has heard about it has said that it's not my fault and I couldn't have known, so maybe it is right, but I still feel guilty. I guess only time is going to help me feel better, that and finally being able to tell my mum next week. It's going to be a long week.

The shepherd is staying with the breeder until mum comes home and then she can decide if she wants to keep her or not. They had said in the begining if things didn't work out with her within 3 months that mum could return her for a full refund. It makes me wonder if they knew there was a chance that she wouldn't work out.

Thanks again for your kind words.

 

[yssie]

Thank you so much junebug, VR, Enerchi, princess, missy and Yssie for all of your thoughts.
It's been a really hard couple of days but we are starting to feel slightly better. Yesterday was spent crying pretty much the whole day. It's just so horrible to think about and I can't go out the back without wanting to cry. Everyone that has heard about it has said that it's not my fault and I couldn't have known, so maybe it is right, but I still feel guilty. I guess only time is going to help me feel better, that and finally being able to tell my mum next week. It's going to be a long week.

The shepherd is staying with the breeder until mum comes home and then she can decide if she wants to keep her or not. They had said in the begining if things didn't work out with her within 3 months that mum could return her for a full refund. It makes me wonder if they knew there was a chance that she wouldn't work out.

Thanks again for your kind words.

I'm glad you're feeling just a bit better today!

I don't know about the return but I'd hate to think that they had any reason to believe the shepherd might be aggressive toward smaller animals

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

I'm glad you're feeling just a bit better today!

I don't know about the return but I'd hate to think that they had any reason to believe the shepherd might be aggressive toward smaller animals

Thanks yssie.

Yeah i hope they didnt know either. They knew mum had a puppy as well and i know that she had had 2 litters of pups herself but i guess that doesnt really mean anything. When the breeder picked her up he chose his words very carefully. He said that "she was not tolerant of dogs that didn't know their place". He didn't really say anything else except that he was shocked and so sorry that it had happened. The poor thing knew she had done wrong. She was hiding in our garden shed and I had to coax her out. She came out crawling on her belly with her tail between her legs cowering. Poor thing looked like she was saying sorry.

I'm just so sad. Sad for the shepherd, sad for my mum, sad for my daughter who grew so attached to them both in such a short time and most of all sad for that poor little puppy that didn't deserve any of this.

 

[Enerchi]

Oh my. That is such a terrible thing to go thru, but I'm so glad that today you are just that much better, HOT. One day at a time and keep reminding yourself it had NOTHING to do with you! It could have been your mom, it could have been another dog... it could have been much MUCH worse!

I have an odd feeling, I think that breeder may know more than he is letting on... just to be guarded with how he is responding AND to say "she was not tolerant of dogs that did not know their place", isn't sitting well with me. He knew your mom also had a puppy. A puppy sure does not know its place in the 'food chain' yet and needs to be taught by the older dogs in the pack. Something caused the GS to snap and I think the breeder had a notion that it could happen.

Hang in there. We all are here to support you and get you thru this! Be extra attentive to your little one... poor thing to have to live thru that

 

[yssie]

I'm glad you're feeling just a bit better today!

I don't know about the return but I'd hate to think that they had any reason to believe the shepherd might be aggressive toward smaller animals

Thanks yssie.

Yeah i hope they didnt know either. They knew mum had a puppy as well and i know that she had had 2 litters of pups herself but i guess that doesnt really mean anything. When the breeder picked her up he chose his words very carefully. He said that "she was not tolerant of dogs that didn't know their place". He didn't really say anything else except that he was shocked and so sorry that it had happened. The poor thing knew she had done wrong. She was hiding in our garden shed and I had to coax her out. She came out crawling on her belly with her tail between her legs cowering. Poor thing looked like she was saying sorry.

I'm just so sad. Sad for the shepherd, sad for my mum, sad for my daughter who grew so attached to them both in such a short time and most of all sad for that poor little puppy that didn't deserve any of this.

I cried when I read it yesterday. I completely understand how you'd feel wretched, even though it really wasn't at all your fault!

The "know their place" bit is... I don't know what to make of that, and goodness, I don't like it! The poor puppy... and oh, I don't know if I should say this but I'm so worried for the shepherd too, I just can't help believing that most animals can be rehabbed and I really really hope the breeder gets her the training she needs!

 

[VRBeauty]

HOT - It sounds like you're still staying at your mother's house. Now that the dogs are not there, is there any reason that you need to stay in the house 24/7? Would it be possible for you to return to the comfort of your own home for one night? Or better yet, return to your own home and check in on your mothers house each day? It sounds like it might be good for you and your daughter to be away from your mother's house for awhile.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Enerchi- thank you love. Yeah it doesn't sit well with me either. I wasn't in the right state to question him the other night (obviously!) but I will be taking it up when the initial shock and sadness wears off when we tell my mum next week.

Yssie- sounds ridiculous to say after what's happened but she really was a nice dog. I hope the breeder helps her too if mum decides not to keep her, but it won't suprise me one bit if she does. and thank you for underatanding my wretchedness, some people have looked at me like I'm crazy when they have found out I've been so upset over a dog. It makes me wonder if some people even have hearts anymore..

VR- mum brought her 2 dogs and cat to my house to stay as hers is too far away from work and school. I wish I could get away from here, but unfortunately it's not possible. I am feeling better today though, so that's a good thing.

This would possibly have to be the worst week of my life in, well, ever. First, the poor puppy at the start of the week, then my uncles funeral on Tuesday. My dad wrote his car off driving back to his place (6 hour drive) after the funeral in the middle of the night, 3 hours away and was very lucky that he didn't die in the process. Yesterday afternoon my poor dd comes down with gastro and vomited every half hour for 12 hours, my aunty (dads sister) looks like she will probably pass in the next 24 - 48 hours and I have another funeral to go to tomorrow. SERIOUSLY WHAT ELSE? I'll be glad when July is over.

 

[justginger]

HOT - I am so sorry to hear about the terrible experience with your mum's dogs. I can't even imagine how strong you've had to be. Of course your head knows that you didn't do anything wrong, but your heart still aches for all of the 'what if's. It's a disastrous black hole of blame to be sucked into and I'm glad you seem to have pulled yourself out.

Everyone loses in this situation. Of course the poor puppy is beyond help, but my heart aches for the GSD. It sounds as if the breeder should have spoken up in regards to her dominance issues earlier.

I hope your week gets better - no one deserves such a rotten trot.

 

[Enerchi]

HOT!!! Holy crap you are having the July from hell!!! ugh ugh ugh!!!

Only a few days left - August will be a winning month for you! (fingers crossed). You are obviously a very strong person and you are coping VERY well under these incredibly challenging circumstances. Stay positive - you are taking everything as it comes, prioritizing and moving forward and that's all you can aim for.

I hope things go much better for you... thinking good thoughts and sending you a HUGE {{{HUG}}} and lots of dust for a good turn of events!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Thanks JG and Enerchi!

The week from hell didn't end there, i managed to back my car into someone else (boxed me in) and my niece fell out of a tree while we were out on my Dads property and smashed her face on a branch on the way down breaking her nose and splitting her lip so bad that she had to have plastic surgery to fix it.

I am feeling so much better though. We are able to talk about whats happened without me bursting into tears so that is a positive.
Today is D day. I'm going up to the airport tonight to break the news to my mum on the way home with my sister. I woke up this morning to find an email from her with the subject line "My Babies" asking when she could pick them all up. This is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Is it August yet?

 

[lulu]

Hot- I hope things turn around for you-I would have been heartbroken too. I think that when you're stressed about something you're more vulnerable to accidents.

 

[susimoo]

I haven't been posting very much due to school vacation and just found this. HOT I am just so sorry to hear all the terrible things that have happened.

I really hope that your conversation with your mum went as well as can be expected. You were not to blame and I am sure she will understand.

Sending you love.

Susan xxx

 

[Enerchi]

HOT! How did it go? how are you, after telling your mom the situation? And your mom - how is she doing??? Hope you guys are doing as well as can be expected... thinking of you {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Amys Bling]

Thinking of you HOT.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Lulu, Susan, Enerchi, Amy and Everyone else that has given me your support over the last week I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It has really meant so much to me and has helped me pull myself out of my slump. I haven't been able to speak too much about it IRL in fear of mum finding out so having this thread to come to has helped immensely.

Mum came home last night and it went as well as could be expected. We managed to get her into the car before having to tell her as she kept asking how they were. Naturally she was distraught but immediately said that it wasn't my fault, which lifted a great weight off of my shoulders. We cried all the way the home and i stayed at mums for a couple of hours talking about it before i went home at about 3.30am. She blames herself and said that she knew she should have never agreed to go away so soon after getting the dogs. I told her exactly what you all have said to me, that it wasnt her fault and could have happened at any time. She is sorry for all that she has put us through. I'm just sorry that mum has to feel like this as well.

We buried Pebbles next to our old dog this morning and said our goodbyes.

Thank you again for all of your words of support and wisdom. I couldn't have gotten through it without them.

RIP Pebbles. A puppy forever xx

 

[susimoo]

HOT

Thank you for coming back and telling us how it went. It must have been awful for all concerned. I hope you all are now able to find some peace.

I had a good old cry when I saw that cheeky little face.

Sending you and yours hugs and love.

 

[Amys Bling]

What a beautiful and precious pup.

 

[Enerchi]

Thank you for the info, HOT. I'm so glad your mom also told you it wasn't your fault... I agree, you must have felt so much lighter after hearing her say that!!! Will your mom be off to see the GS breeder to talk about that dogs future? Wonder what will happen to that dog... that's a bit stressful too. Oh, such a rotten thing to go thru.

Pebbles looks just like our 2 past mini schnauzer puppies - that 'windblown' look of their puppy faces!!! So sweet! Take good care of yourself, and your mom and daughter, too.

 

[Enerchi]

30 years ago today, I went on my first date with this great guy that I kinda liked... a little... !!! We saw the movie ET and went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream after. Turned out be be a really fun evening, we had a few more dates that summer and then became exclusive. Lucky for me, he is now my DH of 27 years and we just now got back from going to Baskin Robbins for ice cream to commemorate our first date - isn't that sweet??? 30 years of being together --- my coworker is 30 and I've been with my husband as long as she's been alive... YIKES!